How Your Intuition Can Help You Make Smart Decisions
Ways in which Intuition draws us towards Smart Decisions
When and how to trust your gut instincts
Today I have another wonderful guest post to share with you all…
Trishna Patnaik has a BSc (in Life Sciences) and MBA (in Marketing) by qualification but is an artist by choice. A self-taught artist based in Mumbai, Trishna has been practising art for over 14 years. After she had a professional stint in various reputed corporations, she realised that she wanted to do something more meaningful.
She found her true calling in her passion which is painting. Trishna is now a full-time professional painter pursuing her passion to create and explore to the fullest. She says, “It’s a road less travelled but a journey that I look forward to every day.” Trishna also conducts painting workshops across Mumbai and other metropolitan cities in India.
Trishna is an art therapist and healer. She works with clients on a one-on-one basis in Mumbai.
Trishna fancies the art of creative writing and is dappling her hands in that too, to soak in the experience and an engagement with readers, wanderers and thinkers.
Quick note: Some of the links contained on this page are affiliate links and if you go through them to make a purchase, I will earn a commission. I only recommend products I use myself and think would be useful for other people.
When times are stressful, every decision can seem monumental. It can be challenging to make big decisions. Like whether to leave a secure job for a risky one. But also to make smaller decisions – like whether to have chicken or fish for dinner.
Often, we intuitively know what we want to do, but we end up overthinking and get stuck in uncertainty. The best thing to do in those moments is to use your knowledge, experience, and yes, your intuition. This enables you to make a firm decision and trust that it’s the best one you could have made at the time. However, this is easier said than done.
Here, are four actionable tips to help you access your intuition and make decisions with less stress:
Make big decisions when you are relaxed
It is never advisable to make important decisions when emotions are running high. When we are anxious, angry, sad, or worried, our instinct is often to get rid of the feeling right away. But the short-term solutions we find do not always benefit us in the long run. Instead, we will get the best intuitive guidance when we are relaxed. Taking a few slow, easy breaths will help your nervous system settle and if the answer is there, it will reveal itself.
Write down the pros and cons
When you cannot make up your mind about what to do, jotting down the pros and cons can be helpful as a visual guide. It will allow you to look at the decision more objectively what could go right, and what could go wrong. It allows your mind to take in the full picture. Having done that, just trust your gut.
Do your research
Contrary to how it is sometimes portrayed, trusting your intuition does not mean abandoning your critical thinking skills. If you are unsure about your gut instincts, you can seek out advice from trusted friends, family, or professionals. While taking their perspective in, be sure to remember that your opinion is the one that matters most. After all, the decision you make will primarily affect you. By doing your due diligence you can feel confident that your intuition is guiding you towards an informed decision.
Practice using your intuition
You can hone and strengthen your intuition by practising with small decisions, like which restaurant to eat at. Give yourself permission not to overthink small decisions and go with what seems right at first. Try not to worry about whether you made the “right choice,” and just accept the choice for what it is. If that feeling of worry does come, simply sit with it, and practice becoming comfortable with the uncertainty. Once you have had practice trusting your intuition in low-stakes situations, you will feel more confident harnessing it during monumental moments.
Today I have a great guest post to share with you all!
Trishna Patnaik has a BSc (in Life Sciences) and MBA (in Marketing) by qualification but is an artist by choice. A self-taught artist based in Mumbai, Trishna has been practising art for over 14 years. After she had a professional stint in various reputed corporates, she realised that she wanted to do something more meaningful. She found her true calling in her passion which is painting. Trishna is now a full-time professional painter pursuing her passion to create and explore to the fullest. She says, “It’s a road less travelled but a journey that I look forward to every day.” Trishna also conducts painting workshops across Mumbai and other metropolitan cities in India.
Trishna is an art therapist and healer. She works with clients on a one-on-one basis in Mumbai.
Trishna fancies the art of creative writing and is dappling her hands in that too, to soak in the experience and an engagement with readers, wanderers and thinkers.
Quick note: Some of the links contained on this page are affiliate links and if you go through them to make a purchase, I will earn a commission. I only recommend products I use myself and think would be useful for other people.
Introduction
The word procrastination has its origin in the Latin word pro-crastinus where “pro” means “forward or in favour of” and “crastinus” means “of tomorrow”. It refers to delaying a task for a later time or sometimes completely avoiding it.
Procrastination is a highly widespread act as it could be described as someone knowing what he/she is bound to do in an assigned task and even willing to accomplish it but failing to complete the task in a given or an expected framework of time.
Procrastination is a complex phenomenon. It emphasises neglecting to do what we know we should be doing. And at times we can get very creative in our neglecting techniques. If you find yourself procrastinating daily then to know the cause for your inactivity you need to dig your soul a bit!
Procrastination is one of the biggest obstacles towards productivity and a guilty refuge of creative capacity everywhere. It is something we are all guilty of, and something we all have our tactics (sometimes with varying degrees of success) to combat. So what makes us procrastinate? Why is the temptation so great, even as we know we need to complete the task at hand?
First, let us take a look at the psychology of procrastination. While everyone procrastinates to some extent, not everyone happens to be a chronic procrastinator. There are relatively harmless instances of procrastination—not starting a project until you’ve gone to the washroom, checked Instagram, refilled your coffee and even organized everything in your top desk drawer, or leaving out your least favourite task for Friday afternoon.
But there are also the very unhealthy procrastination habits that find you staring at a blank computer screen for an hour, or that leave you awake in the middle of the night in a cold sweat, agonizing over the work you didn’t complete at all, wondering how you’ll ever get it done the very next day!
Four Types of Procrastination and How to Beat Them
We all procrastinate at some point or another but most of us don’t consider the reasons why we do it. There is a tendency to assume that we procrastinate because we are weak or we would be simply doing something more fun.
Let us cover the four types of procrastinators:
1. Anxious procrastination
Procrastination is a mechanism for coping with the anxiety associated with starting or completing any task or decision. People who procrastinate a lot are usually bad at managing their time and often end up scheduling more work than they can complete, leaving no time for fun activities or resting. So not fulfilling these unrealistic expectations does cause stress and anxiety which some people deal with by procrastinating.
How to beat it
“Unschedule method” as a way to combat this anxiety-driven procrastination!
The unscheduled method involves filling your schedule with fun activities and rest before scheduling any work. For example, if you find yourself checking Facebook for 15 minutes at 3 pm every afternoon, schedule Facebook time first and plan your work around that. This scheduled fun or downtime will give you the chance to relax and prevent you from overscheduling.
2. Fun procrastination
The fun procrastinator would rather be doing anything except that one dreaded task. After all, there are so many exciting things you could be doing instead, how can you even bear to start that boring project?
How to beat it
If there’s absolutely no way you are going to start on that one dreaded task, try indulging yourself in some structured procrastination. You are going to procrastinate anyway so why not make it useful? Give in to your desire to procrastinate, but instead of watching videos of flowers on YouTube, start another item on your to-do list. By starting another item first, you’ve made the dreaded task a lower priority which (in theory) makes you dread it a lot less, and in the meantime, you are still being productive. It’s a win-win.
3. “Plenty of time” procrastination
Many people find it difficult to start a project when they know the deadline is a long way down the line. This type of procrastination is visible in people who often struggle to start an assignment earlier than a few days before the deadline.
You may also have tasks that don’t have deadlines. Take a look at your to-do list. Chances are you have at least one item that you’ve been putting off for weeks if not months. It’s something you want to do, and you know it is for the better, but you keep putting it off.
How to beat it
Please set your deadlines. The implications of the same. By setting deadlines and announcing them publicly, you will not only get the work done, but you’ll do a good job of it!
So try setting deadlines and telling your friends, family and co-workers about them. This public commitment should keep you on track and motivate you to meet those deadlines.
4. Perfectionist procrastination
Perfectionists are always striving for the best and, as such, are constantly criticizing their work. For some perfectionists, the fear of failing, or producing work to a low standard, can be so overwhelming they never get around to starting anything!
Procrastination is the enemy of success.
How to beat it
Procrastinating can be a good thing for perfectionists. As long as they have a lot of time to do a task, they fantasize about doing a perfect job. Leaving it till the last minute is a way of permitting oneself to do a merely adequate job. 99 per cent of the time a merely adequate job is all that is needed.
Do revisit the last 5 jobs you completed. Were they all perfect? Probably not! Were they sufficient? Chances are you are already working towards a high standard so do stop giving yourself a hard time. Identify the times when you didn’t do the perfect job, but the consequences were the same as when you did, this will help you to overcome your perfectionist routine and in turn, stop procrastinating.
What is cognitive psychology?
Cognitive Psychology is the branch of psychology that studies mental procedures encompassing how people contemplate discerning, recalling, and learning. As a portion of the larger field of cognitive science, this division of psychology is connected to supplementary control encompassing neuroscience, philosophy and linguistics.
Procrastination is opportunity’s assassin.
Following are some of the cognitive causes of procrastination:
Fear of Failure
Linking the task to our self-worth is often the crucial mistake that leads to deferring a task. We can often go to self-defeating lengths to prevent feeling judged. Yet, when we judge ourselves as failures, we fulfil this very expectation by either not completing the task, finishing the task late, or completing the task in a substandard way. But if we wrongly believe that our self-worth is based on our talent and our performance, then procrastination becomes the way by which we block either of these aspects from being on display.
Fear of Success
There are many reasons why potential success can be so threatening. For some, there is the fear that success can be too difficult to maintain, for others, cultural pressures may bring deep shame on those who fail, while others simply fear competition and not winning.
Some procrastinators avoid success because, on some irrational level, they expect to be negatively labelled for their desire to win, For example, they may fear being thought of as ‘selfish’, or ‘arrogant’ if they are successful!
Similarly, for others the fear of success is based on low self-esteem issues, feeling that they are not worthy of success, some people procrastinate because of another low self-esteem issue: fatalism and some people feel that they will lose love or be hated by others if they succeed.
Lack of Self-Confidence
People who suffer from procrastination tend to have lower self-esteem in turn be less confident than others. If you do not feel good about yourself, you may feel that others are cleverer and that you can’t bear to show your perceived inferior work. It is important to be aware of how you criticize yourself and how this can cause you to freeze when work is due to avoid being judged.
Poor Study Skills
Failure to understand how to produce work quickly can lead to feeling overwhelmed and thereafter cause procrastination.
Emotional and mental health problems
If you become overwhelmed, you will feel unable to complete tasks or cope with your relationships. This can potentially exacerbate emotional problems, making task completion very difficult.
Anxiety
People tend to procrastinate on tasks that seem stressful to them. Hence, people who easily get under stress start to procrastinate. There is a list of things that makes people anxious especially irrational beliefs; it does include a variety of anxiety-provoking world views.
Anger
Procrastination can occur when you’re angry feelings get the better of you. Example: when you may feel let down by friends and social circle. An angry response to such situations can be an avoidance of social or academic responsibilities.
Your mind is for having ideas not holding them.
Effects of procrastination
Procrastination has negative impacts both in your personal and professional life and also on one’s health. Most of the negative impacts are related to one’s daily life.
The Major ones which according to most psychologists and the public are important are as follows:
Procrastination is indeed a time-killer.
Procrastination promotes poor academic performance and professional performance.
Procrastination produces stress and anxiety
Postponement of tasks could hinder achievement in life endeavours.
Deadlines are often not met due to the postponement of tasks.
The greatest opportunities are lost due to procrastination.
A delayed task is a delayed success.
Action will destroy your procrastination.
Cures of procrastination
To get rid of procrastination one needs to get fully aware of the behavioural changes. Secondly, try to make the task less threatening and more enjoyable so that it doesn’t haunt and one doesn’t fear starting the task. Thirdly, make it a habit that before starting any task, make a plan or procedure of how to come across it, this way things will become a lot simpler. Fourthly, one needs to have good time management skills, especially in the field of planning so that one is aware of the significant future outcomes.
General counselling and psychotherapy techniques have yielded some improvement in procrastination; however, specific behavioural and cognitive-behavioural techniques appear to be more effective in reducing procrastination. One should have proper aims set, divide the work, and change one’s thinking of perfectionism and fear of outcome will help in reducing procrastination.
Unhealthy Sleep
Lack of sleep is likely to make you procrastinate. This is because of the negative effects that unhealthy sleep inflicts. This causes laziness and eventually, the person loses the spark needed to perform any task.
Diet
Diet plays a very important role in procrastination. An unhealthy diet made of low-quality ingredients works negatively on the mind and the rest of the body. The vitamins and other essentials when are not part of the diet, the body’s efficiency decreases and then one starts to delay his work.
Conclusion
Learning is a relatively permanent change in an organism’s behaviour due to experience. According to Segment Freud child’s personality is built within 6 years. And if during those six years, the child is taught procrastination through observation it will go on all through his life and he will keep on delaying all his work without considering that there is something wrong with it. One type of learning is imitation and observation. Procrastination is something which is not in-built but is observed and learned from the surrounding.
My advice is to never do tomorrow what you can do today. Procrastination is the thief of time. –Charles Dickens
I would like to welcome Jas to Thrift Plan Enjoy and also thank her for sending me this great guest post! Over to Jas…
Hi, I’m Jas! It brings me much joy to write a guest blog post for Thrift Plan Enjoy.
I am a digital creator who loves creating content around architecture, travel, food, and drink. Coffee, and lifestyle. I love to see the little things every day and learn to love my own company. Doing this by venturing out of my comforts and providing the life that I deserve. To be able to surround myself with the little things every day that make me happy means a lot to the journey of finding my better self. I hope you can feel inspired by the life I live. And realise happiness starts with small and simple joys.
Quick note: Some of the links contained on this page are affiliate links and if you go through them to make a purchase, I will earn a commission. I only recommend products I use myself and think would be useful for other people.
How this interest became a part of me
An interest I recently picked up. I have always been into decorating and adding personality to my room. I started off this interest with a Himalayan Salt Lamp from TK MAXX.
A few years down the line and it’s still making a central statement in my room. When I switch it on it gives off a relaxing feel. As well as looking appealing to the eye. They are very good for several reasons. Helping to relieve anxiety, purify the air, boost your mood, and help with sleep. They are also an ideal piece that can go with any decor style. Simply because of the natural and vibrant feel to them.
Southampton
Since moving to Southampton I have found a love for this independent shop called Zen. I didn’t think I would come back to this interest in mindfulness and healing stones. Looking for unique places to go to is one of my pastimes.
Socialising
In my social life, a lot of the time is about me spending quality time with myself. But I knew that one thing I wanted to try and do was get out and socialising a little more with people. Zen was where I could talk to people and feel comfortable browsing around the shop. Ultimately, growing my confidence every time I visited.
It is a beautiful shop full of gemstones, crystals, and jewelry, and they also sell some items from small businesses. Staff is helpful in helping you and your healing journey by connecting your personality and mindset to what you need to surround yourself with.
(The Zen shop is the green and black storefront)
Are there any Scorpios here?
I am a true Scorpio. And I can see why I come under this star sign. Described as someone passionate, ambitious, and full of imagination. With strengths, there are also weaknesses. Which can be vulnerability takes a key spot in the way Scorpios are invested and attached to something. This can trigger them. Bringing out their fear of loss can also highlight their trust issues.
What gemstones & crystals do I have?
I have built up a small collection of gemstones and crystals. I selectively picked the ones I felt I was attracted to. Not necessarily which ones looked the prettiest. Because I wanted to understand myself more through them. To be able to get a better insight into my strengths and weaknesses, personality, and traits. And which ones would help to heal and help put my life into perspective.
Some small businesses selling the items I love
I love you can get them in many forms such as key rings, necklaces, and shaped ornaments. The general ones to pop anywhere around your home. A lovely small business, which I will mention below, makes up the cutest mini worry jars. And hearts, which I am simply obsessed with. They also show the on-packaging healing traits. Which is so helpful when selecting the right ones for me. Below are a few of the healing items I have:
Rhodonite – A Scorpio-dedicated gemstone with the symbolism of new beginnings and starting over. To have this around you can help to open the heart and awake companion.
Amethyst – It’s said that this crystal has the benefit of providing protection. Relieving stress, and clearing the mind of negative energy that’s around.
Tiger Eye – This one is great for growing confidence and strength, known as the stone of courage. Helps to find that motivation in you and back off any negativity that comes your way.
Bloodstone – Often described as the stone that increases courage, and creative energy, and boosts motivation. It tries to remove blocks that are keeping us stuck which helps to revitalise our energy and create a clearer path forward. Helps to bring trust back into your life and regain a bit of confidence.
Howlite – I have this one in Blue and it is said to help find your inner peace and calm you during difficult times. It also can release any emotional burdens that you may have been carrying around with you.
Do you have any of these or any different ones? Comment after reading through this post
How would I describe myself?
I would say I am someone who loves to dream and has a good imagination. Motivating myself each day. Dedicating time to the things that make me happy. I am quite an optimistic person. Wanting to succeed in the dreams and goals I have for myself. However long it takes to get to them.
With the many positive things, I have about myself. There are a small group of traits that I associate myself with.
There are a few key negatives that outline me as well. I can be quite sensitive at times. And overthink many situations. This puts negative thoughts into my mind. Often difficult to remove. I can be an over-perfectionist about things, which can impact my resilience and knock on my confidence.
How do they make a statement in a room?
I am a sucker for architectural interior details. Therefore, these healing elements can bring personality and liveliness to a room. They bring me down to ground level. Making me feel calm and collected. I feel reassured when around them. As they make me reflect on my life and how I go about certain situations.
Below I have put together a small list of accounts and stores to follow and check out:
@zenlifestyleuk
@bymollyandizzie
Instagram
@crystal_moon_tree
@huntingformagic
(A worry jar from Zen handcrafted @bymollyandizzie – Tourmaline with healing properties of Inspiration, Confidence, and Grounding)
Crystals est. 1987 – They have many dotted around the UK.
Shops
Zen – They have one in Southampton in the Marlands Shopping Centre.
Going to these shops I feel at ease because they never make you feel like you have to buy anything, and just having a browse at the different fragrances, healing stones, and crystals is great for the mind and for spending some chill time especially if you’re feeling down.
Finally…
We have come to the end of this blog post. Thank You so much for reading through this post, I hope you have picked up on some interest in healing items and how they have helped me in many little ways.
Until next time
I want to thank Jas again for writing this guest post. All the details you need to connect with her are below.
I would love to connect with some of you, so I’ll leave some links to my blog page and social media channels. Jas Fitze Blogs.
It is a running joke in the family I should set up an event planning business – how about a blog instead?? My family is all too aware of my passion for planning. Think 30 WhatsApp messages about all aspects of the holiday, sent during their workday! I should be paid a travel agent fee!
When launching a second blog, I had to think about other subjects I was passionate about. I asked myself what subject I could talk endlessly about. It occurred to me my love of planning and arranging holidays hadn’t ceased with my transformation following a mental health breakdown. In fact, following the pandemic, I was eager to get back to one of my main passions. And what better way to improve mental health than having an occasion to look forward to.
My intention is to live life to the fullest by being as thrifty as possible. Saving money and maximising my earning potential. You can’t add a price tag to quality time together. Here’s to making the most of life.
What you will be hearing about on my blog
This blog is all about achieving your goals. We all need money to live, but I’m in the process of trying to find a balance between work and family life. If you are also on a similar journey, you are in the right place. I will use my passion for planning to reach my goals in life, and I won’t stop until I get there.
My travelling background
Since my late teens, I traveled up and down the UK, mainly partying and having an amazing time with my friends. Going on girls’ holidays, any adventure I could book. Just opening my eyes to what’s out there in the world.
In our later years, the hubby & I sought adventures together. Our holidays revolved around sightseeing, soaking up the history of a place, and learning new things. Life has changed now we are parents, but our little one is now as enthusiastic about travel as us. Unfortunately, the pandemic halted our travel plans, but I am looking forward to sharing with you how we adapted to the situation and still managed a few safe getaways.
You can look forward to posts about our UK travel, English Heritage membership, family days out, and the odd holiday abroad. 2022 will hopefully be our year of holidays. We have a huge special occasion coming up in the family and some other ideas for shorter breaks. I can’t wait to blog about the planning process and show you what we got up to on our holidays.
Money saving mission
I honestly look at my finances now and think every penny I can save will be spent on us enjoying ourselves as a family. I intend to live life to the fullest by being as thrifty as possible. Saving money and maximising my earning potential. You can’t add a price tag to quality time together. Here’s to making the most of life.
If you are here, reading this, we are all starting on this money-saving journey together.
Why I want to help other people
Following a tough time recently, I decided to start blogging. Sharing my thoughts and knowledge to help others, aided my recovery from a mental breakdown.
Going through a transformation mentally and redundancy from my job, made me appreciate the important aspects of life. It also made me more aware of the money we are spending and the need to budget.
Why not share my passion for planning to help other people and talk about the subjects I love the most?
Final thoughts
I hope you’ve enjoyed reading this post.
I wanted to give my readers some background about why I started my blog and what you can expect to read in the future.
Do you have a passion for planning? Are you on a mission to save money? Maybe there is an area of your life you need to start planning more?
Let me know in the comments below. I would love to hear from you.
When I started my blogging journey, it was guest posting and advertising on other peoples’ blogs that helped increase my domain authority (DA). And more importantly, build a network of supportive bloggers.
I feel privileged to introduce you to my February advertisers
It’s now time for me to share other people’s wonderful blogs. Please go and show my February advertisers some love, by commenting, sharing their posts, and interacting with one another. I regularly post on Twitter about the blogging community and how it is great to be part of such a supportive group of people.
There is something for everyone in this bunch. A mix of lifestyle, photography, and blogs about the honest realities of mummy life.
Let’s dive in
Ellie’s Little World
Why I loved checking out Ellie’s blog
Ellie is one of the bloggers in the community I have regular contact with and I have advertised on her blog previously. As such, I am excited to have her as an advertiser this month.
On her blog, you will find various lifestyle topics and I particularly love her beauty reviews, and when she shares one of her new candle collections with us. Go and check out the blog. And her amazing candle collection.
A little bit about Ellie
Ellie is a lifestyle blogger (among other things) from Somerset. Her blog started many years ago as a beauty blog, but in the past few years, it has expanded to include all sorts of topics, including food, travel, home, and pets. On the blog, you can expect to find plenty of product reviews, lifestyle tips and tricks, and seasonal gift guides.
Twitter Ellie’s Little World (@Elliesworldx) / Twitter
Instagram Ellie (@ellieslittleworldxox) • Instagram photos and videos
Sophie – Starting today blog
Why I loved checking out Sophie’s blog
Please all go take a look at this blog! It is aesthetically pleasing and the images on the website are amazing. To write this post, I had a look around the site and I am impressed with what I found. Sophie covers lifestyle and photography on the blog, and you will find some amazing images scattered throughout her blog posts.
A little bit about Sophie
Sophie is a freelance photographer who looks at life philosophically. She has always been creative, but hid from her creativity for so long, afraid it was a negative aspect of her character. Now she embraces it. Her blog, Starting Today, is a place where she shares her thoughts, vision, and passions. She combines photography, poetry, and writing to share her lifestyle and thoughts. Uniquely ambitious, with a zest for life, she loves to encourage others to be themselves, always.
You find Sophie on Twitter. She is also on Instagram, YouTube, LinkedIn, Facebook.
Jess – Prosecco Mum
Why I loved checking out Jess’ blog
I love this blog! When you land on the homepage, you feel at home and in a safe parenting space. The pictures remind me of my parenting journey, and I love how honest Jess is about the ups and downs of mummy life, whilst being a working mum. You will also find a range of lifestyle topics and reviews of the local area.
A little bit about Jess
Not your ordinary mummy blogger. Established 2014, still no clue about parenting. Totally owned by her kids.
Welcome to my guest post on Understanding Play Therapy: Benefits and Techniques. Read on for more details about the author.
Introduction
Play therapy is a form of psychotherapy primarily used to help children express their emotions, improve their communication skills, and resolve psychosocial issues through play. Renowned experts such as Garry Landreth and Charles E. Schaefer have significantly contributed to the development and understanding of this therapeutic approach. This article explores what play therapy is, its benefits, and the techniques used in practice.
What is Play Therapy?
Play therapy leverages the natural way children learn about themselves and their relationships in the world: through play. Unlike traditional talk therapy, which may be challenging for young children, play therapy provides a developmentally appropriate way for children to express their thoughts and feelings. According to the Australian Psychological Society, play therapy is an effective method to help children cope with emotional stress, trauma, and behavioural issues.
Why is Play Therapy Beneficial?
1. Expression of Emotions: Play therapy provides a safe environment for children to express their emotions. Children often lack the verbal skills to articulate their feelings. Through play, they can demonstrate what they might not be able to say with words.
2. Behavioural Insights: Therapists can gain insights into a child’s behaviour and emotions by observing their play patterns. This helps in identifying underlying issues that might be affecting the child’s behaviour.
3. Problem-Solving Skills: Play therapy helps children develop problem-solving skills and learn how to deal with various situations in a healthy way.
Want to guest post on my blog? All the details you need are here.
I also have two other blogs. I am happy to accept posts from one person, for all three blogs –
4. Enhanced Communication: It fosters better communication between the child and the therapist, and often with family members, improving overall relationships.
5. Emotional Healing: For children who have experienced trauma, play therapy can be particularly effective in providing emotional healing. It allows them to process and make sense of their experiences in a non-threatening manner.
Techniques in Play Therapy
Various techniques are used in play therapy, each tailored to meet the needs of the child. Notable researchers like Garry Landreth and Charles E. Schaefer have identified several key techniques that have proven effective:
1. Non-Directive Play Therapy: Also known as child-centred play therapy, this technique involves allowing the child to lead the play session. The therapist provides a safe and nurturing environment and observes the child’s play to understand their needs and feelings. Garry Landreth, a pioneer in this approach, emphasizes the importance of allowing the child to take the lead, fostering a sense of control and empowerment.
2. Directive Play Therapy: In this approach, the therapist takes a more active role in guiding the play. This can include setting specific goals for the sessions and introducing certain activities or toys that are designed to address particular issues. Techniques might involve role-playing, storytelling, or using structured games.
A summary of the other guest posts I wrote for other people
3. Sand Tray Therapy: This involves the use of a sandbox and miniature figures. Children create scenes in the sand, which can help them express and explore their feelings and experiences in a symbolic way. This technique can be particularly useful for children who have difficulty verbalizing their emotions.
4. Art Therapy: Using art materials such as paints, crayons, and clay, children create artworks that can reveal their inner thoughts and emotions. This technique is beneficial for children who may find it easier to express themselves visually rather than verbally.
5. Puppet Play: Puppets can serve as tools for children to project their feelings and experiences onto another entity. This can help them distance themselves from difficult emotions and discuss them more freely.
6. Therapeutic Storytelling: Creating and sharing stories can help children process their experiences and understand their feelings. The therapist might tell a story that mirrors the child’s own experiences or encourage the child to create their own story.
Conclusion
Play therapy is a powerful tool in helping children navigate their emotional and psychological landscapes. Through the pioneering work of experts like Garry Landreth and Charles E. Schaefer, play therapy has evolved into a respected and effective therapeutic approach. By providing a safe and supportive environment for children to express themselves through play, therapists can help children develop the skills they need to thrive emotionally and socially. Whether through non-directive play, sand tray therapy, or art and puppet play, the techniques of play therapy offer invaluable support for children’s mental health and well-being.
Author bio
The Three Seas Psychology is Melbourne’s hub for people seeking comprehensive mental health support from skilled & caring psychologists in Melbourne. Our Psychologist’s Approach to Therapy is all about collaboration with other mental health professionals, especially GPs. A client-centred approach which is humanistic in nature. We focus on ethical, caring, high-quality care.
My online blogging journey began in July 2021. It was born out of hitting rock bottom and feeling compelled to help other people facing mental health struggles. I just had to write down my thoughts and feelings, and sharing my story aided my recovery. Now I am working on my third blog launch.
Needless to say, my writing journey began way back. I still have boxes full of poems and diaries I scribbled in and shoved away in our storage cupboard. I really should dig them out and do something with them! I’ve always considered myself a writer at heart. Writing is my method of communication. It’s how I express myself. Writing helps me process my emotions.
Don’t get me wrong, I still have bad days. Even bad weeks. Everything gets on top of me no matter how hard I try to prevent it. I still have unhealthy outbursts around those I love, because I allow anxiety to take over. However, no human is perfect. We are all flawed and the difference now, is I don’t beat myself up about my downfalls. Instead, I learn from it and move on.
So how have I turned this ability into something I do each day? A passion that has taken over my life, in the best way possible?
I don’t do anything by halves. I never have done. My university days were spent burning the candle at both ends for three years. And as a result, almost seriously quit three times. From there, my life carried on in much the same fashion. A constant pattern of, running around like a superwoman, with lack of sleep, high anxiety, believing I could tackle the world. My blogging journey is no different.
The only difference is, that I am now a transformed person, who can manage my anxiety better. It hasn’t gone away, and it probably never will. However, I now look after my well-being daily. I make myself a priority. Hitting rock bottom has forced me to admit I cannot take on the world and I need a job with fewer hours, so I can focus on my little girl more.
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Time to review the way I live my life
Admitting you are not superwoman, when you’re predisposed to believe it, is a hard pill to swallow. However, hitting rock bottom was the best thing that could have ever happened to me.
Following my mental breakdown, I was forced to stop and take stock of my life. My mind and body wouldn’t allow any other mode than ‘go slow’. The only way to recover was daily self-care, medication, and self-love. By being brutally honest with myself and those closest to me, about my years of stress and anxiety. And telling the truth about what it did to me.
Don’t get me wrong, I still have bad days. Even bad weeks. Everything gets on top of me no matter how hard I try to prevent it. I still have unhealthy outbursts around those I love, because I allow anxiety to take over. However, no human is perfect. We are all flawed and the difference now, is I don’t beat myself up about my downfalls. Instead, I learn from it and move on.
In summary, I’ve set up two blogs and I am working on my third. However, I am confident I will know when a rest is required. When a long soak in the bath is to be favoured over writing a blog post.
You can be a certain personality type, even honour this, but also honour yourself and take care of your needs.
When you suffer the impact of a mental breakdown, you can’t ever go back to the person you were before. You’ve lived through the hard lessons already. It makes you a pro at detecting your stress levels are rising, and it’s time for some much-needed recharge time.
How do you manage your stress levels? I would love to know the techniques you use! Let me know in the comments below
I can’t wait to launch my third blog, in the meantime, you can view all my blog posts here. You can sign up for my freebie library here and you can check out the social media accounts for my second blog here.
Welcome to my post about Paddleboarding in the Lake District. My review of Jo Moseley’s second book, with stunning images and helpful information to get started.
Quick note: Some of the links contained on this page are affiliate links and if you go through them to make a purchase, I will earn a commission. I only recommend products I use myself and think would be useful for other people.
Jo’s background and why it matters
If you’ve read any previous posts on this blog or viewed my social media accounts, you will know I am a huge fan of rising from the ashes after facing adversity. It’s how this blog was born! And I encourage everyone else to change their situation for the better – when they can.
Jo’s backstory is one of adversity, followed by a growing passion for exercise, which became some of the most amazing achievements.
In May 2013, I found myself sobbing in the biscuit aisle of Tesco’s, looking at the chocolate Hob Nobs and wondering how my life had come to this. I was 48, a busy working Mum, flying solo with my boys.
Both my parents were undergoing chemotherapy at the time and I was overwhelmed, anxious and desperate for a good night’s sleep. What I didn’t realise was that I was going through the early stages of the perimenopause at the time.
I can relate to this quote. At nearly 40 years old, I finally feel the most confident and free I ever have. But it’s been many years of adversity in the making.
I pride myself on being organised, and what I love about Jo’s book is the detail. You will find coordinates on specific places you can set off on your paddleboard. When reading, you can be safe knowing Jo has already done it and therefore, you are safe.
You can easily use the book as a guide. Like a map. If you’re visiting a specific part of the Lake District and you are taking your paddleboard along, you can be sure there will be instructions on how you set off on your paddleboard and experience the freeing feeling of nature.
I love this section of the book because it is filled with honesty about how to get started. When we start a new hobby, we often default to buying things, but Jo suggests starting with paddleboarding lessons to see how you like the activity.
From a confidence perspective, I love that this section exists. Often when you start a new physical activity, confidence and knowing how to start are the two most important things. The things that would literally stop you from completing the first step. This section of the book reduces the fear and anxiety you can experience when deciding to try something new.
You can check out my other blogs here. And I write about my love of running on the Roaring Pumpkin blog.
Where to park, eat and drink
Aren’t these the most important aspects of any trip? Where to get your snacks – much-needed fuel for any exercise and parking or where to stay in a hotel, is the most vital information. And it’s the first thing I look at when planning my trip. It’s great that Jo includes these all important details in the book.
The photos
For anyone who has visited The Lakes before, you will know the images are simply stunning. And the photos included in Jo’s book are a joy to look at.
In the images, she looks so happy and free and these images inspire anyone wanting to try paddleboarding.
Head over and check them out. It’s great to have my writing on other people’s sites. Follow me on Twitter for updates on my guest posts.
Read all about why I started a TikTok account here.
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A summary of my recent writing on other platforms
In recent months I’ve also expanded where I publish my writing. Some of what I want to say doesn’t fit with the topics on this blog and it’s refreshing to publish on another platform.
By offering a guest post slot on my blog for other people, I felt like I was giving something back. I honestly felt emotional and proud to host some of the amazing writing I will talk about in this post.
And best of all, I got feedback like this:
Just wanted to extend my sincerest thanks to you for posting my content on your blog. I feel like it’s been very well received, and I so appreciate your help with getting the conversation and message out there. Please don’t hesitate to reach out in the future if there’s ever another project I can help with. Thanks for the great work that you do.
Guest posting is a way for us to strengthen our relationships in the blogging world. To support one another and share in our talents. For this reason, guest posts are still open on my blog and you can send your ideas using this form.
But I also wanted to dedicate a blog post to talking about the benefits of guest posting
Your writing can be seen by a wider audience, especially if you’re new to blogging
The reality is, not many people will see your writing when you start publishing. But don’t be disheartened! Google ranking takes time. Social media promotion can be tedious, but it also pays off. After three months I saw the results of my hard work.
Think of it like this. If you don’t tell anyone you’re writing is there, how will they know? Imagine the millions of Google searches each day and how hard it is to find one specific piece of writing. You have to trust the process.
You will make lasting connections with other bloggers
Some of the relationships I’ve formed by communicating with other bloggers via email are valued to this day. It’s refreshing to make contact via another communication method, other than Twitter. It’s also lovely to chat with other creative minds about your writing and get feedback.
Improving your domain authority (DA) score
For anyone who doesn’t know (I didn’t when I first started blogging) I am going to trust another source with explaining. I am not the most technical person, hehe!
Definition: Domain Authority (DA) is a metric created by the SEO consulting and research company Moz which measures a website’s likelihood to rank on search engines. “Authority” is often used outside of Moz’s metric to describe a domain’s relative “strength,” determined in large part by their backlink portfolio.
Domain Authority is used as a predictive measure for PageRank, Google’s proprietary algorithm that plays a major role in determining search engine results. Due to the shroud of secrecy around PageRank, Moz’s DA metric is widely considered to be one of the best third party tools for evaluating domain strength.
MY DA score started off low, but jumped to 15 after three months of immense hard work, day and night. And now it’s at 22. Backlinks from higher authority websites will improve your DA score. Who wouldn’t want to do that? Whilst also building lasting relationships.
A summary of the guest posts I wrote for other people
Head over and check them out. It’s great to have my writing on other people’s sites. Follow me on Twitter for updates on my guest posts.
A summary of my recent writing on other platforms
In recent months I’ve also expanded where I publish my writing. Some of what I want to say doesn’t fit with the topics on this blog and it’s refreshing to publish on another platform.
Thank you to Jason for providing Part Two of this wonderful story. It is important we raise awareness of these issues. If you missed part one, you can click on the button below to access this:
Back when I began writing my first book (OCDad: Learning to Be a Parent with a Mental Health Disorder – read about it here!). I had a mantra that I kept repeating throughout the project: practical, not profound…practical, not profound.
The reason for that mantra was simple: I knew my situation as a parent with a mental health disorder wasn’t unique. I’m not saying my situation was insignificant. But I knew I couldn’t be the only one out there looking for practical ways to manage my mental health. And be a good, reliable parent at the same time. I personally, only wanted to engage with posts and resources that gave me relatable, practical advice. The advice I could use in my real life.
Therapy is a process, not a lifestyle. At some point, it’s important to take what you’ve learned and get back out into the world to give it a try.
My desire to help other people
To that end, I wanted to take a bit of time to share some key points from my notes and experiences. This information is for those who either can’t engage with a full-length book at the moment (no judgment, honestly…I’ve been there, too). Or who are just looking for some supplemental information along with their parenting and mental health journeys? This being the case, here are some thoughts on the practicalities of managing mental health treatment and parenting in tandem.
Some Practicalities of Accessing Therapy When You’re a Parent
I always say parenting and therapy are difficult to manage together because they demand the same resources: time, money, emotional energy, and meaningful attention. Parenthood is also a challenging time to put oneself first. After all, you have at least one tiny human in your life who is utterly dependent on you for survival. And, later, for playtimes, questions, discussions, and fort-building. It’s a tough balance, and it needs to be approached with intention whenever possible.
With that goal in mind, let’s turn first to some of the obstacles to accessing therapy as a parent, and then to a few starting ideas about what you can do to help yourself, and your loved ones:
Time
This is one of the most common reasons people use for turning down lots of different commitments, parents or otherwise. I was worried therapy would be an all-encompassing drain on my time, but that was an untested assumption. It’s not as if it only took a few minutes per week, but it wasn’t overwhelming either.
Here are some specific numbers that might help. For the first two months, I went to therapy once every two or three weeks for one hour. I was fortunate to be able to schedule appointments outside of my work hours. But for those who can’t do that, many therapy services now work online, and at odd hours. For the time required to journal and complete my therapy exercises at home, my time commitments looked like this:
First three months: thirty to forty-five minutes per day, five to six days per week
Three months to six months: thirty minutes per day, four to five days per week
Six months to one year: thirty minutes per day, three to four days per week
One year onward: journaling two to three times per week, and therapy exercises as needed
Pin this article for later? Don’t forget to also pin Part one
Your journey could be different – read on for more tips
Remember, those are my numbers, not yours. Some people might need more time, others will need less. I should also note that the gradual tapering of my therapy was due, in part, to my therapist’s recommendation. Therapy is a process, not a lifestyle. At some point, it’s important to take what you’ve learned and get back out into the world to give it a try.
In terms of the time at home for journaling and exercises, I’ll admit, it was a struggle sometimes. There were plenty of days where time for therapy simply went out the window, but there were also some strategies that helped. Here is a list of my top five:
Keep the right mindset from the start. For a time, therapy will likely have to replace something in your life. In my case, I modified the frequency and intensity of my workout schedule and readjusted my down time in the evenings. I also allocated funds for my therapy knowing that it was a necessary investment. Honestly, I didn’t want to do any of those things, but I wanted to heal more than I wanted money and down time.
Trade off driving responsibilities on long road trips and complete some journaling or written CBT exercises.
Watch less TV. Yes, sorry, it’s true. Even one less episode of something per night can really add up. I cut out TV a few nights per week for therapy exercises for the first year of my treatment. It helped. A lot.
Take advantage of any family support and babysitting you can access. It’s OK if you don’t want to disclose your therapy journey to other people, but you can always spend a bit of your release time in a cafe with a workbook, or on the phone with a therapist. Every bit of time helps.
Trade off on rest and chore times with your partner. For example, maybe your partner can manage evening clean-up while you do your therapy exercises in exchange for a bit of sleep in time the next morning.
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Why therapy is worth it
As I’m sure you can see, I viewed (and still view) therapy as work; important, life-altering work, but still work. I don’t think it’s wrong to admit that. The fact is, therapy takes time and effort. With time and effort comes results, but also some inevitable sacrifices. I don’t mention that to be pessimistic, or to deter anyone in their therapy journey. I say it so that you can have a realistic idea of what you’re signing up for when you start therapy as a parent. There are drawbacks, but there are so many benefits. In the next section, we’re going to look at an example of each of those.
Exposure Response with Prevention therapy (ERP)
Exposure Response with Prevention therapy (ERP) is the process of gradually exposing yourself to things that trigger your obsessions. To lessen the intensity of your reactions and reconceptualize the source and function of your intrusive thoughts. It sounds swell and helpful, and for the most part, it is.
Here’s something I learned the hard way, though: not all exposures work for parents and families. That was one of my biggest frustrations with every resource I read when I first started my treatment. I remember thinking, ‘Great, this exposure stuff is going to work brilliantly for my obsession about heights and suicidal OCD, but what about my obsessions about my kids?’ There was no way I was going to expose my sons to gradually increasing levels of contaminants, greater heights, or more dangerous water settings. Just so I could prove to myself that I could feel more comfortable with them being at risk. Luckily, I found a solution that worked well: imaginal exposures.
Imaginal Exposures
Imaginal exposures are exactly what they sound like. Exposing yourself to a distressing situation by imagining it and writing it out. That might sound like a strange process, but I think it has a lot of advantages. For one thing, you can confront any intrusive thought you want with no actual risk to you or your loved ones. Second, you can control when and how the exposure takes place. There are no concerns about making noise, leaving the house, spending money, or any other logistical demand you can think of, other than time and attention.
A warning when working through exposures
That’s not to say, of course, that imaginal exposures are easy. The first time I tried one, I broke down crying because I went straight to imagining my most difficult kid-based obsessions. Such as seeing my sons fall from a high balcony. I didn’t realize that imaginal exposures work just like real-world exposures. They need to be conducted slowly, regularly, and in progressive steps.
It would’ve made far more sense to start by writing out an exposure about my son falling from the couch, then maybe a couple of stairs, then maybe a small park climber. If you’ve never done an exposure with the help of a qualified therapist, MAKE SURE you read about how to create an exposure hierarchy first. This page and this page will help get you started. DON’T go any further without reading both those pages (seriously, don’t).
With that caution in mind, here are the instructions I used for my imaginal exposures:
Imaginal Exposure Instructions
Select a trigger from your exposure ladder that you either can’t or don’t want to try in real life.
Choose a scenario where this trigger plays out most often.
Write out the scenario as vividly and powerfully as you can. If possible, include a description from all five senses.
Re-read your imaginal exposure often, and read it out loud.
Sometimes, the best you can do is reflect on a moment that didn’t go well and prepare for next time.
Next, a couple of reflection points from my experience with imaginal exposures:
I did my best to limit my imaginal exposures to one page of writing. The point of this exercise is to confront a scenario that you repeatedly see in your mind. Not to imagine all kinds of other bizarre and irrational ways the situation could play out. I also found I had to be cautious about not letting my mind wander too much. I also found my exposures had to be repeated until they became easy or boring, and that often took several repetitions.
Say it out loud
Also, step 4 in the instructions is worth repeating. Read your written exposures out loud, if possible. Seriously. Reading my imaginal exposures out loud helped me process them in a completely different way. It took away so much of their influence over my mind and emotions. More so than writing alone, and infinitely more than keeping the exposure in my head.
Now, let me be clear about something – it was an immensely uncomfortable exercise at first. I didn’t even want to write out an imaginal exposure, let alone read it out loud. And I was always worried that someone else was going to hear me and think I was crazy. Eventually, I decided to give it a try.
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Starting exposures
I waited until my boys were out on a walk with my wife and her friend, and then I locked myself in my room, opened the imaginal exposure, and read it; quietly, but out loud. Have you ever had one of those moments where you explain an idea to someone and then realize that the idea made a lot more sense in your head than it does out loud? It was a lot like that. To this day, I’m so glad I took that uncomfortable leap, and I have therapy to thank for the push.
Drawback: CBT and ERP Don’t Always Work in the Moment (at least not right away)
Sometimes, even with all the progress I’ve made, my symptoms still get the better of me. Whether it’s a compulsion that slips through my net or an anxious reaction to an unexpected trigger, sudden flare-ups just happen.
I remember one incident, about a year into my treatment, when my wife and I took the boys to a park near our house. The park was lined with oak trees, and acorns were strewn all over the ground. I had just worked through an exaggerated threat exercise about fears of my boys choking at mealtime, and I was feeling good about my progress.
Then, all of a sudden, one of my sons picked up an acorn and put it in his mouth. I lost it. I ran over to him, took the acorn out of his mouth, put him in the stroller, and insisted to my wife that we relocate our playtime to somewhere with no acorns. She and the boys were understandably stressed and confused. Mealtimes were no longer a trigger for obsessions about choking, but evidently, park time was, at least when there were acorns around.
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After that incident, I did the only thing I could do. Apologized to my wife, forgave myself for the lapse, and completed more exercises to help process my obsession in that situation. Over time, I started using a specific set of questions to reflect on these kinds of incidents:
Momentary Lapse Reflection
What happened?
How did I react?
Why did I react that way?
What were the pros and cons of my reaction?
How should I change my reaction if this situation comes up again?
Taking some intentional reflection time after momentary lapses was helpful and productive. I didn’t have time to debrief every disagreeable situation. But it was great to have a resource available for when I needed it. The next time we went to the park, I mentally prepared myself to manage the trigger of the acorns. And I had a much more balanced reaction when my boys tried to pick them up. Sometimes, the best you can do is reflect on a moment that didn’t go well and prepare for next time.
Summary
So, there you have it. A very brief glimpse into the practicalities of managing therapy and parenting. If you would like to know more, please visit my website – http://www.theocdad.ca – and get in touch. This conversation is a long and personal one, and there are so many ways therapy and OCD challenge each of us. The key, in my opinion, is the same key that brings change and results in any other setting: consistent effort. If you ever feel your efforts waning, just know that you’re not alone. Ever.
Fighting forward.
Jason Adams
Final thoughts from me
I want to thank Jason for writing this post and highlighting these important issues. I know how difficult it is to discuss such personal topics. However, we must do. To help other people, we must speak out.
Please head over and check out Jason’s website and social media accounts.
Thank you all for taking the time to read and comment on these posts. Part one can be found here if you missed it.
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