Since having a baby, I get it – there are not enough hours in the day. Quality family time sometimes comes bottom of the list, but it’s up to us to prioritse it!
I thought I was busy before kids (probably busy getting enough sleep & pampering myself. Those were the days).
Due to the excitement caused by my newfound love of blogging, and my existing anxiety issues, it’s easy to forget to switch off for family time. I am currently getting swept up in a world of online kindness from the mental health and mummy blogging community, and it’s addictive.
That said, we all need a cut-off point…
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I’ve created a list for you…
Here are a few of the tips I’ve been trying out to ensure we all have a happy home life and there is a balance between work-life and home-life.
1. Device-free time
At 7 pm we put our phones away and have quality family time. By this, I mean no distractions. We play with our little girl, dance, sing, and jump on the bed. We enjoy bath time and have fun. It’s lovely. We are all fully present at that moment in time and thoroughly enjoy each other’s company. We have at least two hours each day of one-on-one attention and I believe this is what young children need.
At the time of writing this, we’ve just been flipping soft play food in the pan, as Daddy Pig does with the pancakes (anyone who understands this, thanks for being on the same wavelength as me).
2. A positive attitude
However tired the hubby & I are, we try our best to create a happy home vibe in the evenings (easier said than done if one of us is moody or angry, but we try!).
We do our best to be kind to each other and not lose our temper. A negative vibe doesn’t make for quality family time.
If one of us is unable to change our mood, we have some alone time. My ultimate dream is to have a bath with this.
“I am going to switch off now and talk about something else”
3. Relaxing drinks
Whether it be a glass of red wine or herbal tea this is my fave one.
We have something to make us feel good, without feeling bad about it.
Admittedly, drinking alcohol during the week only serves to make me more zombie-like. But there are occasional moments where a toddler tests you so much, only a vodka will solve your problems.
Everyone is different, whatever drink you enjoy, take some time and look after yourself.
4. A nap
In our house, we tend to go to bed late (the toddler decides the time, not us, and yes we have tried all the sleeping techniques going. She is just nosy and strong-minded, hehe) and wake up early. This means during the week, we barely get enough sleep to function. If anyone has any outside-the-box strategies you’ve tried, please comment below. HELP!
Since having a child, I believe naps can benefit you hugely. They are essential to ensuring quality family time is a top priority.
Just laying down and curing those aches for a while, closing your eyes, switching off, and resetting yourself. It does wonders for us personally (I am more prone to unhealthy anxiety levels when I don’t get enough sleep) and as a family.
Still with me after the nap?
We have a few more points to cover on quality family time…
5. A healthy, enjoyable meal
We’ve always been good at meal planning and cooking in the evenings (although we don’t manage to get tea organised as quickly as I would like). The slow cooker is your friend, this is the one we use Using it means we can switch off, have quiet time, a nap, or go for a walk, without worrying about watching the oven.
Quality family time to me means eating together and enjoying a meal. It’s an important time of the day.
We are trying to cook healthy, nutritious meals that we can also give to our little girl (luckily she has a varied diet at nursery and therefore likes most foods – see how long this lasts).
6. Switch off from work
We’ve all been there – it’s easy to get stuck in work mode. To rant about something or someone who annoyed you that day. At the height of my career (when I was starting a new relationship & before kids), I was working 12 hour days and barely talking to my now Hubby when I returned home (I hope I never have to do it again – time to hopefully prioritse family time from now on).
We’ve found the key is to openly say, “I am going to switch off now and talk about something else”. Maybe try a small breathing exercise together (hubby does this mostly to help my anxiety I think) and put the drama out of our head and our precious family-time.
What’s the point in worrying about something you can’t change until the next day. Simply put, It’s not worth it! Try to live in the moment and be fully present.
7. A nice bath or some quiet time
If we can, we all take some quiet time. Luckily we have an independent toddler and therefore the feeling is mutual when it comes to alone time.
Whether it is time away from the toddler, to play phone games, read, visit the gym, or see our friends (we try our best to set aside time, even if it’s 10-20 minutes per day).
8. Something good to watch on TV
We have the usual binge-watching box sets which are for family time only (we would be in trouble if we dared watch the programme alone. It’s like a relationship violation).
Watching TV allows us to switch off, relax and quiet our brains for a while. I believe in small doses, it can be beneficial. With a toddler running around playing musical instruments, we only get small doses these days. We have to save film watching for when she sleeps at the grandparents.
9. Be kind to each other and ourselves (LOTS of self-care)
It’s easy after a long day of working to snap at each other and get stuck in moody mode.
As mentioned above, it’s sometimes incredibly difficult to snap out of it when you’re in the midst of toddler madness and return from a tough day at work.
Since my ongoing recovery from rock bottom, doing simple things has made me feel better and sometimes turned a day from negative to positive. I, therefore, see the value in a 20-minute bath (I am now suggesting it for the hubby as well and not just me). We both report sleeping better and just feeling more relaxed in general.
I love using these bath salts and face masks. I want to get in a bubble bath right now please!
if you’re feeling energetic during family time, see my blog post, A list of 20 children’s activities absolutely essential for improving adult mental health.
Final thoughts on quality family time
My baby is growing up fast and it’s a fact, nothing in life is certain. We try our best to live each day to the fullest and enjoy each other’s company, sealing our lasting bond with one another (cheesy I know!).
I am personally trying to carve out a life where I work from home, choose my hours, spend time with my little pumpkin, and make room in our lives for another child. It’s clear to me now another child would be incredibly difficult to manage without some sacrifices. I don’t want those sacrifices to be made because I am out of the house, traveling to a workplace where I am not supported, and working 40 hours per week.
Who knows what the future holds. I just know the work-life balance must to central to the decision.
I have a goal in sight, let’s see what happens…
I would love to hear from you if you’re dealing with a similar juggling act in life. Please feel free to comment below.
Lots of love
