Why I was apprehensive about allowing my toddler to use technology
Before our little one was born, I was against the use of technology. I had a minimal allowance for a TV schedule planned out for her and we made a cage to hide our mobile phones. I never considered the possibility she would be allowed a fancy tablet.
Yes, I know. It all quickly went out of the window.
She now has a top-of-the-range tablet, access to Amazon Prime, Netflix, BBC iPlayer. She’s a toddler! Ohhh I also forgot, she now has Disney Plus on her tablet too. I remember VHS and we were lucky if we got a few Disney films for Christmas!
I mean let’s be real for a second. The fear parents have in this day and age is whether exposure to technology could potentially pose risks further down the line. Does allowing her to have a fancy tablet cause her potential danger?
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The real issue
I mean let’s be real for a second. The fear parents have in this day and age is whether exposure to technology could potentially pose risks further down the line. Does allowing her to have a fancy tablet cause her potential danger?
An addiction to video games. Setting up social media accounts at 13 years old, pretending to be 16. Demanding a personal mobile phone. We all read the horror stories and thankfully it isn’t something I have to deal with yet. These sensitive issues are for another blog post, probably from someone who has lived through these experiences. I truly feel for any parent worrying about the online world when it comes to their children.
It can absolutely be a scary place for adults and I see examples of it every day.
Techology taking over
Part of my anxiety about ‘screen time’ was caused by a world in which I feared large corporations were taking over. I wanted to support small businesses and not buy from Amazon. I didn’t want Google to know everything about me. But whether I like it or not, it’s how we live these days. And you cannot very well start a blog without accepting this reality.
We, as adults are allowed a fancy tablet, mobile phones, a smart TV, Alexa. How can we have all this in the house and say no to her accessing technology?
This NY Times article really resonates with me, because it talks about setting an example. We do still have the ‘phone cage’ and this blog post I wrote, 9 easy steps to ensure quality family time is a top priority talks about how we prioritse family time by putting our mobile phones away at a certain point in the evening.
Fear of social media
I’ve mentioned in this post, 13 motivations for joining the incredible mental health blogging bandwagon, how I felt the opinions of other people massively impacted my mental health during pregnancy.
For two years I didn’t go anywhere near social networks. I wouldn’t even allow my hubby to show me funny posts on Facebook. How ironic!
Since having a child, allowing her to have limited use of technology, and experiencing a mental breakdown, I’ve now embraced technology to its full extent. I mean, I set up a blog, pretty much by myself (hubby & Bluehost support get a special mention for the handful of tasks I couldn’t fathom!)
Since starting the blog, I’ve realised it’s time to embrace the technological world we live in. I mean it’s pretty hard to ignore, unless I actually get my wish of living in a log cabin in the woods, in peace. No toddler coming to the toilet with me. Let me dream for a second, please!
How I made technology work for me
Using technology on your own terms, for its intended purpose. Limiting the amount of screen time or personal details you divulge, can be helpful if privacy is a concern for you. Setting boundaries is also a great way to remain in control. My blog is anonymous at the moment and I’m still making valuable connections with people.
I want to mirror this with my little one and set a good example for her by how we as adults use technology. I found this interesting study by the Lego Foundation, which heavily focuses on technology for learning and developing creative skills. When the question about limiting screen time is posed, they correctly say it isn’t a one-size-fits-all approach and they include some practical guidance for parents. The full study can be found here.
In summary, whilst she is allowed a fancy tablet, this comes with certain boundaries. Child lock being the most obvious one, limited screen time and since she first got it, we’ve added learning and development apps. We frequently play these together and talk about what she is learning.
Other posts you might like…
9 easy steps to ensure quality family time is a top priority
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Social media
I think the use of social media can be beneficial if you have boundaries. It sounds a bit silly, but I can personally step away from my social media platforms when I need to because of the blog. I have many other tasks on my plate and social media is just one of them.
This doesn’t take away from the genuine connections I make and how supported I feel by others. This is all real, I just don’t constantly live in the online world. My post mentions how the blogging community is also the most understanding bunch of people I’ve ever connected with. And that definitely helps.
Some of the boundaries I set for myself
I have a personal rule, where I would never post pictures of our little one on social media. The hubby rarely does and asks permission from me first, because he respects my decision and the thinking behind the decision. Everyone is different. We all have different values and just like our decisions in life, we will decide what’s best for us when it comes to the use of technology and social media.
Measures you can put in place for young people using phones and social media
A friend of mine has the family tracking app. It gives her peace of mind when her young teens are out of the house, with friends, for a bit of freedom. They also regularly check social media accounts for dodgy messages and all the other scary stuff. It’s something I would definitely use when the time Is right!
I also think being honest with a child is valuable. As parents, we already try to do this with small things and she’s only two years old. I would like to find a balance between honesty and not completely dulling her spirit. Hopefully, the world we live in will be better in the future, when this conversation arises.
Summary
In summary, I think the use of technology in a safe way, with set boundaries and measures in place, is harmless. Technology can be a benefit to us all if used in the correct way. It should be viewed as a useful addition to our lives. Social media breaks are needed and I intend to take them regularly. We should be living in the real world and not focusing solely on our social media friends, evening though some of mine are amazing and funny Tweets are addictive.
I just wish I was lucky enough to have on-demand cartoons when I was a kid. Don’t worry, I will remind her daily just how fortunate she is.
What are your thoughts on these issues raises in this article?
Let me know in the comments below. I would love to hear from you.
No child below 5 should have access to any form of technology that’s hand held. As far any child over that age using an iPad they should have specific apps and no way to use the internet. Children see far too many things nowadays even more than when I was growing up before any such devices had been introduced. It’s a balance that has to be finely balance but seriously children really shouldn’t be using iPads at all when I’m completely honest.
I felt exactly the same before having children. But in reality, it’s difficult to keep them away from technology. They see it everywhere.
I think it is about finding a balance. We have parental controls on the tablet and apps. We have always used educational games and apps since she was a baby. But she does also watch cartoons and films.
A difficult subject for all parents.
Very interesting topic! I don’t have kids so I’ve not been in your position but I can definitely see how difficult the decision can be. I feel like with boundaries and set rules in place, you have a handle on it. I think we all need these boundaries and rules when it comes to screen time!
I agree with this. Boundaries and rules are key!
This is such an interesting topic. I think there’s an element of taboo about it to some extent – people feeling ashamed to admit they use the ‘electronic babysitter‘! Allowing our little one to watch something or play a game on the iPad means we can get a break or get stuff done. And the fact is, she has learnt a lot from it, so it’s not all bad.
However there is that balance to think about and it’s another thing we stress about because we wonder what it could escalate to and if it’s doing damage because ‘she should be out there climbing trees’ or something…
Great topic!
Thank you.
I totally agree with the getting a break thing, parents need it. All about balance. Thankfully we have some nursery days, so it makes me feel better knowing she is getting out in the fresh air a few days a week.
I used technology to teach my kids to read, count, and so on. For educational purposes. Or those times when you are exhausted, and want to rest. Now I don’t like how much my teenagers are online.
We have always had some educational games on her tablet, but our little one likes films before bed now. Sometimes not great when we are trying to get her to sleep.
I will be the same when she is a teenager!
I can definitely see how this is a concern. My son is older, but he’s already asking for a phone and I’m not quite sure yet how I feel about letting him have one.
It’s definitely a concern. I think it will be worse for me when our little one is older. It’s scary how good she is with technology already though.
this is such an interesting topic & one i still don’t know how i feel. i’m not yet a mother BUT close to that stage & I think having tablets can be beneficial with proper parental control on them. But they are also an expensive item & I’d much rather see them play outside or with other toys especially during the early stages.
It’s something to definitely monitor. I think it’s also dependant on the child & how they behave with those items.
I totally agree with controls. I would much rather get out in the fresh air and we do try.
It’s also a great point about the type of child. I feel like our little one likes music, noise, distraction. Therefore watching her tablet can sometimes help with this.
All about balance, but sometimes tricky to find one.
This is something I think about a lot as a librarian for children and teens. I definitely understand your concerns about internet safety, but agree that there are lots of safe and healthy ways to set technology boundaries with kids. I actually think allowing kids time to use technology is extremely important because digital literacy is valued so highly in school and life now. I think you’re approaching this question very reasonably and appreciate hearing your perspective on this tough topic.
Thank you for your comment.
I agree that keeping them away from technology wouldn’t serve them well, as using it in school would then be daunting.
All about balance and I hope we can keep a healthy balance when it comes to the subject.
I think limiting time on technology is important, but also technology is an important part of our life nowadays so finding a healthy balance is so important!
I totally agree, for children and us adults (I need to get off Twitter sometimes!). All about balance, like anything else in life.
Technology is so tough within young children’s lives- especially nowadays. I love this insight into whether a young child should be allowed a fancy tablet, and I think it will help other parents to see your opinions x
I agree. I know how much it impacts me, let alone a child.
Thank you for your comment – I hope talking about the subject helps other parents.
I do agree that your concerns are genuine when it comes to letting your toddler have a tablet. I mean while setting privacy settings and parental controls may work for now, down the line it may not. I think that restricting their usage to just weekends or on trips can help curve the addiction that comes with tech usage.
Great tips. It might be good for us to implement certain times when technology is allowed.