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As our parents age, navigating the emotional, practical, and financial changes that come with this transition can be difficult. It’s natural to want to avoid thinking about our loved ones growing older, but planning can ease the challenges that arise and help ensure they receive the best care. Here’s how you can prepare for and cope with this life stage.
One of the most important steps is to start discussions about ageing while your parents are still relatively healthy. It may feel uncomfortable initially, but having open and honest conversations about their wishes can prevent misunderstandings later. Discuss topics such as their preferences for healthcare, living arrangements, and how they want to be cared for in the event of serious illness. It’s also important to talk about their financial situation, including savings, pensions, and any outstanding debts.
These discussions will allow you to respect their wishes and make informed decisions when the time comes. Your parents may also feel more at ease knowing that their preferences are understood.
Understand Their Healthcare Needs
As parents age, their healthcare needs often increase. From managing medications to attending more frequent doctor’s appointments, it’s important to stay informed about their medical conditions. Make a list of any medications they take and understand the purpose of each one. If necessary, help coordinate appointments and keep records of test results and treatments. Additionally, you may want to explore options such as home care or assisted living if your parents require more help than you can provide.
Prepare Legal and Financial Documents
Ensuring all legal and financial documents are in order is crucial for preventing future stress. This may involve helping your parents create or update important documents such as their will, power of attorney, and advance care directive. A power of attorney gives someone the authority to make decisions on their behalf if they are unable to do so, while an advance care directive outlines their wishes for medical treatment.
You should also discuss their funeral arrangements. It may be a sensitive subject, but making plans in advance – such as selecting a funeral director and considering what kind of service they would like – can be a huge relief for both you and your parents when the time comes.
Look After Your Own Wellbeing
Caring for ageing parents can be emotionally and physically exhausting, so it’s important to take care of your well-being as well. Make sure you take time to rest and don’t hesitate to seek support from friends, family, or professionals. Support groups for carers can be a great resource, providing not only practical advice but also a sense of community.
Balance is key; while your parents may need more of your time and energy, it’s essential to maintain your own hobbies, relationships, and self-care routines to prevent burnout.
Final Thoughts
Facing the reality of our parents getting older can be challenging, but planning ahead ensures that we are better equipped to handle whatever the future may bring. Open conversations, understanding healthcare needs, preparing legal documents, and looking after our well-being will make this life stage more manageable. Most importantly, cherish the time you have and ensure that your parents feel valued and cared for as they age.
My blog is all about never judging any other parent. We are not perfect. Research has proven human beings react in a certain way, to conflict. It’s an automatic process and sometimes we can’t help it! However, reacting in anger isn’t helpful in the moment.
Our small humans need us to be emotional support. They need us to be more emotionally intelligent, so we can set a great example of how to manage our emotions.
However, I know very well, parenting is the hardest job in the world. If you follow me on TikTok you will see that I try to make light of the situation and use humour to get through the difficult days.
Quick note: Some of the links contained on this page are affiliate links and if you go through them to make a purchase, I will earn a commission. I only recommend products I use myself and think would be useful for other people.
What is gentle parenting?
The goal of gentle parenting is to raise confident, independent and happy children through empathy, respect and understanding, and setting healthy boundaries. This parenting style focuses largely on age-appropriate development.
Some people misunderstand gentle parenting and believe it is too soft as a parenting technique. It’s important to say that as a family, we enforce boundaries. We do also use some rewards, but never punishment. Recently we’ve started adopting natural consequences instead of punishment.
Gentle parenting does not equal a lack of boundaries – quite the opposite. We explain why there are boundaries and use the lessons we’ve taught her, to enforce why we will not tolerate certain behaviour.
The reality of gentle parenting
Gentle parenting isn’t easy. It takes time to become conscious of your reactions – but seeing the results of an emotionally intelligent child is worth it.
If you’re considering implementing gentle parenting, or elements of it like we do. I wanted to let you know about some of the benefits we have experienced since implementing this parenting method.
Let’s dive into the benefits we’ve experienced
We have a very polite child
Since being a baby, we’ve taught my little one to say please and thank you.
At four years old, she now thanks me for simple tasks like getting her cereal in the morning. It’s a genuine, heartfelt thank you. Simply because she’s been shown the reason why we need to be polite.
Everything we teach her is explained in a way she is able to understand. Rather than telling her what to do, it’s a collaborative conversation. You will always hear us asking her whether she understands. And we talk more if she doesn’t.
It’s important for children to understand the consequences of their behaviour and ultimately, be able to eventually regulate emotions by themselves. I won’t be there on her first day of school, or for her first job interview – you have to think about preparing a child for life’s challenges.
Ask yourself – how do I want my children to act and cope in future life situations that could be stressful?
She talks about her feelings & is in tune with other people’s feelings
Because we talk about our emotions and we are honest about the reasons when we do argue (newsflash – all adults argue at some point& sometimes, it’s inevitably in front of children). She, therefore, understands that even adults face situations where something can anger and upset them. That this is okay. And it’s good to talk about how we are feeling when this happens.
When she is experiencing a certain emotion or challenge, we regularly empathise and explain adults also feel this way. Or relate to something we went through as a child.
She regularly comes to me and explains something is wrong. Granted, at four years old, she says things like “I have a sicky tummy” when she’s nervous about the nursery, or feeling tired. But it’s enough for me to know as a parent, that more conversation is needed.
When I was going through my mental breakdown, she was only a baby. But she knew something was wrong and would comfort me.
We now witness this kinder side when she’s in the playground and a baby is upset. She will go over to the parent and child, in a concerned manner, and wait patiently until the baby is okay. It’s really lovely to watch.
Being taught to be kind and caring has helped, but actually being shown that by everyone around her models this behaviour, is a more powerful tool.
She apologises when shes aware of doing something wrong
When a child is in the middle of a meltdown and making no sense, there is no point in having a conversation. It just will not be productive. The same applies to adults. As an adult, you would walk away from a heated conversation. Therefore, it baffles me that some parents believe anger and harsh discipline is appropriate in these situations – surely it’s just unproductive at that moment in time. No progress can be made when a human being is in fight or flight mode.
As parents, we allow the meltdown to pass. We openly tell her, we will talk when she’s calmer and let her walk away. Usually to her bedroom. Within 10 minutes she comes back to us to give a heartfelt apology. And we all talk about why the behaviour wasn’t helpful. Then we make a point of moving on, by saying “Nothing more will be said about it“. We never dwell on it. We move on.
She is independent
As part of our gentle parenting journey, we allow as many choices as we safely can for our toddler.
She is a very independent child by nature. And rather than fight a battle on menial topics, it’s easier to allow as many small choices as we can. The ones we use frequently, involve a choice of dilute juice, and breakfast options and we also allow her to choose her own snacks from the fridge.
When we go out for the day, this extends to more varied options. And when we can, she is allowed to run free and actually be a child.
The amazing thing is, that having allowed choices, she now asks me before she makes any of them. In our case, allowing choices means we get cooperation and communication in return.
Final thoughts
I hope you enjoyed reading about our experiences with gentle parenting.
Are you a gentle parent? do you have any tips for us? or do you use other parenting techniques?
I would love to hear from you in the comments below.
Resources – if you want to get started on your gentle parenting journey:
#duet with @Andrew Shaw | Executive Coach #toddlertantrum Wise words! I will never judge any #parent – we are #notperfect & human beings react in a certain way, to conflict. It’s an automatic process & sometimes we can’t help it! However, this isn’t helpful in the moment. Our small humans NEED us to be an #emotional support ❤️ it takes time to become concious of your reactions – but seeing the results of an #emotionallyintelligent child is worth it! #parents#parenting#mums#mumlife#gentleparenting
According to the Word Health Organisation, approximately 16% of adults aged 60 and above suffer from a mental health disorder. In most cases, depression, anxiety disorders, dementia, and isolation are the most common issues. Caring for an elderly parent with mental health problems can be challenging and emotionally demanding, often requiring unique skills and support systems. Fortunately, the following tips can make the task easier.
Prepare yourself for the emotional aspect
Caring for an elderly parent is hard enough, but the difficulty level is higher when your ageing loved one has mental health issues. Of course, you love your parent, but other emotions can hinder you from providing the care they need. The most common things you may have to deal with r are worry, anger, frustration, and helplessness. All these are common; experiencing them does not make you a bad caregiver. Preparing yourself for these emotions can help you develop helpful ways to address them.
Monitor their movement
Available data shows that about 53,337 were detained under the Mental Health Act from 2001 to 2002. Older people also fall victim to such detentions when they have mental health issues. Don’t be surprised by how easily your elderly parent can slip out of the house and wander around. The last thing you want is to receive a call that they have been detained under the Mental Health Act.
So, always ensure you always have extra eyes on your ageing loved one. And in case of any detention, you can seek legal assistance, depending on where you live. For example, if you live in Sheffield, you can run an online search for ‘local solicitors Sheffield‘ to find legal experts near you. But make sure they have expertise in mental health cases.
Schedule regular medical visits
You’ll need all the professional help you can get, starting with regular medical visits. Your doctor will perform regular diagnoses and prescribe new treatments when necessary. You’ll also receive tips on how to care for your elderly parent and help them get better. Aside from visiting a doctor, work with therapists to help them learn how to cope with any underlying issues responsible for their poor mental health. You can also hire trained nurses or caregivers to provide home care and ease the burden of responsibility on your shoulders.
Educate yourself
It’s almost impossible to care for an ageing parent if you don’t know or understand what mental health challenges they’re dealing with. So, take the time to educate yourself about it. Understand its symptoms, triggers, and treatment options. This way, you can anticipate and address their unique needs. You can also contact support groups and find resources online.
Open, clear, and honest communication are crucial when caring for an ageing loved one with mental health issues. Speak calmly and do your best to ensure that you understand them and that they understand you. Also, encourage your parent to express their thoughts and feelings and actively listen without judging them. They might also need a safe and non-threatening environment, making them comfortable to open up or discuss their concerns. Being harsh, rude, disrespectful, or aggressive will only make your parents withdraw in fear and choose not to communicate.
When you’re a mum, your whole world revolves around your kids. You want to keep them safe and happy at all times, which can sometimes be a challenge, especially regarding home safety. There are so many things to think about! This blog post will give you some essential tips for keeping your child safe at home. We’ll cover everything from fires and falls to poisoning and electricity. So read on, and conquer those anxiety demons – your little one will be safe and sound!
Tip 1) Fires:
Install smoke alarms and fire extinguishers on each floor of your house, and make sure to check them regularly. Keep all flammable materials away from heat sources such as stoves or radiators. If you have a fireplace, buy a protective mesh gate and keep the area around it clear of debris.
Tip 2) Falls:
Baby-proof your home by covering sharp corners with bumpers, installing safety gates at stairs, and installing locks on kitchen cabinets containing hazardous items. Also, make sure no small objects like coins or marbles are lying around where curious fingers can get to them.
Tip 3) Poisoning:
Keep medications, cleaning supplies, and other potentially poisonous substances locked away in a secure location, preferably up high out of reach. Be sure to label all containers properly and dispose of expired medicines correctly.
Tip 4) Electricity:
Cover unused electrical outlets with plastic guards and make sure that barely used appliances are unplugged when not in use. Teach your children the dangers of electricity by explaining why they cannot touch exposed wires or put objects into wall sockets.
Tip 5) Health Risks:
Purchase a good first aid kit and keep it in an easily accessible place. Make sure you know where to find the emergency numbers for your local doctor and hospital, as well as the Poison Control Center. Keep up to date on vaccinations and checkups for your child, too.
Tip 6) Cleaning:
Cleaning and maintaining a safe home can be challenging, especially with small children running around. To help you stay on top of this task, make sure to vacuum regularly, clean up spills immediately, wash bedding frequently, and replace worn carpets or rugs. Be sure to get vertical blind cleaning tools to get in those hard-to-reach spots.
Tip 7) Sanity:
Taking care of yourself is just as important as keeping your little one safe. Make sure to get plenty of rest, exercise regularly, and take some time for yourself each day. This can help reduce stress and anxiety, leaving you more alert and prepared to handle any safety issues that arise.
Children are our most precious gifts, and ensuring that their homes are safe and secure is essential. By following these home safety tips, you can help reduce the risk of accidents or injuries in your child’s environment so they can grow up happy and healthy. Don’t forget to take a few moments each day – you deserve it!
One minute you are a child, and the next, you are a grown adult with many responsibilities weighing on your shoulders! One of the challenging tasks you might face as an adult is learning to care for ageing parents while trying to have a successful career and build your own family. With a staggering 79% of adults feeling stressed at least once a month, how are you possibly going to find the perfect balance? Striking a balance might seem like a distant dream to you and many others. However, these tips will help you find a routine that works for you and your family.
Set your priorities and develop a plan
It’s easy to get overwhelmed when juggling your work with caring for your family and elderly parents. However, before you begin to panic, it’s always better to create an action plan. There are many things you must consider. Do your parents have regular doctor’s appointments? What errands do you need to run for your home and theirs? You can write down all these tasks and try to visualise everything to help you organise better.
Once you’ve created a schedule, it will be easier to know what you have to prepare for. Thanks to modern technology, you can even set reminders to all parties involved to keep them abreast with plans and schedules. If you have other siblings or relatives to help, you can all sync your calendars to know who is responsible for what task and when.
Speak to your employer
It can be hard finding the perfect balance between being a dedicated worker and a dedicated child. Given how busy work environments can get, it does affect how often you get to connect with your elderly parents. If you’re in such a situation, a good way to solve it is by talking openly with your employer to find a more manageable solution.
Ask your employer if it’s possible to adjust your working hours or if remote working options are available to give you more flexibility. Sometimes, having these conversations can be nerve-wracking. A good way to prepare is by listing out your primary duties and how you intend to make these adjustments work for you and your employer.
Hire a caregiver
It would be better to hire a domiciliary caregiver in certain instances where you can’t care for your elderly parents. You should consider this option because instead of placing your parents in a home, you can have them cared for right in the comfort of their homes, giving them a sense of belonging. Depending on what services you require, a home caregiver can perform various tasks, including ensuring your parents take their medicines regularly and providing light housekeeping services. Apart from medical care, they also provide companionship to your elderly parents.
Your parents’ health and care matters, so you must research thoroughly to find the best home care possible if you are considering this option. A qualified caregiver must not only have a good reputation but should have also completed the mandatory training for domiciliary care to be qualified to care for your parents.
Make time for yourself
It’s easy to lose yourself when trying to care for your parents while balancing work. However, you must set time aside for self-care. You can take care of yourself by exercising to release stress and eat well. Learn how to take breaks at work and home to clear your mind and relax.
If you feel the strain or are at risk of burning out, don’t be embarrassed to ask for help from your friends and family. They can watch your parents so you can take some time to unwind and get back into a routine. It also helps to talk to a professional or a trusted friend about how you are feeling. Sometimes, talking about what stresses you out is a good way to vent your frustrations.
Involve your kids
If you have kids, you probably know how fond they are of their grandparents and vice versa. Your parents will love spending time with their grandchildren, and talking and bonding with them will improve their mental health and make them healthier. And if you have older kids, you can ask them to help you whenever you are in a tight bind.
Caring for your parents while juggling work and other important aspects of your life can take a toll on you. Fortunately, these tips will help you find the right balance to get things under control and help you give your parents the best life possible.
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