All right, who made up routines, and why were they imposed upon us?? Relaxing our routine was the best thing I did!
I get that some people need routine and this is fine if it’s what motivates you. I will probably be in need of a routine when I return to work, but for now, it’s time to not be so stringent. It’s time to relax and try a different way. We want to be less stressed as a family and I can change this by making a few adjustments.
Following a string of events: depression and anxiety throughout my pregnancy, the pandemic, working from home, a toxic work environment due to impending redundancy. I’d had enough of my old way of doing life. It wasn’t working, and it was time for a change. After this series of events, it isn’t surprising I eventually had a mental breakdown. A person can only take so much before reaching a breaking point.
Personally, I’ve spent at least 15 years working my backside off, not having enough time to do anything and generally being stressed and anxious most of the time.
It was time for a change! Relaxing our routine was the only way forward.
The science behind routine…
Whilst there are a lot of articles out there discussing the benefits of keeping to a routine, there are also a lot discussing why it doesn’t work for some people. This article discusses the difference between a habit and a routine. Was it the case that I had picked up bad habits during my anxiety-fuelled years?
Regardless of the reason behind relaxing our routine and why it needed to happen, I decided it was time for a change.
Following a string of events: depression and anxiety throughout my pregnancy, the pandemic, working from home, a toxic work environment due to impending redundancy. I’d had enough of my old way of doing life. It wasn’t working, and it was time for a change. After this series of events, it isn’t surprising I eventually had a mental breakdown. A person can only take so much before reaching a breaking point.
Because I was at rock bottom, what did I have to lose by changing the way we do things? Why not throw out our routine completely?
Baby routines
When our little one was a baby, we tried sleep routines, googling techniques, took advice from other parents. Despite this, she’s strong-willed and basically does what she wants!
She also lived her early years through the pandemic. A period of time in which all of our usual routines were turned upside down, taken away, or possibly changed forever. Children are resilient and as much as I worried about what impact the pandemic would have on her, it appeared to have none (I realise some children were impacted by the pandemic and it has greatly affected some people’s mental health).
What prompted me to change things
Relaxing our routine wasn’t easy. We have a hectic schedule, like any other family with a feisty toddler running around. Given our individual circumstances: me off work recovering from a breakdown (the hubby sprained his foot during this time also and had to recover), and our baby girl needing a break from me rushing her out of the door to value a job which ate my soul each day, I made the executive decision to break all family routines.
Routine, it’s time for us to have a break from each other… Maybe when I need you back, we can be friends again…
How relaxing our routine transformed our lives
In this new world of pleasing ourselves, we had a sleep-in when we wanted, I emailed the nursery to let them know we would be slightly late. I felt able to recover, finally, due to prioritising my rest. Who really cares if we do the nursery drop at 9.30 am instead of 8 am – nobody!
Why do we as human beings put so much pressure on ourselves to meet deadlines, run around in stress mode? Do we feel busier and more important because we are so strict with ourselves?
During our hiatus from routine, if I wanted to write on Google docs on my phone in bed late at night, that’s what I did. If I wanted to stay up until 2 am extracting ideas from my head, because this is the time I was the most creative, this is what I did.
The cleaning took a back burner. When I say took a back burner I mean, I went from a clean freak to probably completing the same level of cleaning as other normal people. I was finally one of those people, where if the dishes at the side of the dishwasher piled up, it wasn’t such a bad thing.
Moving forward
Now I’m further down the line in the process of my recovery from a mental breakdown, it might be time to start introducing some basic routines again, but slowly.
And to be honest, I don’t think I will ever adopt such stringent routines as the ones in my old life. They held me back, cut me off from thriving, and were created out of self-limiting beliefs.
In line with carving out a new, healthier path, there needs to be new rules and routines to abide by. After all, I am a different person now.
I loved this. Definitely always see posts about the significance of keeping a routine but there is positive in being relaxed about it too. Thank you for sharing!
It’s all about balance. We have a loose routine, but sometimes you just have to completely ditch it in order to be happy.
Really interesting post! I do love a routine but sometimes I find it drags me down and makes me miserable where I just want to do SOMETHING ELSE. I feel like my routine has been a bit more relaxed these last few months though
It’s a fine line, isn’t it? I see how routine helps in some circumstances, but I had no choice but to ditch it. The old routine was based on work schedules and stress, which was no good for our family. Time to create new, healthy routines.
The only routine I use regularly is my going to bed and getting out of bed routine. It’s good to get a break from your other routines
I totally agree with this. It’s nice to feel free from routine!
I am a very busy but I need to learn to relax my routine. This is a great reminder. Thank you for sharing.
There is nothing wrong with relaxing the routine. Take some time to do that 🙂
I can’t live without some sort of structure in my day, but I agree that it shouldn’t be so rigid. We are here to enjoy life – something I forget a lot x
You will need some structure at the moment, with University. But we must make time to enjoy life. It’s difficult to remember when life is just so hectic and sometimes depressing at the moment.
Hope you’re ok xx
As a college student, even i benefitted from this post. Thank you! I appreciate the section about the science behind routine!
I am glad you benefitted from this post.
Because I had always had routines in the past, I wanted to understand the science behind them.
It has been lovely relaxing it, but we will now need some sort of healthy routine.
This is a great post! When I was younger, my mom always made sure to keep us on a routine, which helped not when it came to our health and wellbeing. I hope to relax my routine too.
I hope you can relax your routine too. It takes work, but sometimes it must be done!
When my son was younger, I had to have a routine. Otherwise, nothing was going to happen, but now he’s an adult; I just do my own thing, and a routine has gone out of the window; it suits my mental health at the moment.
I totally agree with having a little one and needing a routine.
I am glad you feel better for throwing routine out of the window. We must do what’s best for our mental health!
I love a routine, but I absolutely think that we try to pack so much into our routines that we end up burnt out. It’s really great that you’ve managed to relax your routine, and I aspire to do the same!
Exactly – routines can sometimes lead to burnout and my old one clearly was not working.
I hope you can relax your routine 🙂