Quick note: Some of the links on this page are affiliate links; if you go through them to make a purchase, I will earn a commission. I only recommend products I use myself and think would be useful for other people.
I started this blog in August 2021, because I felt compelled to share my story with other people. Going through challenging circumstances, naturally makes you assess how resilient you really are. I was in a dark place at the time, social media and talking about my experiences really helped me. And I knew it would help other people.
Talking about your experiences could make someone feel less alone. I am now accepting mental health guest posts. I would love to help other people get their message out there – to the people who need it most.
Let’s explore – Topics To Get You Started In Talking About Your Mental Health
Everyone has a unique experience
I hope other people never experience the darkness of anxiety or depression. However, the reality is, that we may all experience challenging circumstances in life. There will be times when our stress bucket fills up and there needs to be an outlet. A healthy amount of anxiety is a natural defence mechanism. And in small amounts, it can keep us safe. But it’s when the balance tips that the problems begin.
Talking helps
It is no secret that talking to other people can help with our mental health. There has been amazing research on the power of community groups and connecting with our peers.
One main lesson I’ve taken from starting my blogs is that we can speak out – to help other people. But we may never know about the great impact this has. We don’t need to know. The purpose of kindness and empathy is to give it out. Not to measure the effect you had on someone’s life. Just know – that by talking honestly about your own story, you may positively impact someone else. You could even quietly save a life.
Sam – Mummy Conquering Anxiety Blog
Let’s dive into the topics you could talk about, to start a conversation which may help other people
The symptoms of your mental illness
Everyone is different. And like all other ailments, both physical and mental problems impact individuals differently. Talking about the symptoms you face, could help you relate to other people out there. Whi might also be experiencing the same thing as you.
Every person is different and no mental health diagnosis will impact people in the same way. Writing about what you personally do to stay well, despite your struggles, could help inspire someone else to adopt well-being tools.
Your mental health goals & aspirations
Because my mental breakdown was triggered by pregnancy, work stress and becoming a new mother, all of these factors are something I personally worry about. Overcoming this adversity and worry has proved to be a massive hurdle for me. But worth the work.
Often great life goals can be borne from the toughest of life circumstances. Writing about how you formulated these goals can be liberating. And it will definitely help other people.
Want more Topics To Get You Started In Talking About Your Mental Health?
Your daily & weekly self-care routine
We should ALL have a self-care routine. Despite what society tells us, it’s important. We look after ourselves physically but often neglect the mental health we should preserve and nurture.
Sharing what you do daily or weekly, to look after your mind can inspire other people to look after theirs. Or adopt some of your routines, which could prove to be life-changing for them.
An example from my own life was persevering with a Hypnotherapy course. Agreeing to start it was completely out of my comfort zone and some days, I was simply too busy to set aside time for the Zoom calls. But it was worth it. And I am now well versed in meditation, so much so that a quick 5-minute meditation recording really helps.
Life changes you’ve made to help your mental health
It’s a fact of life that we sometimes need to make significant changes in order to help our health. In the same way that you would eat less sugar if you were diabetic. Or you would pursue a course of physiotherapy after a severe physical injury. Sometimes we have to make changes to our lives to protect our mental health.
Sharing some of the life changes you might have made, with other people, may help them to start putting changes in place. Or start to think about the possibility of doing so. There is power in this.
Final Thoughts
One main lesson I’ve taken from starting my blogs is that we can speak out – to help other people. But we may never know about the great impact this has. We don’t need to know. The purpose of kindness and empathy is to give it out. Not to measure the effect you had on someone’s life. Just know – that by talking honestly about your own story, you may positively impact someone else. You could even quietly save a life.
GUEST POST – Author Bio – Tips on living Live Your Best – Most Positive Life
Hello from me, my blog is GAWD, Generalised Anxiety and Worry Diaries.
On the surface, I’m your average forty-something mum, with two kids, a husband, and a dog. Giving off the impression that life is effortless. But scratch that surface and you’ll find that I’m harbouring a secret power, I am in fact – Super Anxious Brummie Mummy! It’s a title I take very seriously. I can spend hours agonising over the stupidest of things. I meal-plan weeks in advance, make endless lists, set thousands of reminders, and have online shops booked in for over a month. Super anxious mum has all bases covered, she’s got fingers in every anxiety-inducing pie.
GAWD is a place where I serve you up some regular ramblings from me and my bonkers, anxious brain. Some of it is not that easy to stomach, gawd no. Some bites could give the Norovirus a run for its money. Some of you will relate, some of you will laugh out loud, and I’m guessing that some of you will run for the hills. But that’s what it’s all about. Having those difficult conversations, in the hope that those affected, will reach out. I’m a mental health mentor and young person’s mental health advocate. I’m a MSc psychology grad, so I’ll throw in a teeny bit of science into the pot, to help us make sense of things.
Quick note: Some of the links contained on this page are affiliate links and if you go through them to make a purchase, I will earn a commission. I only recommend products I use myself and think would be useful for other people.
It’s getting dark by 4.30 pm, the mornings are gothic and misty. The long, hot, sunny days are fading into a distant memory. With winter firmly on the horizon, you’d be forgiven for losing that positive outlook on life. Winter blues are a real thing. Especially for anxious souls like me. Christmas is coming, the goose is getting fat. Please will someone put a nice big dose of positivity in my bobble hat? Isn’t that how the old rhyme goes? Well fear not, I have devised a clever strategy to help us all, even the seasonally affected folk, to start feeling that festive cheer and pack away that negative bleurgh.
Festive? Cheers…
At the time of writing this, I was dusting off the Halloween decorations, getting the sparklers out for bonfire night, and starting to think about the big ‘X’ (festive celebration, starts with X and ends with ‘mas). I don’t know about you, but it kind of feels like the moment that the children go back to school, after the summer holidays, life ramps up ten gears.
If only it was a slow burn into Autumn, revving up to Christmas. But oh no, it’s stress-o’clock from the get-go. It’s so busy, it’s like our fixed calendar celebrations and holidays are setting us up for a fail. Then January hits and it’s all quiet on the western front, with only the most depressing day of the year to look forward to.
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Tips on living Live Your Best – Most Positive Life – CONTINUED
Plus there’s life’s daily demands and those curve snowballs, for instance; navigating the freezing school run, endless amounts of laundry, wardrobe changeover, what to cook for dinner, and salads are officially out. (Not that my kids thought they were in.)
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It doesn’t help that I gave birth to my children in the Autumn months. I mean, I should have really mapped out the old gestation calendar a bit better. I always say I’m not going mad, we’ll keep the kids’ parties simple. Cut to – headless chicken-style party planning with the end result resembling a Hollywood-esque style, grand affair. Sixteen party favours per bag, bubble teas being produced at a rate of knots, icing cupcakes until two in the morning. I do jest, I love making the kids happy. But I feel like anxiety adds pressure to my plate that’s kind of unhelpful. An inner push-me-pull-me scenario. Is this good enough? Am I good enough? Push, push, push and break.
Bee positive
So short of moving Halloween to January, or home-schooling the kids, (not gonna happen). I feel the need to post some guidelines on how to not lose your mind get through the busiest of seasons and most importantly stay on a positive tip. But what do I mean? You can say “bee positive” and all of those other lovely little phrases, but it’s hard when you’re faced with life’s trials to actually grasp what it means to be and more importantly, stay positive. Sometimes it feels so much easier to focus on the bad things in our lives, you know. Especially those who suffer from anxiety, spiralling in and out of negative thoughts. And the culprit? I present to you, cortisol. This little firecracker is a chemical in the brain which increases when we’re on a negative tip. It’s the body’s reaction to stress or a threat.
Walking risk assessments
Negative thoughts are essentially threats to our system. Being prone to negativity is not a new thing for humans. Many moons ago, being on guard and looking out for risks, with high levels of cortisol running through our veins, was essential for survival in an unsafe world. Now we live in a safe(ish) world. Unfortunately, it just so happens that anxiety disorders can make us feel like those poor old cavemen and women. Like we are in imminent danger, every second of every day.
Anxiety and negativity do have their positives, even in these modern times. Anxious, negative thinkers often catastrophize thoughts and think of the worst-case scenarios, thus avoiding potential drama. We’re able to spot where helpful changes could be made in our lives, so we make great leaders. Negativity could save a life, anxious people make great risk assessors. We’re also fab realists to have around. So make sure you keep us on your Christmas card list.
Life changer
There are times though, that negativity needs to take a back seat. To make way for positivity and raise those levels of dopamine and serotonin – the happy chemicals. It’s not just about being happy-go-lucky little cheeky chappies, it’s so much more than that. Those with optimistic outlooks are said to live healthier, more fruitful, and enjoyable lives. I think one study said that optimistic women live on average 4.4 years longer! 4.4 years folks! There is an indirect relationship between optimism and adopting a healthier lifestyle, thus extending time on this sweet planet. I’ve said it once, I’ll say it again. “Time is our most precious commodity.”
Happy little pictures
So how do we go about living our best positive lives? I decided that rather than grand red letter day-type positivity excursions. (They were all out of hot air balloon rides in Surrey.) I’d go about identifying the small everyday wins. I set about conducting a small-scale experiment. To post daily pics on my Instagram. account – Super Anxious Brummie Mummy! What better way to document the small wins than by the power of photography? There’s nothing like an uplifting or funny picture to lift the spirits. Plus those little hits of joy were exactly the bursts of dopamine and serotonin my body needed to counter the negativity.
Now I’m going to lie, it wasn’t easy. Some days I was racking my brain thinking, “What on Earth is a winner from today’s s**t show?” And worse than that, anxiety and cortisol were fighting against my small wins and trying to cloud them with negativity. Brain, why do you test me so?!? On other days, small wins smacked me right in the kisser. They took on exciting new forms, like, finding joy at the loo seat being clean and put down, or watching my dog, a most excellent, furry bullet squirrel chaser. I did some real soul-searching. This process, for me, has really proved that, where there is darkness, there’s also light. Yep, it was also National Poetry Week, I had a go at poetry. I liked it = small win.
FROM THE MCA BLOG – Books to help you on your positivity journey:
By confronting negativity head-on and finding the positive within a negative, I was adopting the ‘negative bounce’ method. Real bonafide psychologists have coined this fun term, (Tugade, 2004). Also, it turns out that I am not only countering negativity and becoming more positive. I’m building resilience to future negative events. Because guys, headliners – ‘life is full of these ups and downs.’
Tips on Living Live Your Best – Most Positive Life. Other top small wins and negative bounces:
Bee rescue, I saved a bee from a spiderweb. This is even after my unfortunate encounter in the summer, where one travelled up my trouser leg and stung me twice! Overcoming fears and wildlife rescue. I mean, it’s all there, right?
In future, when someone is asking me to “Bee positive ” I’ve a good mind to tell them to “buzz off!” I’m doing just fine without a winged stinger of a phrase to keep my chin up. I am, of course, joking, who doesn’t love a little positivity meme? I’m just trying to drum home that positivity is in the eye of the beholder. But do remember negativity has its place, it’s how we manage stressful situations and protect ourselves. It’s learning how best to bat those thoughts away when they become unhelpful, that’s the key
gawd blog founder
Not lost my stuff because a coffee pot lid had been left off, so when I went to use it it fell open and sprayed coffee everywhere. I laughed. That is a small win right there. (Big win for others in my house you might argue.)
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Celebration that I can keep a plant alive, not just any old plant. My child’s bonsai tree is notoriously difficult to care for. Small win. I would move that to big wins, but let’s see if it’s still alive in a few months.
Capturing a very large spider in a glass and setting it free. I’m petrified of the hairy beasts. But the kids were fascinated and we had fun looking at its gorgeous fangs… We named him Derek Gordon. (8-year-old son’s choice.)
And do you know looking back and seeing all of those small wins documented, is an affirmation that I am ok. I’m happy with my lot. In future, when someone is asking me to “Bee positive ” I’ve a good mind to tell them to “buzz off!” I’m doing just fine without a winged stinger of a phrase to keep my chin up. I am, of course, joking, who doesn’t love a little positivity meme? I’m just trying to drum home that positivity is in the eye of the beholder. But do remember negativity has its place, it’s how we manage stressful situations and protect ourselves. It’s learning how best to bat those thoughts away when they become unhelpful, that’s the key. Right, back to Instagram.
TTFN.
A final word from MCA founder, Sam:
I hope you enjoyed reading this fab guest post – Tips on living Live Your Best – Most Positive Life
I wanted to write a list of great books by people who’ve found creative ways to manage their anxiety levels. In addition to this, I will also be letting you know about some courses which are geared towards wellness.
Quick note: AD-AFF-GIFTEDSome of the links contained on this page are sponsored and affiliate links. If you go through an affiliate link to make a purchase, I will earn a commission. I only recommend products I use myself and think would be helpful for other people.
Shall we dive into the list of great resources to help you with managing anxiety?
Education – courses for managing anxiety
Charlotte Lewington
Charlotte is a bestselling co-author, educator and consultant helping children and young people to find their voice, be seen and feel validated. There is nothing she is more passionate about than making sure children know that they are loved and love themselves from the inside out. During her own childhood, Charlotte faced many struggles that only made her stronger. Through these experiences, she learnt that you can either sit down and cry about things or you get up and you move on. Learning the lesson being shown to you.
After 16 years of experience within different health and childcare settings, Charlotte gained a degree in psychology and is currently working towards a master’s degree in children and young people. Charlotte spends most of her time delivering training to nurseries, schools and organisations offering workshops and retreats relating to emotional well-being.
Her mission is to provide support in order to bridge the gap with the mental health crisis that we are currently experiencing.In between all this, you will often find charlotte travelling the world and making the most out of life.
You can view and purchase all of her courses on Udemy UK.
Please head over and check out her Facebook group – Children’s Mental Health Support for Parents & Educators | Facebook
She also offers
1-2-1 support sessions if anyone is feeling lost or finding the queen’s death a trigger. For anyone finding it challenging with children going back to school or children managing anxiety about anything, parents or carers can book a call. She is also currently looking for people to be involved in a book collaboration.
Miss M Online courses
I recently wrote about how important it is to nurture a business-minded child. And more importantly, teach essential life skills that are usually lacking in the mainstream school system. You can check out the full blog post here.
Well, it’s time to bring you the latest from this amazing platform. Check out some of the courses available below.
What’s the latest?
Why not check out the new business board game? What an amazing gift for a young person this Christmas!
Head over and check out all of their amazing learning resources. Maybe you want to buy the gift of learning for a loved one or friend this holiday season. You know someone who is currently managing anxiety and needs some assistance.
Books for managing anxiety
You can check out my page, dedicated to all things books! Feel free to browse the other book-related posts on my blog
Running For Our Lives is about how running helps people overcome life challenges and mental health struggles. It touches upon how it helped Rachel reclaim her identity after she became a mum. In addition, it contains human stories and experiences from ordinary people.
I knew this title would resonate with time on some level. But I was unprepared for how much I would feel an emotional connection to the stories. A literal pang in my heart because this journey of sharing our mental health struggles is also one I’ve been on myself. I couldn’t put this book down, thanks to honest writing. Not to mention, the sheer power of connection between human beings who have one shared cause.
“It enables us to silence the chimp and write another story for ourselves – one where things become possible.”
“Perhaps it is you seeing the tiniest chink of light in a very dark place, discovering that you have a new friend in the world – one whom you have never met.”
The Cold Fix is about the healing power of cold water immersion in overcoming physical and mental pain. Or anguish including osteoarthritis, seasonal sadness, migraines, alcoholism and overthinking. It’s about growing older and exploring new opportunities; menopause, body image and confidence.
My thoughts
When reading the book, my initial thought was that I was intrigued as to why people do this and I find it fascinating that such an extreme activity can help someone mentally.
I particularly like the sensory and meditative experience which comes with this technique. It feels similar to how I probably feel when doing meditation.
“Coming here on my own had indeed added a risk factor, but it had also motivated and driven me to climb, literally, out of my comfort zone and rediscover a world that had been out of my reach for too long”
“The cold water has given me the key to unlock myself within a place I didn’t know existed: the community of cold-water swimmers right around the world. What binds us all together is the cold and how it makes us feel: brave enough to tackle even the toughest of life’s issues.”
Stand Up Paddleboarding is a guide to paddle boarding. However, Jo explains the sport has got her through grief, anxiety and empty nesting. It’s brought her identity back outside her roles as a mother, daughter, sister, and friend. And her commitment to the environment has strengthened. Back in 2019, she became the first woman aged 54 to stand up paddleboard coast to coast across northern England. Picking up litter and raising money for environmental charities.
My thoughts
The most striking thing about this book is the great images of places to visit. You feel transported there, and it’s wonderful. You are experiencing an adventure alongside reading about Jo’s story. There is a real variation in locations across the UK and I was glad to see some near where we live. It also makes me want to visit the places I haven’t visited and take in the scenery for myself.
The book also includes practical tips on how to get started, if you’re interested in starting your stand-up paddle-boarding journey
“A chance to walk on water, and I hope, appreciate that we all belong there too.”
He has recently been writing for some projects, aiming to help young people with their mental health. If you follow my blog, you will know I am totally on board with this. The current cost of living situation we are facing in the UK is only going to increase mental health problems among young people. Ultimately, it is up to us to raise awareness.
One is about how becoming guise-wise can really help reduce the mental health issues of young people (and not so young!)
Why? Because so many are the result of comparing ourselves to others, often obsessively, and to a disproportionate emphasis on relatively minor or very specific but not all-defining differences. Young people are especially prone to these practices. Supposing I’m a teenager preoccupied with my gender identity. Maybe I suspect I’m different in this respect from most of my friends. At one time, gender identity was not an issue for all but a tiny number of kids. Now it’s an issue for a lot, but that’s not the main point. The main point is that if I am a teenager with gender identity concerns then part of that will involve placing myself on a spectrum of gender gradations. I’m defining myself by what I am not and I’m probably defining my whole self primarily in terms of gender identity markers. This means that I’m not foregrounding all the many things I share with my peers – other aspects of identity, beliefs, preferences, interests and hosts of others that I share with everybody on the planet. Rather, I’m over-focusing on one thing that’s distinctive about me, one particular difference.
Becoming-Guise-Wise: How to dissolve the mental health issues of the young – Dr Michael Waters
The other is about making commonality-first, not difference-first how we should best respond to others – this would be the best legacy for the Queen since this is what she did in her life
She experienced diversity, more than anyone who has ever lived. No one else has been up as close and personal to such a variety of individuals in such a variety of settings. No one else has had more first-hand experience of as many different social and cultural groups. Who else has made official visits to over 117 countries and carried out over 21,000 official engagements, to say nothing of walkabouts and other unscripted exchanges? It’s also clear that she cared deeply for many of those to whom the word “diversity” is usually applied – minorities and the marginalised.
The Queen’s Legacy: Commonality-First – Dr Michael Waters
Workbooks for managing anxiety
I had to share the workbooks that personally helped me with managing anxiety, during the down periods in my life. I still have these on the shelf by my workspace. They proved to be so beneficial in my time of need.
My Bookshelf at home
Final thoughts
I hope you found these tools for managing helpful anxiety. Maybe a book you want to purchase something for yourself or a loved one?
Let me know your favourite book or course – I would love to hear from you in the comments.
Recent posts on the blog
Feel free to check out some of the other posts on my blog:
My mental breakdown happened in May 2021. A culmination of a difficult pregnancy, work stress, birth trauma, no self-care whatsoever, lack of sleep for a prolonged period and caring for a small child. I found the whole period overwhelming and there were not enough hours in a day to juggle the unmanageable load. The breaking point seemed to come when my workplace started adding too much pressure on everyone. Up until this point I was keeping my head above water, even though hindsight tells me it wasn’t a healthy way of living.
You have some pretty random thoughts when you’re in the midst of a mental breakdown and you cannot decipher fiction from reality. All the thoughts passing through your mind become your reality and you rely on the people closest to you to tell you which ones you should listen to.
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Everyone is entitled to their own opinion and I know some people are dubious about awareness days. I totally agree with the point that mental health should be spoken about every. single. day. However, I will use awareness days to talk about my own personal experience. If one person who wasn’t aware of my situation, learns something new, I am happy. For me, it is all about raising awareness. In the hope that one day in the future, these small actions will amount to huge systematic changes.
Today I want to talk to you about where I am with my mental health journey and how long it took to be well again
Full system reboot
In previous blog posts, I discussed the feeling of my brain switching off and it couldn’t be restarted again. Throughout the aftermath of my mental breakdown, I spent my days pretty much switched off completely. Sitting on the sofa for hours on end, watching TV, but not really paying attention to anything. There was no sense of time. Depression made my cheeks hurt. I never thought you could get a cheek ache from a sad face, but you can.
My friends and family were very adamant about the fact I should continue a “normal” routine. I hate that word, because what is normal? It has a different meaning for each individual and I think the word acts as an unattainable standard. This is true in my life, anyway, so I avoid using the word.
Battling with your own mind is a daily challenge
During this period of recovery, every action, movement, and the daily task was a challenge. I had to work myself up to get a bath. My hubby pretty much forced me to go on a long walk one day and it took every ounce of energy I had to get out of the house. I still look at these pictures and remember the pain and general numbness I felt.
During this period, I absolutely focused my energy on looking after my little one, on the days she didn’t attend nursery. But, sometimes I just didn’t have the resources and therefore a lot of it fell to my hubby and parents to help out.
She also knew something was wrong and would come and “look after” me. Young children have a sixth sense and they can pick up on emotions, even if you think you’re hiding them well. I still feel mum-guilt for taking time out for self-care, sometimes. Especially napping in the afternoon if I need to. I’ve come to realise there are precautions I need to take in order to maintain a good standard of mental well-being. And I will always be honest with my little one, about emotions and why self-care is needed. Parents cannot parent well if we don’t look after ourselves. It’s a constant battle.
Bringing me back to life
My family and friends surrounded me with love, but I was emotional, worn down, and temperamental. It would be months before I had my life back, my personality and gained a sense of identity again. Depression strips you of all these things. The system reboot is what it says on the tin. You are stripped back to factory settings. A blank canvas. And hitting rock bottom is a horrible experience. But there is hope. Things can get better. But I won’t lie and say it is easy. It is one of the hardest things I’ve done in my life.
The self-care routine that helped
During this period I was off work, and largely by myself, whilst everyone around me went about their daily lives. I spent my days having long baths, using all my trusted self-care products. My local park became my haven and I would sit on a particular bench, soaking up nature, thinking about life and watching the world go by. A world I wasn’t fully part of yet. In my mind, I was a bystander, invisible to everyone else.
My friends and family were very adamant about the fact I should continue a “normal” routine. I hate that word, because what is normal? It has a different meaning for each individual and I think the word acts as an unattainable standard. This is true in my life, anyway, so I avoid using the word.
I honestly never thought of the secondary impacts of being depressed. But there are so many. As the money organiser of the house, being switched off, reset, and rebooted isn’t exactly great for maintaining a household, or remembering to pay bills. I just didn’t care about organising life anymore. And it impacted our family.
I started baking to bring myself back to life and clinging onto anything I previously loved, to ignite a passion. To bring back a spark. But I still felt unhappy, and numb. I had affirmation cards and motivational quotes scattered around the house. These massively helped and I still use them to this day. I even visited the local spirit church, in the hope of finding some peace. It worked.
Toxic workplace culture
Reluctant to carry on as normal, when I was off work due to mental health problems, I was scared and filled with irrational fears. What if someone from work sees me? What would they think? Looking back, these thoughts were the negative anxiety voice in my head. And they were created from working in toxic workplace cultures for so long. Something I will never go back to!
Dichiperhing fiction and reality
My family were right. Normality, routine and self-care were all needed. A focus on my health, not the workplace which had basically sent me to this negative place in my mind. Why on earth did I still want to focus on them? But the mind does this. You have some pretty random thoughts when you’re in the midst of a mental breakdown and you cannot decipher fiction from reality. All the thoughts passing through your mind become your reality and you rely on the people closest to you to tell you which ones you should listen to.
What mental illness really looks like
I see a lot of debate on this. The answer – every single person will be impacted by mental illness differently. I hid my anxiety for years. therefore I looked fine. But I wasn’t. That said, I look back at the photos just after my mental breakdown and I remember how I felt. Going through them today actually makes me quite sad. I need to not dwell on them for too long.
The photos show bad skin, a blank look behind the eyes, and tiredness. Throughout my journey back to recovery, I sometimes compared these pictures with ones where I looked slightly happier. To me, it meant progress. When you’re in the midst of recovery, it is sometimes difficult to see any progress and look at the situation objectively.
There was an element of ‘putting on a brave face’ for my little one. But mostly, I accepted my situation and allowed myself to feel the pain and numbness. Something I had masked for so long was finally let out! In order to heal, you have to acknowledge your situation. And I had battled with anxiety for too long.
The journey back to life
I still have gripes about the NHS and the procedures in place to help someone who has suffered a mental breakdown. Looking back, the doctors didn’t really focus on support around me and my circumstances. I didn’t feel heard, or looked after. A doctor pretty much told me they cannot be responsible for me staying off work any longer and I would have to take it up with my workplace. A workplace they knew had put me in this situation and was not helping me during the period of time I was unwell. During telephone calls with the doctor, I was distressed, and emotional, asking for help. And I felt like a burden. They made me feel like I was being dishonest to get time off work.
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Systematic change in mental health care
It is important to say, I know NHS staff are overworked, unpaid and bound by ridiculous policies. However, they are also human beings. For anyone who watched the recent Panorama documentary, when did we stop caring for other human beings, just because we have a certain job title?
I am writing this post today because there is clearly a lot of work to be done around mental health awareness. A systematic change must happen.
I’ve accepted I will never be fully healed. We are all a work in progress and life will continue to throw us challenges. Our job is to work on how we respond to adversity.
Allowing adequate time for recovery
At the time of writing this post, it has taken me a total of 18 months to consider myself fully recovered from my mental breakdown. Our financial circumstances took a hit as a result. I was expected to return to work, by both the workplace and the NHS when I wasn’t ready or well enough to. Why aren’t we looking after people who find themselves in this position? Both in the respect of health and finances. If you had a broken leg, your sick note would be issued for longer, without question and I am sure you would be entitled to some sort of financial help. Arguably, fighting a battle with your mind is worse than a physical ailment. So why as a society do we treat people with mental illness so unfairly?
Finances and mental health
I honestly never thought of the secondary impacts of being depressed. But there are so many. As the money organiser of the house, being switched off, reset, and rebooted isn’t exactly great for maintaining a household, or remembering to pay bills. I just didn’t care about organising life anymore. And it impacted our family. If you or your family are impacted by similar issues, Mind has a great section on how mental health can impact finances and vice versa.
Where am I in my life now?
At this point, I finally feel somewhat recovered. My hypnotherapy course has provided the tools I need to move forward with a weekly self-care routine. It’s a way I can look after my mind and keep myself healthy. I’ve accepted I will never be fully healed. We are all a work in progress and life will continue to throw us challenges. Our job is to work on how we respond to adversity.
I also finally feel able to take on more hours at work and look to the future. But also keep in mind that my family life is a priority as well. This being the case, I am taking steps to plan our next five years as a family. We need slightly more money to set in motion everything we want to achieve. But I still want us both to have one day per week with my little one. And of course, a family day together.
Final thoughts
Ultimately, hitting rock bottom allows you to create a blank canvas. You start afresh with brand-new building blocks. And you have the power to change things in your life that no longer serve you.
It’s strange to say this, but hitting rock bottom has transformed my life. Would I choose this experience if I could go back? No! But am I thankful for it? Yes.
I feel privileged to introduce you to my August 2022 advertisers
It’s now time for me to share other people’s wonderful blogs. Please go and show my August 2022 advertisers some love, by commenting, sharing their posts, and interacting with one another. I regularly post on Twitter about the blogging community and how it is great to be part of such a supportive group of people.
Look out for updates throughout the month on Twitter.
This month I have a returning blogger and someone completely new. I can’t wait to share the details with you!
Time to check out the advertisers
Lady Boss Nomad
A little bit about the blog
Having owned a successful service-based bookkeeping business and starting as a small business owner. I’m an intelligent savvy business owner with a creative edge. I can help you with your product creation through launch, list building and marketing your new products. If you’re service-based I can help you set up systems to attract the right clients.
Please also check out Amber’s other blog.
Blog posts you should check out
Please also check out her ‘DFY Social media kits’ – this kit includes 90 inspirational social media quotes for Instagram Twitter and Facebook for businesses to use as their own. At a special price of $5.00.
Hello, I’m Kelly, owner of The Kelly Diane Report. I started my blog as a way to document my life and the things I enjoy. You will find lots of tips, hacks and product reviews as well as so much more. I hope I can inspire you to try new things and enjoy the life you have.
I am taking bookings for the rest of 2022 and you can find more details here.
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I am offering a SPECIAL DISCOUNT for the remainder of 2022. Book three months on the silver package for £10.00, instead of £12.00. (this applies to existing bookings and new ones, and you can select any of the remaining months of the year as three months!)
I want to say thank you to Chloe from Nyxie’s Nook for this amazing guest post. I personally found social media to be the most amazing, supportive community following my mental breakdown and I definitely needed it. This post outlines the reasons it can be helpful for mental wellbeing.
Let’s dive in
Social media has long since been branded as hazardous to our mental and physical health. For those within a certain age bracket, it’s seen as something akin to the fall of socialisation. We constantly hear about children as young as six becoming addicted to social media, or adults missing the world around them because their nose is stuck in their phones.
But what about the positive side of social media? If we look beyond the addiction and online trolls, social media has helped shape the 21st century into a more inclusive place to be.
For a long time, we’ve been under the assumption that asking for help is a weak or attention-seeking behaviour. But with the help of social media, we’re now much further forward in realising that speaking up about our issues is an act of strength.
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5 Positive aspects of social media
Social media can be a great way to raise awareness, bring communities together andhelp those less fortunate.
Before the use of the internet and social media, we all seemed so far away. America, Japan, England, Finland; We were all divided by oceans, land and borders. With the use of the internet and, in turn, social media we’re able to raise awareness for issues that would otherwise be limited by location. By using social media we can reach other, like-minded people who can help spread awareness among their own communities and so on.
We’re better able to keep in touch with our loved ones, arrange online catch-ups and even play virtual games.
With so much of the world in lockdown at different times and for various levels of COVID-19, many of us have become separated from our families and peers. And with the current state of things here in the UK, our isolation isn’t set to end any time soon. The internet and social media have become a way for us to socialize, catch up and even watch movies together while staying safely apart.
Netflix has created their Netflix party to help socially distanced subscribers to watch television shows and movies together. Zoom has become the number one go-to video chatting application for social catch-ups to business meetings. Instagram, Facebook and Twitter also deserve honourable mention for helping us keep in touch and meet like-minded people who are better able to help and support us. Some of the most trusting and inspirational people I know were found via social media!
Finally, although not specifically on social media, as an avid gamer I find the use of online resources helpful in finding gaming partners. There are various places online to connect and even chat with gamers worldwide. I’ve met so many people through my love for Animal Crossing and The Sims. I’m in various community groups online where I can chat about the games, get information, tips and advice, and even swap friend codes.
Of course, this is all done from a safe distance and, as an adult, I’m aware of the danger of meeting others online. If you have a teenager or even a child who frequently games with others online, it’s suggested that you keep an eye on their activity. Have a chat with them about online safety and take an interest in what they’re doing without being overly critical.
Social media can be a welcome distraction from the outside world or a devastating realisation of the world around us
Social media has acted as a means for me to distract myself from the goings-on around me, but it’s also been there to remind me of the harsh realities of the world around us. Without it, I doubt I would be kept as informed as I am. I avoid the news at all costs and have long since stopped trusting state-funded news reports. So various online sources, social media included, have been my direct link to COVID-19 news, election updates and even any new information being spread in regards to mental health services in my local area.
In regards to acting as a distraction, by frequently visiting social media and getting to know others online, I’ve been able to build a small support network. This support network is usually biased and helps distract me just by chatting about things other than what’s on my mind.
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Social media has helped to normalise help-seeking behaviour
For a long time, we’ve been under the assumption that asking for help is a weak or attention-seeking behaviour. But with the help of social media, we’re now much further forward in realising that speaking up about our issues is an act of strength. Many adults and young people are coming forward to encourage others to ask for help for things such as mental illness, grief, sexual assault etc. No longer are these things taboo, rather, we’re unified in our need to speak up!
Social media can offer a creative outlet
Much like writing a blog or sketching in a notebook, creating social media posts can act as a creative outlet but on a much smaller scale. The likes of Instagram are especially good for displaying things such as photography and artwork, while Tik Tok is for the videographer in all of us.Others can view your work, like, share and even become inspired. But, of course, it’s not always about the number of likes and engagement you get. So long as you’re careful about how you manage your life on social media, it can be a wonderful place to find and hone your creative voice.
What are your thoughts on social media and its impacts? Do you feel that it’s a positive, negative or a bit of both? How do you use social media and how do you protect your mental health when using it?
Final thoughts from me
I agree with all these benefits and I hope you enjoyed reading the post. All the details you need to connect with Chloe are below. Please go check out her blog, show some love, comment on posts and do what we do best in the blogging community, interact and show support.
My online blogging journey began in July 2021. It was born out of hitting rock bottom and feeling compelled to help other people facing mental health struggles. I just had to write down my thoughts and feelings, and sharing my story aided my recovery. Now I am working on my third blog launch.
Needless to say, my writing journey began way back. I still have boxes full of poems and diaries I scribbled in and shoved away in our storage cupboard. I really should dig them out and do something with them! I’ve always considered myself a writer at heart. Writing is my method of communication. It’s how I express myself. Writing helps me process my emotions.
Don’t get me wrong, I still have bad days. Even bad weeks. Everything gets on top of me no matter how hard I try to prevent it. I still have unhealthy outbursts around those I love, because I allow anxiety to take over. However, no human is perfect. We are all flawed and the difference now, is I don’t beat myself up about my downfalls. Instead, I learn from it and move on.
So how have I turned this ability into something I do each day? A passion that has taken over my life, in the best way possible?
I don’t do anything by halves. I never have done. My university days were spent burning the candle at both ends for three years. And as a result, almost seriously quit three times. From there, my life carried on in much the same fashion. A constant pattern of, running around like a superwoman, with lack of sleep, high anxiety, believing I could tackle the world. My blogging journey is no different.
The only difference is, that I am now a transformed person, who can manage my anxiety better. It hasn’t gone away, and it probably never will. However, I now look after my well-being daily. I make myself a priority. Hitting rock bottom has forced me to admit I cannot take on the world and I need a job with fewer hours, so I can focus on my little girl more.
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Time to review the way I live my life
Admitting you are not superwoman, when you’re predisposed to believe it, is a hard pill to swallow. However, hitting rock bottom was the best thing that could have ever happened to me.
Following my mental breakdown, I was forced to stop and take stock of my life. My mind and body wouldn’t allow any other mode than ‘go slow’. The only way to recover was daily self-care, medication, and self-love. By being brutally honest with myself and those closest to me, about my years of stress and anxiety. And telling the truth about what it did to me.
Don’t get me wrong, I still have bad days. Even bad weeks. Everything gets on top of me no matter how hard I try to prevent it. I still have unhealthy outbursts around those I love, because I allow anxiety to take over. However, no human is perfect. We are all flawed and the difference now, is I don’t beat myself up about my downfalls. Instead, I learn from it and move on.
In summary, I’ve set up two blogs and I am working on my third. However, I am confident I will know when a rest is required. When a long soak in the bath is to be favoured over writing a blog post.
You can be a certain personality type, even honour this, but also honour yourself and take care of your needs.
When you suffer the impact of a mental breakdown, you can’t ever go back to the person you were before. You’ve lived through the hard lessons already. It makes you a pro at detecting your stress levels are rising, and it’s time for some much-needed recharge time.
How do you manage your stress levels? I would love to know the techniques you use! Let me know in the comments below
I can’t wait to launch my third blog, in the meantime, you can view all my blog posts here. You can sign up for my freebie library here and you can check out the social media accounts for my second blog here.
Anxiety can have you in a grip if you’re not careful, and if you are dealing with the symptoms of anxiety, you know that it can feel suffocating. No one wants to feel like they’re in a chokehold and anxiety is exactly what keeps you in that locked-in space.
The symptoms of anxiety can pull you down and make you feel like you’re drowning, and whether you’re actively seeking anxiety management therapy or you are exploring ways to exercise the adrenaline that comes with it, you need help and support. Below, we’ve put together some of the best techniques that you can use to fight off anxiety and finally let that monster go.
Get some medical advice. Anxiety can happen to anyone at any time, but chronic anxiety can ruin your life. You can get cannabis for anxiety from an alternative doctor, but it’s not a bad idea to speak to a doctor and get a referral to a specialist. Sometimes, anxiety comes from other issues such as depression and you need some support in that case. The help you get is vital for your continued recovery so don’t be afraid to ask for it!
Work on refocusing. Sometimes, distraction works a charm when it comes to anxiety and anxiety has two main issues: mental panic and physical discomfort. You could experience a racing heart, stomach distress and muscle tension when you’re feeling anxious, and instead of being pulled into interception, you can work on refocusing so that you don’t have to feel the mental and physical components of anxiety.
Visualisation can work! Meditation is not just quack medicine. You can bet that you can calm the mind and the body when you visualise yourself in a calm state and do so in a calm place. The mind can impact the body in powerful ways and you should consider vivid visualization to calm yourself down to fight off the anxiety. Thinking calm thoughts or using visualisation methods to redirect yourself can work to improve the panic you’re feeling.
Embrace mindfulness practices. It’s important that you work on your psychological process and mindfulness practices can help you to do that. It’s all about living in the present as fully as you can and accepting what you can and cannot control. The whole point of mindfulness is to feel the here and now without fear and worry. You need to be in touch with your mind and body so that you can notice the sensations you’re feeling and combat them where you can.
Learn to relax. Oh, relaxation! Not easy for the anxious-minded out there. You can learn to do this by doing a workout. We know, that workouts are not easy when your mind is busy being frozen but expelling the adrenaline from your body can help to flood it with the right hormones so that you can finally feel calm and relaxed again.
Anxiety doesn’t have to floor you. You can fight the monster and win.
Anxiety is a form of stress. However, they are not the same. It is not uncommon for people who experience an extremely stressful situation to believe they have seen and survived anxiety. Dealing with high stress deserves all the respect in the world. But the main difference between anxiety and stress is that stress tends to have a tangible trigger, such as an urgent work project, for example.
Anxiety, on the other hand, has long forgotten its trigger. Someone who has gone through a disturbing experience that was stressful at the time could develop an anxiety disorder as a response, which means they could get anxious reminiscing about their previous experience, facing a new situation that shares common points with their experience, or even imagining what would happen if they were to go through the same thing again. Anxiety is the world where what-if questions live. Unfortunately, what ifs have no trigger. So, the typical advice to avoid triggers may not be useful at all.
How do you manage the what-if scenarios in day-to-day life?
Learn to know your mind
Controlling your mind is an impossible challenge. However, getting to know what makes you feel vulnerable and which mindset can influence your what-ifs could be a game-changer. That is precisely where keeping a journal can make a huge difference to your anxiety. Indeed, a journal allows you to play out some of the possible scenarios safely while reminding yourself of the positive things in your life. Listing the good and happy things in your life can help significantly. It is easy to lose yourself in the distress of a what-if narrative. But the positive aspects of your life can act as sanity lights that take you back to safety.
Besides, a journal can also let you track mood swings and habits, so you can identify times when you are more susceptible to anxiety.
Talk about it
What makes anxiety especially difficult to manage is social and emotional isolation. Anxiety can cut you off from your friend and family circle as you find it hard to express your thoughts and be heard. As such, what ifs drive loneliness? Being alone with your thoughts is never easy, especially when your thoughts get the best of you. Unfortunately, very few friends are mentally and emotionally astute about the stages of anxiety. But talking with someone who understands what you are going through and isn’t going to judge you for it can transform your experience. Expert psychologists at Three Seas have developed dedicated programmes to provide counselling and telehealth to their clients. Finding a therapist you can trust to manage and control what-if scenarios will offer the support you need to:
Free yourself from the spiralling anxiety trap
Learn to recognise dangerous thinking habits
Unlock your courage by voicing out your fears
Discuss potential techniques and coping mechanisms that could help in the future
Talk medication if needs be — why suffer alone when there are solutions out there?
What ifs are the enemy of an anxious mind. But, every enemy, ever the most fearsome ones, has weaknesses. What ifs lose their power when you can recognise them for what they are, name them, understand which habits grant them power, and ultimately remind yourself that they don’t control you. Is it easy? No, it never is. But, hopefully, these tips can help you feel less vulnerable to their soul-crushing darkness.
If you follow my blog or my TikTok – you will know I love a message about improving your relationships. And your outlook on life in general.
It’s all about communication and openness. It’s time to look back on the amazing reasons Hypnotherapy Changed My Life.
Upcoming collaborations – NEWS
I am excited to tell you, that I am in talks with other amazing business professionals, to progress my self-development and also talk about their wonderful businesses. Watch this space and be sure to subscribe to my blog, so you can be notified when a blog post is published.
You wouldn’t just keep a computer for 10 years, without regularly updating it, deleting files and giving it a refresh. The brain is the computer which rules our whole body – why wouldn’t we keep up with the maintenance of it?
Sam – Mummy Conquering Anxiety
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Let’s think back to my hypnotherapy course
My hypnotherapy course ended in November 2022. At the time, I needed some self-development. But I knew that standard counselling or therapy wasn’t the option I needed. When you experience a lot of life-changing events in quick succession, it’s about reprogramming your subconscious mind, with the new life goals and patterns of behaviour you want to adopt. Kind of like a computer update.
You wouldn’t just keep a computer for 10 years, without regularly updating it, deleting files and giving it a refresh. The brain is the computer which rules our whole body – why wouldn’t we keep up with the maintenance of it?
A brief overview of what hypnotherapy does
The idea behind hypnotherapy is that it can be used to reprogram the unconscious or primal parts of the brain that function to avoid pain and seek pleasure.
5 of the main lessons I took away from my hypnotherapy course
We largely live our lives on autopilot, paying attention to our logical brain.
Hypnotherapy allows us to switch off the automatic brain, which allows us to reprogram our subconscious.
Reprogramming our subconscious can allow us to get rid of old habits, which no longer serve us.
Due to the primal parts of our brains, still ruling a lot of the daily decision-making, we can react with snap decisions, which don’t always serve us.
Practising meditation and listening to hypnotherapy recordings can empty your overall stress bucket. Making you more able to deal with the daily stresses we all face.
What hypnotherapy taught me about human behaviour
I’ve written posts on my blog about toddler emotions and gentle parenting:
However, I was surprised to learn that ALL humans can react quickly and sometimes with anger. The way our brain processes situations is largely automatic and it will often produce a default response to situations.
If your default response is outdated because you haven’t reprogrammed your unconscious in a while. Your behaviours in daily life might not be in line with how you want to respond to certain situations. This is a simplistic overview, the mechanics of the brain are much more complicated.
The initial relaxation element of hypnotherapy starts by dampening down the activity of the frontal cortex. Limiting the effectiveness of this area of the brain, central to attention, planning, and making decisions, increases activity in other areas engaged in filtering and integrating information. We become more open to information, more suggestible, and capable of creating more intense sensations in our minds (Thomson, 2019).
Completing training in the workplace and the fact I love to learn – meant I was already aware of the fight or flight reflex. But understanding it fully, helped me understand a lot about my struggles with anxiety. And the reason I reacted the way I did in certain, stressful life situations.
How hypnotherapy helped me become a better parent
Hypnotherapy alone cannot allow you to know everything about the emotional health of a child. And how to employ emotional intelligence when faced with tough situations. But it can open your mind to the science behind our behaviour. Essentially a child is unable to regulate their emotions and they need an adult to do this for them. Their outbursts, and meltdowns (however you refer to it) are nothing personal and they don’t have any control over them.
This allows me to understand that emotional meltdowns are simply a sign of communication – or a way to ask for help from the adult closest to you. If we think about times when we, as adults, have been so angry we cannot verbally put into words what is happening. Sometimes toddlers don’t have the words, but they express the emotion in other ways. To signal help is needed.
Discussions with our toddler
Hypnotherapy made me realise that toddlers and adults sometimes react without thinking. If we don’t understand something, our default response could be anger or frustration.
Whenever there is a disagreement in the house, or adults don’t agree on something, we use this as an example. To explain that in life, not everyone thinks the same. People will annoy each other, disagree, and argue. And that is completely okay. It’s what makes us all human.
Wonderful books about toddler emotions
I was recently struggling, to go further than this and say – mummy and daddy love you regardless of behaviour. Nothing changes our love for you. Then I came across this amazing book. See the TikTok video.
#duet with @iamsimplyysophie #istillloveyou I cannot tell you how much I love this book! 📖 As a Mum to a #toddler who struggles with certain things, it’s an important message! In the midst of #emotional#toddler#meltdowns & outbursts, it’s an important message for any child! One I was trying to verbally convey, before I first discovered the book! Now we sing the words to the book together & I tell my little girl, it’s how #mummy & #daddy feel about her ❤️ We now want to gift the #book to a #familyfriend & it will be sent from my little girl to her #schoolbestie 😥 Excuse me whilst I have a little cry. ❤️ Let’s all spread a message of #acceptance & #love PLEASE go & check out all the amazing books this creator has designed, to help children who struggle ❤️ #gentleparenting#mummycontentcreator#schoolrunmum#mummyconqueringanxiety
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