7 crucial steps I took to gradually recover from my breakdown

Recovery from my breakdown was not an easy task. Previously I viewed self-care as selfish. I would be doing something (watching TV in bed or taking a bath) and thinking this is selfish, I need to be doing something more productive. 

Even in my self-care moments, I was overthinking. Not living in the moment and taking time to recharge, but thinking about the long list of things that needed to be done. Constantly questioning how efficient it was to be taking self-care moments instead of focusing on a more productive task. Madness I know. 

The pandemic and my breakdown taught me self-care is ABSOLUTELY ESSENTIAL. In order to function in life, you have to recharge your batteries, and you must look after yourself. You cannot run on empty and if you try to, you will soon get to breaking point. 

One day at a time. Suffering from anxiety & depression really is like this. One day you feel not too bad and the next morning, you are back to square one again. You can have a lovely, productive, semi-stress-free morning and it can all turn upside down in the afternoon. It’s a constant battle to heal from rock bottom.

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These are the seven activities that helped pull me out of the fog:

Lets get started…

1. Baths

A long hot soak with my luxury bathing products. This set is amazing. When I was in the midst of anxiety-filled days, this really helped de-stress me, just a little. To settle me down, and ease the worrying for a short period of time.

It also relaxed me. I was taking a lot of naps at the time, because the anxiety and overthinking constantly, was so draining. Sleeping makes it all go away for a while and is essential to recovery. Whilst I needed to sleep in order to recover, it’s difficult to settle down when your brain is always switched on, and wearing itself out with ridiculous, but very valid thoughts and feelings.

The bath relaxed me enough to take a nap. To finally switch my mind off for a bit.

2. Do something outside of your usual routine

To recover from my breakdown the doctor suggested doing something each day outside my normal routine. Especially because I had gone from working full time to now having to find activities (as well as setting aside time to heal).

These were some of the things I did:

• Sitting in the park – watching the world go by, meeting the same dog walkers each day, looking at wildlife, and getting some sunshine. All these things are great for the soul, but I never had time to do them previously (at least that’s what the anxiety told me!)

This podcast is amazing. I get my daily dose whilst sitting in the sunshine!

• Walking a different route home – I am usually a habitual person and tend to keep the same consistent routine. Doing a small thing in a different way, retrains your brain to new pathways and ways of viewing the world. Everyday during my recovery, I would walk a different way home, notice different things and feel free for doing one task differently. It was sticking two fingers up to the anxiety, because it previously told me to do things in a certain order
• Doing tasks in a different order – when cleaning, I made small changes to the routine, even split the cleaning over two days or missed some out (for me this is a BIG thing). My anxiety would usually tell me, all the cleaning must be done now, people are visiting, we can’t have a dirty house – it’s a lot of pressure to live up to. Doing things differently can retrain your thoughts

Want more useful tips for activities to try…

Whilst we are on the subject, I have to admit I also get excited by these cleaning products, they smell amazing.

• Sitting in the sunshine – having mainly office jobs in my career, my time sitting in the sunshine was very limited. It was nice to use a lovely sunny day to recover. It definitely makes you feel better
• Spending time with friends & family – I had always done this previously, but now they were aware of my situation, as I shared the struggles I’d experienced over many years. This changed the dynamic and allowed people to help me heal. Letting people in does help your recovery, as they start to understand why you behave the way you do and the daily struggles you face
• Learning – I’ve always loved learning new things. We watch a lot of documentaries in our house & both have degrees (we mainly loved the university lifestyle, meeting people and learning – also the crazy party days!). We still have a passion for learning & exploring. Starting this blog helped me vent and gave me many new learning opportunites

I love taking free or cheap online courses. These are some of the websites I’ve used in the past:

Eventbrite – they have free online workshops and if you miss the actual event, they email you the details so you can soak up the information at a later date

Centre Of Excellence – a range of cheap courses, particularly in areas of self-care and mindfulness

Daily OM – The beauty of their courses is you can choose an amount to pay. This makes learning affordable for you. The courses are also easy to navigate and interesting to work through

Future Learn – a range of courses in a wide range of subjects (some are free)

OpenLearn – this is one I haven’t yet tried, but I have it saved in my favourites. If anyone has done their courses, let me know below

Writing this blog post has inspired me to finish all those half-done courses!

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Retrain your brain

Retraining my brain certainly helped me recover from my breakdown. I’ve worked very hard to replace my negative thoughts with positive ones.

The science behind neuroplasticity suggests retraining your brain really is a thing! How exciting, we can essentially undo negative behaviours and teach ourselves to do things differently.

I’ve previously attended training covering neuro-linguistic programming (NLP), mindfulness, and hypnotherapy with this guy and it’s fantastic. Here is the website, have a look at the courses if you want to learn more.

3. Walking

In my past life, I ran two 10k races for charity and several other 5K ones, including wading through mud!

I raised money for Cancer Research UK, Macmillan Cancer Support & Bliss.

These days I don’t do much running, but walking makes me feel fit & healthy. It also allows me to be out in the fresh air and it clears my mind. During the pandemic, it was difficult to keep up with any sort of walking routine, and I think this had an impact on many people. Doing the nursery drop, walking to the shop, any form of walking will take you out of your head for a little while and make you feel better.

You can do this…

Even in those moments when you’re recovering and don’t feel like doing it, try and get out there. Once you do it, you’ll feel a little better.

Because I was at such a low point, I almost had to force myself. I had a default mindset – doing something must be better than moping around. It can’t get any worse when you’re at rock bottom already.

Exercise does help mental health and my plan is to maintain some form of exercise regularly every week. I don’t know what that will look like yet, but I am putting plans in place to reduce a relapse (I could be a yoga master in future, who knows – watch this space).

4. Going out with friends

The joy of having a girly chat, over wine, with someone who understands and supports you. We all need it. Especially as I am now surrounding myself with positive, like-minded people. These people understanding if I cancel plans last minute or I’m feeling too exhausted.

These positive connections massively helped me recover from my breakdown and it’s something I intend to continue, however hectic life may get. You have to find time for these essential activities. 

5. Being kind and not judging 

• Be kind to yourself – since my breakdown, I’ve made a point of thinking positive thoughts and not letting the anxiety self-talk impact me as much (easier said than done sometimes)
• Be kind to others – I’ve always tried to make time for charity & volunteering and its something I would love to get back into. I am also more open to making connections with random strangers, something I would previously shy away from
• Don’t judge – other people may look put together from the outside, (my family & friends didn’t even know I had anxiety issues and how severe they were) but everyone is facing their own struggles. Anxiety sometimes makes you judge others, as a defence mechanism –  it’s another irrational aspect of anxiety. Being open to other people is something that helped my recovery. Human beings are built to make connections, not shy away from one another

6. Positive self-talk

It really is a thing! When I suffer the impact of high anxiety levels, this usually involves me telling myself negative thoughts over & over again, until they become a reality. Although I have no control over this at the time, you can see how damaging it can be. 

Focusing on the positive aspects of life and repeating positive mantras, out loud, or in my head has helped. I am consciously not allowing negative, self-doubt thoughts to creep in.

In all honesty, it isn’t about eliminating these thoughts (I don’t think I will ever achieve this), but recognising when they come along and doing something about it.

I’ve had this workbook and the I am here now journal for a while now. I love working through these books when I don’t feel great, but I intend to start doing it as part of my weekly routine. I’ve just added this workbook to my Amazon wishlist.

7. Creativity

Since starting this blog, I have had something positive to focus on each day. I can create, share, get my thoughts out, and have a goal in mind. All of these aspects are helping my recovery. 

Recovering from my breakdown isn’t easy and in the early days, I struggled to get anything done. But using my brain creatively has helped me.

I recently had a discussion about how child-like activities can help adults suffering from mental health conditions. I noticed any activity I did with my little girl, whether it be painting, drawing, making crafts, relaxed me and I would often continue the activity after she got bored and moved on to the next thing. I then wrote a blog post all about it.

Final thoughts 

I hope you’ve enjoyed reading. If you have, please feel free to leave a comment. If you have any useful tips to recover from a breakdown, please share them below. I would love to hear from you

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