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mummyconqueringanxiety
I am mummy to one feisty toddler and wife to a wonderful man, living in the North of England, UK and making it a priority to enjoy life every second we get to spend together as a family.
You will usually find me writing, anything from lists to blog posts, and excited by stationery - show me your post-its!
Following my recent breakdown, I believe talking about our struggles is the key to recovery. I started the blog because I felt compelled to share my story & my main goal is to help other people.
I love that Etsy has a gift mode section, where you can look at specific gifts based on the interests of the person you are buying for.
Quick note: Some of the links contained on this page are affiliate links and if you go through them to make a purchase, I will earn a commission. I only recommend products I use myself and think would be useful for other people.
Occasions coming up
With World Book Day, Mother’s Day, Ramadan & Easter on the horizon – it’s the perfect time to run through the wonderful gifts available on Etsy.
A collection of calm items for your tranquil peacekeeper – I think I might look in this section for myself
The reviews also look great. I always check out reviews before I purchase a product and on the Etsy platform, they are easy to access and look through. You can also find details about how many other people have purchased this product.
I still love our wooden play toys. Even though my little one is almost 5 years old – she still loves playing in her wooden kitchen, with her food items. The wood ones last the longest and they just look so beautiful.
Maybe you want an Easter gift with a difference. And to avoid giving the little one too much choccy?
Such a cute T-shirt for the little person in your life.
Someone who loves science – making and creating things. We have a creative child who loves to make things.
Funny Story about gifting
Do you have a funny story about gifting? Let me know yours in the comments.
MY STORY – I was 18 years old and my first boyfriend – first love – was staying over at our house. It was around my birthday and Valentine’s Day. The doorbell rang and a massive bunch of red roses was delivered. You can imagine the excitement.
Both my mum and I neglected to look at the card which came with the package. And assumed my boyfriend at the time had ordered these flowers (looking back, he wouldn’t have even known how to and it didn’t seem like something he would do).
We proceeded to thank my then-boyfriend, who was proclaiming he hadn’t ordered any flowers and it wasn’t him. As you can imagine, this awkwardly went on for a while and he was becoming more and more embarrassed.
I was feeling a range of emotions, mostly anger as to why he hadn’t thought to send me flowers. Haha – poor guy.
Anyway, we opened the card and they were from a magazine competition I had entered (I NEVER win competitions).
Whilst I was thankful for the amazing red roses, the embarrassment of the situation took a while to get over!
Final Thoughts
I hope you enjoyed reading my hilarious gifting story – we all have one.
And I hope you’ve found some inspiration for your gifting needs.
Need more gifting inspiration – check out all my gift guides here
In the lead-up to the weekend, I always seem to be on my phone researching the best places to take my little one. She is a recent school starter, full of energy and needs entertaining. Don’t even get me started on school holiday entertainment plans.
It’s that time of year, when I am looking forward to warmer weather and planning lots of family days out, to enjoy throughout the year. If you are doing the same, be sure to check out this great list of attractions. It’s always great to have something to look forward to!
The purpose of my new page FAMILY DAYS OUT – is to help other families find great attractions to visit -without researching them. Want to be featured? Feel free to contact me and check out more details here.
Quick note: Some of the links contained on this page are affiliate links and if you go through them to make a purchase, I will earn a commission. I only recommend products I use myself and think would be useful for other people.
Images are taken from the affiliated websites
Let’s dive into my list of the Merlin Attractions To Visit With The Kids
Merlin Passes
You can book more than one adventure and save money! With annual passes starting from £99 per person, for over 200 Days of Entry (please do view the small print on the passes to ensure this fits with your circumstances).
Unlock access to the UK’s BIGGEST and best attractions for the smallest price
When visiting an attraction or theme park, it’s always great to stay overnight so you have more access to the array of things to do. Let’s have a look at Merlin Entertainments and their great offers – if you are considering visiting the theme parks anyway.
Short Breaks Offer – 2nd Day Free –
Add your 2nd Day in the Theme Park for Free when you book a Short Break
With an array of thrilling rides, a beach, a playground and rides for little kids – you will be guaranteed a fun-packed day out. Your short break booking includes two full days of theme park thrills!
Here are some tips if you’re visiting the park –
1. Check your height before you start the day, to ensure you know which rides you can go on.
2. Bring zip-lock sandwich bags or waterproof bags for your electronics – whilst on water rides.
3. Bring spare clothes in case you get a bit too carried away on the water rides.
4. Change into flip-flops when riding water rides – no need to worry about ruining your trainers!
6. Bring lots of water! You never know how long the queues will be.
7. Want to beat the queues? Head over to Nemesis Inferno & SAW first thing and work your way around the park from there. There are fewer queues at the back of the park at the start of the day and you’ll find yourself working against the crowds all day!
Days out
Shall we look at some of the other Merlin Attractions in more detail?
Nemesis Reborn Has Arrived!Opening Saturday 16th March 2024
Nemesis Reborn invites the bravest of thrill-seekers to tackle dominating drops and intense inversions aboard the ride. The Phalanx have lost all strength and now it’s your turn to encounter this terrifying creature.
Located in Birmingham, at the NEC. There is an array of activities for your adventurous kids. Including – indoor climbing walls, archery range, iFLY wind tunnel and escape rooms.
Join Freddo and a whole host of Cadbury characters as they whisk you away on an adventurous journey in the 4D Chocolate Adventure cinema experience, complete with motion seats!
Discover the origins of the cocoa bean and jump on the magical Cadabra ride. Seen the adverts? You will also get to meet the infamous Cadbury drumming gorilla.
Scarborough SEA LIFE Sanctuary is a unique indoor and outdoor attraction ideal for a family day out.
Penguin Island is a specialist enclosure, which was designed to let guests get closer to the animals. You can also meet seal pup patients and stop by the specialist Seal Hospital.
The perfect experience for all children under 10 years old.
Burst through the pages of your favourite stories into a magical place of imagination, creativity, discovery and play. Adapted from some of the UK’s most loved children’s stories by Julia Donaldson and Axel Scheffler, with 6 captivating and immersive zones, this 2-hour play experience is enjoyable for a family day out.
See, hear, smell and feel York’s stories come to life before your eyes as frighteningly funny characters transport you through time.
Surprises await you at The Dungeon… Fear the Vikings as they invade and conquer York. Discover Guy Fawkes’ Gunpowder Plot and what happened that November night. Step inside the carriage to the York Knavesmire, where one of the infamous highwaymen Dick Turpin has returned.
Image courtesy of Warwick Castle WebsiteImage courtesy of Visit Warwick website
I remember a wonderful family trip we had to Warwick Castle, over two days. The castle itself is amazing. I remember the princess castle and I want my little one to experience it. We also managed to catch the knights’ battle, which was amazing to see.
What’s on in February?
Watch the spectacular Birds of Prey display at 12 pm and 2:30 pm each day.
Join an expert team of Historians for a free guided tour of Warwick’s past.
Journey through the exquisite Great Hall, State Rooms, and Royal Weekend Party.
Slide into the world’s first Zog Playland.
Get lost in time in the Horrible Histories Maze.
Indulge in a tasty afternoon tea at the Conservatory Tea House.
Visit the Princess Tower for an immersive storytelling experience, perfect for children aged 3 to 8. Get your free-timed ticket (weekends only).
CLICK the links above, to stay up to date with the latest events.
Final Thoughts
I hope you enjoyed the rundown of these amazing attractions.
Have you visited any? Which one is your favourite?
Do you celebrate Valentine’s Day? The occasion is right next to a birthday in our household, so we usually don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day as a stand-alone occasion. But we do buy small gifts. And I’m on the lookout for some gifts at the moment.
If you are too, I have some offers for you…
Quick note: Some of the links on this page are affiliate links; if you go through them to make a purchase, I will earn a commission. I only recommend products I use myself and think would be useful for other people.
There’s no sweeter gift than our Strawberry Heart Gift Box. Inside they’ll find a Strawberry Lip Butter, Strawberry Body Butter and Strawberry Hand Cream, for all-over hydration.
Protect & Soften Hand Balm Trio – £16
Give their body care routine a helping hand with our Protect & Soften Hand Balm Trio, featuring our favourite picks from the Avocado, Almond Milk and Shea collections.
Nourish & Flourish Shea Duo – £8
Show them you’re thinking of them, with our Nourish & Flourish Shea Duo. This thoughtful mini shea butter gift set is ideal if you know they’re already a fan, or you want to introduce them to the range. It’s the perfect size for travel, too.
Nourish & Flourish Shea Gift Bag – £14
Surprise your favourite shea lover with this trio of mini treats, enriched with handcrafted Community Fair Trade shea butter from Ghana.
Nourish & Flourish Almond Milk Duo – £8
Soothe and surprise dry, sensitive skin with our moisturising Nourish & Flourish Almond Milk Duo gift set – infused with Community Fair Trade organic almond milk from Spain.
Nourish & Flourish Strawberry Duo – £8
Be sweet to someone with our Nourish & Flourish Strawberry Duo gift set. It features two body care minis, so it’s just as perfect for strawberry lovers as it is for someone new to the collection.
To remember when gift buying
Cashback apps
Using Quidco for my online purchases has allowed me to earn of total of £86.29 in cashback so far. Sign up here using my referral link and earn a £15 bonus, once you’ve earned your first £5.00 cashback on the app.
Read about ALL the money offers I use on this page
If you follow my blog or my TikTok – you will know I love a message about improving your relationships. And your outlook on life in general.
It’s all about communication and openness. It’s time to look back on the amazing reasons Hypnotherapy Changed My Life.
Upcoming collaborations – NEWS
I am excited to tell you, that I am in talks with other amazing business professionals, to progress my self-development and also talk about their wonderful businesses. Watch this space and be sure to subscribe to my blog, so you can be notified when a blog post is published.
You wouldn’t just keep a computer for 10 years, without regularly updating it, deleting files and giving it a refresh. The brain is the computer which rules our whole body – why wouldn’t we keep up with the maintenance of it?
Sam – Mummy Conquering Anxiety
Quick note: Some of the links on this page are affiliate links; if you go through them to make a purchase, I will earn a commission. I only recommend products I use myself and think would be useful for other people.
Let’s think back to my hypnotherapy course
My hypnotherapy course ended in November 2022. At the time, I needed some self-development. But I knew that standard counselling or therapy wasn’t the option I needed. When you experience a lot of life-changing events in quick succession, it’s about reprogramming your subconscious mind, with the new life goals and patterns of behaviour you want to adopt. Kind of like a computer update.
You wouldn’t just keep a computer for 10 years, without regularly updating it, deleting files and giving it a refresh. The brain is the computer which rules our whole body – why wouldn’t we keep up with the maintenance of it?
A brief overview of what hypnotherapy does
The idea behind hypnotherapy is that it can be used to reprogram the unconscious or primal parts of the brain that function to avoid pain and seek pleasure.
5 of the main lessons I took away from my hypnotherapy course
We largely live our lives on autopilot, paying attention to our logical brain.
Hypnotherapy allows us to switch off the automatic brain, which allows us to reprogram our subconscious.
Reprogramming our subconscious can allow us to get rid of old habits, which no longer serve us.
Due to the primal parts of our brains, still ruling a lot of the daily decision-making, we can react with snap decisions, which don’t always serve us.
Practising meditation and listening to hypnotherapy recordings can empty your overall stress bucket. Making you more able to deal with the daily stresses we all face.
What hypnotherapy taught me about human behaviour
I’ve written posts on my blog about toddler emotions and gentle parenting:
However, I was surprised to learn that ALL humans can react quickly and sometimes with anger. The way our brain processes situations is largely automatic and it will often produce a default response to situations.
If your default response is outdated because you haven’t reprogrammed your unconscious in a while. Your behaviours in daily life might not be in line with how you want to respond to certain situations. This is a simplistic overview, the mechanics of the brain are much more complicated.
The initial relaxation element of hypnotherapy starts by dampening down the activity of the frontal cortex. Limiting the effectiveness of this area of the brain, central to attention, planning, and making decisions, increases activity in other areas engaged in filtering and integrating information. We become more open to information, more suggestible, and capable of creating more intense sensations in our minds (Thomson, 2019).
Completing training in the workplace and the fact I love to learn – meant I was already aware of the fight or flight reflex. But understanding it fully, helped me understand a lot about my struggles with anxiety. And the reason I reacted the way I did in certain, stressful life situations.
How hypnotherapy helped me become a better parent
Hypnotherapy alone cannot allow you to know everything about the emotional health of a child. And how to employ emotional intelligence when faced with tough situations. But it can open your mind to the science behind our behaviour. Essentially a child is unable to regulate their emotions and they need an adult to do this for them. Their outbursts, and meltdowns (however you refer to it) are nothing personal and they don’t have any control over them.
This allows me to understand that emotional meltdowns are simply a sign of communication – or a way to ask for help from the adult closest to you. If we think about times when we, as adults, have been so angry we cannot verbally put into words what is happening. Sometimes toddlers don’t have the words, but they express the emotion in other ways. To signal help is needed.
Discussions with our toddler
Hypnotherapy made me realise that toddlers and adults sometimes react without thinking. If we don’t understand something, our default response could be anger or frustration.
Whenever there is a disagreement in the house, or adults don’t agree on something, we use this as an example. To explain that in life, not everyone thinks the same. People will annoy each other, disagree, and argue. And that is completely okay. It’s what makes us all human.
Wonderful books about toddler emotions
I was recently struggling, to go further than this and say – mummy and daddy love you regardless of behaviour. Nothing changes our love for you. Then I came across this amazing book. See the TikTok video.
#duet with @iamsimplyysophie #istillloveyou I cannot tell you how much I love this book! 📖 As a Mum to a #toddler who struggles with certain things, it’s an important message! In the midst of #emotional#toddler#meltdowns & outbursts, it’s an important message for any child! One I was trying to verbally convey, before I first discovered the book! Now we sing the words to the book together & I tell my little girl, it’s how #mummy & #daddy feel about her ❤️ We now want to gift the #book to a #familyfriend & it will be sent from my little girl to her #schoolbestie 😥 Excuse me whilst I have a little cry. ❤️ Let’s all spread a message of #acceptance & #love PLEASE go & check out all the amazing books this creator has designed, to help children who struggle ❤️ #gentleparenting#mummycontentcreator#schoolrunmum#mummyconqueringanxiety
An online store is one of the most popular options for monetizing a blog. Starting a store that’s attached to your blog allows you to sell things that are related to it. Your products might be digital products, such as downloadable documents and files, but they could also be physical products that get shipped to your customers. Whichever you choose, you need to make sure you get your online store set up properly. There are a few things to think about before you launch your store. If you want it to succeed, start considering the following essential factors.
Pricing Your Products
Pricing products can be one of the most difficult things about selling online. It can be tough to find the right price because there’s often such a big range within the same product category. Should you put your products at the lower end of the scale or go higher? How do you need to price your products if you want to ensure you make a profit? You need to do your research if you want to get it right. Decide where you want to position your products compared to any competitors you might have and in line with what your customers are willing to pay.
Image from Pixabay – CC0 Licence
Providing Customer Support
When people buy things online, they might have moments when they need to seek support. Maybe they’re not sure which product to choose, or perhaps there’s a problem with their order. You don’t have staff working in a physical store, so you need other ways of providing customer support. One option is to add live chat to website stores, which will enable your customers to get help when they need it. You could also provide customer support via email and respond when it suits you (although not too slowly).
Delivering Your Products
Of course, you have to make sure your customers receive their products. If you’re selling digital products, you need to think about the logistics of how it will be provided to your customers. Will they receive a link for an instant download? If so, where will the files be hosted? When you’re selling digital products, make sure you check the VAT rules, as it can be tricky where they’re concerned. If you’re selling digital products, you’ll have to arrange for shipping. Will you be using drop shipping or a fulfilment service, or will you be sending out orders yourself?
Leverage Your Readership
As you’re putting your store together, make the most of your existing audience throughout the process. Start by making sure you choose products to sell that make sense for them. There’s no point in selling anything that they won’t want to buy. You can also get their feedback while you’re planning your store to see what they think. Use your social media following too, as well as your email list, especially when you want to get people excited for the launch of your store.
Monetizing your blog with a store could be a great step to help it grow. But it’s important to plan before you take the leap.
I came across this book when visiting the Bradford Literature Festival. I saw Horatio speak about the book and why he wrote it. I was intrigued. I signed up for the session because I had experienced my own mental health struggles. And honestly, I am all for people with a prominent voice speaking out against the stigma surrounding mental health.
Let’s have a look at the blurb
A story of the wonder and intensity of the manic experience, as well as its peril and strangeness, it is shot through with the love, kindness, humour and care of those who deal with someone who becomes dangerously ill. Partly a tribute to those who looked after Horatio, from family and friends to strangers and professionals, and partly an investigation into how we understand and treat acute crises of mental health, Heavy Light’s beauty, power and compassion illuminate a fundamental part of human experience. It asks urgent questions about mental health that affect each and every one of us.
Based on my experiences and my awareness that people with privilege are often able to access better health services (this goes for all health services and not just mental health). I was dubious about reading an account of mental health struggles from a well-known journalist.
To clarify, I am thankful people with status speak out – it’s needed. And I would NEVER diminish someone else’s mental health struggles – because mental health problems do not discriminate. It can happen to anyone – it doesn’t matter how much money you have in the bank or how big your house is. But it DOES matter that people may receive fair treatment regardless of their circumstances.
Privilege addressed in the book
Horatio himself addresses privilege and talks honestly about his situation compared to people in other circumstances. The latter part of the book also discusses possible treatments and outcomes for mental illness, with some great suggestions for alternative therapies and up-and-coming strategies for addressing mental health.
Why I ended up loving the book
Although I was dubious at first, I ended up loving the book. So much that I stayed up way too late reading endless pages. Just to find out more about Haratio’s journey.
The main themes I loved the most:
Impact on family
The book explores the huge impact that Haratio’s erratic behaviour had on his family. And their worries about managing his mental health moving forward. This rings true for so many people out there. Ultimately, if you had a broken leg, the people closest to you would pick up the tasks you were unable to do. The same applies to mental health. When someone is unable to function, because of their mind, it’s usually family and friends who protect and look after you.
Discussions about mental health with children
Because I was mentally ill during pregnancy and with the pressure of becoming a new mother, it was inevitable that I would have to discuss this with my child. Although she’s young, we are always honest with her about things. And we always will be. Explaining that Mummy sometimes has things going on in her mind. Therefore, she needs a rest and some downtime. These discussions are something we do regularly.
I wrote previously about toddler emotions. Kids pick up intuitively on more than we realise. And they always seem to know when something is wrong or you need a hug. Don’t underestimate their understanding. And as a parent or carer, consider being honest about your struggles. And about emotions and life in general.
The science
The science behind mental health problems is something widely debated. And it has impacted the treatment I received from day one. For example, the doctor was understandably reluctant to prescribe anti-depressants. But when I actually looked into the studies behind taking them, the data was inconclusive.
There literally is no right answer to what impacts an individual’s mental health. Everyone is different and therefore impacted differently. The book explores this in great detail and provides a balanced argument for studies and therapies available.
Summary
I hope you enjoyed my review of the book. If you want to check it out, click the links below:
I started this blog in August 2021, because I felt compelled to share my story with other people. Going through challenging circumstances, naturally makes you assess how resilient you really are. I was in a dark place at the time, social media and talking about my experiences really helped me. And I knew it would help other people.
Talking about your experiences could make someone feel less alone. I am now accepting mental health guest posts. I would love to help other people get their message out there – to the people who need it most.
Let’s explore – Topics To Get You Started In Talking About Your Mental Health
Everyone has a unique experience
I hope other people never experience the darkness of anxiety or depression. However, the reality is, that we may all experience challenging circumstances in life. There will be times when our stress bucket fills up and there needs to be an outlet. A healthy amount of anxiety is a natural defence mechanism. And in small amounts, it can keep us safe. But it’s when the balance tips that the problems begin.
Talking helps
It is no secret that talking to other people can help with our mental health. There has been amazing research on the power of community groups and connecting with our peers.
One main lesson I’ve taken from starting my blogs is that we can speak out – to help other people. But we may never know about the great impact this has. We don’t need to know. The purpose of kindness and empathy is to give it out. Not to measure the effect you had on someone’s life. Just know – that by talking honestly about your own story, you may positively impact someone else. You could even quietly save a life.
Sam – Mummy Conquering Anxiety Blog
Let’s dive into the topics you could talk about, to start a conversation which may help other people
The symptoms of your mental illness
Everyone is different. And like all other ailments, both physical and mental problems impact individuals differently. Talking about the symptoms you face, could help you relate to other people out there. Whi might also be experiencing the same thing as you.
Every person is different and no mental health diagnosis will impact people in the same way. Writing about what you personally do to stay well, despite your struggles, could help inspire someone else to adopt well-being tools.
Your mental health goals & aspirations
Because my mental breakdown was triggered by pregnancy, work stress and becoming a new mother, all of these factors are something I personally worry about. Overcoming this adversity and worry has proved to be a massive hurdle for me. But worth the work.
Often great life goals can be borne from the toughest of life circumstances. Writing about how you formulated these goals can be liberating. And it will definitely help other people.
Want more Topics To Get You Started In Talking About Your Mental Health?
Your daily & weekly self-care routine
We should ALL have a self-care routine. Despite what society tells us, it’s important. We look after ourselves physically but often neglect the mental health we should preserve and nurture.
Sharing what you do daily or weekly, to look after your mind can inspire other people to look after theirs. Or adopt some of your routines, which could prove to be life-changing for them.
An example from my own life was persevering with a Hypnotherapy course. Agreeing to start it was completely out of my comfort zone and some days, I was simply too busy to set aside time for the Zoom calls. But it was worth it. And I am now well versed in meditation, so much so that a quick 5-minute meditation recording really helps.
Life changes you’ve made to help your mental health
It’s a fact of life that we sometimes need to make significant changes in order to help our health. In the same way that you would eat less sugar if you were diabetic. Or you would pursue a course of physiotherapy after a severe physical injury. Sometimes we have to make changes to our lives to protect our mental health.
Sharing some of the life changes you might have made, with other people, may help them to start putting changes in place. Or start to think about the possibility of doing so. There is power in this.
Final Thoughts
One main lesson I’ve taken from starting my blogs is that we can speak out – to help other people. But we may never know about the great impact this has. We don’t need to know. The purpose of kindness and empathy is to give it out. Not to measure the effect you had on someone’s life. Just know – that by talking honestly about your own story, you may positively impact someone else. You could even quietly save a life.
With Christmas approaching, it’s the perfect time to introduce you to our family T-shirt brand—designs lovingly created. We hope you love them as much as we do.
Sustainable Clothing Items For Christmas Gifts…
Let’s talk about the sustainability element
We picked a platform where sustainability was at the forefront of making the products. And the quality in designs and wearability is there. Everything is made from organic materials, using renewable energy. We must all start doing our bit for the environment and it starts small.
Why we started the family business
Who doesn’t love sustainable Clothing Items For Christmas Gifts? Welcome to Roaring Pumpkin Tees. Since experiencing a mental breakdown in 2021, I have made it my mission to share my story, with honesty, to raise awareness of mental health struggles.
My first blog Mummy Conquering Anxiety began when I had an overwhelming feeling I had to start talking about my experience.
THE DIFFERENCE – this is a family project…
If you follow my first, second and third blogs, you will know I refer to my toddler as ‘little pumpkin’. And oh my – she is fierce, feisty, and sassy! Just like her mummy. This business is dedicated to my very own roaring pumpkin. I made her. I’m proud of her. May she always go out into the world and conquer it.
Ready to take on the roaring pumpkin spirit? Check out our lovingly made designs…
Shall we get into the lovely products we’ve created for you all
You never know the struggle someone is facing. I hid my anxiety condition for 15 years. People sometimes feel ashamed to reveal their true feelings or struggles. Therefore, I want everyone to wear the message – Be Kind.
Being Kind can have a massive impact, which you will probably never know about. A kind word or gesture could literally save someone’s life.
Love really does make the world go round. And it was love from family, friends and complete strangers on the internet, that got me through my mental breakdown.
Be kind, make connections, and express love. You won’t regret it!
I kept myself closed for years. But opening myself up, and stepping out of my comfort zone, was the best thing I ever did.
This lovely bear was drawn by my toddler, spruced up a bit using my hubby’s technical skills and brought to life by the skills I’ve self-taught as a blogger.
I tell my little one about having limited channels on the TV. VHS movies, DVD players. She’s had a tablet for a few years, with access to an Amazon & Disney+ subscription. So she doesn’t really understand the struggle.
GUEST POST – Author Bio – Tips on living Live Your Best – Most Positive Life
Hello from me, my blog is GAWD, Generalised Anxiety and Worry Diaries.
On the surface, I’m your average forty-something mum, with two kids, a husband, and a dog. Giving off the impression that life is effortless. But scratch that surface and you’ll find that I’m harbouring a secret power, I am in fact – Super Anxious Brummie Mummy! It’s a title I take very seriously. I can spend hours agonising over the stupidest of things. I meal-plan weeks in advance, make endless lists, set thousands of reminders, and have online shops booked in for over a month. Super anxious mum has all bases covered, she’s got fingers in every anxiety-inducing pie.
GAWD is a place where I serve you up some regular ramblings from me and my bonkers, anxious brain. Some of it is not that easy to stomach, gawd no. Some bites could give the Norovirus a run for its money. Some of you will relate, some of you will laugh out loud, and I’m guessing that some of you will run for the hills. But that’s what it’s all about. Having those difficult conversations, in the hope that those affected, will reach out. I’m a mental health mentor and young person’s mental health advocate. I’m a MSc psychology grad, so I’ll throw in a teeny bit of science into the pot, to help us make sense of things.
Quick note: Some of the links contained on this page are affiliate links and if you go through them to make a purchase, I will earn a commission. I only recommend products I use myself and think would be useful for other people.
It’s getting dark by 4.30 pm, the mornings are gothic and misty. The long, hot, sunny days are fading into a distant memory. With winter firmly on the horizon, you’d be forgiven for losing that positive outlook on life. Winter blues are a real thing. Especially for anxious souls like me. Christmas is coming, the goose is getting fat. Please will someone put a nice big dose of positivity in my bobble hat? Isn’t that how the old rhyme goes? Well fear not, I have devised a clever strategy to help us all, even the seasonally affected folk, to start feeling that festive cheer and pack away that negative bleurgh.
Festive? Cheers…
At the time of writing this, I was dusting off the Halloween decorations, getting the sparklers out for bonfire night, and starting to think about the big ‘X’ (festive celebration, starts with X and ends with ‘mas). I don’t know about you, but it kind of feels like the moment that the children go back to school, after the summer holidays, life ramps up ten gears.
If only it was a slow burn into Autumn, revving up to Christmas. But oh no, it’s stress-o’clock from the get-go. It’s so busy, it’s like our fixed calendar celebrations and holidays are setting us up for a fail. Then January hits and it’s all quiet on the western front, with only the most depressing day of the year to look forward to.
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-self-care tips, affirmations, positive quotes, how to thrive in life (I need to remind myself of these daily tips too)
Tips on living Live Your Best – Most Positive Life – CONTINUED
Plus there’s life’s daily demands and those curve snowballs, for instance; navigating the freezing school run, endless amounts of laundry, wardrobe changeover, what to cook for dinner, and salads are officially out. (Not that my kids thought they were in.)
My LATEST gift guide – including fall home decor to bring in the season in style! & a few Christmas gifts
It doesn’t help that I gave birth to my children in the Autumn months. I mean, I should have really mapped out the old gestation calendar a bit better. I always say I’m not going mad, we’ll keep the kids’ parties simple. Cut to – headless chicken-style party planning with the end result resembling a Hollywood-esque style, grand affair. Sixteen party favours per bag, bubble teas being produced at a rate of knots, icing cupcakes until two in the morning. I do jest, I love making the kids happy. But I feel like anxiety adds pressure to my plate that’s kind of unhelpful. An inner push-me-pull-me scenario. Is this good enough? Am I good enough? Push, push, push and break.
Bee positive
So short of moving Halloween to January, or home-schooling the kids, (not gonna happen). I feel the need to post some guidelines on how to not lose your mind get through the busiest of seasons and most importantly stay on a positive tip. But what do I mean? You can say “bee positive” and all of those other lovely little phrases, but it’s hard when you’re faced with life’s trials to actually grasp what it means to be and more importantly, stay positive. Sometimes it feels so much easier to focus on the bad things in our lives, you know. Especially those who suffer from anxiety, spiralling in and out of negative thoughts. And the culprit? I present to you, cortisol. This little firecracker is a chemical in the brain which increases when we’re on a negative tip. It’s the body’s reaction to stress or a threat.
Walking risk assessments
Negative thoughts are essentially threats to our system. Being prone to negativity is not a new thing for humans. Many moons ago, being on guard and looking out for risks, with high levels of cortisol running through our veins, was essential for survival in an unsafe world. Now we live in a safe(ish) world. Unfortunately, it just so happens that anxiety disorders can make us feel like those poor old cavemen and women. Like we are in imminent danger, every second of every day.
Anxiety and negativity do have their positives, even in these modern times. Anxious, negative thinkers often catastrophize thoughts and think of the worst-case scenarios, thus avoiding potential drama. We’re able to spot where helpful changes could be made in our lives, so we make great leaders. Negativity could save a life, anxious people make great risk assessors. We’re also fab realists to have around. So make sure you keep us on your Christmas card list.
Life changer
There are times though, that negativity needs to take a back seat. To make way for positivity and raise those levels of dopamine and serotonin – the happy chemicals. It’s not just about being happy-go-lucky little cheeky chappies, it’s so much more than that. Those with optimistic outlooks are said to live healthier, more fruitful, and enjoyable lives. I think one study said that optimistic women live on average 4.4 years longer! 4.4 years folks! There is an indirect relationship between optimism and adopting a healthier lifestyle, thus extending time on this sweet planet. I’ve said it once, I’ll say it again. “Time is our most precious commodity.”
Happy little pictures
So how do we go about living our best positive lives? I decided that rather than grand red letter day-type positivity excursions. (They were all out of hot air balloon rides in Surrey.) I’d go about identifying the small everyday wins. I set about conducting a small-scale experiment. To post daily pics on my Instagram. account – Super Anxious Brummie Mummy! What better way to document the small wins than by the power of photography? There’s nothing like an uplifting or funny picture to lift the spirits. Plus those little hits of joy were exactly the bursts of dopamine and serotonin my body needed to counter the negativity.
Now I’m going to lie, it wasn’t easy. Some days I was racking my brain thinking, “What on Earth is a winner from today’s s**t show?” And worse than that, anxiety and cortisol were fighting against my small wins and trying to cloud them with negativity. Brain, why do you test me so?!? On other days, small wins smacked me right in the kisser. They took on exciting new forms, like, finding joy at the loo seat being clean and put down, or watching my dog, a most excellent, furry bullet squirrel chaser. I did some real soul-searching. This process, for me, has really proved that, where there is darkness, there’s also light. Yep, it was also National Poetry Week, I had a go at poetry. I liked it = small win.
FROM THE MCA BLOG – Books to help you on your positivity journey:
By confronting negativity head-on and finding the positive within a negative, I was adopting the ‘negative bounce’ method. Real bonafide psychologists have coined this fun term, (Tugade, 2004). Also, it turns out that I am not only countering negativity and becoming more positive. I’m building resilience to future negative events. Because guys, headliners – ‘life is full of these ups and downs.’
Tips on Living Live Your Best – Most Positive Life. Other top small wins and negative bounces:
Bee rescue, I saved a bee from a spiderweb. This is even after my unfortunate encounter in the summer, where one travelled up my trouser leg and stung me twice! Overcoming fears and wildlife rescue. I mean, it’s all there, right?
In future, when someone is asking me to “Bee positive ” I’ve a good mind to tell them to “buzz off!” I’m doing just fine without a winged stinger of a phrase to keep my chin up. I am, of course, joking, who doesn’t love a little positivity meme? I’m just trying to drum home that positivity is in the eye of the beholder. But do remember negativity has its place, it’s how we manage stressful situations and protect ourselves. It’s learning how best to bat those thoughts away when they become unhelpful, that’s the key
gawd blog founder
Not lost my stuff because a coffee pot lid had been left off, so when I went to use it it fell open and sprayed coffee everywhere. I laughed. That is a small win right there. (Big win for others in my house you might argue.)
FROM THE MCA BLOG – Want more money-saving tips – you can check out my money-saving hacks page:
Celebration that I can keep a plant alive, not just any old plant. My child’s bonsai tree is notoriously difficult to care for. Small win. I would move that to big wins, but let’s see if it’s still alive in a few months.
Capturing a very large spider in a glass and setting it free. I’m petrified of the hairy beasts. But the kids were fascinated and we had fun looking at its gorgeous fangs… We named him Derek Gordon. (8-year-old son’s choice.)
And do you know looking back and seeing all of those small wins documented, is an affirmation that I am ok. I’m happy with my lot. In future, when someone is asking me to “Bee positive ” I’ve a good mind to tell them to “buzz off!” I’m doing just fine without a winged stinger of a phrase to keep my chin up. I am, of course, joking, who doesn’t love a little positivity meme? I’m just trying to drum home that positivity is in the eye of the beholder. But do remember negativity has its place, it’s how we manage stressful situations and protect ourselves. It’s learning how best to bat those thoughts away when they become unhelpful, that’s the key. Right, back to Instagram.
TTFN.
A final word from MCA founder, Sam:
I hope you enjoyed reading this fab guest post – Tips on living Live Your Best – Most Positive Life
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