Mindset change

Mindset change

Tips On How To Live Your Best – Most Positive Life

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GUEST POST – Author Bio – Tips on living Live Your Best – Most Positive Life

Hello from me, my blog is GAWD, Generalised Anxiety and Worry Diaries.

On the surface, I’m your average forty-something mum, with two kids, a husband, and a dog. Giving off the impression that life is effortless. But scratch that surface and you’ll find that I’m harbouring a secret power, I am in fact –  Super Anxious Brummie Mummy! It’s a title I take very seriously. I can spend hours agonising over the stupidest of things. I meal-plan weeks in advance, make endless lists, set thousands of reminders, and have online shops booked in for over a month. Super anxious mum has all bases covered, she’s got fingers in every anxiety-inducing pie.

GAWD is a place where I serve you up some regular ramblings from me and my bonkers, anxious brain. Some of it is not that easy to stomach, gawd no. Some bites could give the Norovirus a run for its money. Some of you will relate, some of you will laugh out loud, and I’m guessing that some of you will run for the hills. But that’s what it’s all about. Having those difficult conversations, in the hope that those affected, will reach out. I’m a mental health mentor and young person’s mental health advocate. I’m a MSc psychology grad, so I’ll throw in a teeny bit of science into the pot, to help us make sense of things.

Tips on living Live Your Best - Most Positive Life

Quick note: Some of the links contained on this page are affiliate links and if you go through them to make a purchase, I will earn a commission. I only recommend products I use myself and think would be useful for other people.

Guest post for Mummy Conquering Anxiety © gawd.blog – Tips on living Live Your Best – Most Positive Life

Living our best positive lives?

It’s getting dark by 4.30 pm, the mornings are gothic and misty. The long, hot, sunny days are fading into a distant memory. With winter firmly on the horizon, you’d be forgiven for losing that positive outlook on life. Winter blues are a real thing.  Especially for anxious souls like me. Christmas is coming, the goose is getting fat. Please will someone put a nice big dose of positivity in my bobble hat? Isn’t that how the old rhyme goes?  Well fear not, I have devised a clever strategy to help us all, even the seasonally affected folk, to start feeling that festive cheer and pack away that negative bleurgh. 

Festive? Cheers…

At the time of writing this, I was dusting off the Halloween decorations, getting the sparklers out for bonfire night, and starting to think about the big ‘X’ (festive celebration, starts with X and ends with ‘mas). I don’t know about you, but it kind of feels like the moment that the children go back to school, after the summer holidays, life ramps up ten gears. 

If only it was a slow burn into Autumn, revving up to Christmas. But oh no, it’s stress-o’clock from the get-go.  It’s so busy, it’s like our fixed calendar celebrations and holidays are setting us up for a fail. Then January hits and it’s all quiet on the western front, with only the most depressing day of the year to look forward to. 

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-self-care tips, affirmations, positive quotes, how to thrive in life (I need to remind myself of these daily tips too)

Tips on living Live Your Best – Most Positive Life – CONTINUED

Plus there’s life’s daily demands and those curve snowballs, for instance; navigating the freezing school run, endless amounts of laundry, wardrobe changeover, what to cook for dinner, and salads are officially out. (Not that my kids thought they were in.) 

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It doesn’t help that I gave birth to my children in the Autumn months. I mean, I should have really mapped out the old gestation calendar a bit better. I always say I’m not going mad, we’ll keep the kids’ parties simple. Cut to – headless chicken-style party planning with the end result resembling a Hollywood-esque style, grand affair. Sixteen party favours per bag, bubble teas being produced at a rate of knots, icing cupcakes until two in the morning. I do jest, I love making the kids happy. But I feel like anxiety adds pressure to my plate that’s kind of unhelpful. An inner push-me-pull-me scenario. Is this good enough? Am I good enough? Push, push, push and break.

Bee positive

So short of moving Halloween to January, or home-schooling the kids, (not gonna happen). I feel the need to post some guidelines on how to not lose your mind get through the busiest of seasons and most importantly stay on a positive tip. But what do I mean? You can say “bee positive” and all of those other lovely little phrases, but it’s hard when you’re faced with life’s trials to actually grasp what it means to be and more importantly, stay positive. Sometimes it feels so much easier to focus on the bad things in our lives, you know. Especially those who suffer from anxiety,  spiralling in and out of negative thoughts. And the culprit? I present to you, cortisol. This little firecracker is a chemical in the brain which increases when we’re on a negative tip. It’s the body’s reaction to stress or a threat. 

Walking risk assessments

Negative thoughts are essentially threats to our system. Being prone to negativity is not a new thing for humans. Many moons ago, being on guard and looking out for risks, with high levels of cortisol running through our veins, was essential for survival in an unsafe world. Now we live in a safe(ish) world. Unfortunately, it just so happens that anxiety disorders can make us feel like those poor old cavemen and women. Like we are in imminent danger, every second of every day. 

Anxiety and negativity do have their positives, even in these modern times. Anxious, negative thinkers often catastrophize thoughts and think of the worst-case scenarios, thus avoiding potential drama. We’re able to spot where helpful changes could be made in our lives, so we make great leaders. Negativity could save a life, anxious people make great risk assessors. We’re also fab realists to have around. So make sure you keep us on your Christmas card list.

Life changer

There are times though, that negativity needs to take a back seat. To make way for positivity and raise those levels of dopamine and serotonin – the happy chemicals. It’s not just about being happy-go-lucky little cheeky chappies, it’s so much more than that. Those with optimistic outlooks are said to live healthier, more fruitful, and enjoyable lives. I think one study said that optimistic women live on average 4.4 years longer! 4.4 years folks! There is an indirect relationship between optimism and adopting a healthier lifestyle, thus extending time on this sweet planet. I’ve said it once, I’ll say it again. “Time is our most precious commodity.”

Happy little pictures 

So how do we go about living our best positive lives? I decided that rather than grand red letter day-type positivity excursions. (They were all out of hot air balloon rides in Surrey.) I’d go about identifying the small everyday wins.  I set about conducting a small-scale experiment. To post daily pics on my Instagram. account – Super Anxious Brummie Mummy! What better way to document the small wins than by the power of photography? There’s nothing like an uplifting or funny picture to lift the spirits. Plus those little hits of joy were exactly the bursts of dopamine and serotonin my body needed to counter the negativity.

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Now I’m going to lie, it wasn’t easy. Some days I was racking my brain thinking, “What on Earth is a winner from today’s s**t show?” And worse than that, anxiety and cortisol were fighting against my small wins and trying to cloud them with negativity. Brain, why do you test me so?!? On other days, small wins smacked me right in the kisser. They took on exciting new forms, like, finding joy at the loo seat being clean and put down, or watching my dog, a most excellent, furry bullet squirrel chaser. I did some real soul-searching. This process, for me, has really proved that, where there is darkness, there’s also light. Yep, it was also National Poetry Week, I had a go at poetry. I liked it = small win. 

FROM THE MCA BLOG – Books to help you on your positivity journey:

By confronting negativity head-on and finding the positive within a negative, I was adopting the ‘negative bounce’ method. Real bonafide psychologists have coined this fun term, (Tugade, 2004). Also, it turns out that I am not only countering negativity and becoming more positive. I’m building resilience to future negative events. Because guys, headliners –  ‘life is full of these ups and downs.’ 

Tips on Living Live Your Best – Most Positive Life. Other top small wins and negative bounces: 

Bee rescue, I saved a bee from a spiderweb. This is even after my unfortunate encounter in the summer, where one travelled up my trouser leg and stung me twice! Overcoming fears and wildlife rescue. I mean, it’s all there, right?

In future, when someone is asking me to “Bee positive ” I’ve a good mind to tell them to “buzz off!” I’m doing just fine without a winged stinger of a phrase to keep my chin up. I am, of course, joking, who doesn’t love a little positivity meme? I’m just trying to drum home that positivity is in the eye of the beholder. But do remember negativity has its place, it’s how we manage stressful situations and protect ourselves. It’s learning how best to bat those thoughts away when they become unhelpful, that’s the key

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Not lost my stuff because a coffee pot lid had been left off, so when I went to use it it fell open and sprayed coffee everywhere. I laughed. That is a small win right there. (Big win for others in my house you might argue.)

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Celebration that I can keep a plant alive, not just any old plant. My child’s bonsai tree is notoriously difficult to care for. Small win. I would move that to big wins, but let’s see if it’s still alive in a few months.

Capturing a very large spider in a glass and setting it free. I’m petrified of the hairy beasts. But the kids were fascinated and we had fun looking at its gorgeous fangs… We named him Derek Gordon. (8-year-old son’s choice.)

And do you know looking back and seeing all of those small wins documented, is an affirmation that I am ok. I’m happy with my lot. In future, when someone is asking me to “Bee positive ” I’ve a good mind to tell them to “buzz off!” I’m doing just fine without a winged stinger of a phrase to keep my chin up. I am, of course, joking, who doesn’t love a little positivity meme? I’m just trying to drum home that positivity is in the eye of the beholder. But do remember negativity has its place, it’s how we manage stressful situations and protect ourselves. It’s learning how best to bat those thoughts away when they become unhelpful, that’s the key. Right, back to Instagram. 

TTFN.

A final word from MCA founder, Sam:

I hope you enjoyed reading this fab guest post – Tips on living Live Your Best – Most Positive Life

Let me know your thoughts in the comments below…

Tips on living Live Your Best - Most Positive Life
Mindset change

Affirmations – What Comes to Mind?

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GUEST POST – a note from the writer…

Hello, My name is Princess Joe-Igbuzor. I’m a Nigerian Law student who is passionate about mental health and women’s rights. 

I am indeed thrilled to be writing this guest post for your blog, I hope you enjoy the read and have a great day. 

About My Blog 

Write_rspace is a mental health blog which focuses on saying big things in small ways. Predominantly writing about mental health, my focus is to de-stigmatize the mystic aura behind mental health and reduce it into concepts that people can understand in everyday life. 

Different things spring to mind depending on how deep you are in your personal development journey. For some, Affirmations are like a list of mantras that you recite to yourself every morning. Others see it as some form of ritual in which you chant a string of words. 

Putting it plain and simple, Affirmations in this context are sentences you say to yourself to profess the opposite of your surrounding situation.

It’s speaking positively even in the negative. 

No one who is truly happy stands in front of a mirror and tells themselves they’re happy.

Mark Manson in his book, The Subtle Art of Not Giving A F**k
Affirmations

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Lets dive in

Over time, a lot of individuals including myself have begun to see Affirmations as a form of ritualistic activity. It almost seems like affirmations are delusions we tell ourselves because as said by Mark Manson in his book, The Subtle Art of Not Giving A F**k, ‘No one who is truly happy stands in front of a mirror and tells themselves they’re happy.’ 

Ever since I had jumped off the bandwagon and stopped using affirmations in total or so I thought. I, like most people, thought affirmations were sentences you told yourself in front of a mirror every morning and that was all there was to it. 

So then I would ask myself and I’m sure you’ve asked yourself this too, 

‘Why should I say I’m happy every morning even when I don’t feel happy?’ 

Like I said earlier, it makes one feel delusional especially when those words don’t instantly make things perfect and we still go about our day feeling down. 

But what we have failed to realize is that Affirmations are never one size fits all. It’s not some ritual or only an activity that some people partake in. We all use affirmations day in and day out.

Let me show you 7 ways you unconsciously use affirmations

7 ways you unconsciously use affirmations

An ‘I’ll be fine’ on a bad/rough day.

Remember the last time you were having a really bad day, your self-esteem felt like it was non-existence and you just wanted to disappear literally. 

When you find yourself in this situation and after having a meltdown session, you clean your tears and you say, ‘I’ll be fine.’ or ‘I will get through this’.

Do you want to know a secret? That ‘I’ll be fine’ or ‘I will get through this’ or their variations are affirmations. 

But we say it so often that we don’t realize they are affirmations. 

How? 

Because everything in that moment is telling you that things won’t be fine and yet you profess the positive even in that state. 

I recall, last month I was going through a really bad few weeks and I had been trying to keep it all inside but this particular day every emotion I was feeling felt heightened and I wanted to drop everything and just go home but I couldn’t. In the midst of all that, I remember saying, ‘I will be fine, I have gone through so much and this will not overcome me.’ 

I didn’t instantly feel better but I was calmer in that moment so it was easier to face the task at hand. I know I was aware at that moment that I had used an affirmation. 

The ‘I look good’ on a bad hair/outfit day. 

We have all had our fair share of bad hair/outfit days, it’s a common occurrence in life. 

But telling yourself you look good in an outfit that you know you don’t or you could better is a form of affirmation. You just don’t pay close attention to it. The outfit doesn’t make the person, The person makes the outfit. 

So even when you are putting on an outfit that you know you look mid in, you square your shoulders and readjust your posture and tell yourself, ‘I look good.’ 

On days when you have a sudden wardrobe malfunction and there is no alternative so you make a spare outfit, you still tell yourself you look great despite knowing you could look better. 

Some books to help you on your affirmation journey

The ‘I can do anything I set my mind to’ when goal setting. 

Whether you write it down or have a vision in your head, we all have goals. 

Some parameters of what we hope to achieve. However, some days come and we are down in the dumps wondering if we will ever achieve the goals we had in mind. An experience I’m sure we all relate to is that of setting resolutions. 

At the beginning of the month or year, we set resolutions of the things we hope to achieve before the specific timeline runs out. But almost always by the middle of the month or a few months into the year, we lose our momentum, that drive that we had the day we were setting the goal is almost non-existence. 

Setbacks with goal-setting

Or perhaps we have been trying to achieve the goals but we have encountered some setbacks. 

Naturally, we begin to reevaluate our goals and attempt to make some changes but then suddenly we get this deep resilience that we can do anything we set our minds to. 

Sometimes we say this out loud. Oftentimes we just feel it and rather than change course, we tread down the same path with renewed energy and motivation. 

The ‘I’m great’ when doubt sets in. 

For every athlete and artist out there, you can resonate with a moment in your career when you were doubtful of your capabilities even when you have proved yourself before. 

The mind is a tricky place and although you know you can achieve this feat, doubt and fear have come to nestle you just right before the race, game or performance. 

You tell yourself to just breathe and calm down but your palms become shaky and sweaty. You certainly can’t perform at your best like this so you try to give yourself a confidence boost but that doesn’t seem to help. 

And then you start to take deep breaths and tell yourself ‘I’ll do great.’, ‘I’m great, I have done this before, I can do it again.’ 

I’m a university student and last semester was tough. I had done well in previous semesters but this last semester, doubt started to sink in. I would read for hours and not remember a single thing, I knew I was in over my head and I needed to get out of there fast or my grades would fall. 

So every time, right before I started reading or writing any form of test or exam, I would tell myself that ‘I’m great and I can do this. I have done it before and this time will be no different.’ I didn’t know it but It was affirmations that helped me get through that doubt. 

Tools to help you on your self-development journey

The ‘It’s not that bad’ when things are really bad. 

Affirmations don’t always have to be in the form of all positive and go skippy, they can sometimes hide in semi-positive statements especially when we subconsciously don’t want to admit that we use affirmations. 

You have been in a situation that was very bad like stage 10 bad and yet you told yourself that, ‘it’s not that bad.’ 

Like a hall, you rented for an event getting flooded before the event or you got a bad score on a test you worked hard for. 

In the midst of all this, you tell yourself, ‘It’s not that bad.’ and you move on. It doesn’t make things better but it begins to hurt less. 

The ‘Tomorrow will be better’ after a long day. 

Some days are never-ending, they seem to have 36 hours instead of the usual 24 hours. The night can’t come any faster so when you do eventually get to crawl into bed. You are already exhausted and just want to be over with the day so you tell yourself, Tomorrow will be better. Because it has to be. 

That’s affirmation at its best. You are speaking into a new day and declaring what you want from it even before the day is here. 

Some days you don’t even realize that you are saying this or speaking it into existence. It just seems natural and far from mystical. 

Lastly, we have the ‘It’s a phase, It will pass’ after a series of bad weeks/months.

This we use when we have yet another bad week after a string of bad weeks or another bad month after a few bad months. 

We tell ourselves that we know things may be not great now but no situation is permanent and it will all pass soon despite no inclination that things are getting better. 

We tell ourselves it’s a phase and we believe so. That’s the power of affirmations. 

One of the instant benefits of these unconscious affirmations is the sense of calmness and assurance that you feel after speaking these positive words into existence. 

Closing Remarks 

Affirmations don’t have to be in front of a mirror or said at a particular time of the day. That’s the hidden magic to it.

You can make use of affirmations daily without even realizing that you are. In the same way, we have positive affirmations, there exist negative affirmations. 

But now that you know the benefits of positive affirmations, you can imagine what effects negative affirmations will have. 

In what ways have you used affirmations unconsciously in your daily life?

Writer’s Information

 Instagram link: Write_rspace

Twitter link: Write_rspace

Blog link: Write_rspace

LinkedIn Profile: @Princess Joe-Igbuzor

Achieving personal development, Mindset change

Navigating The Busy Season: A Guide To Practicing Mindfulness

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Life’s a wild ride, isn’t it? Some days, it’s like walking on a rainbow, while others feel more like a whirlwind of endless tasks that make you feel like you’re running a never-ending marathon. During those turbo-charged times, finding a smidge of calm can seem as difficult as finding a needle in a haystack. But let me let you in on a little secret: it’s exactly during these fast-paced times that mindfulness plays its trump card.

Practicing Mindfulness
Via Pexels

Plan And Prioritize

Each morning, before you leap into the day, spend a quiet moment setting an intention. It could be as straightforward as saying, “Today, I will keep my cool, no matter what.” Next up, it’s time to tackle your to-do list – but smartly. Highlight what needs your attention the most. You’ll be acting instead of reacting, and trust me, that feels so much better.

Breathe And Pause

Ever noticed how your breath is like your trusty sidekick? Always there, right when you need it. So in those intense, I-can’t-catch-a-breath moments, it’s time to get back to basics. Take a break, breathe in deeply, hold for a sec, and then breathe out. This nifty trick, also known as diaphragmatic breathing, is like your personal stress-busting superhero that you can call upon anytime you need.

Mindful Eating

Here’s a thought: when life turns into a whirlwind, meal times often feel like just another task. But what if we turned them into an opportunity to practice mindfulness? Next time you’re eating, really savour your food. Enjoy its colour, texture, and aroma. Take in all the flavours as you chew. Not only will you be more present, but your tummy and overall health will thank you too!

Practicing Mindfulness

Mindful Chores

What if we could turn everyday tasks into mini-moments of mindfulness? Sounds intriguing, right? Be it folding laundry, washing dishes, or sweeping the floor, start focusing on what you’re doing and how it feels. Watch how these routine chores turn into peaceful pockets of mindfulness.

Harness The Power Of Music

Who doesn’t love a bit of background music, right? It can be a great buddy when practising mindfulness. Can’t find the right tracks? Why not explore torrent sites for music or check out mindfulness apps that offer chill playlists? You’ll be surprised how the right music can set the tone for your day.

Seek Solitude

Carving out a bit of ‘me-time’ can be a total game-changer in a busy day. Find a quiet spot at home or a peaceful corner in a park, or even just a cosy nook in your office. Spend 10-15 minutes there, soaking in your thoughts or maybe doing some journaling. It’s like finding an oasis of calm in a desert of busyness.

Guided Meditation

New to mindfulness? Guided meditations are like a helping hand, guiding you through the practice. There are tons of apps and online platforms that offer step-by-step sessions. Even just 5 minutes can help you relax and clear your mind. Give it a go, and you’ll see what I mean.

Connect With Nature

Ever spent a moment just soaking in the great outdoors? The sun on your face, the wind in your hair – it’s like nature’s own brand of mindfulness. Next time you’re feeling stressed, try spending a few minutes outside. Feel the breeze, listen to the birds, watch the clouds. You’ll be surprised at how grounded and peaceful you’ll feel.

Laugh It Off

We’ve all heard the saying, “Laughter is the best medicine,” and boy, is it true! A good chuckle can cut stress, boost your mood, and even improve your health. So when things get tough, find a reason to giggle. Share a joke, watch a funny clip, or play with your pet – because nothing brings you into the present moment quite like a good belly laugh.

Digital Detox

Let’s face it, we’re pretty much attached to our devices these days. But taking a digital detox – even if it’s just for an hour – can do wonders for your mindfulness practice. Switch off your devices and do something offline. Read a book, cook a meal, or just enjoy a hot drink. Your mind will thank you.

Progress, Not Perfection

Last but definitely not least, remember this: mindfulness isn’t about becoming a Zen master or having an empty mind. It’s about being aware of your thoughts and emotions, and gently bringing them back to the now. And sure, your mind will wander – that’s just part of the deal! But the key isn’t perfection; it’s progress.

So, even when the pace of life tries to sweep you off your feet, remember you’ve got the tools to stay grounded. Mindfulness isn’t a quick escape from life’s busyness, but a secret weapon to navigate it more effectively. So take a moment, breathe, and just be. It’s like discovering your own personal island of calm amidst the hustle and bustle of life.

Mental Health, Mindset change

My New Beginning Following A Mental Breakdown

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**Post updated – 14 July 2022**

#MentalHealthAwarenessWeek

#StressAwarenessMonth

#MentalHealthAwarenessMonth

In true Mummy Conquering Anxiety fashion, I wanted to post something real and honest for Mental Health Awareness Week this year! I want to remind you all, these posts are hard for me to write and probably, for you to hear. However, the topic is relevant and important. Creating my new beginning, in respect of my career, was the best thing I ever did. And I know other people are experiencing the same treatment at work.

I second guess myself about whether I should publish these posts and therefore, this one has been in the pipeline for a while. However, now is the right time to release this post. Because my work situation is now vastly different. I am a different person, with a different outlook. BUT I will always be a mental health advocate.

my new beginning

The back story 

Here goes. I wrote this post a while ago, as a means of getting through one of the most stressful times in my life. As it happens, changing my situation was also the most life-changing. 

Following total burnout in my job, I suffered a complete mental breakdown. Cue falling to the floor, tears, not making any sense. Like someone switched off my brain. And it wouldn’t restart. At the time, I didn’t want it to. It was the lowest point of my life. I’d suffered from low points with my mental health in the past. High anxiety levels and depression were common in times of stress, but it was never this bad. 

The culture must change. We can no longer pile an unreasonable amount of pressure on employees and expect them not to eventually burn out. 

My personal experience

The return to work – almost at my new beginning

Following months’ off work and pressure to return, I went back into the workplace. And eagerly awaited a redundancy date. Having an end date in sight, kept me going.

Ultimately, I was temporarily throwing myself back into a situation where miscommunication and downright rudeness in the workplace, had led me to a mental breakdown. Going back into that situation, for even a day, was going to be a mammoth task. Remember when I returned, I didn’t know how long I would stay in the role. And I don’t do very well with the unknown. It’s one of the biggest drivers of my anxiety. Knowing where I stand and having a routine helps keep it under control.

My life is different and much happier, and I now have support in my new workplace. And I am thankful for the journey because it taught me so much about my mental strength in challenging times.

Getting back into it

Upon my return, I was left alone for the first month, with everyone telling me “we want to make sure you’re okay“, “bear in mind your mental health” and I knew it was bullshit. It was a line they had to say to appear supportive. That’s what some workplaces do. In this day and age, for some businesses, it’s all talk, no action. And I think it’s despicable. I would rather the business be honest and not have a mental health policy at all, rather than provide empty words on such an important topic.

Jobless, ‘unemployed’ was soon going to be my label. All of a sudden I felt a lack of self-confidence. A lack of security. An urge to review my money situation and sort out bills that still needed paying, with one less income. But I still had not recovered fully and didn’t have the energy. A battle between wanting to prioritise myself for once, but lacking the motivation to do so. 

I hope EVERYONE starts to place the same physical illness value on mental illness. Especially after we’ve all endured so much trauma lately. 

Poor management

Another factor in all my previous job roles, was a lack of knowledge at the top. Yes, managers are there to manage, not necessarily understand how to do your job. But if they don’t have a clue about the work the people they are supposed to be supporting do daily, what’s the point? How will they ever recognise the stress triggers of overworked staff? How do they even know what too much work is?

From a human perspective, we should all be able to communicate appropriately with someone whos suffered a mental breakdown. But this takes training and awareness!

I’ve written previously about how I witnessed rude, biased, and bullying behaviour in workplaces I was part of, and this spans my whole working life. Although I wouldn’t relive the pandemic if I had a choice, I do hope it’s brought significant changes to the office environment in the UK. The culture must change. We can no longer pile an unreasonable amount of pressure on employees and expect them not to eventually burn out. 

Where it all went wrong

My first anxiety-filled morning began a while after I returned to work. When you’re constantly having to justify yourself and the work you are completing, it is exhausting. This is what I was being asked to do on this occasion and given my mental health history, I think there was a better way of doing things.

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My thoughts in hindsight

Throughout all of this, I do have some grasp of the fact that employees in the department were under daily stress because of an impending redundancy and I take on board the fact this can impact a person’s behaviour. But it still doesn’t make poor behaviour towards staff correct. And it certainly doesn’t help my already fragile anxiety levels. From a human perspective, we should all be able to communicate appropriately with someone whos suffered a mental breakdown. But this takes training and awareness!

The redundancy announcement 

It is hurtful when you’ve invested so much time and energy into your career and it comes to an end in this way. My heart goes out to anyone whos been through or is currently going through a redundancy process.

On the day I found out our redundancy date, I felt numb. I thought I would feel differently. It felt just like any other announcement. Following my mental health struggles, I couldn’t be bothered sorting out the admin and conversations involved in leaving. I wouldn’t feel satisfied until I had left the company and the redundancy money was in my bank.

Jobless, ‘unemployed’ was soon going to be my label. All of a sudden I felt a lack of self-confidence. A lack of security. An urge to review my money situation and sort out bills that still needed paying, with one less income. But I still had not recovered fully and didn’t have the energy. A battle between wanting to prioritise myself for once, but lacking the motivation to do so. 

10 days to go – the worst 10 days of my life

10 days to go. Then I would be unemployed. Something I never anticipated I would be happy about. Finally, done and dusted with the workplace that I once loved, but then also caused me unreasonable amounts of stress.

To deal with the anger, I started journaling my feelings. I thought, what’s the point in stressing about this when I had 10 days to go. But bear in mind, that I was now a different person. More protective of my mental health. I viewed life differently. It was great I had grown in confidence to change the situation that broke me. But I was still in the situation that broke me. And I was still facing the same daily battles that sent me to hell and back.

Other posts you may like in the mental health category

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The stark truth about my last anxiety-filled day and exactly what it felt like

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Why it’s vital to understand the workplace conditions which led to my breakdown

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Why I’m glad the negative aspects of office culture will be left behind

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Looking back 

Maybe these heightened feelings are normal for anyone going through a redundancy process. It’s probably just part of the process and how your mind accepts the huge change which will be happening to you at any moment. A moment someone else chooses, usually based on money-making and not paying any attention to your life.

The current employment situation in the UK

I can tell you, from my recent experience of visiting the job centre, unstable job conditions have impacted a lot of people and the department is inundated. The knock-on effect of COVID, and greedy CEOs making reckless decisions, together with a failing economy, have created a recipe for disaster. And it’s set to get even worse!

Yes, there are jobs out there, but the game has changed. I’m hoping the shift will eventually benefit office workers and companies to start to value mental health. I hope EVERYONE starts to place the same physical illness value on mental illness. Especially after we’ve all endured so much trauma lately. 

my new beginning

Download the mental health check-in sheet

Mental health check-in Download

You may have questions

Some of you might be asking why I went back to the workplace at all. Well, I wanted and deserved the redundancy payment. I also deserved to be treated like a human being. Bear in mind, that I am an advocate for mental well-being and society ditching the stigma those with mental illnesses suffer. I couldn’t just let this situation slide, without showing up and standing up for myself. In turn, I felt like I was also standing up for other people.

I considered raising concerns, then I weighed this up against the mental exhaustion this would exert and the potential of really gaining anything. In the end, I cut my losses and decided to start putting my energy into my new life. 

Work should be a complementary part of our lives, not the thing that makes it unliveable

Huffington Post
my new beginning

How my experience applies to all workplaces

Mental health training in the workplace

TO clarify, I’m all for mental health training in the workplace. But it has to be great training, run by people who’ve experienced dealing with a mental health crisis first hand. It can’t just be another set of standard lines companies use to protect themselves.

Trusted training resources

Mind conducts workplace training and I would trust them as a great resource. It’s also great to see the training by Rethink Mental Illness had input from people with lived experience. There are also other smaller companies running mental health training and there is value out there.

Workplaces – please create a different process for mental health absences

Another significant issue that made me feel like my mental illness wasn’t valid, was the return to work process. Workplaces need to create different policies for mental health circumstances. As they would do a terminal illness or a bereavement. Any other unusual situation, which doesn’t fit into the category of physical health.

My hope for HR departments in the future

Whilst I don’t have personal experience of it, I hope other employers are already doing the great things I’ve suggested. I hope this blog post doesn’t need to be read by most companies, but my own experience was just a stand-alone negative one. In conducting some research for this post I found this promising article about HR awards won by a building society. I wish all businesses would adopt this approach.

It’s also important for HR to check the company ethos is being implemented in all departments. And ensure there isn’t a disconnect between individual departments.

The main point

My life is different and much happier, and I now have support in my new workplace. And I am thankful for the journey because it taught me so much about my mental strength in challenging times.

Worrying statistics

The statistics for mental health-related absences in the UK look grim. And some of the research was conducted pre-pandemic. Arguably, we are in a worse position currently. Worst still, people are sometimes dismissed as a result of their mental health struggles.

How can we continue to accept this treatment?

my new beginning

One final note about burnout

Whilst I am still trying to make sense of what happened to me, I faced complete burnout as a result of overdoing it. I want to take this opportunity to tell all my readers this is not the way you have to live. Yes, we all need money. Both I and my hubby have to work to pay bills and live, but it is possible to balance this with looking after your mental health.

My wish for the future is that employers become the ones who prioritise this on behalf of their employees. And they avoid creating a culture where people feel they need to do more for the same money. Employ more staff, reduce the workload, and spend money to ease pressure on your staff!

Will you ever recover from burnout? I have. Granted, I am not the same person I was before. I now take less rubbish and I know, my boundaries. I won’t ever allow a repeat of this situation.

Final thoughts

This is my journal of a tough time in my life. In keeping with the theme of this blog, I wanted to share this with you because I want to help other people in the same situation. I want other people to realise they are not alone. Thankfully, I have recently started a new chapter in my career and I am in a better place.

Let time know what you think of the post in the comments below. I would love to hear from you.

Because this is such an emotive issue for me, it would be great to hear from anyone who can relate. Your comments are much appreciated and it helps me and other people know we are not alone in our struggles.

signature my new beginning
Blog tag posts, Mindset change

Mummy & mental health blogger with an overhauled perspective on life

, 14 Comments

An overhauled perspective on all things in life. What better way to celebrate this, than writing this tag post!

Being unapologetically you is all about sharing the things that make you happy and help you become a better person. Never be afraid to be you. 

Izzy Matias started the Be Unapologetically You blogging tag. It’s a celebration of what you love without being shy or ashamed about it! 

Almost six months since starting the blog, I am a bit more comfortable with revealing other details about my life and it feels great to open up about the aspects of life I love.

Quick note: Some of the links contained on this page are affiliate links and if you go through them to make a purchase, I will earn a commission. I only recommend products I use myself and think would be useful for you.

How does the tag work?

Be Unapologetically You Tag Rules: 

1. Use the Be Unapologetically You banner in your post. It can be your featured image or not. It’s totally up to you. 

2. Include the link to this blogging tag (https://www.izzymatias.com/be-unapologetically-you) in your post. 

3. Answer the 7 questions in this tag. 

4. Nominate between 5-10 bloggers, link to their blogs, and tag them on social media to notify them. 

5. Most of all, have fun!

Reminder: you don’t need to include the “Be Unapologetically You Tag” in your blog post title if you don’t want to. 

overhauled perspective

Be Unapologetically You Questions: 

  1. Introduce yourself and your blog while sharing one trivia about you that not that many people know. 
  2. What topics do you love geeking out about that you would say are topics that give you bliss? 
  3. Do you blog about them? Why or why not? If not, would you like to blog about them one time? 
  4. Would you say that you are living life by being unapologetically you? Why or why not? If not, what would your life look like if you were unafraid to share more about the things that make you happy? 
  5. Permission to geek out & be unapologetically you: share with us one thing you fangirl or fanboy over and how you became a fan of it. It can be anything. Your love for soy candles, your favorite food, a boy band or an underrated film.
  6. What do you love the most about being a fan? 
  7. Share a fun or unforgettable fan experience. 

Before we get into the questions, I wanted to say this tag is perfect for me at this moment in time. Following a mental breakdown and redundancy from my job of almost 10 years, I have an overhauled perspective on life. I feel like a new person, with a fresh outlook. And I intend to make the most of this transformation and finally create the life I want to live.

Let’s dive into the questions

Introduce yourself and your blog while sharing one trivia about you that not that many people know. 

I’m a mummy to a feisty toddler and a wife, living in the North of England, UK, and making it a priority to enjoy life.

Following my recent breakdown, I believe talking about our mental health struggles is key to recovery. My blog focuses on parenting and mental health, but I also explore other lifestyle topics.

Something people may not know about me, is I eat raw potatoes and I mentioned it in one of my other tag posts. I don’t know where it came from, but I still love them to this day. Although I can’t eat too many, because I don’t think the starch is very good for you.

What topics do you love geeking out about that you would say are topics that give you bliss? 

In keeping with the trend of being unapologetically you, I have to talk about my love of gaming. I always thought it was just my hubby who was the geek. However, I am starting to realise it’s also me who loves geeky games. I think it comes from playing these with my dad and brother when we were younger. We have a Sega console and I love playing the old games and feeling a sense of nostalgia.

These days, I also love playing games on my phone as a way to destress. With a job search underway, a tempremental toddler and generally busy life, I need moments to decompress and a task I can easily dip in and out of.

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    Do you blog about them? Why or why not? If not, would you like to blog about them one time? 

    When I first started the blog, I didn’t initially talk about these subjects. Almost six months since starting the blog, I am a bit more comfortable with revealing other details about my life and it feels great to open up about the aspects of life I love.

    As the title of this post suggests, I have an overhauled perspective on life. It is inevitable when you go through life changing events.

    Stay tuned to the blog for more on my mental health journey and my life adventures, whilst I go through this transition period. My second blog will be launching in the next few weeks and a third one in the next few months. I also plan on doing some freelance writing. The hope is I will gradually feel comfortable sharing more about my life.

    Would you say that you are living life by being unapologetically you? Why or why not? If not, what would your life look like if you were unafraid to share more about the things that make you happy? 

    I am getting better at being more open. Simply because I realise this makes you more authentic and in turn, happier. Discussing my honest thoughts on the blog was the pivotal factor that aided my recovery from a mental health breakdown. I am so over hiding my true self. Whilst I will probably always keep some things private, there is a lot to be said about opening up.

    I do have more work to do in this area though. I hid my anxiety from everyone for 15 years. Therefore I am at the beginning of my opening up journey and it is all new to me.

    overhauled perspective

    Permission to geek out & be unapologetically you: share with us one thing you fangirl or fanboy over and how you became a fan of it. It can be anything. Your love for soy candles, your favorite food, a boy band or an underrated film

    I am a sucker for a candle or wax melt. Gone are the days I used to spend £50.00 in the Yankee candle shop on my lunchtime at work. These days I am all about deals, supermarket candles, and melts seem to be cheaper.

    But yes, I have a great love of candles. If you’re looking for some cheap, but lovely smelling candles, I suggest checking out the range at Wilko. I use their tea lights and jar candles, because they smell amazing, but they are also affordable.

    What do you love the most about being a fan? 

    The candle business is huge in the UK, but having them dotted around the house brings a sense of calm. It wasn’t until my breakdown I relaised how important these touches are. A relaxing bath and a candle literally helped to get me out of bed and start the day. Granted, it didn’t solve all my problems. A combination of factors did and this includes medication. However, self-care is a vital part of recovery.

    I just love my passion for them because I know it aids my need to keep up self-care. And I always welcome a sense of calm in the house.

    Sign up for my freebie library. Each week there will be a new freebie added to help organise your life and take away some stress!

    I want the freebies
    overhauled perspective

    Share a fun or unforgettable fan experience

    When I previously had my lunchtime candle spending sprees. And spent all the extra money I was earning in the name of stress, I regularly purchased some cute Yankee candle Votive holders (these were also cheap to buy compared with the jar candles). One night, me and my now hubby were chilling and it broke due to increased heat. A bit of the jar cracked and popped across the room and we are lucky it didn’t hit anyone. I am always careful to this day, ensuring the wick isn’t resting on one side of the jar.

    It was my favorites candle holder as well, hehe!!

    I nominate…

    Real Life of LuLu

    Lisa Marie

    Ladybossnomad

    Pinecanvasblog

    DatingBitch

    Final thoughts

    I hope you enjoyed reading this post.

    Let me know your thoughts in the comments below. I would love to hear from you.

    signature overhauled perspective
    Mental Health, Mindset change, wellness

    Joining TikTok & How It Helped Me Grow in Confidence

    , 10 Comments

    From where I was mentally and emotionally back in 2021. Had you told me I would be dancing in my living room to TikTok videos, I genuinely would never have believed it. It would be a long time before I would Grow in Confidence!

    Pretty much all of my adult life, I’ve dealt with intrusive thoughts and high levels of anxiety. I don’t know exactly where it came from, but being hard on myself, a perfectionist and slightly controlling didn’t help matters. Coupled with the fact I was in a soul-destroying job. And I’m an empath who cannot help but soak up everybody’s energy. It’s taken me years to finally feel confident in myself and embrace who I am.

    Let’s dive into how TikTok helped me Grow in Confidence, embrace the challenges life throws at us, and find a community of liked minded people

    Grow in Confidence

    Confidence

    I used to think confidence was a mask, an act that people put on. Now I realise it’s being your true self. Authentically and without apology. Nobody walking this earth is perfect and we never will be. There is no point in striving for perfection. We will always be disappointed with the results if we aim for perfection. So why set ourselves up for failure? Especially when we have the ability to thrive in life. If you follow my blog, you will know it took me years to answer these questions.  

    We are all just muddling through

    Following my mental health struggles, I now see people as people. We are all facing some sort of struggle. And trying our best to get through the day and have happy moments. This is why I can write honestly and authentically for my blog. My main blog has been live on the internet for almost two years. And I know my writing helps people because the comments on my blog and social media accounts prove this. 

    When we struggle mentally, we often just need to know we are not alone. It can help to see an uplifting social media post or knowledge that someone is going through a similar situation. To give you some context, when I first started the blog it was totally anonymous for the first year. Mainly because I was still living in fear. And this was due to workplace trauma and the anxiety of working in such a hostile environment, for so many years. I also didn’t have the confidence to show my face. 

    Enjoying TikTok

    I have slowly shared more of myself and my life. And graduated to video content on TikTok. 

    I must say, I am really enjoying making these videos. It fills me with confidence and allows me to embrace the don’t care attitude. Don’t get me wrong, I care about the important things in life. But I no longer reserve a space in my head for drama, caring what others think of me, or pointless emotions, like jealousy and anger. 

    Helping those people who also struggle mentally

    I want my TikTok account to be a place where people feel safe to share. Where another mum can feel less alone, after seeing a vulnerable post about my struggles. I want other mums to know it’s totally okay to want a break from your kids. And actually put plans in place to take one. Regularly.

    For anyone struggling mentally, I want those people to know this is a daily battle for me. And it’s totally okay to have good and bad days in life. It’s all about balance. And riding out the ups and downs. 

    Mentally we need to stay on top of our mental well-being in order to stay well. Just like we would do physio on a weak muscle in our physical body. I just wish society would catch up with this pretty simple notion. 

    Come join me over on TikTok and dance your way through the challenges life throws at us!

    Final thoughts

    Ultimately, I am here to tell everyone out there, it does get better. Hang on, stick around, and get out of bed. Get up and fight! Trust me, I know how painful and draining it is to even think about getting a shower and walking out of the door, following a mental breakdown. But you must. This world needs you. 

    Grow in Confidence
    Achieving personal development, Mental Health, Mindset change

    The Greatest Gift I Gave Myself in 2022 Was Self Improvement

    , 6 Comments

    With the Valentine’s Day hype now over, it’s a good time to reflect on the self-improvement gifts I give to myself. And how doing this benefits me hugely. My hope is that one day we normalise taking time for self-care. Instead of seeing it as laziness.

    If you follow my blog, you will know in the past I struggled with my mental health. Mainly because I was super organised, controlling and pretty uptight. However, it’s clear now that underneath all that, I was an anxious wreck. And I certainly wasn’t a happy person. 

    self improvement

    It was time for a brain reset. Strangely my mental breakdown gave me this, in part. But obviously not in a healthy way. And I needed to, once and for all, align my habits and circumstances with what I truly wanted out of life.

    Why I chose hypnotherapy

    Although a series of life circumstances made me reassess my whole life, there was still something missing. I knew I didn’t want to seek out counselling or a therapist, as I had used these tools several times in the past. Some of it worked and some of it didn’t. The option of a life coach was considered. But when I settled on a hypnotherapy course, I basically got the whole package. A life coach, a guide, impactful meditation. And a range of tools to use in my life moving forward. This was a lifetime solution. And once you go through intense meditation sessions, your brain is permanently changed for the better. There is no going back, in the best way possible. 

    Case study of our sessions

    You might remember me posting on social media about Kevin, my therapist, writing a case study summarising our sessions together. It’s great to read through the progress we made. And I hope this will give you all an insight into how a hypnotherapy course can help you. 

    Why not sign up to download the PDF document and read it? Maybe you are ready to begin your hypnotherapy journey… 

    Read all the blog posts in my hypnotherapy series

    Looking way back to my past self

    Sometimes when you’re in the moment, you cannot stand back from the situation enough to use hindsight and make informed decisions about what happened. As a process, hypnotherapy doesn’t look too far back to your past self. The theory is that it doesn’t matter. And I agree with this.

    However, I’ve recently been having a huge clear out of my camera roll (it’s a must as a blogger – all those TikTok videos take up a huge amount of space) and noticed a few things about who I was five years ago (I use the five-year mark because this is around when things started changing for me):

    There were numerous helpful quotes saved to my phone, from social media. Now I try to be the one creating these images for other people.

    I reflected on group photos with people who are no longer in my life. They were not on my wavelength and they were a total drain on my energy. Whilst I wish others well in life, I must surround myself with non-toxic people. I’ve learned, you don’t have to be everyone’s friend. And it’s okay that people are on totally different paths in life.

    There were endless images of self-development notes I started writing. The inner work on myself began several years ago. I just didn’t realise it at the time. It wasn’t easy to comprehend where this journey would take me. I resigned myself to a life of stress because I genuinely thought that was how everyone lived.

    Ultimately, a series of events which happened over the last five years would force me into changing my circumstances and myself, whether I liked it or not.

    self improvement
    Read more about my circumstances on this page

    The impact of not aligning your goals, priorities, values and character traits

    I now feel in synch, with my priorities, goals and how I live my life. Imagine planning a train journey. You book activities in Norfolk for a 7-day period, but your train is heading to Wales. You’re in the wrong place. heading in the completely wrong direction. That’s how I felt for years!

    Imagine starting a construction job, but you don’t have the materials to begin the first stage. I felt like this daily – like a really important component of my life was missing! Like my life, the people around me, and how I was living, were totally out of sync with my goals. Once major changes happened in my circumstances, it was clear I still had old habits, which also didn’t match my circumstances. 

    It was time for a brain reset. Strangely my mental breakdown gave me this, in part. But obviously not in a healthy way. And I needed to, once and for all, align my habits and circumstances with what I truly wanted out of life.

    I will be honest and say, everyone, is a constant work in progress. There is always work to do on yourself and we as human beings, should never stop progressing.

    Reflecting on my hypnotherapy journey

    It’s now time for me to reflect on my hypnotherapy journey and summarise the benefits and what I learned. 

    It’s important to note that since completing the course, I’ve been able to cement considerable changes in my life. I had started making progress on significant life changes before I met Kevin. However, the power of hypnotherapy in implementing lasting changes is the reason I am where I am today. 

    These are the main differences in who I was before 

    Be Intentional in everything I do

    Set boundaries in ALL areas of my life

    Say no when I need to protect my mental health

    Value my time 

    Be kind to self 

    Experience joy daily

    Practice gratitude

    Consciously participate in fun activities with my toddler

    Talk openly about emotions and problems in order to solve them

    Help and guide others who may be feeling low

    An example of how my life has transformed

    A great example is my career, I spent 15 years in a stressful, demanding career and I genuinely thought everyone endured this level of stress. Turns out it wasn’t what everyone experienced in their working lives. During my hypnotherapy journey, I completely changed my career and finally pursued my passion for helping people. I put in a lot of work and successfully applied for two job roles. I am finally putting one of my main character traits and values top of the list – HELPING OTHERS!

    I still have bad mental health days – just like everyone else

    To clarify, I still have bad mental health days. If you follow me on TikTok you will know this. But how I deal with the bad days or weeks, is what makes a huge difference. And honestly, I wouldn’t be in a position to do that as well, without the tools the hypnotherapy course gave me. Resilience to deal with your life circumstances and challenges is the best gift I ever gave myself.

    I approach each day now with a mindset of what can I achieve. What is the list for the day? Let’s smash this. I work hard, but no longer play hard. Our new family goal is watching the pennies, saving and planning for the future. 

    Final Thoughts

    I am so thankful I had the opportunity to go on this wonderful journey with Kevin. It’s the best thing that could have happened to me. And I truly believe that everything happens at the right time. Sometimes things come along that you really need. And this was one of them!

    Have you tried hypnotherapy?

    Is it something you’ve been thinking about trying?

    Have you downloaded the case study yet? I would love to hear your comments on this below.

    self improvement
    Achieving personal development, Mental Health, Mindset change, Tools for managing anxiety, wellness

    Life Won’t Stop Throwing Challenges Our Way So The Key Is Mental Strength

    , 12 Comments

    AD / PR – please note – the sessions have been gifted in exchange for my honest thoughts about the process

    The theme of mental strength came up in my latest Hypnotherapy session with Kevin. And it’s an important topic I want to explore a little more. 

    The fight, flight, and fear responses are triggered by our primitive brain and is essentially a safety mechanism which was useful many years ago. It saved the lives of our ancestors. But is it fit for purpose in today’s modern world? 

    I think it’s still useful, but the world has changed dramatically. Let’s be honest, in 2022 the world a scary place. The planet and its inhabitants are unstable and the feeling something bad could happen at any moment is anxiety-inducing in itself. 

    Put aside the current condition of the world, and imagine only staying within your family circle. Keeping yourself locked away in your protective bubble. You will still face disagreements, loss, and hurt. There is no avoiding the fact that life will throw us a curve ball, at some point. And it’s only a matter of time. 

    Rather than dwell on the fact this unpredictable moment is coming, I have chosen to strengthen my mind. So that, when this situation arises, I can respond and react differently. 

    And it’s going really well, so far. I already feel better. But we have lots more work to do in order to build my mental strength. 

    mental strength

    Previous posts in this series

    If you want to follow my hypnotherapy journey, you can check out the two posts below:

    Achieving Personal Development – My Journey With Solution-Focused Hypnotherapy

    A Powerful Concept – The Ability To Change Our Brain

    Download my new workbook – a freebie designed to organise your busy life

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    mental strength

    Your reaction is a choice 

    I know these words are true. But it isn’t as simple as just saying this sentence. I certainly don’t feel this way. Currently, I can’t fully control my response to situations that trigger me and this is why I need help to build my mental strength. The science behind hypnotherapy is hugely beneficial, to try to understand how it impacts my thinking (and therefore my behaviours).

    At the moment, we are exploring tools to stop the moment anxiety gets out of control and assess the reaction. A lot of research says our reaction is often the thing which causes us the most distress, rather than the event itself. It’s our response to it which is problematic. Obviously in reality it isn’t as simple as this. And the research is more complex than I can explain. 

    Your reaction is a choice 

    I hope one day soon I will truly feel the full impact of these words and I can shout them from the rooftops. And fully take control of every reaction I have in life. That’s the goal!

    Why choose a therapist to assist you in building mental strength?

    There are some people out there who believe you can read a book, or watch YouTube videos to become an expert, I was previously one of them. However, some experiences you need to be guided through. Especially when we are talking about accessing and changing the subconscious mind.

    Hypnotherapy is about understanding how the brain works. Knowledge is power. But there is a lot to learn and this can only be done properly by taking it one step at a time. In this respect, weekly or fortnightly sessions provide enough time to consume the information and provide meaning.

    I have to put the work in!

    Kevin provides me with tools to do my own work. He’s like a guide. How much of the reading I choose to do in between sessions and how many trance recordings I practice in my own time, is completely up to me.

    The work we complete during the sessions is also dependent on my life circumstances and the people around me and how I form relationships. We are also looking at the problems I currently face in being able to fully thrive as a person.

    Final thoughts

    I think people often go to therapy thinking someone will fix them (I did in the past) but change doesn’t happen without the individual wanting to make a change and working to do it. 

    If you want to start your journey of change, you can book a FREE discovery call with Kevin here.

    WANT TO WORK WITH ME

    Check out a summary of my blog stats, the brands I have worked with and recent feedback I’ve received.

    For collaborations, or any other queries you can contact mummyconqueringanxiety@gmail.com

    I look forward to hearing from you.

    Achieving personal development, Mental Health, Mindset change, Tools for managing anxiety, wellness

    A Powerful Concept – The Ability To Change Our Brain

    , 38 Comments

    AD / PR – please note – the sessions have been gifted in exchange for my honest thoughts about the process

    Throughout this post, I want to introduce you to a powerful concept. In the past, I have looked into neuroplasticity and how the brain functions. But I only scratched the surface. My latest hypnotherapy session provided a comprehensive overview of the brain model: essentially how the brain functions according to its different parts. And more importantly, how this can impact our automatic responses to stressful situations.

    The information Kevin provided me with blew my mind. Pun intended! Talking through how the brain functions react during panic attacks and how you pick up bad habits, which then become programmed responses, really resonated with me. It’s how I’ve lived for the past 15 years. But this type of solution-focused hypnotherapy asks you not to dwell on the past. It’s time to use it as a lesson and move forward. To a better, brighter future.

    powerful concept

    The brain model 

    Understanding the brain model made me think about the mechanisms at play when my anxiety levels rise. It also makes me feel less guilty about the flight or fight reactions I experienced in the past. Another benefit is it definitely makes me feel more sympathetic towards anyone else showing their emotions through anger. There is always an underlying reason behind someone’s behaviour. When talking about toddler tantrums recently, someone said to me “all behaviour is communication” and it’s so true. 

    Knowing my brain just reacts in a certain way, which is beyond my control, and this happens so fast before your logical brain can kick in, allows me to view anxiety differently. I now feel empowered with this knowledge and I feel like I have the building blocks to move forward.

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    Kevin as a therapist 

    We visit a particular therapist because they make us feel at ease and Kevin certainly does that. The way he uses humour to break up heavy topics helps me immensely. Similarly, I feel comfortable going through the trance part of the session with him. His voice is very soothing and it was an enjoyable experience to completely switch off. Something I feel I haven’t achieved for a while.

    Summary

    What I love about these sessions is the onus that the work is done by me and only I have the power to change things. The therapist is there to guide you. The weekly homework is there so I can put into practice what I’ve learned. It was great to read through the information he sent and also try a few of the trance recordings for myself.

    It is important to note, that although I don’t expect a quick fix, I am certain this journey will improve how I respond to life circumstances. I have started on level one of my building and although I have a way to go, I am starting to walk the path to a more fulfilled life.

    In every area of life, understanding what is happening to us and why helps. Knowledge is power!

    To book a free discovery call with Kevin, visit this page. Kevin can also be reached via Perma Hypnotherapy and directly at kevin@permahypnotherapy.co.uk

    powerful concept
    Mental Health, Mindset change

    Why You Should Never Stop Moving Forward

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    Albert Einstein famously said that life was like a bicycle: if you don’t keep moving forwards, you lose your balance. 

    What he meant by this was quite interesting. He was saying that you really do need to go with the flow rather than remain stagnant. You have to aim at something, otherwise, everything becomes such a chore. 

    Here are some reasons why you should keep moving forward. 

    The Past Cannot Serve You

    The first reason for moving forwards is that the past really cannot serve you. Regardless of how well (or badly) things went in the past, nothing that happened can determine what goes on in the present moment (unless you happen to be in prison). 

    Unfortunately, the human mind has a habit of holding onto things from the past, either in the form of regret or nostalgia. When you don’t stop moving forward, though, the need to remain in the past disappears. You’re just focusing on the situation in front of you, instead of looking backwards. 

    You Experience New Things

    Regularly moving to new areas is something that everyone should practice. That’s because you have an opportunity to experience new things. Staying in the same locale your entire life can get a little stale. 

    Buying Meriton Apartments in one city, and then renting them out when you go to the next is a great way to fund your lifestyle and keep moving forward. You can try new work, explore different areas, and meet new people. It’s all incredibly exciting. 

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    You Can Start Again

    Life doesn’t always work out the way you want it to. You can find yourself in situations that trap you or make you feel bad. 

    But when your fundamental driving force in life is to keep moving forward, these situations don’t last for long. Sure, things will go bad from time to time, but you always have the opportunity to move on. Starting again is something that you can absolutely do. 

    You Learn So Much More

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    When you travel around the world, you learn a lot about life. But when you stay in the same place, you don’t put yourself in situations that help you grow.

    You Improve Your Skills

    Many people work the same job for years on end because they worry about the consequences of moving on and doing something different. They wonder what might happen if they strike out and do their own thing. They fear losing money and falling out of contact with colleagues. They worry about what will happen to their network, pension, or social status.

    But these fears aren’t usually worth listening to. Sure, you could wind up a little poorer, but there’s always money to be found. There are always new opportunities to make a good go of life. 

    Your Failures Aren’t Final

    Lastly, constantly moving forwards ensures that your failures are never final. Yes, things will go wrong. But a life of motion and activity will always produce fruits, regardless of the depths of its lows. If you stay in the same place, then your failures are final. 

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