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Amber from Lady Boss Nomad, is not only my advertiser for this month. But she has also provided me with an amazing guest post and a useful anxiety workbook for my readers to download.
She has also supported my blogging journey in many other ways and is a true inspiration.
Having owned a successful service-based bookkeeping business and starting as a small business owner running my bricks and mortar greeting card business on Etsy I know a few tricks of the trade. I’m a smart savvy business owner with a creative edge. I can help you with your product creation through to launch, list building and marketing of your new products. If you’re service-based I can help you set up systems to attract the right clients.
Please also check out Amber’s other blog.
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Blog posts you should check out
Self Discovery Through Journaling is the Key to a Fulfilled Life
I want to say thank you to Chloe from Nyxie’s Nook for this amazing guest post. I personally found social media to be the most amazing, supportive community following my mental breakdown and I definitely needed it. This post outlines the reasons it can be helpful for mental wellbeing.
Let’s dive in
Social media has long since been branded as hazardous to our mental and physical health. For those within a certain age bracket, it’s seen as something akin to the fall of socialisation. We constantly hear about children as young as six becoming addicted to social media, or adults missing the world around them because their nose is stuck in their phones.
But what about the positive side of social media? If we look beyond the addiction and online trolls, social media has helped shape the 21st century into a more inclusive place to be.
For a long time, we’ve been under the assumption that asking for help is a weak or attention-seeking behaviour. But with the help of social media, we’re now much further forward in realising that speaking up about our issues is an act of strength.
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5 Positive aspects of social media
Social media can be a great way to raise awareness, bring communities together andhelp those less fortunate.
Before the use of the internet and social media, we all seemed so far away. America, Japan, England, Finland; We were all divided by oceans, land and borders. With the use of the internet and, in turn, social media we’re able to raise awareness for issues that would otherwise be limited by location. By using social media we can reach other, like-minded people who can help spread awareness among their own communities and so on.
We’re better able to keep in touch with our loved ones, arrange online catch-ups and even play virtual games.
With so much of the world in lockdown at different times and for various levels of COVID-19, many of us have become separated from our families and peers. And with the current state of things here in the UK, our isolation isn’t set to end any time soon. The internet and social media have become a way for us to socialize, catch up and even watch movies together while staying safely apart.
Netflix has created their Netflix party to help socially distanced subscribers to watch television shows and movies together. Zoom has become the number one go-to video chatting application for social catch-ups to business meetings. Instagram, Facebook and Twitter also deserve honourable mention for helping us keep in touch and meet like-minded people who are better able to help and support us. Some of the most trusting and inspirational people I know were found via social media!
Finally, although not specifically on social media, as an avid gamer I find the use of online resources helpful in finding gaming partners. There are various places online to connect and even chat with gamers worldwide. I’ve met so many people through my love for Animal Crossing and The Sims. I’m in various community groups online where I can chat about the games, get information, tips and advice, and even swap friend codes.
Of course, this is all done from a safe distance and, as an adult, I’m aware of the danger of meeting others online. If you have a teenager or even a child who frequently games with others online, it’s suggested that you keep an eye on their activity. Have a chat with them about online safety and take an interest in what they’re doing without being overly critical.
Social media can be a welcome distraction from the outside world or a devastating realisation of the world around us
Social media has acted as a means for me to distract myself from the goings-on around me, but it’s also been there to remind me of the harsh realities of the world around us. Without it, I doubt I would be kept as informed as I am. I avoid the news at all costs and have long since stopped trusting state-funded news reports. So various online sources, social media included, have been my direct link to COVID-19 news, election updates and even any new information being spread in regards to mental health services in my local area.
In regards to acting as a distraction, by frequently visiting social media and getting to know others online, I’ve been able to build a small support network. This support network is usually biased and helps distract me just by chatting about things other than what’s on my mind.
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Social media has helped to normalise help-seeking behaviour
For a long time, we’ve been under the assumption that asking for help is a weak or attention-seeking behaviour. But with the help of social media, we’re now much further forward in realising that speaking up about our issues is an act of strength. Many adults and young people are coming forward to encourage others to ask for help for things such as mental illness, grief, sexual assault etc. No longer are these things taboo, rather, we’re unified in our need to speak up!
Social media can offer a creative outlet
Much like writing a blog or sketching in a notebook, creating social media posts can act as a creative outlet but on a much smaller scale. The likes of Instagram are especially good for displaying things such as photography and artwork, while Tik Tok is for the videographer in all of us.Others can view your work, like, share and even become inspired. But, of course, it’s not always about the number of likes and engagement you get. So long as you’re careful about how you manage your life on social media, it can be a wonderful place to find and hone your creative voice.
What are your thoughts on social media and its impacts? Do you feel that it’s a positive, negative or a bit of both? How do you use social media and how do you protect your mental health when using it?
Final thoughts from me
I agree with all these benefits and I hope you enjoyed reading the post. All the details you need to connect with Chloe are below. Please go check out her blog, show some love, comment on posts and do what we do best in the blogging community, interact and show support.
In true Mummy Conquering Anxiety fashion, I wanted to post something real and honest for Mental Health Awareness Week this year! I want to remind you all, these posts are hard for me to write and probably, for you to hear. However, the topic is relevant and important. Creating my new beginning, in respect of my career, was the best thing I ever did. And I know other people are experiencing the same treatment at work.
I second guess myself about whether I should publish these posts and therefore, this one has been in the pipeline for a while. However, now is the right time to release this post. Because my work situation is now vastly different. I am a different person, with a different outlook. BUT I will always be a mental health advocate.
The back story
Here goes. I wrote this post a while ago, as a means of getting through one of the most stressful times in my life. As it happens, changing my situation was also the most life-changing.
Following total burnout in my job, I suffered a complete mental breakdown. Cue falling to the floor, tears, not making any sense. Like someone switched off my brain. And it wouldn’t restart. At the time, I didn’t want it to. It was the lowest point of my life. I’d suffered from low points with my mental health in the past. High anxiety levels and depression were common in times of stress, but it was never this bad.
The culture must change. We can no longer pile an unreasonable amount of pressure on employees and expect them not to eventually burn out.
My personal experience
The return to work – almost at my new beginning
Following months’ off work and pressure to return, I went back into the workplace. And eagerly awaited a redundancy date. Having an end date in sight, kept me going.
Ultimately, I was temporarily throwing myself back into a situation where miscommunication and downright rudeness in the workplace, had led me to a mental breakdown. Going back into that situation, for even a day, was going to be a mammoth task. Remember when I returned, I didn’t know how long I would stay in the role. And I don’t do very well with the unknown. It’s one of the biggest drivers of my anxiety. Knowing where I stand and having a routine helps keep it under control.
My life is different and much happier, and I now have support in my new workplace. And I am thankful for the journey because it taught me so much about my mental strength in challenging times.
Getting back into it
Upon my return, I was left alone for the first month, with everyone telling me “we want to make sure you’re okay“, “bear in mind your mental health” and I knew it was bullshit. It was a line they had to say to appear supportive. That’s what some workplaces do. In this day and age, for some businesses, it’s all talk, no action. And I think it’s despicable. I would rather the business be honest and not have a mental health policy at all, rather than provide empty words on such an important topic.
Jobless, ‘unemployed’ was soon going to be my label. All of a sudden I felt a lack of self-confidence. A lack of security. An urge to review my money situation and sort out bills that still needed paying, with one less income. But I still had not recovered fully and didn’t have the energy. A battle between wanting to prioritise myself for once, but lacking the motivation to do so.
I hope EVERYONE starts to place the same physical illness value on mental illness. Especially after we’ve all endured so much trauma lately.
Poor management
Another factor in all my previous job roles, was a lack of knowledge at the top. Yes, managers are there to manage, not necessarily understand how to do your job. But if they don’t have a clue about the work the people they are supposed to be supporting do daily, what’s the point? How will they ever recognise the stress triggers of overworked staff? How do they even know what too much work is?
From a human perspective, we should all be able to communicate appropriately with someone whos suffered a mental breakdown. But this takes training and awareness!
I’ve written previously about how I witnessed rude, biased, and bullying behaviour in workplaces I was part of, and this spans my whole working life. Although I wouldn’t relive the pandemic if I had a choice, I do hope it’s brought significant changes to the office environment in the UK. The culture must change. We can no longer pile an unreasonable amount of pressure on employees and expect them not to eventually burn out.
Where it all went wrong
My first anxiety-filled morning began a while after I returned to work. When you’re constantly having to justify yourself and the work you are completing, it is exhausting. This is what I was being asked to do on this occasion and given my mental health history, I think there was a better way of doing things.
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My thoughts in hindsight
Throughout all of this, I do have some grasp of the fact that employees in the department were under daily stress because of an impending redundancy and I take on board the fact this can impact a person’s behaviour. But it still doesn’t make poor behaviour towards staff correct. And it certainly doesn’t help my already fragile anxiety levels. From a human perspective, we should all be able to communicate appropriately with someone whos suffered a mental breakdown. But this takes training and awareness!
The redundancy announcement
It is hurtful when you’ve invested so much time and energy into your career and it comes to an end in this way. My heart goes out to anyone whos been through or is currently going through a redundancy process.
On the day I found out our redundancy date, I felt numb. I thought I would feel differently. It felt just like any other announcement. Following my mental health struggles, I couldn’t be bothered sorting out the admin and conversations involved in leaving. I wouldn’t feel satisfied until I had left the company and the redundancy money was in my bank.
Jobless, ‘unemployed’ was soon going to be my label. All of a sudden I felt a lack of self-confidence. A lack of security. An urge to review my money situation and sort out bills that still needed paying, with one less income. But I still had not recovered fully and didn’t have the energy. A battle between wanting to prioritise myself for once, but lacking the motivation to do so.
10 days to go – the worst 10 days of my life
10 days to go. Then I would be unemployed. Something I never anticipated I would be happy about. Finally, done and dusted with the workplace that I once loved, but then also caused me unreasonable amounts of stress.
To deal with the anger, I started journaling my feelings. I thought, what’s the point in stressing about this when I had 10 days to go. But bear in mind, that I was now a different person. More protective of my mental health. I viewed life differently. It was great I had grown in confidence to change the situation that broke me. But I was still in the situation that broke me. And I was still facing the same daily battles that sent me to hell and back.
Other posts you may like in the mental health category
Maybe these heightened feelings are normal for anyone going through a redundancy process. It’s probably just part of the process and how your mind accepts the huge change which will be happening to you at any moment. A moment someone else chooses, usually based on money-making and not paying any attention to your life.
The current employment situation in the UK
I can tell you, from my recent experience of visiting the job centre, unstable job conditions have impacted a lot of people and the department is inundated. The knock-on effect of COVID, and greedy CEOs making reckless decisions, together with a failing economy, have created a recipe for disaster. And it’s set to get even worse!
Yes, there are jobs out there, but the game has changed. I’m hoping the shift will eventually benefit office workers and companies to start to value mental health. I hope EVERYONE starts to place the same physical illness value on mental illness. Especially after we’ve all endured so much trauma lately.
Some of you might be asking why I went back to the workplace at all. Well, I wanted and deserved the redundancy payment. I also deserved to be treated like a human being. Bear in mind, that I am an advocate for mental well-being and society ditching the stigma those with mental illnesses suffer. I couldn’t just let this situation slide, without showing up and standing up for myself. In turn, I felt like I was also standing up for other people.
I considered raising concerns, then I weighed this up against the mental exhaustion this would exert and the potential of really gaining anything. In the end, I cut my losses and decided to start putting my energy into my new life.
Work should be a complementary part of our lives, not the thing that makes it unliveable
TO clarify, I’m all for mental health training in the workplace. But it has to be great training, run by people who’ve experienced dealing with a mental health crisis first hand. It can’t just be another set of standard lines companies use to protect themselves.
Trusted training resources
Mind conducts workplace training and I would trust them as a great resource. It’s also great to see the training by Rethink Mental Illness had input from people with lived experience. There are also other smaller companies running mental health training and there is value out there.
Workplaces – please create a different process for mental health absences
Another significant issue that made me feel like my mental illness wasn’t valid, was the return to work process. Workplaces need to create different policies for mental health circumstances. As they would do a terminal illness or a bereavement. Any other unusual situation, which doesn’t fit into the category of physical health.
My hope for HR departments in the future
Whilst I don’t have personal experience of it, I hope other employers are already doing the great things I’ve suggested. I hope this blog post doesn’t need to be read by most companies, but my own experience was just a stand-alone negative one. In conducting some research for this post I found this promising article about HR awards won by a building society. I wish all businesses would adopt this approach.
It’s also important for HR to check the company ethos is being implemented in all departments. And ensure there isn’t a disconnect between individual departments.
The main point
My life is different and much happier, and I now have support in my new workplace. And I am thankful for the journey because it taught me so much about my mental strength in challenging times.
Worrying statistics
The statistics for mental health-related absences in the UK look grim. And some of the research was conducted pre-pandemic. Arguably, we are in a worse position currently. Worst still, people are sometimes dismissed as a result of their mental health struggles.
How can we continue to accept this treatment?
One final note about burnout
Whilst I am still trying to make sense of what happened to me, I faced complete burnout as a result of overdoing it. I want to take this opportunity to tell all my readers this is not the way you have to live. Yes, we all need money. Both I and my hubby have to work to pay bills and live, but it is possible to balance this with looking after your mental health.
My wish for the future is that employers become the ones who prioritise this on behalf of their employees. And they avoid creating a culture where people feel they need to do more for the same money. Employ more staff, reduce the workload, and spend money to ease pressure on your staff!
Will you ever recover from burnout? I have. Granted, I am not the same person I was before. I now take less rubbish and I know, my boundaries. I won’t ever allow a repeat of this situation.
Final thoughts
This is my journal of a tough time in my life. In keeping with the theme of this blog, I wanted to share this with you because I want to help other people in the same situation. I want other people to realise they are not alone. Thankfully, I have recently started a new chapter in my career and I am in a better place.
Let time know what you think of the post in the comments below. I would love to hear from you.
Because this is such an emotive issue for me, it would be great to hear from anyone who can relate. Your comments are much appreciated and it helps me and other people know we are not alone in our struggles.
I always wanted to write a book about my life. I have storage boxes full of notebooks, diaries, poems I thought I could use to contribute to becoming a fully-fledged writer.
When the bottom of my world literally fell out from underneath me. Redundancy, a breakdown, a pandemic. Uncertainty central. I decided it was time for a change. Why not start your own blog, I thought? What’s the worst that could happen?
I felt compelled to share my story and what better way to do this than embracing the world of social media and online connections. After all, that’s where it’s at, right?
You have something to add. Your life experiences are unique and someone out there will benefit from what you have to say.
Quick note: Mummy Conquering Anxiety is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program. Some of the links contained on this page are affiliate links and if you go through them to make a purchase, I will earn a commission. I only recommend products I use myself and thinkwould be useful for you.
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I have a list of incredible reasons to start your own blog TODAY…
Your own platform
Starting your own blog can get your message out there.
I’m seeing a lot of wonderful people with amazing things to say and messages which should be out in the world for others to see. But sometimes this is limited to one social media site and I would love to see more content from this person.
Having a blog, which is connected to other social media sites, allows you to gain more followers and get your message out to more people. You control the content and create everything on the site.
If you’re thinking of setting up a blog and need web hosting, Bluehost is amazing. They provided me with the best customer service I’ve ever received when I recently lost my website! I HAVE to recommend them to other people.
It’s your chance to create something of your own
How exciting? I did a lot of research before starting my own blog. I decided I needed a chic-looking theme and I wanted to spend money upfront to ensure the branding was good.
After all, this place is like your office, your space, home from home. You’ve created it and why not make it look appealing?
If you need a theme, please check out Bluchic. I’ve had a few technical questions since setting up my blog and their customer service is fantastic. I am considering setting up a second blog and they will be my first choice for a theme.
Before starting my own blog, I was unsure about whether I should do this or not. Self-doubt crept in.
I spent 15 years doubting myself. My confidence wasn’t in a great place and like all bloggers starting out, I was seriously asking myself whether anyone would listen to what I had to say.
I gained a high number of followers on my social media platforms without really putting much content out there. On Instagram, there were 7 posts saying good morning and connecting with people. Despite this, amazing things were already happening when I started interacting with other people.
You have something to add. Your life experiences are unique and someone out there will benefit from what you have to say. Imagine the feeling of helping someone, without really knowing it. Just trusting that you are making a difference.
What are you waiting for?
Gain confidence
Starting the blog has helped me gain confidence in my writing ability. The lovely comments and compliments I receive mean the world to me and confirm I’m on the right path. Just like the one below.
Making connections
I interact with such wonderful, smart, supportive bloggers on a daily basis and I genuinely love commenting on their work and making connections.
The blogging community really is the best. An amazing group of people all supporting each other and I feel lucky to be part of it.
Use is as a diary
Writing is therapeutic and it certainly helped me during a tough time.
Your blog posts can be any format: a diary entry, a rant, or an informative post. You get to choose the type of content you share.
It creates opportunities
Whatever your end goal is, starting a blog WILL create opportunities.
Some opportunities have come to me, through social media messages and emails. Others I’ve had to work hard for.
The main thing is, good things are happening now I have my voice out there in the world. And I am finally doing something I love.
What you need to begin your blogging journey…
A computer
Sounds silly doesn’t it, but it’s true. I’ve heard some people try and run a blog without a laptop. But honestly, there are only certain tasks I can do on my laptop. That said, I do use my phone for some admin tasks like social media interaction and noting down ideas, occasionally writing in google documents.
Research
I spent a lot of time researching how I would set up my blog.
Pinterest was a massive source of information for me. Other bloggers give the best advice because they have walked in your shoes and can speak from experience.
Time
Luckily, due to my situation, I had time to set up the blog. I desperately needed to occupy my mind with something to stimulate my brain but also help my mental health.
Don’t worry if you don’t have huge amounts of time. Sometimes I only manage 30 minutes a day for blogging tasks. But I look at it like that’s a few things off my to-do list and you can only tackle small chunks, which then lead to bigger goals.
Small steps really do amount to something amazing.
Patience
It is correct that it takes roughly three months to rank on Google or start seeing any results in terms of traffic to your website.
I was starting to feel deflated. I went for a weekend away. I had writer’s block and was just not feeling the blogging vibes for about a week. Then I checked my DA score and surprisingly it was at 9, EXACTLY three months after I released my first blog post.
DA is at 9! Wooooooo hooooooooooo! Can’t quite believe it. But I have worked my back side off since 12 August!! 👍
With Father’s Day right around the corner, I wanted to share some of my favourite Father’s Day Gift ideas.
If you follow this blog, you will be aware that I regularly find it difficult to buy for the men in my family. It becomes even more difficult when they already have everything they want! I am constantly finding new and quirky gift ideas, that nobody else would think to buy. And I have some great Father’s Day Gift ideas to share with you today.
Let’s dive into the Father’s Day Gift ideas
Quick note: Some of the links contained on this page are affiliate links and if you go through them to make a purchase, I will earn a commission. I only recommend products I use myself and think would be useful for other people.
Some items were also sent to me for review – all thoughts are my own
1. Cheerful Buddha
I was recently contacted by Cheerful Buddha who kindly sent a gift pack to try. Having tried their products before, I can confirm their coffee is amazing. And I am now a huge fan of their chocolate as well. Perfect as a Father’s Day Gift.
MUMMYCONQUERINGANXIETY_15 AT THE CHECKOUT FOR 15% OFF
2. Subbytech
Subbytech sent me their CliX Light Up Charging Cable to try out and I was not disappointed. I love the fact that it comes with several adapters, which magnetically click into place.
We also love an extra-long cable – and you can purchase it in various sizes.
Check out these other gift guides, which might be helpful if you’re purchasing for the man in your life:
I think you all know what’s coming up – who doesn’t love a box of flapjacks?
Flapjackery offers award-winning, gluten-free flapjacks in a variety of flavours. Choose between boxes of 3, 6 or 12 giant flapjack slices. Each box contains a combination of chocolatey, scrumptious flapjack flavours. And with message plaque boxes, you can now tell your Dad or father figure, how much he means to you.
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4. Buy Sheds Direct
Maybe you want to treat a deserving Father to the ultimate gift – a garden shed. I know my hubby wants a shed or garage, to restore furniture. Whatever the reason, I am sure this would make the recipient really happy.
Weird Fish currently has a sale and a great Men’s Section for you to browse and select a great Father’s Day gift.
6. Dare Motivation
Why not give a healthy gift this Father’s Day?
Dare Motivation is a Nutritionally Complete plant-based shake. An all-in-one blend of seeds, superfoods, herbs, phytonutrients, and pre-and probiotics. As well as 26 essential vitamins and minerals.
Free Delivery on all Orders Over £20 to Mainland UK
20% off with Code AWESOME20 or by signing up for the newsletter
Refer a friend & get £10
Final thoughts
I hope you found this guide useful and found some great gifts for your loved one
It is a proven fact, that the early years of our lives shape who we are and how well we cope with challenges in adult life. A traumatic experience in childhood can have lasting effects. Exploring emotions is vital.
All human beings have emotions. They start to develop at an early age, often when toddlers don’t really understand what they are yet. The common one in our house at the moment is missing other people. This involves a daily conversation filled with reassurance, that everyone misses the people they love.
Because toddler emotions are a challenge I currently face. And I know other parents definitely go through this cycle, I wanted to write a post dedicated to the best stories I could find, discussing children’s emotions.
Quick note: Mummy Conquering Anxiety is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program. Some of the links contained on this page are affiliate links and if you go through them to make a purchase, I will earn a commission. I only recommend products I use myself and think would be useful for other people
Let’s look at the research into why we should explore emotions
Understanding children’s emotions are critical to understanding their behaviour. Early years children feel a range of emotions, but often cannot express, interpret or process them like us.
With poor emotional skills, it could be harder for children to learn:
Children grow and develop rapidly in their first five years across the four main areas of development. These areas are motor (physical), communication and language, cognitive, social and emotional.
Social and emotional development means how children start to understand who they are, what they are feeling and what to expect when interacting with others. It is the development of being able to:
Form and sustain positive relationships.
Experience, manage and express emotions.
Explore and engage with the environment.
Positive social and emotional development is important. This development influences a child’s self-confidence, empathy, the ability to develop meaningful and lasting friendships and partnerships, and a sense of importance and value to those around them. Children’s social and emotional development also influences all other areas of development.
Parents and caregivers play the biggest role in social/emotional development because they offer the most consistent relationships for their children. Consistent experiences with family members, teachers and other adults help children learn about relationships and explore emotions in predictable interactions.
To nurture your child’s social and emotional development, it is important that you engage in quality interactions like these on a daily basis, depending on the age of your child:
Be affectionate and nurturing: hold, comfort, talk and sing with your baby, toddler and child.
Help your baby experience joy in “give-and-take” relationships by playing games like “peek-a-boo.”
Provide your toddler with responsive care, letting them practice new skills while still providing hands-on help.
Support your child’s developing skills; help him/her, but don’t do everything for your child, even if it takes longer or is messy.
Teach social and emotional skills, such as taking turns, listening and resolving conflict.
What happens if we don’t manage emotions
One of the most important ways parents or guardians can help is by listening to their children and taking their feelings seriously. They may want a hug, they may want you to help them change something or they may want practical help.
Children and young people’s negative feelings usually pass. However, it’s a good idea to get help if your child is distressed for a long time if their feelings are stopping them from getting on with their lives, if their distress is disrupting family life or if they are repeatedly behaving in ways you wouldn’t expect at their age.
What’s Troubling Tawny? The award-winning second book in the Sumatran Trilogy! Tawny longs to make friends with another rhino, but her shyness holds her back. When she meets a hornbill called Tallulah, she is surprised to learn that she has a lot in common with the beautiful bird.
Poppy the porcupine has always wanted to make a friend, but her defensive nature prevents her. When a young tiger cub stumbles upon her one day in the rainforest, she reacts badly and scares him away.
Determined to change her ways, she sets out to find him, but little does she know that the tiger cub is about to have a problem of his own. In the face of danger, will Poppy find a way to save the day?
The Problem with Poppy is the award-winning debut picture book by British author Emma Sandford. Illustrated by Ukrainian artist Olena Osadcha.
If you could change something about yourself, would you do it?
When Sarah Simpkins is teased about her shadow in the school playground, she finds herself wishing she didn’t have one.
That night she has the chance to make the wish come true. But will losing her shadow really make her happy?
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Let’s Be Friends Again
Purchase the book below:
Let’s Be Friends Again
Kids World Books – Sibling fights, tantrums and subsequent bonding is the theme of this story.
The story is narrated by a boy and he narrates rather than shares his experiences with his sister. The boy and the girl play together. They spend most of their leisure time together. Just like every sibling, they fight often and bond subsequently.
The boy finds some trouble with his sister. The boy sometimes babysits for his sister and she used to trouble him! However, she was a good listener and the boy used to tell some great stories. The boy refused to share his toys with her. Yet, the smart girl used to grab all her brother’s toys. The tantrum began when the girl played with his brother’s pet turtle!
The girl thought that the tank where the pet turtle was kept was too small for the turtle. She carried it to the pond and let it free in the pond.
The boy was as angry as he lost his pet turtle. He showed his anger in many ways. He shouted at her. He threw away his toys and kept on thinking about his turtle. His parents supported his sister. He planned to avenge the loss of his pet and imagined many things. (This is definitely a fun part that everyone would die laughing).
He couldn’t sleep for hours thinking about the pet. He then saw his sister playing in the garden so happy like never before. The boy was surprised as well as very angry seeing her sister happy.
He made a decision! What was that?
Let’s be friends again, the lovable brother and sister, their cute fights, rivalry, etc are narrated beautifully. It happens very commonly in every household.
Children and young people are still developing – they don’t have adult brains or bodies, so need help to understand and manage their emotions.
You’ve probably heard your parents or grandparents say “they’re just attention seeking” or “they’re being difficult”. But there’s usually more to it than this.
We often ask people who contact Children 1st Parentline: “What is your child trying to tell you when they’re acting like that?” Looked at this way, unwanted behaviour is usually about a child needing something – or their way of trying to work out how to manage something.
From a toddler’s need for comfort to a teenager’s conflicting desires for independence and security, testing behaviour is common and is often set off by everyday experiences rather than big events.
Jodi also thinks the book will come just at the right time for children who have had to shut themselves away all year and might be scared to try something new.
She added: “It is a lovely story for 4–7-year-olds about taking yourself out of your comfort zone to try new things.
“Worley’s story is a fab way to engage children with these cute little monsters and learn how to develop their confidence.
“The book also included suggested activities for parent and adult readers.
“I’m also now writing my second story for the series about Worley and Co!
“Having suffered quite a bit as a kid – I lost my dad at 10 and my best friend at 14 – and had a lot of bullying and not nice things going on and I didn’t know how to cope,” she explained.
“That had a massive effect on me as an adult which led to a breakdown. I don’t want kids to go through what I did. The more people I can teach and I can help the better. I don’t think I would have had as big a meltdown if I already had tools to use.
“My characters are all monsters – I have a whole tribe of emotions monsters that teach children about emotions. Worley is the main one and he meets his friends with different emotions.
“The first one was teaching him to be brave and through the monster, you learn you might make a mistake but it will be fine. He realises he doesn’t need to be the best at everything.
“The second book is about anger. The book is written as a rhyme; basically, Worley gets angry and doesn’t know what it is. His friend George, the angry monster, teaches him it is ok to be angry and how to manage it.
“It is done in quite a fun way so children can understand.”
Buster Finds His Beat
Purchase the book below:
Buster Finds His Beat
A feel-good story about an autistic boy, That will capture your imagination and fill you with joy.
Buster uses ear defenders to soften sounds he hears, Find out what happens when he faces his fears…
Pick up your copy, you’ll be in for a treat, As he uses the power of sound to find his own beat.
The first book in a new rhyming picture book series from D.M. Mullan and Kirsteen Harris Jones – welcome to D.M. Mullan’s Curious Tales… Hector van Groat If something is missing, and you’re feeling blue, you could learn from Hector, who feels this way too. This little genius lives in an upside-down boat, and he grunts from his hill like a grumpy old goat. “Hector van Groat needs no one but Hector because he is a genius, a crazy inventor”.
A beautifully illustrated picture book about mental health for young readers. Where Is My Smile? is the story of a little boy who can’t find his smile anywhere. He searches and searches, but it’s nowhere to be found. Where could his smile be? This delightful picture book is perfect as a bedtime story, and to help little children understand that it’s okay to be sad sometimes, but we can always find our way through it.
Final Thoughts
I hope you enjoyed reading my list of books to inspire conversations with your toddler about emotions.
Do you have any of these books? Or will you be purchasing them? What techniques do you use to explore emotions?
I would love to hear from you in the comments below.
You never look good trying to make someone else look bad!
Today I have a great guest post to share with you all! All about Effective Leadership.
Trishna Patnaik has a BSc (in Life Sciences) and MBA (in Marketing) by qualification but is an artist by choice. A self-taught artist based in Mumbai, Trishna has been practising art for over 14 years. After she had a professional stint in various reputed corporates, she realised that she wanted to do something more meaningful. She found her true calling in her passion which is painting. Trishna is now a full-time professional painter pursuing her passion to create and explore to the fullest. She says, “It’s a road less travelled but a journey that I look forward to every day.” Trishna also conducts painting workshops across Mumbai and other metropolitan cities in India.
Trishna is an art therapist and healer. She works with clients on a one-on-one basis in Mumbai.
Trishna fancies the art of creative writing and is dappling her hands in that too, to soak in the experience and an engagement with readers, wanderers and thinkers.
Bullying is a distinctive pattern of repeatedly and deliberately harming and humiliating others, specifically those who are smaller, weaker, and younger or in any way more vulnerable than the bully. The deliberate targeting of those of lesser power is what distinguishes bullying from garden-variety aggression.
Quick note: Some of the links contained on this page are affiliate links and if you go through them to make a purchase, I will earn a commission. I only recommend products I use myself and think would be useful for other people.
Bullying can involve verbal attacks (name-calling and making fun of others) as well as physical ones, threats of harm, other forms of intimidation, and deliberate exclusion from activities. Bullying peaks around ages 11 to 13 and decreases as children grow older! Overt physical aggression such as kicking, hitting, and shoving is most common among younger children; relational aggression—damaging or manipulating the relationships of others, such as spreading rumours, and social exclusion—is more common as children mature!
Most bullying occurs in and around school and on playgrounds. Approximately 20 percent of students report being bullied at school. Boys and girls are equally likely to be bullied.
Why People Bully
People bully because it can be an effective way of getting what they want, at least in the short term, and because they lack the social skills to do so without harming others. Bullying also is a way of establishing social dominance, although over time, as children’s behavioural repertoires generally broaden, it becomes the increasingly dysfunctional way.
Are bullies born or made?
Bullies are made, not born, and it happens at an early age; if the normal aggression of 2-year-olds is not handled with consistency, children fail to acquire internal restraints against such behaviour. Bullying remains a very durable behavioural style, largely because bullies get what they want—at least at first!
What are the psychological features of bullies?
Bullies have a distinct psychological makeup. They lack prosocial behaviour, are untroubled by anxiety, and do not understand others’ feelings. They exhibit a distinctive cognitive feature, a kind of paranoia: They misread the intentions of others, often imputing hostility in neutral situations. Others may not like them, but they typically see themselves quite positively. Those who chronically bully tend to have strained relationships with their parents and peers.
Who Bullies Target
Bullies couldn’t exist without victims, and they don’t pick on just anyone. Those singled out for bullying lack assertiveness even in non-threatening situations and radiate fear long before they ever encounter a bully. These are children who don’t stand up for themselves!
How do bullies decide who to pick on?
Up to about age 7, bullies pick on almost anyone. After that, they single out kids to prey on; engaging in a “shopping process” to determine which other children would make suitably submissive victims. Bullies like victims who become visibly upset when they are picked on and who do not have friends or allies. Those chosen as victims evince insecurity and apprehension.
What are the distinguishing features of victims?
Victims easily acquiesce to bullies’ demands, handing over bikes, toys, and other playthings. They cry and assume a defensive posture; their highly visible displays of pain and suffering are rewarding to bullies and serve as an important signal of the bully’s dominance. Children who become victims offer no deterrent to aggression, which can make them disliked even by their non-bullying peers.
Why Bullying Is So Harmful
Bullying carries the implicit message that aggression and violence are acceptable solutions to problems when they are not. Cooperation and the peaceful resolution of differences support an increasingly interconnected world. Bullying not only harms its victims, but it also harms the perpetrators themselves! Most bullies have a downward spiralling course through life, as their aggressive behaviour interferes with learning, holding a job, and establishing and maintaining intimate relationships.
Do bullies grow out of it?
Some bullies do leave the behaviour behind. But many do not; aggression is a very stable social interaction style. Many who were bullies as children turn into antisocial adults, who are far more likely than nonaggressive kids to commit crimes, batter their wives, abuse their children—and produce another generation of bullies.
How to Handle a Bully
The best defence against bullying is being socially skilled—teaching all children social skills and allowing them to develop confidence in their own abilities. As social engineers for young children, parents are especially important in bully-proofing their children: They can regularly inquire about social challenges their children face and role-play possible solutions. The second-best defence against bullying is to walk away and not fight back.
What can you do to stop bullies?
If you are being bullied, you should talk to someone you know well and trust; they will give you much-needed support and will often have suggestions you hadn’t considered for helping with the situation.
You might feel more comfortable taking a friend with you to talk to the bully or when seeking help. If you feel you might get too nervous to speak, write down what you’d like to say on paper or in an email. If you feel safe and confident, you should approach the person who is bullying you and tell them that their behaviour is unwanted and not acceptable.
If you are being bullied while at school, it is a good idea to seek help from a friend or to talk to a teacher or counsellor to see if they can help.
Four Types of bullying behaviour
Physical – examples include: hitting, pushing, shoving or intimidating or otherwise physically hurting another person, damaging or stealing their belongings. It includes threats of violence
Verbal/written – examples include: name-calling or insulting someone about an attribute, quality or personal characteristic
Social (sometimes called relational or emotional bullying) – examples include: deliberately excluding someone, spreading rumours, sharing information that will have a harmful effect on the other person and/or damaging a person’s social reputation or social acceptance
Cyberbullying – any form of bullying behaviour that occurs online or via a mobile device. It can be verbal or written, and can include threats of violence as well as images, videos and/or audio.
Bullying can have a massive impact on your mental health, both now and in the future. If you’re bullied as a child or teenager, you might be twice as likely to use mental health services as an adult. It doesn’t matter if you’re being bullied at school, at home or online, bullying can mess with your head. But you’re not alone, and you deserve support.
Common Types of Bullies
Bullies have different styles, personalities, goals, and behaviours. Their motivations for and methods of bullying are all different! And not all bullies will fit neatly into a category. Some bullies will fall into several categories and some may appear to be in a category all their own.
Bully-Victims
Bullying victims often rise up after being bullied. They bully others weaker than them because they, too, have been bullied. Their goal usually is to regain a sense of power and control in their lives.
This type of bully is very common. In fact, a large number of kids who bully others have been bullied themselves by peers. Their bullying is a way of retaliating for the pain they are feeling. Other times the bully victim comes from a home with domestic violence or suffers abuse from an older sibling. In these cases, bullying is a learned behaviour.
Popular Bullies
Popular bullies have big egos. They are confident and condescending. They usually have a group of followers and may feel like they rule the school. These bullies have a sense of entitlement that can stem from their popularity, size, upbringing, or socioeconomic status. They thrive on the physical power and control they have over their victims and may boast about their bullying.
Popular bullies are sometimes the school’s star athlete or perceived school leader. They flourish on the attention and power they get from bullying. Peers often tolerate this type of bully because they would rather be accepted than bullied.
Relational Bullies
The relational bully is usually a somewhat-popular student who enjoys deciding who is accepted at school and who isn’t. Excluding, isolating, and ostracizing others are the most common weapons used by this type of bully. Most often, the relational bully will use only verbal or emotional bullying to maintain control. Many times, mean girls are relational bullies.
Relational bullies also maintain their power by using rumours, gossip, labels, and name-calling. Typically, they target others because they are jealous or feel they are socially unacceptable. Maintaining popularity is the key reason for relational aggression. The relational bully will do anything to be part of the “in the crowd.”
Serial Bullies
The serial bully is another type of bully often found in popular circles. These bullies are systematic, controlled, and calculated in their approach. Parents, teachers, and administrators may have no idea what a serial bully is capable of. Serial bullies are skilled manipulators and liars and are usually fake friends. Their sweet and nice persona is just another way to manipulate situations to their liking.
They are able to twist facts and situations to make themselves look innocent or to get out of trouble when confronted. In fact, serial bullies are often so skilled at deception that their victims often are afraid to speak up, convinced that no one will ever believe them.
Group Bullies
Bullies in this category are part of a group and have a pack mentality when they are together. They tend to bully as a group but behave much differently when they are alone—even if they are alone with the victim. Usually, group bullies are cliques that imitate the leader of the group and just follow along.
Because kids feel insulated when they are in a group, they often feel free to say and do things they wouldn’t do otherwise. They also feel less responsible for their actions because “everyone is doing it.” This is a very dangerous type of bullying because things quickly can escalate out of control.
Indifferent Bullies
Indifferent bullies are often unable to feel empathy. As a result, they can often appear cold, unfeeling, and detached and have very little, if any, remorse for what they do to others. Indifferent bullies are bullying for the sheer enjoyment of seeing another person suffer. They are not deterred by disciplinary actions. Traditional bullying intervention does not usually bring about change in their bullying. Additionally, indifferent bullies are often vicious and have deep psychological problems that need to be addressed by a professional.
Whoever is trying to bring you down is already below you.
AD – We’ve recently renovated most rooms in the house, and it was time for a refresh. We don’t want the hassle of fully decorating. But a simple canvas photo, which displays your cherished family memories, can bring the room to life.
I am excited to share with you some new canvas pictures I’ve created…
In this post, I want to discuss the reasons I display so many pictures on my wall at home:
Mental Health Benefits
If I’m having a bad day, looking at cherished family memories displayed on my wall can lift my mood. It makes me feel much better. I find myself standing there for a while, thinking about all the great times we’ve had. It’s great to look forward to creating even more family memories. And reminisce about the good times with grandparents who’ve now passed.
Strengthening the family unit
Research shows that children who grow up around images of their family unit, learn who they are and where they fit in. What a wonderful lesson for your children. My toddler has commented on our pictures many times before. And she always notices and gets very excited, when we put new ones up.
Helps us form stronger memories
Picturing memories as clearly as when the photograph was taken, helps us remember them accurately. The human memory is a funny thing and it can fade as we grow older.
I remember looking through an old suitcase of photographs that my Grandma had. It was my favourite pastime when I visited her house. And my little one is following in the family’s footsteps. She gets excited when we have a new photograph on display. And regularly asks to look through the photographs on our phones, or photo prints hidden away in storage boxes.
Creates a feeling of homeliness
What is more homely than having your immediate family displayed on your wall at home? We get comments from everyone who visits our house, on how lovely our images are. And whilst some family members moan because I take “too many” photos on a day out. They are always happy to see the end result and the lasting memories.
Create a timeline with a gallery wall
In our house, we have a whole wall dedicated to the birth of my little one, surrounded by other family memories. We explain the story of how she arrived and let her look at the pictures. It’s a great way to approach a tough subject with your other family members. My birth story caused me a lot of pain and trauma for a while. But I am now finally able to look back having moved on. And I always loved the birth pictures being displayed, despite how challenging the experience was.
Now let’s talk about how I created these wonderful images:
Collage Canvas
If you follow any of my blogs, you will know I love a good collage to display several photos in a set format. The templates available at MYPICTURE.co.uk are easy to use and provide you with a picture arrangement to group together and display your favourite memories.
We have two collage canvases’ on our wall and will be gifting another one to a family member. Creating lasting memories like this can make a wonderful gift for family members. It will never go out of fashion or be hidden away in a drawer.
Nothing can beat cherished family memories…
Photoboard
I love the photo board idea. It looks great on the shelf next to the TV. And is a recent picture of our little family. Doing what we love best – being outdoors and walking in nature.
Mouse mat
This memory is from a holiday abroad. Somewhere our family has visited for years and it has a special place in our hearts.
It will make the perfect gift and I can’t wait to see the reaction!
Discount code
You can now use discount code CONQUERING15. The code gives a 15% discount on top of any other discount running on MYPICTURE.co.uk
Final thoughts
My next step is to create a photo gift, using my toddler’s wonderful nursery pictures. Like other parents, we have so many and it’s difficult to display them all.
Any suggestions on how to do this?
Do you have photo walls at home? What are your thoughts on canvas photo collages?
I would love to hear from you in the comments below.
Speak to enough people, and you’ll get a sense that no one really wants to work — they just do it because, well, they have to. Yet, while it’s fine to just make a living so you can enjoy other aspects of your life. We all know that, deep down, it’d be much more satisfying to make an income by doing something that you truly love. If you’re passionate about your work, then, on most days, it won’t feel like work at all. Learn how to Make Money from your passion…
Pexels – CC0 Licence
Making money from your passion can seem like a pipe dream, but it’s more within reach than you might expect. In this post, we’ll look at a few ways that you can earn that bread doing something you love.
Become a Coach
If you have a talent for something, then in all likelihood, they’ll be other people who also wish they had that talent. You might never sell out Madison Square Garden with your guitar, but you can take all your learning and understanding and help other people to improve their own skills. There are plenty of ways to sell your skills online, too — for example, you could consider putting together an online course. If it’s good enough, then you will make sales.
Create Your Own Products
You could also consider creating your own products. All those products you see for sale in the store? They didn’t come out of thin air — they’re there because someone made them. Of course, it’s unlikely that you’ll ever be able to create your own car. But your own t-shirts, makeup products, home decor items, and accessories? As with anything, if they’re good enough, then people will be interested in buying them. Look at selling online and at craft markets.
Start a Marketplace
You don’t even necessarily need to make your own products to begin selling. One increasingly popular option is to put together your own online marketplace where vendors can sell their products. This requires more work than most other suggestions here, but equally, it can be much more profitable, since you’ll get a cut of every product sold. Take a look at this handy ‘create online marketplace’ guide to see the steps that you need to take. The beauty of this business idea is that it can provide a relatively passive income since you’re just creating an environment where other people can buy and sell.
Follow the Path of Others
Everyone wants to make a living via their passion. But here’s the thing — some people have actually been able to do it. It’s these people that you should be looking at. Seeing how other people have made their dreams come true can provide a valuable source of inspiration that can motivate you to carry on even when the going gets tough. How you do it will differ from how they’ve done it, but you’ll likely find that there’s much that you can learn from them. You may even contact them directly to see if they can help you/you can help them.
Today I am so excited to welcome a guest blogger! I am also over the moon to introduce a mummy, also facing difficult issues with a newborn. I can relate to this. My guest blogger today has turned a negative experience of her own into something to help others. All the details you need to connect with Lauryn can be found at the end of this post.
POST UPDATED 30 July 2022
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Let’s dive into why a sleep routine is important
I felt very ready to have a baby in every sense. I was 32 years old and financially secure. It was great that I had a successful teaching career of ten years and my relationship was strong.
As a confessed perfectionist, when we fell pregnant, I did all of the homework to be fully prepared. We did an online hypnobirthing course together. I planned my drug-free, calm labour. In addition, I planned to breathe the baby out (LOL) simply. I also knew all there was to know about the fourth trimester. I was, of course going to breastfeed. It was on the agenda to get started early with a bedtime routine. Additionally, I planned to be back in the gym from six weeks postnatal. I also signed up for lots of baby classes with my NCT friends.
I had all of the right things to ensure a sound night’s sleep for our baby. The right clothes, crib, mattress, baby monitor, and dream sheep to get her sleeping easily. You name it, we had it.
Finally, eight days after my due date, I started feeling labour pains. My feelings were weirdly nervous and excited. I just could not wait to meet this baby I felt so connected to during the pregnancy. Preparing, I calmly got my hypnobirthing tools ready. Bouncing on my ball, candles lit, and a comedy video, had me feeling prepared.
My labour did not go as planned. After 30 hours, I ended up having an emergency C-section and my daughter came out with suspected sepsis and was whisked straight off to neonatal care.
Once I got home, all the planning we had done during pregnancy felt pointless. I felt beyond unprepared for this responsibility. Breastfeeding was not working for us and I felt like the ultimate failure in getting the formula out. My daughter had classic colic and cried for 3-6 hours every evening. It was exhausting and I felt awful I was unable to console her.
How had I gone from feeling as if I knew exactly what to expect, to this? I realised that one thing no one had told me might come with new motherhood. Anxiety.
I have never been an overly anxious person, but all of a sudden every aspect of motherhood was anxiety-inducing. Breastfeeding, sleep, guests coming over, leaving the house. All of it. My plans to go to classes and groups were far too big for me to face and I was so anxious about guests coming in case she would cry and I would not be able to settle her.
How lockdown impacted the situation
Eight weeks after she was born, we were plunged into the very first lockdown. This was great for me because it meant I didn’t have to face my anxiety about going out or guests coming over. Although in hindsight, there were negative aspects, because it didn’t give me a chance to talk to professionals, as medical visits and access to health visitors had ceased.
To regain control, I started a very rigid sleep routine with my little one. Every nap had to be to the minute of my new programme. The sleep environment had to be perfect. If it ever went out of the window, it was a huge stress for me and could ruin my entire lockdown day.
Light at the end of the tunnel
Needless to say, I realised it was time to do some mental digging and see what was going on. I opened up to friends who had suffered postnatally and searched for information online. After thinking about it, I eventually concluded that anxiety was linked to birth trauma. I had not given myself the chance to go over my labour or the fact she was taken straight from me due to being ill upon arrival.
Once I did a little work on myself through the lockdown, the pressure I’d put myself under started to lift. I introduced yoga, meditation, and journaling into my routine.
Turning a negative into a positive
I eased up a little on the sleep routine and now two years down the line I have trained to become a sleep consultant to work with families on gentle sleep schedules and training, to cause the least anxiety possible.
If anyone out there is new to this parenting gig and finding things tough, open up. Talk it out when you’re ready and know that this storm will pass and get better. More beautiful days are coming your way.
Lauryn and her little one
Angelcare were fantastic for all of our baby’s needs when we had a newborn. Check them out.
More details on how to contact Lauryn
Lauryn has worked as a full-time teacher for 10 years, teaching Drama and English in both primary and secondary settings. Since having her first child, Eliza, she realised the importance of sleep for well-being and this led to her training to become a sleep consultant in Summer 2021. Lullaby Lauryn launched in October and she can’t wait to help as many families as possible improve their sleep.
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