Tips On How To Live Your Best – Most Positive Life

GUEST POST – Author Bio – Tips on living Live Your Best – Most Positive Life

Hello from me, my blog is GAWD, Generalised Anxiety and Worry Diaries.

On the surface, I’m your average forty-something mum, with two kids, a husband, and a dog. Giving off the impression that life is effortless. But scratch that surface and you’ll find that I’m harbouring a secret power, I am in fact –  Super Anxious Brummie Mummy! It’s a title I take very seriously. I can spend hours agonising over the stupidest of things. I meal-plan weeks in advance, make endless lists, set thousands of reminders, and have online shops booked in for over a month. Super anxious mum has all bases covered, she’s got fingers in every anxiety-inducing pie.

GAWD is a place where I serve you up some regular ramblings from me and my bonkers, anxious brain. Some of it is not that easy to stomach, gawd no. Some bites could give the Norovirus a run for its money. Some of you will relate, some of you will laugh out loud, and I’m guessing that some of you will run for the hills. But that’s what it’s all about. Having those difficult conversations, in the hope that those affected, will reach out. I’m a mental health mentor and young person’s mental health advocate. I’m a MSc psychology grad, so I’ll throw in a teeny bit of science into the pot, to help us make sense of things.

Quick note: Some of the links contained on this page are affiliate links and if you go through them to make a purchase, I will earn a commission. I only recommend products I use myself and think would be useful for other people.

Guest post for Mummy Conquering Anxiety © gawd.blog – Tips on living Live Your Best – Most Positive Life

Living our best positive lives?

It’s getting dark by 4.30 pm, the mornings are gothic and misty. The long, hot, sunny days are fading into a distant memory. With winter firmly on the horizon, you’d be forgiven for losing that positive outlook on life. Winter blues are a real thing.  Especially for anxious souls like me. Christmas is coming, the goose is getting fat. Please will someone put a nice big dose of positivity in my bobble hat? Isn’t that how the old rhyme goes?  Well fear not, I have devised a clever strategy to help us all, even the seasonally affected folk, to start feeling that festive cheer and pack away that negative bleurgh. 

Festive? Cheers…

At the time of writing this, I was dusting off the Halloween decorations, getting the sparklers out for bonfire night, and starting to think about the big ‘X’ (festive celebration, starts with X and ends with ‘mas). I don’t know about you, but it kind of feels like the moment that the children go back to school, after the summer holidays, life ramps up ten gears. 

If only it was a slow burn into Autumn, revving up to Christmas. But oh no, it’s stress-o’clock from the get-go.  It’s so busy, it’s like our fixed calendar celebrations and holidays are setting us up for a fail. Then January hits and it’s all quiet on the western front, with only the most depressing day of the year to look forward to. 

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-self-care tips, affirmations, positive quotes, how to thrive in life (I need to remind myself of these daily tips too)

Tips on living Live Your Best – Most Positive Life – CONTINUED

Plus there’s life’s daily demands and those curve snowballs, for instance; navigating the freezing school run, endless amounts of laundry, wardrobe changeover, what to cook for dinner, and salads are officially out. (Not that my kids thought they were in.) 

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My LATEST gift guide – including fall home decor to bring in the season in style! & a few Christmas gifts

It doesn’t help that I gave birth to my children in the Autumn months. I mean, I should have really mapped out the old gestation calendar a bit better. I always say I’m not going mad, we’ll keep the kids’ parties simple. Cut to – headless chicken-style party planning with the end result resembling a Hollywood-esque style, grand affair. Sixteen party favours per bag, bubble teas being produced at a rate of knots, icing cupcakes until two in the morning. I do jest, I love making the kids happy. But I feel like anxiety adds pressure to my plate that’s kind of unhelpful. An inner push-me-pull-me scenario. Is this good enough? Am I good enough? Push, push, push and break.

Bee positive

So short of moving Halloween to January, or home-schooling the kids, (not gonna happen). I feel the need to post some guidelines on how to not lose your mind get through the busiest of seasons and most importantly stay on a positive tip. But what do I mean? You can say “bee positive” and all of those other lovely little phrases, but it’s hard when you’re faced with life’s trials to actually grasp what it means to be and more importantly, stay positive. Sometimes it feels so much easier to focus on the bad things in our lives, you know. Especially those who suffer from anxiety,  spiralling in and out of negative thoughts. And the culprit? I present to you, cortisol. This little firecracker is a chemical in the brain which increases when we’re on a negative tip. It’s the body’s reaction to stress or a threat. 

Walking risk assessments

Negative thoughts are essentially threats to our system. Being prone to negativity is not a new thing for humans. Many moons ago, being on guard and looking out for risks, with high levels of cortisol running through our veins, was essential for survival in an unsafe world. Now we live in a safe(ish) world. Unfortunately, it just so happens that anxiety disorders can make us feel like those poor old cavemen and women. Like we are in imminent danger, every second of every day. 

Anxiety and negativity do have their positives, even in these modern times. Anxious, negative thinkers often catastrophize thoughts and think of the worst-case scenarios, thus avoiding potential drama. We’re able to spot where helpful changes could be made in our lives, so we make great leaders. Negativity could save a life, anxious people make great risk assessors. We’re also fab realists to have around. So make sure you keep us on your Christmas card list.

Life changer

There are times though, that negativity needs to take a back seat. To make way for positivity and raise those levels of dopamine and serotonin – the happy chemicals. It’s not just about being happy-go-lucky little cheeky chappies, it’s so much more than that. Those with optimistic outlooks are said to live healthier, more fruitful, and enjoyable lives. I think one study said that optimistic women live on average 4.4 years longer! 4.4 years folks! There is an indirect relationship between optimism and adopting a healthier lifestyle, thus extending time on this sweet planet. I’ve said it once, I’ll say it again. “Time is our most precious commodity.”

Happy little pictures 

So how do we go about living our best positive lives? I decided that rather than grand red letter day-type positivity excursions. (They were all out of hot air balloon rides in Surrey.) I’d go about identifying the small everyday wins.  I set about conducting a small-scale experiment. To post daily pics on my Instagram. account – Super Anxious Brummie Mummy! What better way to document the small wins than by the power of photography? There’s nothing like an uplifting or funny picture to lift the spirits. Plus those little hits of joy were exactly the bursts of dopamine and serotonin my body needed to counter the negativity.

Now I’m going to lie, it wasn’t easy. Some days I was racking my brain thinking, “What on Earth is a winner from today’s s**t show?” And worse than that, anxiety and cortisol were fighting against my small wins and trying to cloud them with negativity. Brain, why do you test me so?!? On other days, small wins smacked me right in the kisser. They took on exciting new forms, like, finding joy at the loo seat being clean and put down, or watching my dog, a most excellent, furry bullet squirrel chaser. I did some real soul-searching. This process, for me, has really proved that, where there is darkness, there’s also light. Yep, it was also National Poetry Week, I had a go at poetry. I liked it = small win. 

FROM THE MCA BLOG – Books to help you on your positivity journey:

By confronting negativity head-on and finding the positive within a negative, I was adopting the ‘negative bounce’ method. Real bonafide psychologists have coined this fun term, (Tugade, 2004). Also, it turns out that I am not only countering negativity and becoming more positive. I’m building resilience to future negative events. Because guys, headliners –  ‘life is full of these ups and downs.’ 

Tips on Living Live Your Best – Most Positive Life. Other top small wins and negative bounces: 

Bee rescue, I saved a bee from a spiderweb. This is even after my unfortunate encounter in the summer, where one travelled up my trouser leg and stung me twice! Overcoming fears and wildlife rescue. I mean, it’s all there, right?

Not lost my stuff because a coffee pot lid had been left off, so when I went to use it it fell open and sprayed coffee everywhere. I laughed. That is a small win right there. (Big win for others in my house you might argue.)

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Celebration that I can keep a plant alive, not just any old plant. My child’s bonsai tree is notoriously difficult to care for. Small win. I would move that to big wins, but let’s see if it’s still alive in a few months.

Capturing a very large spider in a glass and setting it free. I’m petrified of the hairy beasts. But the kids were fascinated and we had fun looking at its gorgeous fangs… We named him Derek Gordon. (8-year-old son’s choice.)

And do you know looking back and seeing all of those small wins documented, is an affirmation that I am ok. I’m happy with my lot. In future, when someone is asking me to “Bee positive ” I’ve a good mind to tell them to “buzz off!” I’m doing just fine without a winged stinger of a phrase to keep my chin up. I am, of course, joking, who doesn’t love a little positivity meme? I’m just trying to drum home that positivity is in the eye of the beholder. But do remember negativity has its place, it’s how we manage stressful situations and protect ourselves. It’s learning how best to bat those thoughts away when they become unhelpful, that’s the key. Right, back to Instagram. 

TTFN.

A final word from MCA founder, Sam:

I hope you enjoyed reading this fab guest post – Tips on living Live Your Best – Most Positive Life

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