I originally wrote this open letter to my anxiety post with a guest post opportunity in mind. But, instead, I decided to share it in the lead up to World Mental Health Day 2021

I am finally telling the negative voice in my head it doesn’t rule my thoughts and it has to go…

Anxiety,

I am writing to you, but not as a dear friend. Instead, as a goodbye! Yes, you will remain in healthy amounts and you will be managed when you become unruly. 

But you will never again destroy my life as you have done for so many years. You’ve taken up rent-free space in my brain for too long now. Making me believe your negative jibes.

You made me pretend I was just a difficult person, that you were part of my personality, I was highly strung and you made me lie to the people closest to me to cover up our toxic partnership.  I suffered in silence and my family never understood my erratic behaviour, until now. Honesty has made your existence worth nothing. You have no hold over me now. I am taking control of my mind. It’s mine, not yours.

I cut friends out of my life, partly due to the fears you poured into my head. I might have outgrown these friends anyway, but we will never know now. 

open letter to my anxiety

Being in a better place mentally is wonderful and I finally feel free. On the other hand, it brings with it hindsight and looking over past decisions I’ve made. Your hold over me tarnished my life and stopped me from achieving some goals. Again, maybe these achievements were meant for me and maybe they were not.

Luckily, I am a strong-minded person. Therefore, I achieved my main goals in life. I got a degree, I had a career and I now have a wonderful husband and baby girl. To clarify, your presence made each of these tasks excruciating and painful to bear. It was difficult to get through each one of these achievements, but I did it, all whilst you lingered in the shadows, dragging me down.

I acted irrationally during what should have been the happiest times of my life. I saw situations through a negative lens because of you polluting my thoughts. I genuinely thought I was worthless, inadequate, not good enough to achieve my goals, be a good friend, wife, or mother. You made me believe I was nothing.

You made me spend years soul-searching, lost, lonely, and not knowing which direction to go in. Thankfully, my intuition is on point and I have my angels looking over me! Despite your poison, some higher power was guiding me through life, looking out for me.

I’ve already said goodbye to your ugly, negative vibes and gradually made progress in my recovery over the last few months. This letter is to cement this idea. To finally tell you to go away. You are being replaced with positive thoughts only and if you do creep back in, it won’t be for long. My toolbox of strategies will ensure you are quickly eradicated. Exterminated, gone!

Anxiety, you have been evicted. Banished to a locked box in a dark cave, so you can’t infect anyone else. I will never need you again. Stay locked away and allow me to reach my full potential in life. 

Goodbye…

I hope you liked my post…

If you are impacted by any of the issues raised in this blog post, you can seek support here.

You can also read more about my mental health journey here.

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