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PR Products – these gel wax melts were kindly gifted in exchange for a review. All thoughts are my own and I would never recommend something I wouldn’t purchase myself
I was thrilled when Village Wax Melts agreed to send me their new gel wax melts to try. I hadn’t heard of this latest trend, but I am always hunting for melts packed full of fragrance.
I frequently talk on the blog about using self-care purchases to improve my mental health. Going through a mental breakdown highlighted how much I need this daily self-care. Buying a candle or wax melt and burner, is now on my weekly shopping list. Whilst I am working from home, it brightens my day. And depending on the fragrance, it can also calm stressful moments. What a revelation to try out a gel wax melt. I was also kindly gifted some other products, which I will discuss throughout this post.
I was so excited to try these and they did not disappoint. Before trying out this new product, I previously had to put my used burners in the freezer to remove the leftover wax. You don’t have to do this with the gel. It just peels out after use.
They are also more highly scented and you can smell the fragrance as soon as you open the tub. I wanted to take some great photos and videos for the blog, but I was genuinely mesmerised by how it melts. And I found myself sitting there are ages watching the process. Doing this is calming in itself. Definitely, something I would purchase in future, instead of the usual wax melts.
Wax melt selection
Village Wax Melts also kindly sent me a range of normal wax melts to try. I loved the shape and the fragrances. I will be honest and say I was previously put off buying scents which mimic perfumes and aftershave. But I have to say that the savage (wax melt and gel wax melt) was so refreshing. I am sure we all wear perfume for a night out. But having that same smell burning in your home makes you feel fresh. Like you’re on holiday, in a busy bar, living life. The scent isn’t as overpowering as someone wearing it, but it’s lovely to brush past as you walk to the kitchen. I am now sold on perfume and aftershave-related scents and love also loved the Aliens scent they included for me. Scents which transport you to another familiar situation, are excellent.
The scent I loved the most
Out of the wax melts I was sent, my favourite one has to be Aperol Nights. Because I love them so much, I have nearly used them all. I suppose we all have different tastes, but this one is my go-to and I will be ordering it again.
Due to my mental health struggles during and following the birth of my baby, we needed to form a consistent care plan for my little one. It was imperative we built a great parenting team. My hubby was fantastic throughout and we also have the support of my parents. For this, I am incredibly thankful.
Following this experience, I wanted to share my tips on looking after your mental health during and after pregnancy.And also the things to remember when creating a great parenting team.
Quick note: Mummy Conquering Anxiety is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program. Some of the links contained on this page are affiliate links and if you go through them to make a purchase, I will earn a commission. I only recommend products I use myself and thinkwould be useful for you.
I am no expert on parenting, but I hope my experiences help you with the mental health side of things. Your feelings are completely normal. If you’re struggling mentally, I want you to know I felt the same for at least a year post-pregnancy.
In this post I will discuss my top tips for ensuring you parent well as a team
1. Consciously work as a team
Since having a baby, we thrive when we parent as a team, support one another, and both muck in (reality check – it isn’t always like this. We sometimes get annoyed with each other but we try our best!). Creating a great parenting team can be difficult.
During the worst times of my birth story, my hubby was the only one who could understand me fully. Having this one person there you can rely on showed me sticking together was the best option.
My instincts have always been strong and sometimes it’s difficult to tell the people around you something must take place. I came across like an unhinged, irrational expectant mother when trying to make everyone see a c section was the only option for delivering our little one safely. And guess what, the surgeon confirmed I was correct to choose this option. I just knew. I dread to think what might have happened if my hubby wasn’t there, on my side. We use this bond in our parenting now.
These days, we openly remind each other mid-argument that we work better when we are getting along and most of the time, it diffuses the situation.
2. Take time for yourself
If you follow my blog, you will be aware this is pretty much my ethos! I now understand we must take time to look after ourselves, or it will be chosen for us. Creating a great parenting team allows me to take the time I need to recharge my batteries.
I get it, self care is way down the priority list. Before my mental breakdown, this is what I told myself. Taking time for myself was something I neglected to do, especially when I returned to work following maternity leave. This resulted in almost five months off work. Now I realise I can’t care for my child unless I look after myself.
These are some of the things we both try and do to practice self-care:
Get out of the house
Enlist the help of grandparents, a nursery, friends
If you’re looking for the ultimate self-care accessory, check out Sensory Retreats for a touch of luxury.
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3. Ask for help
For those who don’t have much support, there are some amazing support groups out there and classes you can attend. I recently wrote about an amazing support hashtag I discovered on Twitter. Social media can be a great resource for people who may be feeling lonely and want to speak to like-minded people.
It’s healthy for you and your child to spend time apart and come back to each other refreshed, or both get involved in a social setting where the pressure is taken off your shoulders for an hour. As difficult as the first drop-off at nursery is, it’s beneficial for your little one in the long run. Get over parent guilt and start carving out some child-free time.
Boots have an amazing section on self-care resources if you’re looking for some tips and tools to occupy your child-free time. In addition, it never hurts to get some professional help as well. Whether it be a lawyer for birth injury claims or a lactation consultant, help in any form is also a good idea. At the end of the day, it really does take a village to raise a child, and the more help you have, the more help your little one has as well. There’s no shame in admitting you need an extra hand, so give yourself a little credit and surround yourself with helpful and genuine people.
4. Be kind to EVERYONE
It’s a difficult job and it’s likely everyone is in the same position as you (I hid my anxiety condition for 15 years, it’s possible someone may be too embarrassed to share their reality with you). Show another parent at nursery drop-off you understand, and don’t be too harsh with family members on parenting issues, such as discipline.
Be kind to yourself, your spouse, family members, and every person you meet. You never know the internal struggle someone else may be facing.
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5. Be realistic and give yourself a break
Creating a great parenting team means you have to relax your own standards slightly and learn the art of compromise.
As a confessed perfectionist, reality was sometimes a difficult concept for me. I still have to try hard each day to avoid burning myself out in the name of getting everything done right here and now. But why did I set such an unachievable target for myself?
One of my lovely friends and I have an agreement to cancel plans if you need to. As a busy parent, I forget to text people back, attend appointments and you know what? The consequences aren’t so severe and tasks get done eventually.
Give yourself a break and stop setting silly, unrealistic expectations for yourself. It’s about lowering your standards and not trying to fight against the fact there will be a mess with a feisty toddler running around. Go and play with the toys, join in the fun, and have a laugh instead. It’s a much better way to spend your time.
Final thoughts
Have you experienced any parenting issues? What did you do to solve them? Have you managed to create a great parenting team?
I would love to hear from you in the comments below.
If you’re looking for the ultimate self-care night away or spa day, look no further than Village Hotels.
I am on a mission to find new and inventive ways I can focus my attention on a menial task and mentally unwind. I previously wrote about my love of playing phone games to help with my mental health. Well, I’m back again with more suggestions on how you can grab those moments and make use of your time, to quiet your mind.
My motivation for writing this post comes from my need to look after myself for a little while. I had a tough year in 2021 and the factor weighing me down is now over. However, I still feel flat and worn out from my negative workplace experiences. It is time to prioritise myself for a while and indulge in self-care.
I now also take on board the point, you can’t be a great writer unless you read varied materials. And I want to become a great writer! Reading and writing are methods I’ve always used to mentally unwind and I intend to do more of this.
READ ON FOR MY TIPS ON HOW TO USE SELF-CARE TO REDUCE STRESS
A quick face mask
I have several face mask products that are easy to use. They give my skin a boost, but don’t take long to wash off or leave a mess afterward. Take time to replenish yourself, even if it’s just for five minutes.
This is my favourite way to mentally unwind, and I particularly love the sheet face masks, because they are so quick and easy to use.
Some shower products that bring calm
As a Christmas present, someone bought me a Sanctuary Spa set and it includes some luxurious shower oil. If I am having a down day, I use the shower oil and it makes me feel revived again.
My family knows me well and they understand I need to mentally unwind.
A few pages of a book
If you follow the blog, you will know I struggle to fit in time to read books. For this reason, I have set up the Goodreads challenge for 2022. I now also take on board the point, you can’t be a great writer unless you read varied materials. And I want to become a great writer! Reading and writing are methods I’ve always used to mentally unwind and I intend to do more of this.
Seek out more online games
You will all be aware, sometimes you get sick of the games you play on your phone. Because playing games helped my mental health, I must find one to keep my mind stimulated. Following my recent post, all about my love of phone games, it was time to find some more.
My search landed me here. From first logging onto the plays.org website, I was instantly impressed by the ethos and the story behind the creation of the website. Both my hubby and I grew up playing games. Suffice to say, we are both huge fans of games as a way to mentally unwind and take us away from the pressure of daily life for a while.
What impresses me the most about the website is no advertising. Given my history with mental health, I can fall into addictive patterns. Games which ask me for more money as a way to unlock levels are dangerous. It would be easy for me to become obsessed and then disappointed, rather than feeling a sense of achievement.
For anyone who wishes to play the games themselves, I have included a few screenshots for you below.
The games are easy to play. Logging into the website is quick and easy and you are instantly presented with colourful and clear instructions about how to proceed, as shown in the screenshots.
I am particularly loving one of the new games, colorush. What I love about this game is you can pause it to set up the barriers. It stimulates your mind, trying to work out where the colour will go. I also got a burst of satisfaction at going it right, seeing the colour head towards the pot.
Super spice dash is the next game I found and I was honestly chuckling at the fact you’re playing with a popcorn chicken. It’s so cool. I opted to tilt my phone to steer, which meant the game was interactive.
I then decided to play neon invaders. Homage to space invaders and just as fun to play. I think this will be a favourite of mine when I have five minutes to de-stress.
Have a bubble bath
The perfect way to mentally unwind is a hot bubble bath. Radox is my best friend. After a day of running around after a toddler, a nice relaxing bath to melt away the aches and pains is the perfect solution. I regularly have a hot bath before bed, to unwind from the day and relax. I’ve just bought some Pukka nighttime herbal teas and they are amazing.
I like to have something to do whilst I am in the bath. I play games on my phone and also catch up with Twitter, especially if I haven’t got much done that day.
Buy some fresh flowers
My hubby used to buy tiger lilies for the house and they smell amazing. If I am feeling a bit down, I pick up a small bunch of flowers from the supermarket. I also love it when daffodils make an appearance. A small touch like this can help you feel a sense of calm.
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Walk aimlessley
I mean, we all walk with a purpose don’t we? For a functional reason. We are getting from A to B. But to mentally unwind, try walking aimlessly. Just set off, with no limit on time and see where the journey takes you. Following my mental breakdown, I did this daily and it improved my outlook on life. This being the case, I know for a fact sitting in nature and getting some fresh air can do wonders for you.
Sit on a bench and watch the world go by
This is another thing I did daily following my breakdown to mentally unwind. If you follow me on Instagram, you may have seen some of my reels from the local park. It’s exactly where I sat last year. The difference now is I am not the same person. Yes, I will always suffer from high levels of anxiety and bouts of depression. I don’t expect it to ever disappear and I have fully accepted it won’t. But, I know how to manage it better now and my mindset has vastly changed from the person I was a year ago.
Final thoughts
I hope you enjoyed reading my run down of activities you can do to mentally unwind.
What do you do to mentally unwind? Is there a favorite activity you have when you’re limited to time?
I would love to hear from you in the comments below.
It’s a rubbish time in the world right now. Therefore I felt compelled to write something about it and share my feelings. This is for anyone who needs it right now.
So here goes!
Before we begin, I appreciate this won’t solve all your problems or make the world a better place. But it will possibly serve to let you know you are not alone in your feelings. Hopefully, by the end of the post, you will feel a little better.
This post won’t harp on about politics. The doom and gloom in the media is something I decided to ignore when my mental health was initially in serious crisis. Paying attention to headlines designed to increase your anxiety just isn’t for me anymore. I create this feeling in my head all by myself. These days, I am actively working hard not to allow negative thoughts into my brain. It’s exhausting. And with everything currently going on at this moment in time, I am struggling.
I will be honest and admit you can’t fully ignore current events. I see people on Twitter discussing the news. I still want to interact with my fellow bloggers and followers and I use the platform as a news filter. If I see a post, which is clearly about current affairs, I choose to either pay attention and follow it up, or not. Mostly not. What good does it do me to delve into issues I cannot control?
However shocking some people may find it, the time to speak out about how we feel is now. I want other people to understand the reality you face each day when you live with a mental illness.
Why I wanted to share how I am feeling?
When I started this blog, the purpose was to share my honest thoughts and feelings about living with a mental illness. However shocking some people may find it, the time to speak out about how we feel is now. I want other people to understand the reality you face each day when you live with a mental illness.
I’ve had a bumpy year. I dragged myself out of the depths of depression and the main factor causing me to feel this way still isn’t fully over yet. Even when it comes to an end, I will be thrown into a whole new way of life. Something I was previously excited about. At this moment in time, I am not excited about much and I just can’t shift the feeling.
Even a new haircut has got me feeling indifferent. Usually, it makes me feel like a new woman.
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If you are feeling the same way right now, I wanted to let you know, you are not alone.
I thought this would be a great time to share some motivational quotes, to hopefully help us all feel better.
We will get through this. Together
For anyone who needs it right now, I am here to tell you it will be okay.
Because of my recent experiences with mental illness, I can assure you however you are feeling at this moment in time, it will change. And it can get better. There is hope, even if you feel like there is none right now.
The online blogging community supported me throughout a tough time. All I can tell you is I felt compelled to create a platform to share my experiences. What I didn’t expect or anticipate was the level of support I received. I will be eternally grateful for the kind words, motivation, and lovely comments on my blog.
Merry Christmas
Whatever you’re doing over the holiday period, I wish you the following.
Take what you need
Hope
Contentment
Happiness
Hugs
Love
Family time
Gifts
Indulgence
Friendship
Warmth
Reflection
Harmony
Time to recharge
Comfort
Kindness
Peace
Enjoyment
What you can expect from me in the New Year
I am not one for New Year’s resolutions. If you want to transform your life, I think you should do it right now! Not just in January of each calendar year. After hitting rock bottom, it prompted a change within me.
For January 2022, I have some hard-hitting, but honest mental health posts scheduled. I also have some amazing guest posts I can’t wait to share with you. And I will finally be free of the circumstances weighing me down (yes, you will get a blog post ALL about it!). I will also have time to regroup, assess my priorities and do what I love the most – BLOG.
Final thoughts
This is me signing off until after the Christmas period. I have blog posts scheduled and I will be checking in on social media.
During my anxiety years and especially during down periods, I told myself I couldn’t go out do things and it was the worse thing I did to myself. A travesty. I cut myself off from happy times, spending time with people I love, enjoying the little things in life, all because I subscribed to black & white thinking and had a script full of self-limiting beliefs constantly running over and over again in my head. And I let it happen…
It’s time to carve out a new healthy path and ditch the old way of thinking. It previously damaged my mental health and I must avoid this ever happening to me again in the future. You can read more about when my mental health struggles began here.
Want to know the secret to living a happy and fulfilled life? Read on…
It was also nice to shop without the little one running around. There is a perception parents shouldn’t leave children out and I feel guilty when I do! But it is so important, we as parents, take time for ourselves. I breathed a sigh of relief in the first charity shop because I had images running through my brain of the little one grabbing every item off the shelves and me telling her off. It was reassuring to know I didn’t have to contend with this today, she was at nursery being entertained instead.
Quick note: Mummy Conquering Anxiety is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program. Some of the links contained on this page are affiliate links and if you go through them to make a purchase, I will earn a commission. I only recommend products I use myself and thinkwould be useful for you.
Today, my mum suggested a trip to the charity shops and some breakfast. A simple activity I would usually be inclined to say no to due to lack of money. She kindly treated me to a coffee, sandwich and gave me some spending money, because she knows money is tight for us at the moment. I’ve told her I visit the supermarket and walk around adding up what I’ve spent. My parents know what this feels like to count the pennies and we are so lucky to have them helping us out. Shout out mum & dad if you ever happen to read this!
Our trip and why outings work wonders for your mental health
Because we are still on holiday as a family, I had the family car today, which made the trip easier. I usually travel around by public transport or walk, which I don’t mind. It does me good. We ditched the second car years ago because it wasn’t cost-effective. Today, having a car, was a luxury I am not used to.
Wandering around, without a care in the world, not knowing what time it is, and browsing the shelves, was therapeutic.
It was also nice to shop without the little one running around. There is a perception parents shouldn’t leave children out and I feel guilty when I do! But it is so important, we as parents, take time for ourselves. I breathed a sigh of relief in the first charity shop because I had images running through my brain of the little one grabbing every item off the shelves and me telling her off. It was reassuring to know I didn’t have to contend with this today, she was at nursery being entertained instead.
We had a chat about loads of topics I can’t even recall now, catching up about life and you know what, this time is much more valuable than worrying about money issues. Yes, we all need money to live and you can achieve wellness by managing your money correctly (I don’t want anyone to have the worries I’ve experienced over the last year due to financially overcommitting), but you also have to live life and ensure you get out of the house to do activities that fit within your budget.
There are plenty of free and cheap things you can do and I am passionate about sharing my tips with others. You can read more about how you can have fun on a budget in my blog post here.
My mental breakdown this year has shown me you have to set aside time to spend with family, spend a little money, and enjoy your life. If you take the time to do this, all the other parts will fit into place and surely you will be in a better place to tackle difficult issues you may be going through.
My charity shop haul
Living a happy and fulfilled life means doing something you love! And I love shopping.
As I am so excited and refreshed following my outing this morning, of course, I had to write a blog post about it. I’ve even become one of those bloggers taking pictures of everything (well roping the hubby in with his great phone camera, IT skills, and photoshop knowledge). I am no expert (I will leave the flatlays to a professional website, like Canva), but here is the picture of my haul:
The items I bought and why I loved them
Of course, I had to get the little one some toys and activities to entertain her. We are the stage where we need constant entertainment to reflect the experience she gets at nursery. It’s so much fun, but also hard work.
She loves Peppa Pig and now has a Peppa Pig torch which was £1.25. I know she will be overjoyed when she comes home from nursery today and sees this toy, and the look on her face is well worth £1.25.
I also got her an activity book for 50p. She isn’t yet at the stage where she can work through the activities, but she loves colouring books and drawing all over the pages. She will get endless enjoyment for 50p. Winner!
The Meccano set is parts only and I didn’t realise this in the shop, but for £1.99 I am not going to moan about it and she can do some building. It’s also an excuse for us to add other Meccano parts to her Christmas list.
I got some home decorations to spruce the place up a bit, ahead of my larger autumn purchases (a future blog post will cover the topic of what I purchased!). We needed a fresh bowl of Pot Pourri and it was just sat on the shelf as if it had been waiting for me, because I’ve been talking about it loads this week! £2.00 – bargain!
The little gold pot will be an addition to our rose gold decor (I previously bought the other items from Poundland). It was 40p.
We all need body lotion in our lives and I love seeking it out in charity shops. There are so many unwanted gift sets given away. You get a cheap item, whilst also raising money for charity. Win, win. 50p for this lotion. I can’t wait to try it.
On winter days, I love wearing these headbands. They keep the hair off your face and also cover your ears. I haven’t got a light coloured one, so had to purchase this. £1.99. Can’t go wrong with something so useful.
Books – these were 50p each and I will be adding them to the stack of books I intend to read. I might even do a before and after blog post, to encourage me to read them all. Lack of reading isn’t because I don’t love doing it, it’s getting the time with a toddler who believes every physical item in the house is hers.
Why I’m now happy and fulfilled
I’ve spent years shying away from some activities out of fear, lack of money, or lack of time.
My mental breakdown this year has shown me you have to set aside time to spend with family, spend a little money, and enjoy your life. If you take the time to do this, all the other parts will fit into place and surely you will be in a better place to tackle difficult issues you may be going through. You can read more about how I recovered from my breakdown here.
It would have been easy to say no to going out today, due to money worries, but it’s exactly because of the money worries why I needed to get out of the house, get some fresh air, spend some time not caring about a thing, and having quality mummy daughter time.
The point is, don’t live such a busy life you need to pay money to feel somewhat normal. How about living a more mediocre life and having quality time to spend with family and friends? What’s the point in earning so much money anyway, if you’re always too tired to spend it?
Simplify life
In the past, my mum & I might have visited Village Hotels for a spa day. Whilst we will return at some point, I am now looking for cheaper alternatives to get out of the house and still have fun.
Having fun and finding fulfilling activities is simple, we as human beings tend to overcomplicate it. These are some of the things I used to say to myself when working 12 hour days:
To feel better I need a spa day
I am so stressed from working 12 hour days, I need to treat myself
Work hard, play hard
I deserve it
I am too tried to spend the money I earn
I previously equated living a happy and fulfilled with spending money. This doesn’t always bring you happiness. I would much rather do something free with my loved ones, like sitting in the park.
Don’t get me wrong, if you want to do the above activities and have luxuries in your life, go for it. I will resume cheap spa days when I can afford it again!
The point is, don’t live such a busy life you need to pay money to feel somewhat normal. How about living a more mediocre life and having quality time to spend with family and friends? What’s the point in earning so much money anyway, if you’re always too tired to spend it?
To read more posts on mental health, see the other blogs I’ve written below…
What steps are you taking to live a happy and fulfilled life?
In the future, I want to create a life where quality time with family is balanced with working enough to pay bills and live comfortably. It is clear to me now, the type of job I was doing in the past and the long hours I worked, damaged my mental health. It’s time to prioritise happiness and the big secret is actually that it’s very easy to do, with a mindset change.
Here’s to a happier and more fulfilled life for us all.
What are you doing to balance family time with work-life? Do you think your views have changed since the pandemic?
I would love to hear from you in the comments below.
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