Quick note: Some of the links on this page are affiliate links; if you go through them to make a purchase, I will earn a commission. I only recommend products I use myself and think would be useful for other people.
Welcome to my post about Paddleboarding in the Lake District. My review of Jo Moseley’s second book, with stunning images and helpful information to get started.
Quick note: Some of the links contained on this page are affiliate links and if you go through them to make a purchase, I will earn a commission. I only recommend products I use myself and think would be useful for other people.
Jo’s background and why it matters
If you’ve read any previous posts on this blog or viewed my social media accounts, you will know I am a huge fan of rising from the ashes after facing adversity. It’s how this blog was born! And I encourage everyone else to change their situation for the better – when they can.
Jo’s backstory is one of adversity, followed by a growing passion for exercise, which became some of the most amazing achievements.
In May 2013, I found myself sobbing in the biscuit aisle of Tesco’s, looking at the chocolate Hob Nobs and wondering how my life had come to this. I was 48, a busy working Mum, flying solo with my boys.
Both my parents were undergoing chemotherapy at the time and I was overwhelmed, anxious and desperate for a good night’s sleep. What I didn’t realise was that I was going through the early stages of the perimenopause at the time.
I can relate to this quote. At nearly 40 years old, I finally feel the most confident and free I ever have. But it’s been many years of adversity in the making.
I pride myself on being organised, and what I love about Jo’s book is the detail. You will find coordinates on specific places you can set off on your paddleboard. When reading, you can be safe knowing Jo has already done it and therefore, you are safe.
You can easily use the book as a guide. Like a map. If you’re visiting a specific part of the Lake District and you are taking your paddleboard along, you can be sure there will be instructions on how you set off on your paddleboard and experience the freeing feeling of nature.
I love this section of the book because it is filled with honesty about how to get started. When we start a new hobby, we often default to buying things, but Jo suggests starting with paddleboarding lessons to see how you like the activity.
From a confidence perspective, I love that this section exists. Often when you start a new physical activity, confidence and knowing how to start are the two most important things. The things that would literally stop you from completing the first step. This section of the book reduces the fear and anxiety you can experience when deciding to try something new.
Aren’t these the most important aspects of any trip? Where to get your snacks – much-needed fuel for any exercise and parking or where to stay in a hotel, is the most vital information. And it’s the first thing I look at when planning my trip. It’s great that Jo includes these all important details in the book.
The photos
For anyone who has visited The Lakes before, you will know the images are simply stunning. And the photos included in Jo’s book are a joy to look at.
In the images, she looks so happy and free and these images inspire anyone wanting to try paddleboarding.
Head over and check them out. It’s great to have my writing on other people’s sites. Follow me on Twitter for updates on my guest posts.
Read all about why I started a TikTok account here.
Sign up for my monthly newsletter, to gain access to exclusive offers & updates.
Sign up for my freebie library. Each week there will be a new freebie added to help organise your life and take away some stress!
A summary of my recent writing on other platforms
In recent months I’ve also expanded where I publish my writing. Some of what I want to say doesn’t fit with the topics on this blog and it’s refreshing to publish on another platform.
In this article I explore why mummy and baby care is important and the barriers currently in place to achieving this.
Quick note: Mummy Conquering Anxiety is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program. Some of the links contained on this page are affiliate links and if you go through them to make a purchase, I will earn a commission. I only recommend products I use myself and thinkwould be useful for you.
What is mummy and baby care?
My definition
If the mother is well looked after, the baby will be. If the baby is happy, the mother is happy. There is nothing worse than seeing your child in pain or not thriving. But how do you cope with this when you’re not at your best self either.
In this article I aim to explore this topic.
Whilst mother and baby care sounds amazing, I just don’t think it happens currently.
To me, caring for both mother and baby means separate care for both parties and caring for one another. When you Google the term, you are met with several results which talk all about “massage” and “wellness” for the expectant mother.
I also believe it means a wider family group caring for both parties. In the lead-up to pregnancy, people often offer to pay for massages for the mother, anything which will help with the physical burden of carrying an almost full-sized baby.
How many birth announcements say “mother and baby doing well”? There is no avoiding the fact that following birth, it’s usually a birthing partner or another person who has to take control of things. I was certainly not my best self following the birth of my little one, and we need to acknowledge this is completely normal. Mothers should feel like they can rest and recover, without feeling guilty.
I am on a mission to talk about the reality of birth. And unfortunately, mummy care wasn’t something I experienced in the hospital. The other mothers on the ward didn’t appear to either. It was my hubby who took control during my time on the maternity ward and I felt truly cared for when I returned home. I felt safe. I was back in my environment. I can understand why expectant mothers opt for home births. But then this raises the issue of what happens when there are complications. For me, a home birth wouldn’t have worked, because I had to be rushed into an emergency c section.
Based on my own experience, you don’t need to give birth to a baby in order to form a bond. However, if you were the one who gave birth, the physical and emotional demands can be heavy.
Is there an equal balance between mummy and baby care?
Is there a balance between care for the mother and care for the baby?
Going through the pregnancy and birth stages, in my opinion, no there isn’t. The responsibility is placed on the mother, to care for and feed for the baby. This is due to physical demands and also the fact the mother is, unavoidably the nurturer.
That said, I do think a birthing partner can have a huge impact on those early stages. In my earlier blog posts, I talk about the fact I was unable to go see our little one and it was my hubby who visited her in the baby unit. They now have a strong bond because of those early days. He looked after us both at the time. Based on my own experience, you don’t need to give birth to a baby to form a bond. However, if you were the one who gave birth, the physical and emotional demands can be heavy.
All things considered, I don’t think there is much room for mummy care in the early days. However, I was lucky to receive some form of rest when I returned home because my hubby ended up with a month off work. Paternity and annual leave fell at exactly the right time!
But what about the women who don’t have this level of support?
During my breakdown, I sometimes felt like asking the doctor whether I should break my leg because then I wouldn’t be accused of being dishonest to stay off work. It’s just not good enough.
The reality for the mother
Physical changes
I struggled during my pregnancy, due to sickness, working full time, and severe hip pain. I also nearly fainted every day in the office at work, because I run hot anyway. It was a pretty grim time and I discuss it here.
Honestly, I can’t remember a single day during the pregnancy phase where I felt happy. I felt worn down and depressed for most of my pregnancy. I have never felt tiredness like it in my life.
Hormonal changes
I’m now surprised to read the science says hormonal changes remain for up to a year after pregnancy. This means the timescale for ‘giving your body over’ to create life is more like two years at least. The no alcohol, better diet, creation stage, the actual pregnancy. Dealing with irrational thoughts for at least a year!
It may sound cliche or you may think I’ve truly gone mad, but it is all worth it. This is not to say you come away unscathed though.
You can never be the same person again. In some respects I’m glad, in others I would change it if I could. I would change the niggling hip and back pain I still get after an epidural. By the way, no health professional wants to acknowledge it’s even a thing. I got told “all effects will be over in six weeks” and I think it’s a BS reply. But this rant is for another day, another post.
Sign up to my monthly newsletter here…
Huge shift in lifestyle
I went from working full time, being a career woman, the highest earner in the house, to a stay-at-home mum on maternity leave. The change for me couldn’t have been more drastic. This gigantic shift in routine alone would cause potential mental health problems for the average person. Add this to the other burdens a new mother faces and you can see why it’s tough. And why new mothers are more likely to develop mental health issues.
Being responsible for a helpless tiny human being is a lot for one person to take on. I discuss in this post how I felt like I would drop our little one on the floor and was scared to allow germs into the house.
Why does mother and baby care matter?
Let’s revisit my definition – If the mother is well looked after, the baby will be. If the baby is happy, the mother is happy. There is nothing worse than seeing your child in pain or not thriving. But how do you cope with this when you’re not at your best self either.
I’ve been less than my best self on many occasions throughout the process of pregnancy and motherhood. I want to send a message out to all parents. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that. It’s normal and mothers do an amazing job each day, under sometimes impossible conditions.
Caring for the new mother matters just as much as caring for a baby. However, in reality, most families don’t have the time or means to satisfy both. We plodded along. Thankfully I have great parents who help us out. It’s only now, we are at the toddler stage, that things are getting a bit easier in terms of independent play and us as adults having time to spend together and do normal things again.
Because of the impact, the first pregnancy had on me, and therefore us as a family. Naturally, I am reluctant to go through that process again. My hubby asked me the other day whether I would be less reluctant to have another baby if money wasn’t a factor and I said I didn’t know. My decision is unfortunately warped by the negative experiences I had the first time around.
What information is out there on the subject?
When researching this post, I was unsurprised to find pages and pages of Google information which focused solely on the physical changes a mother goes through. What I want to see is a useful article talking about emotional and mental stressors and how to handle this. Thank you to Tommy’s for including a section related to mental health.
I mean, a doctor wouldn’t review your broken leg without asking whether you need pain medication, time off work, and emotional support. With a side note to check your mental health is not suffering, due to the pain. Why then, aren’t we offering the same to women with serious mental health conditions as a result of pregnancy? During my breakdown, I sometimes felt like asking the doctor whether I should break my leg because then I wouldn’t be accused of being dishonest to stay off work. It’s just not good enough.
Striking a balance during difficult financial circumstances
Fast forward to the inevitable financial impact pregnancy and the birthing stage has on a mother. In the UK we have a maternity and childcare system that is very much geared towards the mother taking care of the child. For this to change, government policies would need to change, and I hope this happens.
At the time of writing this article, the government has announced a support package for young families and I am pleased to say it includes an allocation of money dedicated to mental health services. But I agree with the recent criticism that more needs to be done.
The downside to the UK childcare system
In the UK, you can claim statutory maternity pay for up to nine months. To add some context here, months 5-9 for me were paid at a third of my usual income. The nursery wanted a full payment as a deposit upfront. Therefore we had to meet this whilst I was on maternity leave. We still had the same bills to pay, with a drastic loss of income.
A day at any nursery costs between £40.00 and £55.00 in the UK. Unless you have an amazing, top-level job, putting a child into nursery full time and working comes down to a debate about money and whether it is worth it. Many women in the UK have to face this reality each day.
A possible solution?
I’ve just watched this TED Talk and honestly, I think what is proposed is a great solution to the childcare problem. It’s clear lack of affordable childcare isn’t just an issue that impacts the UK.
How in 2021 are we still not giving babies the best possible start in life?
Lack of childcare or the heavy price tag is yet another factor adding to the existing burden of having a new baby. Add this to the mental impact, physical constraints, and hormones. I mean, it would be easier to ask what a mother doesn’t have to worry about.
The upside to the UK childcare system
We do receive 15-30 hours’ worth of free childcare when a child reaches three years old. How many hours you get within the bracket depends on whether you need term time care only. For example, if you are a teacher and have all the school holidays off work to care for your child, you wouldn’t need to put them in the nursery during those periods. Therefore, you would get 30 hours for the remaining weeks of the year. Unless one of us decides to apply for a job in a school, we will receive 15 hours per week.
It’s no secret we have struggled financially waiting to reach this marker. Whilst it’s not as simple as making demands on a government, I do think this age needs to be lowered to two years old. If the aim is to encourage more women in the UK to seek out high positions in their workplace and carve out a career path, which isn’t interrupted by pregnancy and the aftermath of birth.
In the UK we also have a shared parental leave scheme. I don’t think the scheme is advertised enough. And there is widespread criticism of the scheme. Many groups would like a revised scheme. My hubby and I would use the scheme if we have a second child. However, I know that little about it, I don’t even know if our employers would say yes. The government needs to create a revised plan where parents feel empowered to make that choice, and know exactly what steps to take to make it happen. How wonderful it could be, that parents get to spend an equal amount of time with a new baby.
When bringing a second child into the world, I also hope it doesn’t come down to a choice between one of us working or not working. We both want our independence, to earn money, to give our child the benefit of development in a nursery setting. We also want to spend time together as a family. Currently, in the UK, it’s pretty impossible to achieve this.
Changes in society
Surely dads, partners, other parties caring for the child want to participate in the early stages of the baby’s life. Let’s all open our minds to the fact any loving parents can care for a child, it doesn’t just have to be the mother. What I’m saying here is a societal change in mindset must happen to make every scenario acceptable when thinking about who can care for a child.
My hubby talks about getting funny looks when he went to Mothercare alone to buy some clothes when our little one was in the baby unit. I couldn’t go because I was unable to walk at the time, following my c section. He was also the only male to join our nursery Facebook group.
I do think this stigma is still prevalent and it makes me sad. My hubby wants to care for our little girl just as much as I do and we are struggling to try and make this happen. I must acknowledge, I love to see the dad bloggers on Twitter talking from their perspective. It makes me happy, we are starting to see a balance. Good on you Dads!
Let’s give some shout-outs to ALL parental figures in society
It takes a village – this is so true!
But I also want to shout out the dads, extended family members, grandparents who take control of the care for their grandchildren. Same-sex couples, adoptive parents, single parents (and any other category I’ve missed). I want society to adjust their expectations and have an open mind when it comes to the fact that ANYONE is capable of being an amazing parent. It doesn’t come down to biology.
As a society, we need to ditch the idea one person is solely responsible for the care of a child. The burden should be shared where possible. Speaking from experience, feeling supported is key when you are a new parent. Had I felt like this in hospital, my experience would have been different. And maybe my mental health wouldn’t have suffered so severely. We will never know!
How you can achieve your own mummy baby care balance?
As I don’t want to overload you with my rants, and because there is hope. I want to outline ways you can achieve both mummy and baby care. Even during busy and difficult times. Check out these life hacks for busy mums.
You don’t have to rely on a doctor or maternity services to get the outcome you need (although they should be fit for purpose). These are the techniques, tips, routines we have used:
Naps
Naps are essential when you are a new parent. You face a whole new level of tiredness. You didn’t realise anyone could survive on four hours of sleep. But you muddle through.
Everyone deserves a break. Enlist help from those around you, if you can. And never feel guilty about taking a nap. You need to recharge your batteries, so you can face the next challenge.
Rest
If all you’re able to do is sit on the sofa with the baby, or nap when the baby naps. Take this time and don’t feel bad about it.
I kept my mind active by playing on my phone whilst our little one slept on me. I would sit on the sofa, get comfortable and relax, but not sleep until she was fully settled.
Time away from the baby
If you can, accept help from other people.
When our little one was three months old, we stayed overnight at Village Hotels. Although I missed her like crazy, it was a lovely break away and we both needed it.
If you went through any other traumatic experience in life, you would give yourself a break. Going through pregnancy and birth can be one of the most traumatic experiences a person will ever go through and we need to acknowledge this.
Nursery
Attend a baby group, or enlist the help of the nursery to give yourself a break.
Naturally, I was reluctant to hand our little pumpkin over to a nursery at nine months old. However, it was the best thing for her. She loves it and has developed so much. I think it’s good for a little one to have some time away from their parents. It’s her own little thing that she does and we ask her about her day when she comes home.
Because we have strong feelings about the benefits of the nursery, we would want a second child to attend. I hope by the time we are in a position to make the decision, childcare benefits have improved. When bringing a second child into the world, I also hope it doesn’t come down to a choice between one of us working or not working. We both want our independence, to earn money, to give our child the benefit of development in a nursery setting. We also want to spend time together as a family. Currently, in the UK, it’s pretty impossible to achieve this.
Classes for parent and baby
In the early days, I was reluctant to attend these types of groups. Then I found Little Learners. My little one could barely sit up, but she loved feeling different textures and playing. Even being around other children and getting used to the noise level she would experience at the nursery was great for her. The class was held at a community centre and I was able to have some lunch and a coffee. It honestly transformed my life and got us both out of the house. Occasionally my hubby and mum would attend and it was a great morning out. I will always look back fondly at the memories made in those classes.
Time as a couple
Thankfully, my parents have always taken our little one over the weekend, for a day, and it helps me get on with the cleaning. I now blog and sometimes we get time together as a couple. It might be 20 minutes of uninterrupted chatter, but when you have an attention-grabbing toddler around, that 20 minutes is golden.
Every few months we also have a night to ourselves and we are so thankful for it.
Home spa
As I can’t afford the spa days I booked pre-baby, a home spa is a perfect solution. When I haven’t had enough sleep, I find a nice hot bath, and a face mask gives me a little, much-needed refresh. We also have a foot spa and I occasionally use it.
Even if all you can fit in is a five-minute face and hair mask, take this time. Do it whilst you are comforting the baby and look after yourself as well.
You can find some amazing home spa products below, along with a great points system if you sign up:
Final thoughts
I hope you enjoyed reading this article.
Please let me know your thoughts in the comments below.
Fancy some much needed child-free time? Book yourself a night at Village Hotels…
I came across this book when visiting the Bradford Literature Festival. I saw Horatio speak about the book and why he wrote it. I was intrigued. I signed up for the session because I had experienced my own mental health struggles. And honestly, I am all for people with a prominent voice speaking out against the stigma surrounding mental health.
Let’s have a look at the blurb
A story of the wonder and intensity of the manic experience, as well as its peril and strangeness, it is shot through with the love, kindness, humour and care of those who deal with someone who becomes dangerously ill. Partly a tribute to those who looked after Horatio, from family and friends to strangers and professionals, and partly an investigation into how we understand and treat acute crises of mental health, Heavy Light’s beauty, power and compassion illuminate a fundamental part of human experience. It asks urgent questions about mental health that affect each and every one of us.
Based on my experiences and my awareness that people with privilege are often able to access better health services (this goes for all health services and not just mental health). I was dubious about reading an account of mental health struggles from a well-known journalist.
To clarify, I am thankful people with status speak out – it’s needed. And I would NEVER diminish someone else’s mental health struggles – because mental health problems do not discriminate. It can happen to anyone – it doesn’t matter how much money you have in the bank or how big your house is. But it DOES matter that people may receive fair treatment regardless of their circumstances.
Privilege addressed in the book
Horatio himself addresses privilege and talks honestly about his situation compared to people in other circumstances. The latter part of the book also discusses possible treatments and outcomes for mental illness, with some great suggestions for alternative therapies and up-and-coming strategies for addressing mental health.
Why I ended up loving the book
Although I was dubious at first, I ended up loving the book. So much that I stayed up way too late reading endless pages. Just to find out more about Haratio’s journey.
The main themes I loved the most:
Impact on family
The book explores the huge impact that Haratio’s erratic behaviour had on his family. And their worries about managing his mental health moving forward. This rings true for so many people out there. Ultimately, if you had a broken leg, the people closest to you would pick up the tasks you were unable to do. The same applies to mental health. When someone is unable to function, because of their mind, it’s usually family and friends who protect and look after you.
Discussions about mental health with children
Because I was mentally ill during pregnancy and with the pressure of becoming a new mother, it was inevitable that I would have to discuss this with my child. Although she’s young, we are always honest with her about things. And we always will be. Explaining that Mummy sometimes has things going on in her mind. Therefore, she needs a rest and some downtime. These discussions are something we do regularly.
I wrote previously about toddler emotions. Kids pick up intuitively on more than we realise. And they always seem to know when something is wrong or you need a hug. Don’t underestimate their understanding. And as a parent or carer, consider being honest about your struggles. And about emotions and life in general.
The science
The science behind mental health problems is something widely debated. And it has impacted the treatment I received from day one. For example, the doctor was understandably reluctant to prescribe anti-depressants. But when I actually looked into the studies behind taking them, the data was inconclusive.
There literally is no right answer to what impacts an individual’s mental health. Everyone is different and therefore impacted differently. The book explores this in great detail and provides a balanced argument for studies and therapies available.
Summary
I hope you enjoyed my review of the book. If you want to check it out, click the links below:
I started this blog in August 2021, because I felt compelled to share my story with other people. Going through challenging circumstances, naturally makes you assess how resilient you really are. I was in a dark place at the time, social media and talking about my experiences really helped me. And I knew it would help other people.
Talking about your experiences could make someone feel less alone. I am now accepting mental health guest posts. I would love to help other people get their message out there – to the people who need it most.
Let’s explore – Topics To Get You Started In Talking About Your Mental Health
Everyone has a unique experience
I hope other people never experience the darkness of anxiety or depression. However, the reality is, that we may all experience challenging circumstances in life. There will be times when our stress bucket fills up and there needs to be an outlet. A healthy amount of anxiety is a natural defence mechanism. And in small amounts, it can keep us safe. But it’s when the balance tips that the problems begin.
Talking helps
It is no secret that talking to other people can help with our mental health. There has been amazing research on the power of community groups and connecting with our peers.
One main lesson I’ve taken from starting my blogs is that we can speak out – to help other people. But we may never know about the great impact this has. We don’t need to know. The purpose of kindness and empathy is to give it out. Not to measure the effect you had on someone’s life. Just know – that by talking honestly about your own story, you may positively impact someone else. You could even quietly save a life.
Sam – Mummy Conquering Anxiety Blog
Let’s dive into the topics you could talk about, to start a conversation which may help other people
The symptoms of your mental illness
Everyone is different. And like all other ailments, both physical and mental problems impact individuals differently. Talking about the symptoms you face, could help you relate to other people out there. Whi might also be experiencing the same thing as you.
Every person is different and no mental health diagnosis will impact people in the same way. Writing about what you personally do to stay well, despite your struggles, could help inspire someone else to adopt well-being tools.
Your mental health goals & aspirations
Because my mental breakdown was triggered by pregnancy, work stress and becoming a new mother, all of these factors are something I personally worry about. Overcoming this adversity and worry has proved to be a massive hurdle for me. But worth the work.
Often great life goals can be borne from the toughest of life circumstances. Writing about how you formulated these goals can be liberating. And it will definitely help other people.
Want more Topics To Get You Started In Talking About Your Mental Health?
Your daily & weekly self-care routine
We should ALL have a self-care routine. Despite what society tells us, it’s important. We look after ourselves physically but often neglect the mental health we should preserve and nurture.
Sharing what you do daily or weekly, to look after your mind can inspire other people to look after theirs. Or adopt some of your routines, which could prove to be life-changing for them.
An example from my own life was persevering with a Hypnotherapy course. Agreeing to start it was completely out of my comfort zone and some days, I was simply too busy to set aside time for the Zoom calls. But it was worth it. And I am now well versed in meditation, so much so that a quick 5-minute meditation recording really helps.
Life changes you’ve made to help your mental health
It’s a fact of life that we sometimes need to make significant changes in order to help our health. In the same way that you would eat less sugar if you were diabetic. Or you would pursue a course of physiotherapy after a severe physical injury. Sometimes we have to make changes to our lives to protect our mental health.
Sharing some of the life changes you might have made, with other people, may help them to start putting changes in place. Or start to think about the possibility of doing so. There is power in this.
Final Thoughts
One main lesson I’ve taken from starting my blogs is that we can speak out – to help other people. But we may never know about the great impact this has. We don’t need to know. The purpose of kindness and empathy is to give it out. Not to measure the effect you had on someone’s life. Just know – that by talking honestly about your own story, you may positively impact someone else. You could even quietly save a life.
It’s been four years since I had a mental breakdown and I’m now glad I can spot the signs of stressful period when things become too much. And, more importantly, actually do something about it before it spirals out of control too much. I never want to return to the position I was in when I had a mental breakdown. As such, it is now about damage control.
It’s no secret that I took a break from social media recently. But running this blog in my spare time is just one small part of my life. As with all working parents, we have a lot of other stress factors to deal with. And sometimes something tips the balance and it just becomes too much for us to handle.
When this happens, I face constant anxiety for a week or two. Get very run down, and become mentally and physically unwell. This then leads to depression and feelings of inadequacy.
It’s been four years since I had a mental breakdown and I’m now glad I can spot the signs of the stressful period when things become too much. And, more importantly, actually do something about it before it spirals out of control too much. I never want to return to the position I was in when I had a mental breakdown. As such, it is now about damage control.
The stress bucket
We all have a stress bucket and sometimes it can overflow. We live in a world which induces anxiety in the calmest of people. Therefore we have to be careful and look after our well-being. Hypnotherapy was one of the main therapies which helped me and I use it when my mental health takes a hit.
The mind needs maintenance – just like you would physically rest after a long walk or injury to your body. I also want to make it clear to everyone reading this post that dips in our mental well-being will occur. Life throws curveballs our way and sometimes, even just one factor of our lives, can cause all the other plates spinning to topple over. And it’s okay to feel that way. It’s okay, to be honest about how you’re feeling. And take the time you need to feel mentally well again.
Taking control of the situation can be difficult
When I am in the midst of anxiety, even the decision to do something about the way I am feeling whirls around in my mind constantly. Will people think I’m inadequate? Will they question me about the way I am feeling? Should I just sort myself out?
Some of this critical thinking comes from me being quite harsh on myself. Some of it is from traumatic past experiences.
Stress factors which can impact anyone
Stress in daily life
Childcare challenges
Money problems
Not allocating time for myself
Being too busy to relax
Communication problems in home life
Symptoms Of Anxiety taking over
Critical thinking
Thinking the past will repeat itself
Frantic thinking
Losing control of emotions
Lacking in motivation
Not wanting to put makeup on
Detached
Worn out emotionally
In desperate need of self-care
Remedies for becoming mentally well again
I know firsthand just how much strength it takes to motivate yourself when you feel unwell mentally. However, because I have a toddler, normal everyday life has to resume. I thrive on a routine and using my brain. As such, I don’t do well when I have to stop and rest.
My mental wellbeing routine also forms a structure and it takes me time to feel like myself again.
Honesty
I dealt with things differently this time. One of the main differences when things started to feel out of control, was my honesty with everyone around me. Once it was clear to me that things were getting worse and I couldn’t control it. It was time, to be fully honest. With myself, initially. But also everyone around me. Given my mental health history, my family are in tune with when I am not quite feeling myself.
I am proud of myself for finally being honest with everyone around me. Feeling comfortable talking about how I really feel, made the world of difference.
A lot of people struggle to open up about their mental health difficulties, for fear of being judged. Now I’ve created the work-life balance I need and I have supportive people around me, it was easier to open up.
Final thoughts
The mind needs maintenance – just like you would physically rest after a long walk or injury to your body. I also want to make it clear to everyone reading this post that dips in our mental well-being will occur. Life throws curveballs our way and sometimes, even just one factor of our lives, can cause all the other plates spinning to topple over. And it’s okay to feel that way. It’s okay, to be honest about how you’re feeling. And take the time you need to feel mentally well again.
According to the Word Health Organisation, approximately 16% of adults aged 60 and above suffer from a mental health disorder. In most cases, depression, anxiety disorders, dementia, and isolation are the most common issues. Caring for an elderly parent with mental health problems can be challenging and emotionally demanding, often requiring unique skills and support systems. Fortunately, the following tips can make the task easier.
Prepare yourself for the emotional aspect
Caring for an elderly parent is hard enough, but the difficulty level is higher when your ageing loved one has mental health issues. Of course, you love your parent, but other emotions can hinder you from providing the care they need. The most common things you may have to deal with r are worry, anger, frustration, and helplessness. All these are common; experiencing them does not make you a bad caregiver. Preparing yourself for these emotions can help you develop helpful ways to address them.
Monitor their movement
Available data shows that about 53,337 were detained under the Mental Health Act from 2001 to 2002. Older people also fall victim to such detentions when they have mental health issues. Don’t be surprised by how easily your elderly parent can slip out of the house and wander around. The last thing you want is to receive a call that they have been detained under the Mental Health Act.
So, always ensure you always have extra eyes on your ageing loved one. And in case of any detention, you can seek legal assistance, depending on where you live. For example, if you live in Sheffield, you can run an online search for ‘local solicitors Sheffield‘ to find legal experts near you. But make sure they have expertise in mental health cases.
Schedule regular medical visits
You’ll need all the professional help you can get, starting with regular medical visits. Your doctor will perform regular diagnoses and prescribe new treatments when necessary. You’ll also receive tips on how to care for your elderly parent and help them get better. Aside from visiting a doctor, work with therapists to help them learn how to cope with any underlying issues responsible for their poor mental health. You can also hire trained nurses or caregivers to provide home care and ease the burden of responsibility on your shoulders.
Educate yourself
It’s almost impossible to care for an ageing parent if you don’t know or understand what mental health challenges they’re dealing with. So, take the time to educate yourself about it. Understand its symptoms, triggers, and treatment options. This way, you can anticipate and address their unique needs. You can also contact support groups and find resources online.
Open, clear, and honest communication are crucial when caring for an ageing loved one with mental health issues. Speak calmly and do your best to ensure that you understand them and that they understand you. Also, encourage your parent to express their thoughts and feelings and actively listen without judging them. They might also need a safe and non-threatening environment, making them comfortable to open up or discuss their concerns. Being harsh, rude, disrespectful, or aggressive will only make your parents withdraw in fear and choose not to communicate.
I have a great guest post for you today. From Workingthedoors.co.uk.
I am happy to support any message about mental health, whatever industry that may be in. None of us are immune to the impact of mental health problems. And it’s all about raising awareness.
Whilst I am aware both men and women work in the security industry. It is a predominantly male-dominated occupation. And more importantly, we know men’s mental health isn’t talked about enough.
I hope this post helps anyone out there, who may be struggling mentally!
Introduction
It’s no surprise that working in the security industry can be demanding and at times dangerous. But few of us realize just how deep an impact it has on the mental health of those who take this job on, especially men.
Recent surveys have revealed a concerning level of depression among workers in this sector, as well as alarming trends in violence against employees. In this article, we will explore these issues and potential solutions to improve overall well-being in the security industry.
Violence in the Security Industry
A recent survey from WorkingtheDoors.co.uk found that 51% are verbally abused every time they work, with 98% of incidents occurring in nightclubs and bars.
Alongside this, 24% of workers also reported experiencing physical and verbal violence at least once a week. These statistics highlight the dangerous environment in which many people are required to work, and the toll it can take on their mental health.
A report from WorkingtheDoors.co.uk found that 57% say that an incident has affected their mental state more than 24 hours after the event, with almost half of those sympathizing that an incident has been severely traumatic. This highlights the serious mental health issues that can arise from this job, and the lack of access to resources to help with it.
Causes of Depression in the Security Industry
The causes of depression in security workers are complex, but there are a number of potential factors contributing to it.
These include long hours and low pay; lack of support from employers; poor working conditions and lack of job security; exposure to high levels of violence or trauma, and the stigma attached to talking about mental health issues.
Managing Depression in the Security Industry
Given the serious implications of depression for security workers, it’s important to look at ways to manage this issue and improve overall well-being in this sector. Employers can help by providing better working conditions, a secure job contract, and access to mental health services.
Additionally, having clear policies on anti-violence, training on how to respond when an incident occurs, and a supportive workplace culture can all help to reduce the risk of depression.
Ways to Combat Depression
Get more exercise
Exercising more can help to reduce the symptoms of depression, and it’s particularly important for security workers who may be struggling with long hours and stress. Taking regular breaks from work and getting at least 30 minutes of exercise a day can make a big difference.
Get more sleep
Lack of sleep can exacerbate depression and anxiety, so it’s important for security workers to make sure they get enough rest. This means making sure you have a relaxing bedtime routine, avoiding stimulants such as caffeine late at night and trying to stick to a consistent sleep pattern.
Seek professional help
It’s also important to seek professional help if you or someone you know is struggling with depression. Speak to your doctor or a mental health professional who can provide advice and support, as well as access to therapy and medication if necessary.
Identify your stressors
Depression can be triggered by a range of stressors, so it’s important to identify what these are in order to manage them. This could mean looking at the environment you work in and making changes to reduce your exposure to violence or trauma; challenging stigmas around mental health issues; taking steps to improve working conditions; or talking about your feelings with a friend or family member.
Conclusion
The security industry is an important but often overlooked sector and one in which workers face daily challenges to their mental health.
By acknowledging the issues of violence and depression among those in this field, employers can take steps to improve overall well-being by providing better working conditions, access to mental health services and a supportive workplace culture. With these measures in place, security workers can feel better equipped to manage their mental well-being and take steps towards a healthier future.
If you follow the blog, you’ll know I’m all about self-care. In addition to other aids, it’s what helped me recover from my breakdown. I finally started looking after myself after years of not doing so.
And sometimes we need some products to assist us with our regime. A self-care package. What better way to relax?
In this post, I wanted to draw your attention to some of the trusted products I’ve used for years. The type of gifts I open, smile, and think to myself my family knows me well.
Getting a new self-care product makes me happy. It’s also an excuse to ask my hubby to cover childcare so I can spend time trying it out
Quick note: Some of the links contained on this page are affiliate links and if you go through them to make a purchase, I will earn a commission. I only recommend products I use myself and thinkwould be useful for you.
The reason we ALL need a bit of self-care in our lives
These days, with lack of sleep and toddler madness, sometimes self-care for 15 minutes is all I have to make me feel a little bit better. And I take the opportunity. I’m currently writing this post with a face mask on, listening to yoga music. This is the first 15 minutes I grabbed to myself today and it’s 9 pm. I always need a self-care package on hand, for the moments I get to spend alone.
As a parent, making time for self-care is so important, and we should take time for ourselves. Even if it’s 5 minutes. Focusing on yourself will make you feel better. It will boost your energy and spur you on for the rest of your day.
I learned the hard way, we should never neglect ourselves. Personal care is a basic human need and one I love to indulge in now.
Want to gain access to exclusive offers, updates and a monthly newsletter? Sign up for my mailing list here
Speaking of indulgence, let’s dive into the list of must have products to add to your self-care package
Shopping online at The Body Shop brings back so many memories. I remember buying the animal-shaped soaps because they smelled and looked amazing.
I was impressed by their ethos and I love scrolling through their range of products.
They come highly recommended by family and friends and are my go-to gift when I need to purchase something for Valentine’s Day. For any special occasion, you cannot go wrong with a purchase from The Body Shop.
Some of my product highlights
My brother loves the satsuma range and you will always find this in my shopping basket.
I love the sweet-smelling body butter and scrubs. The raspberry scrub smells good enough to eat. What an amazing addition to a relaxing bath, or even a quick shower for the busy mums out there.
For a previous anniversary, I purchased from the spa range. If you feel like getting romantic, it smells divine and you won’t be disappointed.
Sign up to my freebie library. Each week there will be a new freebie added to help organise your life and take away some stress!
I’ve been checking out the self heating eye masks and they look fantastic. They also come highly recommended, by customers leaving reviews and also top beauty influencers. You can find out more on their website.
Getting a new self-care product makes me happy. It’s also an excuse to ask my hubby to cover childcare so I can spend time trying it out
The beauty of it is, through sensory retreats, you can also buy now and pay later with Klarna. (PLEASE see their website for specific T’s & C’s.)
I’ve recently been checking them out for an occasion I have coming up. My relative loves make-up and I am impressed by the huge range of cute brush collections I found on their site.
Alice In Wonderland bundle
I am loving the Alice In Wonderland bundle and would love this as a present for myself. Hehe!
Hello Kitty
For the present I need to buy, I love the look of these Hello Kitty brushes.
It’s also a huge incentive, free delivery applies to all orders over £40.00 and you can use the Klarna app for your purchases. Mine got used a lot over the Christmas period.
Final thoughts
If you like any of the products discussed in this post, or you want to browse at your leisure (I love a good internet shopping session!), click on the buttons below.
“Yes, your transformation will be hard. Yes, you will feel frightened, messed up and knocked down. Yes, you’ll want to stop. Yes, it’s the best work you’ll ever do.”
Robin Sharma
AD / PR – please note – the sessions have been gifted in exchange for my honest thoughts about the process
My recent struggles
I haven’t had a great time over the last few weeks. We’ve had yet another sickness bug in the house. On top of this, I’ve felt burnout, stress and depression. Whilst I am now starting to look back on the situation with hindsight, a few weeks back I was in the midst of serious brain fog. And I didn’t have a clue what I was doing. Negative thoughts started creeping back in and I was in self-destruct mode for a short time. I am currently in the midst of transformation and didn’t expect a setback.
Self-care requires constant maintenance
It’s a great reminder that I will never really be free of anxiety or stress. None of us will. And the vital part is self-maintenance. Like physical self-care, mental well-being is something we must stay on top of.
Transformation isn’t sweet and bright. It’s a dark and murky, painful pushing. An unravelling of the untruths you’ve carried in your body. A practice in facing your own created demons. A complete uprooting, before becoming.
Victoria Erickson
The techniques I am learning
The techniques I am learning in my solution-focused hypnotherapy course, centre around emptying your stress bucket regularly. I’ve experienced the catastrophic implications of not doing this. And I intend to never return to that place again.
Recognising the self-destruct feeling
Lately, I was feeling, reckless, and rebellious and was starting to pay attention to the negative thoughts inside my head. Now this phase has mostly passed, I am able to look back with logic and say my relationships weren’t the greatest. In our house, there was no priority on genuine communication, which eventually has consequences. This, coupled with stress, burnout and physical illness, isn’t a good combination.
I felt like you might just before something great happens. Ever felt totally anxious or flat before an exam, driving test, or a change of some kind? I feel like these growing pains are a sign, that change is happening. And I have to ride it out and continue.
How is my hypnotherapy course going?
I am now halfway through my hypnotherapy sessions. During the trance parts we are initiating change directly with my subconscious mind, therefore I don’t consciously know some of these changes are happening. As quite a controlling person, it’s an adjustment period for me.
Transformation is difficult for a reason
If the transformation was easy, we would all just say one positive sentence to ourselves and that would be the end of it. How dangerous would this be for anyone susceptible to negative thinking though? it could easily go the other way. We have to work hard to implement lasting change.
If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading.
By offering a guest post slot on my blog for other people, I felt like I was giving something back. I honestly felt emotional and proud to host some of the amazing writing I will talk about in this post.
And best of all, I got feedback like this:
Just wanted to extend my sincerest thanks to you for posting my content on your blog. I feel like it’s been very well received, and I so appreciate your help with getting the conversation and message out there. Please don’t hesitate to reach out in the future if there’s ever another project I can help with. Thanks for the great work that you do.
Guest posting is a way for us to strengthen our relationships in the blogging world. To support one another and share in our talents. For this reason, guest posts are still open on my blog and you can send your ideas using this form.
But I also wanted to dedicate a blog post to talking about the benefits of guest posting
Your writing can be seen by a wider audience, especially if you’re new to blogging
The reality is, not many people will see your writing when you start publishing. But don’t be disheartened! Google ranking takes time. Social media promotion can be tedious, but it also pays off. After three months I saw the results of my hard work.
Think of it like this. If you don’t tell anyone you’re writing is there, how will they know? Imagine the millions of Google searches each day and how hard it is to find one specific piece of writing. You have to trust the process.
You will make lasting connections with other bloggers
Some of the relationships I’ve formed by communicating with other bloggers via email are valued to this day. It’s refreshing to make contact via another communication method, other than Twitter. It’s also lovely to chat with other creative minds about your writing and get feedback.
Improving your domain authority (DA) score
For anyone who doesn’t know (I didn’t when I first started blogging) I am going to trust another source with explaining. I am not the most technical person, hehe!
Definition: Domain Authority (DA) is a metric created by the SEO consulting and research company Moz which measures a website’s likelihood to rank on search engines. “Authority” is often used outside of Moz’s metric to describe a domain’s relative “strength,” determined in large part by their backlink portfolio.
Domain Authority is used as a predictive measure for PageRank, Google’s proprietary algorithm that plays a major role in determining search engine results. Due to the shroud of secrecy around PageRank, Moz’s DA metric is widely considered to be one of the best third party tools for evaluating domain strength.
MY DA score started off low, but jumped to 15 after three months of immense hard work, day and night. And now it’s at 22. Backlinks from higher authority websites will improve your DA score. Who wouldn’t want to do that? Whilst also building lasting relationships.
A summary of the guest posts I wrote for other people
Head over and check them out. It’s great to have my writing on other people’s sites. Follow me on Twitter for updates on my guest posts.
A summary of my recent writing on other platforms
In recent months I’ve also expanded where I publish my writing. Some of what I want to say doesn’t fit with the topics on this blog and it’s refreshing to publish on another platform.
We use cookies on our website to give you the most relevant experience by remembering your preferences and repeat visits. By clicking “Accept All”, you consent to the use of ALL the cookies.
Manage consent
Privacy Overview
This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. Out of these, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. But opting out of some of these cookies may affect your browsing experience.
Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. These cookies ensure basic functionalities and security features of the website, anonymously.
Cookie
Duration
Description
cookielawinfo-checkbox-analytics
11 months
This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Analytics".
cookielawinfo-checkbox-functional
11 months
The cookie is set by GDPR cookie consent to record the user consent for the cookies in the category "Functional".
cookielawinfo-checkbox-necessary
11 months
This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookies is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Necessary".
cookielawinfo-checkbox-others
11 months
This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Other.
cookielawinfo-checkbox-performance
11 months
This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Performance".
viewed_cookie_policy
11 months
The cookie is set by the GDPR Cookie Consent plugin and is used to store whether or not user has consented to the use of cookies. It does not store any personal data.
Functional cookies help to perform certain functionalities like sharing the content of the website on social media platforms, collect feedbacks, and other third-party features.
Performance cookies are used to understand and analyze the key performance indexes of the website which helps in delivering a better user experience for the visitors.
Analytical cookies are used to understand how visitors interact with the website. These cookies help provide information on metrics the number of visitors, bounce rate, traffic source, etc.
Advertisement cookies are used to provide visitors with relevant ads and marketing campaigns. These cookies track visitors across websites and collect information to provide customized ads.
