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SPOILER ALERT – at the end of this post there will be a 15% discount code for any purchases of this unique and quirky product
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Why I love unique and quirky gifts
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Father’s day
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Read on for another huge surprise at the end of this post
A bit about Do Us A Ditty
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In this article I explore why mummy and baby care is important and the barriers currently in place to achieving this.
Quick note: Mummy Conquering Anxiety is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program. Some of the links contained on this page are affiliate links and if you go through them to make a purchase, I will earn a commission. I only recommend products I use myself and thinkwould be useful for you.
What is mummy and baby care?
My definition
If the mother is well looked after, the baby will be. If the baby is happy, the mother is happy. There is nothing worse than seeing your child in pain or not thriving. But how do you cope with this when you’re not at your best self either.
In this article I aim to explore this topic.
Whilst mother and baby care sounds amazing, I just don’t think it happens currently.
To me, caring for both mother and baby means separate care for both parties and caring for one another. When you Google the term, you are met with several results which talk all about “massage” and “wellness” for the expectant mother.
I also believe it means a wider family group caring for both parties. In the lead-up to pregnancy, people often offer to pay for massages for the mother, anything which will help with the physical burden of carrying an almost full-sized baby.
How many birth announcements say “mother and baby doing well”? There is no avoiding the fact that following birth, it’s usually a birthing partner or another person who has to take control of things. I was certainly not my best self following the birth of my little one, and we need to acknowledge this is completely normal. Mothers should feel like they can rest and recover, without feeling guilty.
I am on a mission to talk about the reality of birth. And unfortunately, mummy care wasn’t something I experienced in the hospital. The other mothers on the ward didn’t appear to either. It was my hubby who took control during my time on the maternity ward and I felt truly cared for when I returned home. I felt safe. I was back in my environment. I can understand why expectant mothers opt for home births. But then this raises the issue of what happens when there are complications. For me, a home birth wouldn’t have worked, because I had to be rushed into an emergency c section.
Based on my own experience, you don’t need to give birth to a baby in order to form a bond. However, if you were the one who gave birth, the physical and emotional demands can be heavy.
Is there an equal balance between mummy and baby care?
Is there a balance between care for the mother and care for the baby?
Going through the pregnancy and birth stages, in my opinion, no there isn’t. The responsibility is placed on the mother, to care for and feed for the baby. This is due to physical demands and also the fact the mother is, unavoidably the nurturer.
That said, I do think a birthing partner can have a huge impact on those early stages. In my earlier blog posts, I talk about the fact I was unable to go see our little one and it was my hubby who visited her in the baby unit. They now have a strong bond because of those early days. He looked after us both at the time. Based on my own experience, you don’t need to give birth to a baby to form a bond. However, if you were the one who gave birth, the physical and emotional demands can be heavy.
All things considered, I don’t think there is much room for mummy care in the early days. However, I was lucky to receive some form of rest when I returned home because my hubby ended up with a month off work. Paternity and annual leave fell at exactly the right time!
But what about the women who don’t have this level of support?
During my breakdown, I sometimes felt like asking the doctor whether I should break my leg because then I wouldn’t be accused of being dishonest to stay off work. It’s just not good enough.
The reality for the mother
Physical changes
I struggled during my pregnancy, due to sickness, working full time, and severe hip pain. I also nearly fainted every day in the office at work, because I run hot anyway. It was a pretty grim time and I discuss it here.
Honestly, I can’t remember a single day during the pregnancy phase where I felt happy. I felt worn down and depressed for most of my pregnancy. I have never felt tiredness like it in my life.
Hormonal changes
I’m now surprised to read the science says hormonal changes remain for up to a year after pregnancy. This means the timescale for ‘giving your body over’ to create life is more like two years at least. The no alcohol, better diet, creation stage, the actual pregnancy. Dealing with irrational thoughts for at least a year!
It may sound cliche or you may think I’ve truly gone mad, but it is all worth it. This is not to say you come away unscathed though.
You can never be the same person again. In some respects I’m glad, in others I would change it if I could. I would change the niggling hip and back pain I still get after an epidural. By the way, no health professional wants to acknowledge it’s even a thing. I got told “all effects will be over in six weeks” and I think it’s a BS reply. But this rant is for another day, another post.
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Huge shift in lifestyle
I went from working full time, being a career woman, the highest earner in the house, to a stay-at-home mum on maternity leave. The change for me couldn’t have been more drastic. This gigantic shift in routine alone would cause potential mental health problems for the average person. Add this to the other burdens a new mother faces and you can see why it’s tough. And why new mothers are more likely to develop mental health issues.
Being responsible for a helpless tiny human being is a lot for one person to take on. I discuss in this post how I felt like I would drop our little one on the floor and was scared to allow germs into the house.
Why does mother and baby care matter?
Let’s revisit my definition – If the mother is well looked after, the baby will be. If the baby is happy, the mother is happy. There is nothing worse than seeing your child in pain or not thriving. But how do you cope with this when you’re not at your best self either.
I’ve been less than my best self on many occasions throughout the process of pregnancy and motherhood. I want to send a message out to all parents. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that. It’s normal and mothers do an amazing job each day, under sometimes impossible conditions.
Caring for the new mother matters just as much as caring for a baby. However, in reality, most families don’t have the time or means to satisfy both. We plodded along. Thankfully I have great parents who help us out. It’s only now, we are at the toddler stage, that things are getting a bit easier in terms of independent play and us as adults having time to spend together and do normal things again.
Because of the impact, the first pregnancy had on me, and therefore us as a family. Naturally, I am reluctant to go through that process again. My hubby asked me the other day whether I would be less reluctant to have another baby if money wasn’t a factor and I said I didn’t know. My decision is unfortunately warped by the negative experiences I had the first time around.
What information is out there on the subject?
When researching this post, I was unsurprised to find pages and pages of Google information which focused solely on the physical changes a mother goes through. What I want to see is a useful article talking about emotional and mental stressors and how to handle this. Thank you to Tommy’s for including a section related to mental health.
I mean, a doctor wouldn’t review your broken leg without asking whether you need pain medication, time off work, and emotional support. With a side note to check your mental health is not suffering, due to the pain. Why then, aren’t we offering the same to women with serious mental health conditions as a result of pregnancy? During my breakdown, I sometimes felt like asking the doctor whether I should break my leg because then I wouldn’t be accused of being dishonest to stay off work. It’s just not good enough.
Striking a balance during difficult financial circumstances
Fast forward to the inevitable financial impact pregnancy and the birthing stage has on a mother. In the UK we have a maternity and childcare system that is very much geared towards the mother taking care of the child. For this to change, government policies would need to change, and I hope this happens.
At the time of writing this article, the government has announced a support package for young families and I am pleased to say it includes an allocation of money dedicated to mental health services. But I agree with the recent criticism that more needs to be done.
The downside to the UK childcare system
In the UK, you can claim statutory maternity pay for up to nine months. To add some context here, months 5-9 for me were paid at a third of my usual income. The nursery wanted a full payment as a deposit upfront. Therefore we had to meet this whilst I was on maternity leave. We still had the same bills to pay, with a drastic loss of income.
A day at any nursery costs between £40.00 and £55.00 in the UK. Unless you have an amazing, top-level job, putting a child into nursery full time and working comes down to a debate about money and whether it is worth it. Many women in the UK have to face this reality each day.
A possible solution?
I’ve just watched this TED Talk and honestly, I think what is proposed is a great solution to the childcare problem. It’s clear lack of affordable childcare isn’t just an issue that impacts the UK.
How in 2021 are we still not giving babies the best possible start in life?
Lack of childcare or the heavy price tag is yet another factor adding to the existing burden of having a new baby. Add this to the mental impact, physical constraints, and hormones. I mean, it would be easier to ask what a mother doesn’t have to worry about.
The upside to the UK childcare system
We do receive 15-30 hours’ worth of free childcare when a child reaches three years old. How many hours you get within the bracket depends on whether you need term time care only. For example, if you are a teacher and have all the school holidays off work to care for your child, you wouldn’t need to put them in the nursery during those periods. Therefore, you would get 30 hours for the remaining weeks of the year. Unless one of us decides to apply for a job in a school, we will receive 15 hours per week.
It’s no secret we have struggled financially waiting to reach this marker. Whilst it’s not as simple as making demands on a government, I do think this age needs to be lowered to two years old. If the aim is to encourage more women in the UK to seek out high positions in their workplace and carve out a career path, which isn’t interrupted by pregnancy and the aftermath of birth.
In the UK we also have a shared parental leave scheme. I don’t think the scheme is advertised enough. And there is widespread criticism of the scheme. Many groups would like a revised scheme. My hubby and I would use the scheme if we have a second child. However, I know that little about it, I don’t even know if our employers would say yes. The government needs to create a revised plan where parents feel empowered to make that choice, and know exactly what steps to take to make it happen. How wonderful it could be, that parents get to spend an equal amount of time with a new baby.
When bringing a second child into the world, I also hope it doesn’t come down to a choice between one of us working or not working. We both want our independence, to earn money, to give our child the benefit of development in a nursery setting. We also want to spend time together as a family. Currently, in the UK, it’s pretty impossible to achieve this.
Changes in society
Surely dads, partners, other parties caring for the child want to participate in the early stages of the baby’s life. Let’s all open our minds to the fact any loving parents can care for a child, it doesn’t just have to be the mother. What I’m saying here is a societal change in mindset must happen to make every scenario acceptable when thinking about who can care for a child.
My hubby talks about getting funny looks when he went to Mothercare alone to buy some clothes when our little one was in the baby unit. I couldn’t go because I was unable to walk at the time, following my c section. He was also the only male to join our nursery Facebook group.
I do think this stigma is still prevalent and it makes me sad. My hubby wants to care for our little girl just as much as I do and we are struggling to try and make this happen. I must acknowledge, I love to see the dad bloggers on Twitter talking from their perspective. It makes me happy, we are starting to see a balance. Good on you Dads!
Let’s give some shout-outs to ALL parental figures in society
It takes a village – this is so true!
But I also want to shout out the dads, extended family members, grandparents who take control of the care for their grandchildren. Same-sex couples, adoptive parents, single parents (and any other category I’ve missed). I want society to adjust their expectations and have an open mind when it comes to the fact that ANYONE is capable of being an amazing parent. It doesn’t come down to biology.
As a society, we need to ditch the idea one person is solely responsible for the care of a child. The burden should be shared where possible. Speaking from experience, feeling supported is key when you are a new parent. Had I felt like this in hospital, my experience would have been different. And maybe my mental health wouldn’t have suffered so severely. We will never know!
How you can achieve your own mummy baby care balance?
As I don’t want to overload you with my rants, and because there is hope. I want to outline ways you can achieve both mummy and baby care. Even during busy and difficult times. Check out these life hacks for busy mums.
You don’t have to rely on a doctor or maternity services to get the outcome you need (although they should be fit for purpose). These are the techniques, tips, routines we have used:
Naps
Naps are essential when you are a new parent. You face a whole new level of tiredness. You didn’t realise anyone could survive on four hours of sleep. But you muddle through.
Everyone deserves a break. Enlist help from those around you, if you can. And never feel guilty about taking a nap. You need to recharge your batteries, so you can face the next challenge.
Rest
If all you’re able to do is sit on the sofa with the baby, or nap when the baby naps. Take this time and don’t feel bad about it.
I kept my mind active by playing on my phone whilst our little one slept on me. I would sit on the sofa, get comfortable and relax, but not sleep until she was fully settled.
Time away from the baby
If you can, accept help from other people.
When our little one was three months old, we stayed overnight at Village Hotels. Although I missed her like crazy, it was a lovely break away and we both needed it.
If you went through any other traumatic experience in life, you would give yourself a break. Going through pregnancy and birth can be one of the most traumatic experiences a person will ever go through and we need to acknowledge this.
Nursery
Attend a baby group, or enlist the help of the nursery to give yourself a break.
Naturally, I was reluctant to hand our little pumpkin over to a nursery at nine months old. However, it was the best thing for her. She loves it and has developed so much. I think it’s good for a little one to have some time away from their parents. It’s her own little thing that she does and we ask her about her day when she comes home.
Because we have strong feelings about the benefits of the nursery, we would want a second child to attend. I hope by the time we are in a position to make the decision, childcare benefits have improved. When bringing a second child into the world, I also hope it doesn’t come down to a choice between one of us working or not working. We both want our independence, to earn money, to give our child the benefit of development in a nursery setting. We also want to spend time together as a family. Currently, in the UK, it’s pretty impossible to achieve this.
Classes for parent and baby
In the early days, I was reluctant to attend these types of groups. Then I found Little Learners. My little one could barely sit up, but she loved feeling different textures and playing. Even being around other children and getting used to the noise level she would experience at the nursery was great for her. The class was held at a community centre and I was able to have some lunch and a coffee. It honestly transformed my life and got us both out of the house. Occasionally my hubby and mum would attend and it was a great morning out. I will always look back fondly at the memories made in those classes.
Time as a couple
Thankfully, my parents have always taken our little one over the weekend, for a day, and it helps me get on with the cleaning. I now blog and sometimes we get time together as a couple. It might be 20 minutes of uninterrupted chatter, but when you have an attention-grabbing toddler around, that 20 minutes is golden.
Every few months we also have a night to ourselves and we are so thankful for it.
Home spa
As I can’t afford the spa days I booked pre-baby, a home spa is a perfect solution. When I haven’t had enough sleep, I find a nice hot bath, and a face mask gives me a little, much-needed refresh. We also have a foot spa and I occasionally use it.
Even if all you can fit in is a five-minute face and hair mask, take this time. Do it whilst you are comforting the baby and look after yourself as well.
You can find some amazing home spa products below, along with a great points system if you sign up:
Final thoughts
I hope you enjoyed reading this article.
Please let me know your thoughts in the comments below.
Fancy some much needed child-free time? Book yourself a night at Village Hotels…
This gift guide featuring Sustainable Brands has been in the pipeline for a while now. As a family, we do our bit when it comes to recycling and saving electricity. We eat less meat and have downsized to one car. The next step for our family is to move to sustainable household products. And to cut down on buying single-use plastic.
Quick Note:This post features gifted items and affiliate links – if you click on a link to make a purchase, I will receive a small commission, at no additional cost to you
All the garments produced are certified by the Global Organic Textile Standard (GOTS) to ensure they meet strict environmental standards for the production of textiles. In addition, all clothes are made in a safe and clean environment by well-trained employees who have the right to trade union meetings, safety gear and social benefits.
My thoughts on the product
I was thrilled to be contacted by the brand and gifted this wonderful organic cotton dress for my little one to try. The material is such high quality and feels great against the skin. Not to mention the beautiful pattern. I chose this one because she is constantly talking about wanting to be a rainbow unicorn. So cute.
As you can see from the images, she loves wearing this item. I would purchase from this brand again, simply because the quality is great and the items of clothing will last a long time. I purposely ordered a thing which was a little bit too big on her, so hopefully, it will last her a few years.
WUKA
What makes the brand sustainable?
WUKA stands for Wake Up Kick Ass because we believe that nothing should hold you back on your period.
We believe that periods should not cost the earth. Equality and social and environmental responsibility are at the heart of everything we do.
We replace plastic-riddled disposable pads & tampons with the world’s most comfortable and sustainable period underwear.
Periods are not shameful, but something to be proud of. We’re determined to break down body and period taboos.
Eco-friendly products & business practices.
Less waste. From our packaging to our products.
Leak-free periods.
Super comfortable.
My thoughts on the product
I have wanted to work with WUKA for a while now. As a female, in my late 30’s, sustainable period products are a must. It’s the one pretty significant contribution I can make monthly. As far as Sustainable Brands go, this was one of the main retailers I have heard great things about.
The company sent me a sample to try and I must say, the quality of the product feels fantastic. I was apprehensive at first. As a working mum, who is mostly out of the house, there was a worry about freshness. With reusable products, you can dispose of any used items. And it makes you feel refreshed and less anxious when you are out in public. However, I would use this product on the days I am at home. And when it comes to sustainability, every little change we can make helps.
The mission at Earth & Wheat is to fight food waste, rescuing high-quality bakery, veg, and other ingredients which sing in your pan, whilst reducing food waste.
My thoughts on the product
This box has honestly been a real treat for our family and served us well over the last month. It’s taken lunchbox sandwiches from standard to a deli treat.
I froze the majority of the box because there was a lot to go around. And I was impressed when I didn’t get soggy bread following defrosting process. As you do with normal, shop-bought bread.
We plan to purchase this box on a subscription monthly. Then defrost the items as we need to use them.
Here is what we did with our items:
Wraps – for work lunches and yummy breakfast wraps on a weekend
Flatbread – we used this to accompany our chilli, on a rare child-free weekend night. And it took the meal from everyday standard – to something which felt a bit more special. For a small additional cost each month.
Soft panini – these are pre-sliced and so soft, I ate a few plain
Pitta bread – Great for dips, and eating as a snack
Crumpets – we love crumpets in our house and these did not disappoint
REFERRAL OFFER – sign up & get £3.00 off (I get £2.00 per referral)
FFS, yep you read that right! For F*ck sake! The 3 words that express our frustrations! It started with female razors being inferior to male razors, seriously WTF is that all about? We fixed that!
Now our mission is much more!
We want to banish single-use plastics from homes and we believe that planet-friendly purchasing should not cost the earth!
FFS now stands for much more.
My thoughts on the product
I’ve now tried the razor and the whole kit is fantastic.
Let’s start with the shower clip. It’s stayed in place, despite some hot baths & showers over the last few days. Sometimes the sticky pads on bathroom holders slip off. But this one doesn’t.
The razor itself is amazing, such a clean shave but no risk of cutting yourself, because of the protective strips. It’s by far the best razor I’ve had and I am about to subscribe to the blades. Not to mention, the amazing razor handle, which is engraved and personalised for you. All around, a fantastic kit and I cannot recommend this brand highly enough.
What do you get in your kit?
Reusable weighted handle (+ free engraving)
2x super sharp blades
Shower holder – to keep razor dry and protected
Handy Green Travel Pouch
Tweezers
Clamshell Blade Protector
DISCOUNT CODE
Discount Code:
Discount Code: MUMMYCA
15% off the first eco-friendly subscription box
Expiry: 30.04.2023
Terms: Offer expires 31.04.2023. (15% off applies to razor kits only. New customers only.)
Millions of bathroom products are thrown away every year and the sustainable and natural alternatives out there don’t cut it — until now. At Wild, we want to shake up the throwaway culture of bathroom products with high-performing products made from natural ingredients that never compromise on convenience or efficacy.
My thoughts on the product
I haven’t yet tried the deodorant, but there are mixed reviews online about how well this product works. As with all skincare & beauty brands, it depends completely upon the person using it. How your body reacts and what your skin is comfortable with.
The smell is amazing and I love the look of the dispenser. I would encourage anyone to give this a try and do their bit to help with sustainability.
Smol
What makes the brand sustainable?
We believe that each of us, every person, every customer, and every action, no matter how small, can contribute towards a better world. Our commitment to powerful performance with eco-friendly design, convenience and a great price makes more sustainable cleaning the effortless choice. Since its launch in 2018, customers switching to Smol have saved over 300 tonnes of plastic and more than 1000 tonnes of chemicals.
My thoughts on the product
I ordered the Smol samples, where you pay the delivery fee only. Simply because I have wanted to try the brand for a while. The dishwasher tablets and the kitchen spray were great. And I would reorder the kitchen spray tablets.
However, the non-bio laundry tablets have brought my little one out in a rash. I also read some online posts confirming this happened to other people. That said, I am aware that certain laundry liquids can react badly with sensitive skin. But for this reason, we wouldn’t be in a position to reorder the laundry liquids and I have passed them onto a family member for use.
I did just want to say, that when you are ordering the samples, for which you only pay the delivery, you need to be aware that you will automatically be put onto a subscription. And you need to go into your account and cancel if you don’t want the next batch. Which are charged at a higher cost. I thought the reorder would be sent too soon and it didn’t allow me any time to try the products first.
Unfortunately, Smol were not that sympathetic to the situation with my little girl. And despite complaining, a refund wasn’t forthcoming. Upon notification of the rash, I would have expected the refund to be made ASAP, regardless of a product being sent or returned.
Final thoughts
I am on the lookout for more sustainable brands. Whether that be buying second-hand or trying brands with a total focus on helping the environment. If you would like your brand reviewed, or you want to work with me on a collaboration, visit this page.
Let me know in the comments whether you’ve tried these brands before and what your thoughts are
Being a parent is challenging, especially when it comes to raising kids. As the world evolves, you want your kids to be ready for the outside world when they become adults. You want them to be strong, enough to adapt to the complex landscape, technological advancement, and unforeseen challenges. As parents, you want the next generation to have the skills, mindset, and resilience to thrive in an uncertain future. If they can grow up feeling brave no matter their situation, you have done your job.
Let’s dive into Parenting: Preparing Your Kids for a Brighter Future
Quick note: Some of the links contained on this page are affiliate links and if you go through them to make a purchase, I will earn a commission. I only recommend products I use myself and think would be useful for other people.
Here are some things you should look out for when Preparing Your Kids for a Brighter Future
FROM THE MCA BLOG – Shall we have some discount codes before we begin…
How to Secure Your Kids’ Future
Effective Communication
Communication is a difficult skill to master since adults struggle to master it, too. Without communication, you can’t understand the other person’s thoughts or wants. Kids are always curious more than adults, so you want to teach them how to express themselves clearly, actively listen, and collaborate with others. Without communication, how can your kids have good relationships with others? The reason why relationships are difficult to handle is because of poor communication skills. Raise your kids to express their thoughts confidently.
Embrace Challenges
Life isn’t perfect. There are many challenges and obstacles in life. As parents, you need to prepare your kids for the unknown future. You want your kids to be strong and face those challenges head-on. Help them see that a challenge is an exciting opportunity rather than something daunting. Even if they fail, you should cheer them on or encourage them that there will be a next time as the parent. By doing so, your kids can tackle a new and unfamiliar task in the future. This will help them to have a positive mindset and be problem solvers.
FROM THE MCA BLOG – If you want to get started with selling on Vinted – you can find tips & standard promo wording to use, in this blog post
Independence and Responsibility
Part of Preparing Your Kids for a Brighter Future is nurturing learning and growing, so you want to give them simple tasks to learn from. You can give them simple chores like making the bed, wiping the table, or folding clothes. Giving them age-appropriate chores will instil a sense of responsibility and independence. Slowly, you can give them difficult tasks to do so they can have strong work ethic and the ability to manage tasks effectively. If you spoil them all the time, they will never know what independence and responsibility is when they are adult.
Lifelong Learning
Most kids grow up thinking they don’t need to learn anymore after school. However, life is a journey full of the unknown. Your kids won’t know everything all the time. You want your kids always to be curious and keep questioning things about the world. Learning is not just confined to the classroom but a lifelong pursuit. Encourage your kids to explore various subjects so they can develop a habit of seeking information. Whether it’s dancing, singing, arts and crafts, or filming, your kids want to learn, encourage them to try and learn.
FROM THE MCA BLOG – Parenting books to help you on your journey
Financial Literacy
Not many kids grow up knowing anything about money. You don’t have to teach them the complex things but the basics so they understand how money works. The earlier they learn, the better off they will be. Don’t spoil them by giving them money for free because they will never want to do anything. Life isn’t free, so they should know how hard it is to get money. Let them understand what hard work is and being paid to do a service.
FROM THE MCA BLOG – Want more money-saving tips – you can check out my money-saving hacks page:
Kids don’t know what being grateful is. When kids see what other kids have, they want it, too. Teaching your kids to be grateful is essential because it is the foundation of their emotional well-being. If you teach your kids to appreciate things, they will treasure what they have, not get entangled in materialism, and focus on contentment and personal growth.
Implement Healthy Habits
Teach your kids that health is a priority over anything else. Healthy habits are vital for kids and adults. Kids should get plenty of sleep, eat healthily, and stay active. With technology these days, kids don’t know what outside is. Don’t let them sit in the house, play video games, and watch YouTube all day. Create a schedule for them where they can stick to it. Kids should learn that health is an important factor in life and should not be ignored. By teaching them to make good choices, they will have a healthier lifestyle.
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Build Relationships
Having strong relationships with others is good for your children’s growth and well-being. In life, you can’t do everything by yourself. Teaching your kids to build healthy relationships by communicating effectively, resolving conflicts, and cooperating with others will lay the foundation for successful collaboration in the future. The world doesn’t revolve around just you but multiple people in the universe.
If you set an example, your kids will follow. You are the leader that should lead your kids with pride. Kids look up to their parents the most, so whatever you do, you will greatly influence them. Kids often learn through observation, so whenever they observe an adult’s behaviour, they will follow. Whatever morals, values, behaviours, and skills you want your kids to have, you must teach them when they are young. Slowly, they will develop and become the person you want them to be. If you become a role model for them, they will become role models for others.
Creativity and Innovation
Kids can be so creative sometimes. They think about things that not even adults know. As parents, you want to encourage your kids to follow their passions, think beyond conventional boundaries, and develop problem-solving abilities. By encouraging them, you empower them to be confident, independent thinkers better equipped to tackle the complexities and uncertainties of the future.
In Summary
Parenting: Preparing Your Kids for a Brighter Future – Think About Your Kids!
No matter how hard life can be, your teachings are important to your kids. As parents, caregivers, and educators, you play a huge part in your kids’ lives, so lead them by example. They are the next generation, so you want them to prepare for the unknown. Every parent wants what’s best for their kids. If you want your kids to live happier, more fulfilling lives and become well-rounded, you must impart these valuable lessons.
Author Bio
Cindy is the blogger behind Ordinary Asian Girl. She is your average Asian girl who wants to share relatable experiences that adults navigate daily. Whether it’s financial matters, thrilling adventures, or life’s intricate puzzles, she wants to share her experience and knowledge with all.
I came across this book when visiting the Bradford Literature Festival. I saw Horatio speak about the book and why he wrote it. I was intrigued. I signed up for the session because I had experienced my own mental health struggles. And honestly, I am all for people with a prominent voice speaking out against the stigma surrounding mental health.
Let’s have a look at the blurb
A story of the wonder and intensity of the manic experience, as well as its peril and strangeness, it is shot through with the love, kindness, humour and care of those who deal with someone who becomes dangerously ill. Partly a tribute to those who looked after Horatio, from family and friends to strangers and professionals, and partly an investigation into how we understand and treat acute crises of mental health, Heavy Light’s beauty, power and compassion illuminate a fundamental part of human experience. It asks urgent questions about mental health that affect each and every one of us.
Based on my experiences and my awareness that people with privilege are often able to access better health services (this goes for all health services and not just mental health). I was dubious about reading an account of mental health struggles from a well-known journalist.
To clarify, I am thankful people with status speak out – it’s needed. And I would NEVER diminish someone else’s mental health struggles – because mental health problems do not discriminate. It can happen to anyone – it doesn’t matter how much money you have in the bank or how big your house is. But it DOES matter that people may receive fair treatment regardless of their circumstances.
Privilege addressed in the book
Horatio himself addresses privilege and talks honestly about his situation compared to people in other circumstances. The latter part of the book also discusses possible treatments and outcomes for mental illness, with some great suggestions for alternative therapies and up-and-coming strategies for addressing mental health.
Why I ended up loving the book
Although I was dubious at first, I ended up loving the book. So much that I stayed up way too late reading endless pages. Just to find out more about Haratio’s journey.
The main themes I loved the most:
Impact on family
The book explores the huge impact that Haratio’s erratic behaviour had on his family. And their worries about managing his mental health moving forward. This rings true for so many people out there. Ultimately, if you had a broken leg, the people closest to you would pick up the tasks you were unable to do. The same applies to mental health. When someone is unable to function, because of their mind, it’s usually family and friends who protect and look after you.
Discussions about mental health with children
Because I was mentally ill during pregnancy and with the pressure of becoming a new mother, it was inevitable that I would have to discuss this with my child. Although she’s young, we are always honest with her about things. And we always will be. Explaining that Mummy sometimes has things going on in her mind. Therefore, she needs a rest and some downtime. These discussions are something we do regularly.
I wrote previously about toddler emotions. Kids pick up intuitively on more than we realise. And they always seem to know when something is wrong or you need a hug. Don’t underestimate their understanding. And as a parent or carer, consider being honest about your struggles. And about emotions and life in general.
The science
The science behind mental health problems is something widely debated. And it has impacted the treatment I received from day one. For example, the doctor was understandably reluctant to prescribe anti-depressants. But when I actually looked into the studies behind taking them, the data was inconclusive.
There literally is no right answer to what impacts an individual’s mental health. Everyone is different and therefore impacted differently. The book explores this in great detail and provides a balanced argument for studies and therapies available.
Summary
I hope you enjoyed my review of the book. If you want to check it out, click the links below:
With Christmas approaching, it’s the perfect time to introduce you to our family T-shirt brand—designs lovingly created. We hope you love them as much as we do.
Sustainable Clothing Items For Christmas Gifts…
Let’s talk about the sustainability element
We picked a platform where sustainability was at the forefront of making the products. And the quality in designs and wearability is there. Everything is made from organic materials, using renewable energy. We must all start doing our bit for the environment and it starts small.
Why we started the family business
Who doesn’t love sustainable Clothing Items For Christmas Gifts? Welcome to Roaring Pumpkin Tees. Since experiencing a mental breakdown in 2021, I have made it my mission to share my story, with honesty, to raise awareness of mental health struggles.
My first blog Mummy Conquering Anxiety began when I had an overwhelming feeling I had to start talking about my experience.
THE DIFFERENCE – this is a family project…
If you follow my first, second and third blogs, you will know I refer to my toddler as ‘little pumpkin’. And oh my – she is fierce, feisty, and sassy! Just like her mummy. This business is dedicated to my very own roaring pumpkin. I made her. I’m proud of her. May she always go out into the world and conquer it.
Ready to take on the roaring pumpkin spirit? Check out our lovingly made designs…
Shall we get into the lovely products we’ve created for you all
You never know the struggle someone is facing. I hid my anxiety condition for 15 years. People sometimes feel ashamed to reveal their true feelings or struggles. Therefore, I want everyone to wear the message – Be Kind.
Being Kind can have a massive impact, which you will probably never know about. A kind word or gesture could literally save someone’s life.
Love really does make the world go round. And it was love from family, friends and complete strangers on the internet, that got me through my mental breakdown.
Be kind, make connections, and express love. You won’t regret it!
I kept myself closed for years. But opening myself up, and stepping out of my comfort zone, was the best thing I ever did.
This lovely bear was drawn by my toddler, spruced up a bit using my hubby’s technical skills and brought to life by the skills I’ve self-taught as a blogger.
I tell my little one about having limited channels on the TV. VHS movies, DVD players. She’s had a tablet for a few years, with access to an Amazon & Disney+ subscription. So she doesn’t really understand the struggle.
I started this blog in August 2021, because I felt compelled to share my story with other people. Going through challenging circumstances, naturally makes you assess how resilient you really are. I was in a dark place at the time, social media and talking about my experiences really helped me. And I knew it would help other people.
Talking about your experiences could make someone feel less alone. I am now accepting mental health guest posts. I would love to help other people get their message out there – to the people who need it most.
Let’s explore – Topics To Get You Started In Talking About Your Mental Health
Everyone has a unique experience
I hope other people never experience the darkness of anxiety or depression. However, the reality is, that we may all experience challenging circumstances in life. There will be times when our stress bucket fills up and there needs to be an outlet. A healthy amount of anxiety is a natural defence mechanism. And in small amounts, it can keep us safe. But it’s when the balance tips that the problems begin.
Talking helps
It is no secret that talking to other people can help with our mental health. There has been amazing research on the power of community groups and connecting with our peers.
One main lesson I’ve taken from starting my blogs is that we can speak out – to help other people. But we may never know about the great impact this has. We don’t need to know. The purpose of kindness and empathy is to give it out. Not to measure the effect you had on someone’s life. Just know – that by talking honestly about your own story, you may positively impact someone else. You could even quietly save a life.
Sam – Mummy Conquering Anxiety Blog
Let’s dive into the topics you could talk about, to start a conversation which may help other people
The symptoms of your mental illness
Everyone is different. And like all other ailments, both physical and mental problems impact individuals differently. Talking about the symptoms you face, could help you relate to other people out there. Whi might also be experiencing the same thing as you.
Every person is different and no mental health diagnosis will impact people in the same way. Writing about what you personally do to stay well, despite your struggles, could help inspire someone else to adopt well-being tools.
Your mental health goals & aspirations
Because my mental breakdown was triggered by pregnancy, work stress and becoming a new mother, all of these factors are something I personally worry about. Overcoming this adversity and worry has proved to be a massive hurdle for me. But worth the work.
Often great life goals can be borne from the toughest of life circumstances. Writing about how you formulated these goals can be liberating. And it will definitely help other people.
Want more Topics To Get You Started In Talking About Your Mental Health?
Your daily & weekly self-care routine
We should ALL have a self-care routine. Despite what society tells us, it’s important. We look after ourselves physically but often neglect the mental health we should preserve and nurture.
Sharing what you do daily or weekly, to look after your mind can inspire other people to look after theirs. Or adopt some of your routines, which could prove to be life-changing for them.
An example from my own life was persevering with a Hypnotherapy course. Agreeing to start it was completely out of my comfort zone and some days, I was simply too busy to set aside time for the Zoom calls. But it was worth it. And I am now well versed in meditation, so much so that a quick 5-minute meditation recording really helps.
Life changes you’ve made to help your mental health
It’s a fact of life that we sometimes need to make significant changes in order to help our health. In the same way that you would eat less sugar if you were diabetic. Or you would pursue a course of physiotherapy after a severe physical injury. Sometimes we have to make changes to our lives to protect our mental health.
Sharing some of the life changes you might have made, with other people, may help them to start putting changes in place. Or start to think about the possibility of doing so. There is power in this.
Final Thoughts
One main lesson I’ve taken from starting my blogs is that we can speak out – to help other people. But we may never know about the great impact this has. We don’t need to know. The purpose of kindness and empathy is to give it out. Not to measure the effect you had on someone’s life. Just know – that by talking honestly about your own story, you may positively impact someone else. You could even quietly save a life.
Learning the tools for managing stress is easier than ever these days. There are so many resources out there, but those who are obsessed with finding wellness tools to combat their anxiety may inadvertently be suffering from a different type of anxiety. Overthinking is a mental loop that can be paralysing and affects many different aspects of life. When we overthink our decisions, it will impact our well-being. So, if you are a chronic overthinker, let’s explore some invaluable resources that can help you dial it down.
Limiting Stimulants
Some people can benefit from slowing down. Changing your state sends a signal to your brain that you need to be calmer. It’s not as easy as telling yourself that you need to slow down but about sending those signals on a regular basis. Sometimes we need to ease ourselves into a slower pace by limiting our stimulant intake. Alcohol and caffeine can kick our overthinking into high gear. Reducing the consumption of stimulants can help calm the mind and alleviate the mental loop of overthinking. Understand your caffeine limits, but also look at products such as medical cannabis and CBD oil. Learning to change our state is key because when we make that conscious decision to slow down, our body and mind will eventually come to match it.
Journaling
For many, writing down thoughts and worries is very cathartic. When we start to make regular notes about times when we’re overthinking, we will come to recognise certain patterns. When we see our overthinking stems from conflict with a certain person or a certain situation, we can then look at this on paper and take an objective view of the situation because it was not part of our consciousness at the time. This is particularly effective if you find yourself overwhelmed at home. If you find yourself in conflicting situations or a disagreement with a spouse makes you very stressed, taking the steps to write down your thoughts on the situation and having a pragmatic approach to your thinking can help you stop yourself from overthinking in the future when you encounter the same type of situation.
Regular Relaxation Practices
The importance of learning how to relax cannot be overstated. If you have an overactive mind, understanding the triggers is one thing, but as we’ve already touched upon, changing your state will also give you better control over how you feel. We have to remember that overthinking is linked with stress and anxiety. This, in turn, is the body’s reaction to a situation, even if it’s not particularly stressful. We all have that inbuilt fight-or-flight response, so having those moments throughout the day where you can focus on your breathing, even if for a couple of minutes, or engage in progressive muscle relaxation, as well as techniques to stimulate the vagus nerve, can be vital.
If you find yourself overthinking, you may need to go for a combination of these tools and tactics. If you are a chronic overthinker, you are not alone. It could be a persistent challenge, but with the right tools, you can break the cycle and recognise that overthinking is detrimental because it stops you from being present. When you are present in the moment, you won’t stress, and you will get so much more out of life.
Mental and behavioural health are integral components of overall well-being. Conversely, poor mental and behavioural health can severely impact our lives. Leaving us feeling anxious, depressed, or struggling to cope with everyday life. Fortunately, there are strategies we can use to maintain good mental and behavioural health. This doesn’t require prescription drugs or expensive therapy sessions. In this guide, we will discuss ways you can naturally promote good mental and behavioural health.
Photo by Riccardo:
Prioritize Self-Care:
While it can be tempting to jump into work and other day-to-day tasks, prioritizing self-care is important. Self-care is any activity that helps you maintain your physical, mental, and emotional health. Taking the time for self-care can help reduce stress levels and increase productivity.
One way to practice self-care is by setting aside some time for yourself each day to do something you enjoy. This could be anything from reading a book, taking a walk in nature, or doing some breathing exercises. Additionally, make sure that you are getting enough rest at night. Not getting enough sleep can lead to increased stress levels and difficulty concentrating on tasks throughout the day.
Another way to practice self-care is to be mindful of what you are eating. Eating healthy, nutritious foods can boost your mood and energy levels, while processed and sugary foods can lead to fatigue and low self-esteem. Incorporating plenty of fruits and vegetables into your diet is a great way to keep your mental and physical health in check.
Social Connections:
Having strong social connections and spending time with friends or family can do wonders for our mental health. Developing caring, supportive, and understanding relationships can help us feel cared for during difficult times. And provide joy during good times. Additionally, research has shown that strong social ties are associated with improved physical health outcomes such as lower blood pressure, reduced risk of depression, and improved immune system functioning.
Want more money-saving tips – you can check out my money-saving hacks page:
That being said, it’s important to find a healthy balance between spending time with others and having enough “me time.” Spending too much time in social activities can lead to stress and anxiety if you don’t have enough downtime for yourself. Additionally, make sure that the people you surround yourself with are positive influences who support your mental health goals. It can be helpful to talk to friends or family about what you are going through so they can provide additional support during difficult times.
Also, if you find yourself struggling with Expressive Language Disorder, which can make it hard to express your thoughts and feelings verbally, there are still plenty of ways to connect with others. Writing in a journal is a great way to express your emotions without having to verbalize them. Additionally, joining an online support group or therapy session can help you feel supported and accepted without the pressure of speaking.
Exercise:
Exercise is another great way to promote good mental and behavioural health. Regular exercise help reduce stress levels and stimulates the production of feel-good hormones like serotonin and dopamine, which can help boost our moods. Additionally, exercise has been shown to improve sleep quality, increase concentration, and reduce feelings of anxiety and depression.
It’s important to find the type of exercise that works best for you. Everyone will have different preferences regarding exercise—some may enjoy running or hiking outdoors, while others prefer yoga or weightlifting in a gym. There is no “right” way to exercise; the most important thing is to find an activity that you enjoy and stick with it.
Journaling:
Journaling is a great way to work through difficult emotions, address negative thoughts and behaviours, and gain new insights into yourself. Whether it’s a daily diary, a gratitude journal, or a more creative art journaling practice, taking the time to write down your thoughts and feelings can be incredibly therapeutic. This could even involve writing letters that you never send as a way of expressing yourself in an emotional yet contained way.
Journaling can also help with problem-solving and goal-setting by allowing you to slow down and brainstorm solutions from a place of clarity. It helps hone your focus on what’s important and provides momentum for personal growth. For example, jotting down action steps for achieving specific goals encourages self-discipline, accountability, and reflection along the way. Ultimately, this is beneficial for improving mental health overall.
Furthermore, studies have shown that journaling can reduce stress and anxiety, boost creativity and mental clarity, increase self-awareness, regulate emotions, and even improve physical health. But how do you get started? One of the best ways to begin is to just start writing. Don’t worry about grammar or spelling – just write what comes out of your head as quickly as you can. Once you get in the flow, it becomes easier to be more structured. You may find that topics will naturally arise from free-flow writing, and suddenly, your journaling has a theme!
5. Connect with Nature:
Finally, connecting with nature is another great way to boost mental health. Studies have shown that spending time in nature can reduce stress, anxiety, and depression and improve overall mood. Additionally, being in nature can increase feelings of connectedness and self-esteem by bringing us into contact with something greater than ourselves – the natural world.
There are many different ways to connect with nature, depending on your interests or preferences. For example, going for a walk in the park or garden is an easy way to take in some fresh air and enjoy the beauty of nature. Other activities like bird watching, kayaking, camping, or gardening can help you get closer to nature while having fun at the same time. No matter how you choose to connect with nature, it’s sure to bring positive benefits to your mental health.
Overall, there are many simple and enjoyable ways to support your mental health. From mindfulness and exercise to journaling and connecting with nature, there’s something for everyone. Taking the time to practice these activities can help promote improved emotional well-being in the long run. So why not give them a try today? Who knows – you might just find that one of these activities is life-changing!
6. Reach Out For Support:
It’s also important to reach out for support when it comes to your mental health. Whether that means seeing a therapist, joining a support group, or simply connecting with friends and family, having strong social support can be incredibly beneficial. Friends and family can provide emotional support, practical advice, and understanding during difficult times.
Additionally, turning to professionals such as therapists or counsellors can offer even more help by providing specialized guidance from an unbiased perspective. They are trained to listen without judgment and provide the tools needed to work through challenges in life. Additionally, seeking professional help does not mean you’re weak or unable to handle things on your own – it simply means that you recognize that there may be areas in which you need extra assistance.
No matter how you choose to reach out, know that seeking help is an important part of taking care of yourself. That’s why it’s so important to build a strong support system and lean on them when needed. After all, we were never meant to go through life alone – having the right kind of people around us can make all the difference.
7. Focus on the Positive:
Finally, it’s important to focus on the positive aspects of life, even when things are tough. Research has shown that focusing on the positive can help increase life satisfaction, reduce stress and anxiety, improve physical health, and even boost immunity.
There are lots of different ways to focus on the positives in life. A great place to start is by creating a gratitude list – writing down all the things you’re thankful for. This can be anything from having a safe place to live to spending time with your family or friends. Focusing on these positive aspects of life can help create feelings of appreciation and joy that will have lasting effects.
You can also try doing something creative or engaging in activities that bring you joy like dancing, cooking, painting, etc. Taking part in enjoyable activities helps us shift our attention away from negative thoughts and feelings and towards something that pleases us. Focusing on the positive can be a powerful tool to help boost our mental health.
There are many simple and enjoyable ways to support your mental health. From mindfulness and exercise to journaling and connecting with nature, reaching out for help, and focusing on the positive – there’s sure to be something that resonates with you. Taking the time to practice these activities can help promote improved emotional well-being in the long run. So why not give them a try today? Who knows – you might just find that one of these activities is life-changing!
No matter how you choose to take care of yourself, the most important thing is that you prioritize your mental health. Remember, self-care isn’t selfish – it’s essential for our physical, mental, and emotional well-being. So take the time to give yourself some well-deserved TLC – you deserve it! Take care of yourself and be kind to your mind. After all, we only have one life to live – let’s make sure we do it right by taking care of our mental health.
Gaining an understanding of the common sources of poor mental and behavioural health is the first step to prevention and management. These may include chronic stress, trauma or adverse experiences, genetic predisposition or environmental influences – to name just some factors that contribute. Long-term exposure to high-stress situations may result in anxiety disorders and depression. At the same time, trauma-induced experiences – especially during childhood – may cause various mental and behavioural health issues in adulthood. Genetics also plays an integral part in mental and behavioural health struggles; certain conditions like schizophrenia and bipolar disorder have been shown to run in families. Environmental factors, such as living conditions, socioeconomic status and cultural expectations may also play a part. Family law solicitors have seen first-hand how family dynamics impact clients’ mental well-being.
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