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I’ve talked about my love for The Body Shop on the blog before, and I’m here to tell you about it again.
From the nostalgia of buying animal shaped soaps and lip balms as a teenager. To now needing anti ageing remedies and high-quality make-up. Whatever your need, The Body Shop has something for you. They are a brand I’ve trusted throughout my life. I have never bought a product that I didn’t consider completely high quality. Not to mention their great company ethos!
Needless to say, I’m already smelling the raspberry body scrub and I’m getting my wishlist together. I am also currently on the website shopping for my wonderful mum, because she deserves something special.
Quick note: Some of the links contained on this page are affiliate links and if you go through them to make a purchase, I will earn a commission. I only recommend products I use myself and thinkwould be useful for you.
I am proud to be an affiliate for The Body Shop, because the reality is, I recommend them to everyone I know already. Therefore, I’m going to tell you about some of the special offers they have on at the moment.
Why I love Mother’s Day
I’m all for celebrating the mummies. We do a very difficult job, never moan and just get on with it. Women are the ultimate superheroes and therefore, Mother’s Day is one of my favourite occasions.
This post is dedicated to all the amazing mamas out there. Whatever your situation, I hope you have a brilliant mothers day. Let me know in the comments below what you have planned.
Self-care
If you follow my blog, you will also know I am all about self-care. These moments of indulgence and restoration helped me recover from a tough time last year. Therefore, I make it a priority to look after myself whenever I can. Self-care purchases are part of my routine now.
Let’s dive into the wonderful products on offer
The Body shop is currently offering the following:
FREE MOTHER’S DAY GIFT WHEN YOU SPEND £30*
Spend £30 and receive a free Mascara Gift Set (worth £15) featuring our Happy Go Lash Mascara and our Camomile Cleansing Butter – so you can nourish and love your lashes!
Use code 13025
Who doesn’t love a gift?? Or a cupboard full of products for self-care.
Check out this handy guide on mothers day gifting
Final thoughts
Are you ready to make your purchases?
Will you be buying a little gift for yourself? I sometimes, do! What self-care purchases do you have at home?
I would love to hear from you in the comments below.
BEFORE YOU GO
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GUEST POST – I want to say a huge thank you to Scholastica Madundo for this amazing guest post. I hope you enjoy reading.
It was during Ramadan that my mom showed me a video of a woman making a certain drink that helps with curing the flu. At that time COVID-19 was at its peak. Natural remedies to cure flu spread across the internet like wildfire. Some seemed safe but some were very questionable.
The ingredients used by the woman in the video fell in the safe category and my aunt – who sent the video to my mom, medically approved it. She’s a nurse. That seemed like enough validation to me and I said “let’s try it!”
None of us had the flu but the drink was a very good source of Vitamin C so we went all in.
The next morning, we woke up feeling like we spent the night in a spa. Like our bodies got massaged and pampered in our sleep. The grogginess of waking up early was completely absent and we were very active that day.
Photo credit – pexels.com
The results of the natural remedies we tried
It was also during the first wave that I noticed my mom massaging the soles of her feet with oil at night. She’d been doing it for a while. But it was the covid-19 season most of us noticed things that flew right past us.
It was around the same time I had heart palpitations whose source is unknown. They would not go away and they disrupted my sleep patterns. Sleeping was a struggle.
She told me it’s a trick she usually does to sleep better and I think she used it on us when we were little. She said if you massage the soles of your feet with the oil, dab a tiny amount of it on your lids and massage some of it on the front middle part of your hair, you’ll sleep like an angel.
Given my struggles during that time, I went all-in for that too.
The next morning, we woke up feeling like we spent the night in a spa. Like our bodies got massaged and pampered in our sleep. The grogginess of waking up early was completely absent and we were very active that day.
Never looking back
When we traced what changed in our routines, it was the super drink and mini oil treatment before bed. And since then, I’ve used those tricks to make me wake up feeling fresh. The rituals help me:
Wake up feeling enthusiastic about my day
Gets me active
Do more
Boosts my creativity
To do these sleeping hacks you’ll need the following:
Onion Juice
Coconut Oil
“But how does Onion Juice make me feel fresh in the morning?” – you ask.
The main ingredients for the Onion Juice are:
Red Onions
Lemon
Honey
Those ingredients all have vitamin C which boosts your immune defence system by supporting many cellular functions of your body’s adaptive immune systems.
828UrgentCare says – Because Vitamin C is an antioxidant, it can also fight free radicals in the body, thereby decreasing inflammation and boosting immunity. It can keep your skin healthy and enable it to act as a barrier against toxic compounds entering your body.
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Onion Juice Recipe that wakes you up feeling 10X younger
What you’ll need:
1 Cup of Clean water
Half a cup of sliced red onion
2 table spoons of honey
Half a lemon or 1 whole lime
STEPS
Pour the water on a cooking pot
Place it on the stove and turn it on
Wait until the water boils (when bubbles start forming)
Pour in sliced red onions
Let it boil until the onions color disappears
Let the water cool
Once cool, filter the onions from the water
Add 2 table spoons of honey
Add half a lemon or 1 whole lime
Mix and refrigerate for a couple of minutes if you like
Drink before you sleep. If you really have flu or you want to avoid getting tonsils, drink it without placing it in the fridge
You can store the leftover juice in the fridge. Maximum I’d advice is 24 hours.
COCONUT OIL
How can Coconut Oil make me sleep better?
Coconut oil has got to be the 1 type of oil that does so much. The list of benefits is endless.
It contains high amounts of lauric acid which has been linked with more restful sleep – says amerisleep.
It gets rid of tension and relaxes your nerves. – Herzindagi
How to Use Coconut Oil to Get Good Sleep
Massage the soles of your feet with coconut oil
As Herzindagi put it, massaging your whole foot will activate the acupuncture points in your feet. You’re going to sleep peacefully because your blood circulation has increased and your nerves are relaxed.
How to do it:
Before you sleep:
Rub and massage enough coconut oil on the soles of your feet.
And if you’re a fan of socks, wear them to bed.
It’s going to fasten the oil’s heat-up process so that it can be absorbed quickly and give you its benefits
Apply a tiny amount of coconut oil to your eyelids:
Two years ago, I tried looking for the science behind this but I didn’t find the answer. I only discovered an online forum dated 11 years back that had people from different countries share that they slept and woke up beautifully when they applied coconut oil to their eyelids. Unfortunately, I can’t find the webpage with that discussion but it worked for me and it might work for you too. Give it a try and share your experience in the comments.
How to do it:
Before sleeping –
Dab the tiniest amount of coconut oil on your eyelid and spread it so that the whole eyelid gets the coconut oil.
Emphasis on “tiniest amount” because your eyes will get irritated if coconut oil drips inside them. Even though it’s harmless, you won’t be comfortable for a few seconds. So make sure it’s a very tiny amount. Not a whole drop.
Once absorbed it will relax your eyes and make you sleep like a baby
Massage your scalp with coconut oil
The effect here is the same as on the feet.
BONUS: The more you massage your head, the more the blood flow increases which is said to stimulate hair growth. But it’s also good for relaxation and stress relief
How to do it:
Pour a few drops of coconut oil on the front middle part of your scalp
Using your fingertips, massage the coconut oil gently for a 5-10 seconds
Summary
Those are the 2 ways to improve your sleep and wake up feeling fresh
By drinking onion juice before sleeping
And by Massaging your feet, scalp and eyelids with coconut oil before getting on bed
Which one are you going to try first? Or are you going to try both immediately? Let’s chat in the comments.
FINAL THOUGHTS FROM ME
I hope you all enjoyed reading this post. I will be trying out these hacks and I welcome anything that gets me waking up feeling fresh.
Will you be trying them? Or do you have any of your own hacks you can share in the comments below?
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I talk a lot on this blog about adult mental health, but children’s mental health is equally as important.
Our situation
I haven’t talked much about this on the blog before, but I frequently post about our situation on social media to help others. Our little one is on a waiting list for an ADHD assessment. I attended some training with a local ADHD charity and one of the things they mentioned is that ADHD brains need 10 positive things, or sayings for every 1 negative event that occurs, or something they perceive as negative.
I am now always mindful that it’s more important for my child to have positivity around her. And I don’t just mean being happy all the time or positive for the sake of it. I mean targeted and meaningful exercises such as age-appropriate mindfulness videos and workbooks.
Check out the NSPCC website for more information on why they believe children’s mental health is so important.
Resources I have found particularly helpful
The journey our family is on might be something I decide to talk more about in future. For now, we are in the midst of the referral pathway journey and it’s difficult. I also feel like it isn’t my journey to share and that some things need to remain private.
Over the last 18 months, I’ve been in dark places, feeling alone on this journey. Because nobody else understands and the help that should be available, from doctors and the local authority is lacking.
I have therefore collated my own resources and I want to share them with you…
Read on for lots more resources to help your children look after their mental health…
Resources for Parents
I have collated some websites with great resources for parents. If your child is struggling or you want any information to pass on to friends and family, check out the links below.
As a mum, let alone any parent, it feels nearly impossible to have some time to yourself, right? Not only do you have the kids, but you have work, you have a household to run (including chores), you have to tend to your spouse, and let’s not forget your friends and family. It’s a lot, and it can be overwhelming.
Being a parent is one of the toughest jobs in the world and there’s no doubt about it that it can be insanely stressful to the point of a mental breakdown. But how can you destress and unwind? While there isn’t some perfect equation, these are some ideas to help you hold on just a little longer.
Everyone, no matter what age they are, will need to have some “me time”. This includes your little ones as well, as they need to learn to find themselves as entertainment. Maybe your time can happen during your children’s nap time, or when you put them in bed for the night.
Just try to give yourself at least 30 minutes of “me time” each day. Just do whatever you want, as long as it helps you feel better. Many mums and parents, they’ll nap, read, exercise, or watch shows. Give this to yourself, you’re human, you need it.
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Play with your children
Sounds odd, right? Well, depending on the age of your little ones, playing with them could be exactly what you need. Why not let them play with you, something that you love? For instance, you love to go out and do some gardening. For your child, they will consider this as a form of playtime. You get to spend time with them, they get to have fun, and you get to pretty up the garden, it’s a win! Other ideas can include puzzles or even playing video games together.
Give yourself a Spa Day
You don’t have to spend an arm and a leg just to go to a nice spa. Why not bring the whole spa day at home? This can include buying a plush Richard Haworth bathrobe and towel set. Why not play some relaxing music, take a long bath, and have some champagne? Even if you can’t afford a full spa day, at least give yourself an hour or two of being alone and enjoying the self-care you can give yourself. Even something as short as this can help your mentality out.
Look into other ways to de-stress
Being around friends can be one of the greatest ways to just really destress and unwind. So never neglect trying out this method. Usually, hanging out with friends can be a great way to have some of that “me-time” while still getting to interact with friends and keep those connections strong as well.
So, look into doing this, as this is a great way to give yourself the chance to let go. Never feel guilty for needing some time to destress, parenting is tough, and having little to no time to yourself can actually lead to burnout.
I started this blog in August 2021, because I felt compelled to share my story with other people. Going through challenging circumstances, naturally makes you assess how resilient you really are. I was in a dark place at the time, social media and talking about my experiences really helped me. And I knew it would help other people.
Talking about your experiences could make someone feel less alone. I am now accepting mental health guest posts. I would love to help other people get their message out there – to the people who need it most.
Let’s explore – Topics To Get You Started In Talking About Your Mental Health
Everyone has a unique experience
I hope other people never experience the darkness of anxiety or depression. However, the reality is, that we may all experience challenging circumstances in life. There will be times when our stress bucket fills up and there needs to be an outlet. A healthy amount of anxiety is a natural defence mechanism. And in small amounts, it can keep us safe. But it’s when the balance tips that the problems begin.
Talking helps
It is no secret that talking to other people can help with our mental health. There has been amazing research on the power of community groups and connecting with our peers.
One main lesson I’ve taken from starting my blogs is that we can speak out – to help other people. But we may never know about the great impact this has. We don’t need to know. The purpose of kindness and empathy is to give it out. Not to measure the effect you had on someone’s life. Just know – that by talking honestly about your own story, you may positively impact someone else. You could even quietly save a life.
Sam – Mummy Conquering Anxiety Blog
Let’s dive into the topics you could talk about, to start a conversation which may help other people
The symptoms of your mental illness
Everyone is different. And like all other ailments, both physical and mental problems impact individuals differently. Talking about the symptoms you face, could help you relate to other people out there. Whi might also be experiencing the same thing as you.
Every person is different and no mental health diagnosis will impact people in the same way. Writing about what you personally do to stay well, despite your struggles, could help inspire someone else to adopt well-being tools.
Your mental health goals & aspirations
Because my mental breakdown was triggered by pregnancy, work stress and becoming a new mother, all of these factors are something I personally worry about. Overcoming this adversity and worry has proved to be a massive hurdle for me. But worth the work.
Often great life goals can be borne from the toughest of life circumstances. Writing about how you formulated these goals can be liberating. And it will definitely help other people.
Want more Topics To Get You Started In Talking About Your Mental Health?
Your daily & weekly self-care routine
We should ALL have a self-care routine. Despite what society tells us, it’s important. We look after ourselves physically but often neglect the mental health we should preserve and nurture.
Sharing what you do daily or weekly, to look after your mind can inspire other people to look after theirs. Or adopt some of your routines, which could prove to be life-changing for them.
An example from my own life was persevering with a Hypnotherapy course. Agreeing to start it was completely out of my comfort zone and some days, I was simply too busy to set aside time for the Zoom calls. But it was worth it. And I am now well versed in meditation, so much so that a quick 5-minute meditation recording really helps.
Life changes you’ve made to help your mental health
It’s a fact of life that we sometimes need to make significant changes in order to help our health. In the same way that you would eat less sugar if you were diabetic. Or you would pursue a course of physiotherapy after a severe physical injury. Sometimes we have to make changes to our lives to protect our mental health.
Sharing some of the life changes you might have made, with other people, may help them to start putting changes in place. Or start to think about the possibility of doing so. There is power in this.
Final Thoughts
One main lesson I’ve taken from starting my blogs is that we can speak out – to help other people. But we may never know about the great impact this has. We don’t need to know. The purpose of kindness and empathy is to give it out. Not to measure the effect you had on someone’s life. Just know – that by talking honestly about your own story, you may positively impact someone else. You could even quietly save a life.
GUEST POST – Author Bio – Tips on living Live Your Best – Most Positive Life
Hello from me, my blog is GAWD, Generalised Anxiety and Worry Diaries.
On the surface, I’m your average forty-something mum, with two kids, a husband, and a dog. Giving off the impression that life is effortless. But scratch that surface and you’ll find that I’m harbouring a secret power, I am in fact – Super Anxious Brummie Mummy! It’s a title I take very seriously. I can spend hours agonising over the stupidest of things. I meal-plan weeks in advance, make endless lists, set thousands of reminders, and have online shops booked in for over a month. Super anxious mum has all bases covered, she’s got fingers in every anxiety-inducing pie.
GAWD is a place where I serve you up some regular ramblings from me and my bonkers, anxious brain. Some of it is not that easy to stomach, gawd no. Some bites could give the Norovirus a run for its money. Some of you will relate, some of you will laugh out loud, and I’m guessing that some of you will run for the hills. But that’s what it’s all about. Having those difficult conversations, in the hope that those affected, will reach out. I’m a mental health mentor and young person’s mental health advocate. I’m a MSc psychology grad, so I’ll throw in a teeny bit of science into the pot, to help us make sense of things.
Quick note: Some of the links contained on this page are affiliate links and if you go through them to make a purchase, I will earn a commission. I only recommend products I use myself and think would be useful for other people.
It’s getting dark by 4.30 pm, the mornings are gothic and misty. The long, hot, sunny days are fading into a distant memory. With winter firmly on the horizon, you’d be forgiven for losing that positive outlook on life. Winter blues are a real thing. Especially for anxious souls like me. Christmas is coming, the goose is getting fat. Please will someone put a nice big dose of positivity in my bobble hat? Isn’t that how the old rhyme goes? Well fear not, I have devised a clever strategy to help us all, even the seasonally affected folk, to start feeling that festive cheer and pack away that negative bleurgh.
Festive? Cheers…
At the time of writing this, I was dusting off the Halloween decorations, getting the sparklers out for bonfire night, and starting to think about the big ‘X’ (festive celebration, starts with X and ends with ‘mas). I don’t know about you, but it kind of feels like the moment that the children go back to school, after the summer holidays, life ramps up ten gears.
If only it was a slow burn into Autumn, revving up to Christmas. But oh no, it’s stress-o’clock from the get-go. It’s so busy, it’s like our fixed calendar celebrations and holidays are setting us up for a fail. Then January hits and it’s all quiet on the western front, with only the most depressing day of the year to look forward to.
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Tips on living Live Your Best – Most Positive Life – CONTINUED
Plus there’s life’s daily demands and those curve snowballs, for instance; navigating the freezing school run, endless amounts of laundry, wardrobe changeover, what to cook for dinner, and salads are officially out. (Not that my kids thought they were in.)
My LATEST gift guide – including fall home decor to bring in the season in style! & a few Christmas gifts
It doesn’t help that I gave birth to my children in the Autumn months. I mean, I should have really mapped out the old gestation calendar a bit better. I always say I’m not going mad, we’ll keep the kids’ parties simple. Cut to – headless chicken-style party planning with the end result resembling a Hollywood-esque style, grand affair. Sixteen party favours per bag, bubble teas being produced at a rate of knots, icing cupcakes until two in the morning. I do jest, I love making the kids happy. But I feel like anxiety adds pressure to my plate that’s kind of unhelpful. An inner push-me-pull-me scenario. Is this good enough? Am I good enough? Push, push, push and break.
Bee positive
So short of moving Halloween to January, or home-schooling the kids, (not gonna happen). I feel the need to post some guidelines on how to not lose your mind get through the busiest of seasons and most importantly stay on a positive tip. But what do I mean? You can say “bee positive” and all of those other lovely little phrases, but it’s hard when you’re faced with life’s trials to actually grasp what it means to be and more importantly, stay positive. Sometimes it feels so much easier to focus on the bad things in our lives, you know. Especially those who suffer from anxiety, spiralling in and out of negative thoughts. And the culprit? I present to you, cortisol. This little firecracker is a chemical in the brain which increases when we’re on a negative tip. It’s the body’s reaction to stress or a threat.
Walking risk assessments
Negative thoughts are essentially threats to our system. Being prone to negativity is not a new thing for humans. Many moons ago, being on guard and looking out for risks, with high levels of cortisol running through our veins, was essential for survival in an unsafe world. Now we live in a safe(ish) world. Unfortunately, it just so happens that anxiety disorders can make us feel like those poor old cavemen and women. Like we are in imminent danger, every second of every day.
Anxiety and negativity do have their positives, even in these modern times. Anxious, negative thinkers often catastrophize thoughts and think of the worst-case scenarios, thus avoiding potential drama. We’re able to spot where helpful changes could be made in our lives, so we make great leaders. Negativity could save a life, anxious people make great risk assessors. We’re also fab realists to have around. So make sure you keep us on your Christmas card list.
Life changer
There are times though, that negativity needs to take a back seat. To make way for positivity and raise those levels of dopamine and serotonin – the happy chemicals. It’s not just about being happy-go-lucky little cheeky chappies, it’s so much more than that. Those with optimistic outlooks are said to live healthier, more fruitful, and enjoyable lives. I think one study said that optimistic women live on average 4.4 years longer! 4.4 years folks! There is an indirect relationship between optimism and adopting a healthier lifestyle, thus extending time on this sweet planet. I’ve said it once, I’ll say it again. “Time is our most precious commodity.”
Happy little pictures
So how do we go about living our best positive lives? I decided that rather than grand red letter day-type positivity excursions. (They were all out of hot air balloon rides in Surrey.) I’d go about identifying the small everyday wins. I set about conducting a small-scale experiment. To post daily pics on my Instagram. account – Super Anxious Brummie Mummy! What better way to document the small wins than by the power of photography? There’s nothing like an uplifting or funny picture to lift the spirits. Plus those little hits of joy were exactly the bursts of dopamine and serotonin my body needed to counter the negativity.
Now I’m going to lie, it wasn’t easy. Some days I was racking my brain thinking, “What on Earth is a winner from today’s s**t show?” And worse than that, anxiety and cortisol were fighting against my small wins and trying to cloud them with negativity. Brain, why do you test me so?!? On other days, small wins smacked me right in the kisser. They took on exciting new forms, like, finding joy at the loo seat being clean and put down, or watching my dog, a most excellent, furry bullet squirrel chaser. I did some real soul-searching. This process, for me, has really proved that, where there is darkness, there’s also light. Yep, it was also National Poetry Week, I had a go at poetry. I liked it = small win.
FROM THE MCA BLOG – Books to help you on your positivity journey:
By confronting negativity head-on and finding the positive within a negative, I was adopting the ‘negative bounce’ method. Real bonafide psychologists have coined this fun term, (Tugade, 2004). Also, it turns out that I am not only countering negativity and becoming more positive. I’m building resilience to future negative events. Because guys, headliners – ‘life is full of these ups and downs.’
Tips on Living Live Your Best – Most Positive Life. Other top small wins and negative bounces:
Bee rescue, I saved a bee from a spiderweb. This is even after my unfortunate encounter in the summer, where one travelled up my trouser leg and stung me twice! Overcoming fears and wildlife rescue. I mean, it’s all there, right?
In future, when someone is asking me to “Bee positive ” I’ve a good mind to tell them to “buzz off!” I’m doing just fine without a winged stinger of a phrase to keep my chin up. I am, of course, joking, who doesn’t love a little positivity meme? I’m just trying to drum home that positivity is in the eye of the beholder. But do remember negativity has its place, it’s how we manage stressful situations and protect ourselves. It’s learning how best to bat those thoughts away when they become unhelpful, that’s the key
gawd blog founder
Not lost my stuff because a coffee pot lid had been left off, so when I went to use it it fell open and sprayed coffee everywhere. I laughed. That is a small win right there. (Big win for others in my house you might argue.)
FROM THE MCA BLOG – Want more money-saving tips – you can check out my money-saving hacks page:
Celebration that I can keep a plant alive, not just any old plant. My child’s bonsai tree is notoriously difficult to care for. Small win. I would move that to big wins, but let’s see if it’s still alive in a few months.
Capturing a very large spider in a glass and setting it free. I’m petrified of the hairy beasts. But the kids were fascinated and we had fun looking at its gorgeous fangs… We named him Derek Gordon. (8-year-old son’s choice.)
And do you know looking back and seeing all of those small wins documented, is an affirmation that I am ok. I’m happy with my lot. In future, when someone is asking me to “Bee positive ” I’ve a good mind to tell them to “buzz off!” I’m doing just fine without a winged stinger of a phrase to keep my chin up. I am, of course, joking, who doesn’t love a little positivity meme? I’m just trying to drum home that positivity is in the eye of the beholder. But do remember negativity has its place, it’s how we manage stressful situations and protect ourselves. It’s learning how best to bat those thoughts away when they become unhelpful, that’s the key. Right, back to Instagram.
TTFN.
A final word from MCA founder, Sam:
I hope you enjoyed reading this fab guest post – Tips on living Live Your Best – Most Positive Life
My mental breakdown happened in May 2021. A culmination of a difficult pregnancy, work stress, birth trauma, no self-care whatsoever, lack of sleep for a prolonged period and caring for a small child. I found the whole period overwhelming and there were not enough hours in a day to juggle the unmanageable load. The breaking point seemed to come when my workplace started adding too much pressure on everyone. Up until this point I was keeping my head above water, even though hindsight tells me it wasn’t a healthy way of living.
You have some pretty random thoughts when you’re in the midst of a mental breakdown and you cannot decipher fiction from reality. All the thoughts passing through your mind become your reality and you rely on the people closest to you to tell you which ones you should listen to.
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Everyone is entitled to their own opinion and I know some people are dubious about awareness days. I totally agree with the point that mental health should be spoken about every. single. day. However, I will use awareness days to talk about my own personal experience. If one person who wasn’t aware of my situation, learns something new, I am happy. For me, it is all about raising awareness. In the hope that one day in the future, these small actions will amount to huge systematic changes.
Today I want to talk to you about where I am with my mental health journey and how long it took to be well again
Full system reboot
In previous blog posts, I discussed the feeling of my brain switching off and it couldn’t be restarted again. Throughout the aftermath of my mental breakdown, I spent my days pretty much switched off completely. Sitting on the sofa for hours on end, watching TV, but not really paying attention to anything. There was no sense of time. Depression made my cheeks hurt. I never thought you could get a cheek ache from a sad face, but you can.
My friends and family were very adamant about the fact I should continue a “normal” routine. I hate that word, because what is normal? It has a different meaning for each individual and I think the word acts as an unattainable standard. This is true in my life, anyway, so I avoid using the word.
Battling with your own mind is a daily challenge
During this period of recovery, every action, movement, and the daily task was a challenge. I had to work myself up to get a bath. My hubby pretty much forced me to go on a long walk one day and it took every ounce of energy I had to get out of the house. I still look at these pictures and remember the pain and general numbness I felt.
During this period, I absolutely focused my energy on looking after my little one, on the days she didn’t attend nursery. But, sometimes I just didn’t have the resources and therefore a lot of it fell to my hubby and parents to help out.
She also knew something was wrong and would come and “look after” me. Young children have a sixth sense and they can pick up on emotions, even if you think you’re hiding them well. I still feel mum-guilt for taking time out for self-care, sometimes. Especially napping in the afternoon if I need to. I’ve come to realise there are precautions I need to take in order to maintain a good standard of mental well-being. And I will always be honest with my little one, about emotions and why self-care is needed. Parents cannot parent well if we don’t look after ourselves. It’s a constant battle.
Bringing me back to life
My family and friends surrounded me with love, but I was emotional, worn down, and temperamental. It would be months before I had my life back, my personality and gained a sense of identity again. Depression strips you of all these things. The system reboot is what it says on the tin. You are stripped back to factory settings. A blank canvas. And hitting rock bottom is a horrible experience. But there is hope. Things can get better. But I won’t lie and say it is easy. It is one of the hardest things I’ve done in my life.
The self-care routine that helped
During this period I was off work, and largely by myself, whilst everyone around me went about their daily lives. I spent my days having long baths, using all my trusted self-care products. My local park became my haven and I would sit on a particular bench, soaking up nature, thinking about life and watching the world go by. A world I wasn’t fully part of yet. In my mind, I was a bystander, invisible to everyone else.
My friends and family were very adamant about the fact I should continue a “normal” routine. I hate that word, because what is normal? It has a different meaning for each individual and I think the word acts as an unattainable standard. This is true in my life, anyway, so I avoid using the word.
I honestly never thought of the secondary impacts of being depressed. But there are so many. As the money organiser of the house, being switched off, reset, and rebooted isn’t exactly great for maintaining a household, or remembering to pay bills. I just didn’t care about organising life anymore. And it impacted our family.
I started baking to bring myself back to life and clinging onto anything I previously loved, to ignite a passion. To bring back a spark. But I still felt unhappy, and numb. I had affirmation cards and motivational quotes scattered around the house. These massively helped and I still use them to this day. I even visited the local spirit church, in the hope of finding some peace. It worked.
Toxic workplace culture
Reluctant to carry on as normal, when I was off work due to mental health problems, I was scared and filled with irrational fears. What if someone from work sees me? What would they think? Looking back, these thoughts were the negative anxiety voice in my head. And they were created from working in toxic workplace cultures for so long. Something I will never go back to!
Dichiperhing fiction and reality
My family were right. Normality, routine and self-care were all needed. A focus on my health, not the workplace which had basically sent me to this negative place in my mind. Why on earth did I still want to focus on them? But the mind does this. You have some pretty random thoughts when you’re in the midst of a mental breakdown and you cannot decipher fiction from reality. All the thoughts passing through your mind become your reality and you rely on the people closest to you to tell you which ones you should listen to.
What mental illness really looks like
I see a lot of debate on this. The answer – every single person will be impacted by mental illness differently. I hid my anxiety for years. therefore I looked fine. But I wasn’t. That said, I look back at the photos just after my mental breakdown and I remember how I felt. Going through them today actually makes me quite sad. I need to not dwell on them for too long.
The photos show bad skin, a blank look behind the eyes, and tiredness. Throughout my journey back to recovery, I sometimes compared these pictures with ones where I looked slightly happier. To me, it meant progress. When you’re in the midst of recovery, it is sometimes difficult to see any progress and look at the situation objectively.
There was an element of ‘putting on a brave face’ for my little one. But mostly, I accepted my situation and allowed myself to feel the pain and numbness. Something I had masked for so long was finally let out! In order to heal, you have to acknowledge your situation. And I had battled with anxiety for too long.
The journey back to life
I still have gripes about the NHS and the procedures in place to help someone who has suffered a mental breakdown. Looking back, the doctors didn’t really focus on support around me and my circumstances. I didn’t feel heard, or looked after. A doctor pretty much told me they cannot be responsible for me staying off work any longer and I would have to take it up with my workplace. A workplace they knew had put me in this situation and was not helping me during the period of time I was unwell. During telephone calls with the doctor, I was distressed, and emotional, asking for help. And I felt like a burden. They made me feel like I was being dishonest to get time off work.
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Systematic change in mental health care
It is important to say, I know NHS staff are overworked, unpaid and bound by ridiculous policies. However, they are also human beings. For anyone who watched the recent Panorama documentary, when did we stop caring for other human beings, just because we have a certain job title?
I am writing this post today because there is clearly a lot of work to be done around mental health awareness. A systematic change must happen.
I’ve accepted I will never be fully healed. We are all a work in progress and life will continue to throw us challenges. Our job is to work on how we respond to adversity.
Allowing adequate time for recovery
At the time of writing this post, it has taken me a total of 18 months to consider myself fully recovered from my mental breakdown. Our financial circumstances took a hit as a result. I was expected to return to work, by both the workplace and the NHS when I wasn’t ready or well enough to. Why aren’t we looking after people who find themselves in this position? Both in the respect of health and finances. If you had a broken leg, your sick note would be issued for longer, without question and I am sure you would be entitled to some sort of financial help. Arguably, fighting a battle with your mind is worse than a physical ailment. So why as a society do we treat people with mental illness so unfairly?
Finances and mental health
I honestly never thought of the secondary impacts of being depressed. But there are so many. As the money organiser of the house, being switched off, reset, and rebooted isn’t exactly great for maintaining a household, or remembering to pay bills. I just didn’t care about organising life anymore. And it impacted our family. If you or your family are impacted by similar issues, Mind has a great section on how mental health can impact finances and vice versa.
Where am I in my life now?
At this point, I finally feel somewhat recovered. My hypnotherapy course has provided the tools I need to move forward with a weekly self-care routine. It’s a way I can look after my mind and keep myself healthy. I’ve accepted I will never be fully healed. We are all a work in progress and life will continue to throw us challenges. Our job is to work on how we respond to adversity.
I also finally feel able to take on more hours at work and look to the future. But also keep in mind that my family life is a priority as well. This being the case, I am taking steps to plan our next five years as a family. We need slightly more money to set in motion everything we want to achieve. But I still want us both to have one day per week with my little one. And of course, a family day together.
Final thoughts
Ultimately, hitting rock bottom allows you to create a blank canvas. You start afresh with brand-new building blocks. And you have the power to change things in your life that no longer serve you.
It’s strange to say this, but hitting rock bottom has transformed my life. Would I choose this experience if I could go back? No! But am I thankful for it? Yes.
Anxiety is a form of stress. However, they are not the same. It is not uncommon for people who experience an extremely stressful situation to believe they have seen and survived anxiety. Dealing with high stress deserves all the respect in the world. But the main difference between anxiety and stress is that stress tends to have a tangible trigger, such as an urgent work project, for example.
Anxiety, on the other hand, has long forgotten its trigger. Someone who has gone through a disturbing experience that was stressful at the time could develop an anxiety disorder as a response, which means they could get anxious reminiscing about their previous experience, facing a new situation that shares common points with their experience, or even imagining what would happen if they were to go through the same thing again. Anxiety is the world where what-if questions live. Unfortunately, what ifs have no trigger. So, the typical advice to avoid triggers may not be useful at all.
How do you manage the what-if scenarios in day-to-day life?
Learn to know your mind
Controlling your mind is an impossible challenge. However, getting to know what makes you feel vulnerable and which mindset can influence your what-ifs could be a game-changer. That is precisely where keeping a journal can make a huge difference to your anxiety. Indeed, a journal allows you to play out some of the possible scenarios safely while reminding yourself of the positive things in your life. Listing the good and happy things in your life can help significantly. It is easy to lose yourself in the distress of a what-if narrative. But the positive aspects of your life can act as sanity lights that take you back to safety.
Besides, a journal can also let you track mood swings and habits, so you can identify times when you are more susceptible to anxiety.
Talk about it
What makes anxiety especially difficult to manage is social and emotional isolation. Anxiety can cut you off from your friend and family circle as you find it hard to express your thoughts and be heard. As such, what ifs drive loneliness? Being alone with your thoughts is never easy, especially when your thoughts get the best of you. Unfortunately, very few friends are mentally and emotionally astute about the stages of anxiety. But talking with someone who understands what you are going through and isn’t going to judge you for it can transform your experience. Expert psychologists at Three Seas have developed dedicated programmes to provide counselling and telehealth to their clients. Finding a therapist you can trust to manage and control what-if scenarios will offer the support you need to:
Free yourself from the spiralling anxiety trap
Learn to recognise dangerous thinking habits
Unlock your courage by voicing out your fears
Discuss potential techniques and coping mechanisms that could help in the future
Talk medication if needs be — why suffer alone when there are solutions out there?
What ifs are the enemy of an anxious mind. But, every enemy, ever the most fearsome ones, has weaknesses. What ifs lose their power when you can recognise them for what they are, name them, understand which habits grant them power, and ultimately remind yourself that they don’t control you. Is it easy? No, it never is. But, hopefully, these tips can help you feel less vulnerable to their soul-crushing darkness.
This gift guide featuring Sustainable Brands has been in the pipeline for a while now. As a family, we do our bit when it comes to recycling and saving electricity. We eat less meat and have downsized to one car. The next step for our family is to move to sustainable household products. And to cut down on buying single-use plastic.
Quick Note:This post features gifted items and affiliate links – if you click on a link to make a purchase, I will receive a small commission, at no additional cost to you
All the garments produced are certified by the Global Organic Textile Standard (GOTS) to ensure they meet strict environmental standards for the production of textiles. In addition, all clothes are made in a safe and clean environment by well-trained employees who have the right to trade union meetings, safety gear and social benefits.
My thoughts on the product
I was thrilled to be contacted by the brand and gifted this wonderful organic cotton dress for my little one to try. The material is such high quality and feels great against the skin. Not to mention the beautiful pattern. I chose this one because she is constantly talking about wanting to be a rainbow unicorn. So cute.
As you can see from the images, she loves wearing this item. I would purchase from this brand again, simply because the quality is great and the items of clothing will last a long time. I purposely ordered a thing which was a little bit too big on her, so hopefully, it will last her a few years.
WUKA
What makes the brand sustainable?
WUKA stands for Wake Up Kick Ass because we believe that nothing should hold you back on your period.
We believe that periods should not cost the earth. Equality and social and environmental responsibility are at the heart of everything we do.
We replace plastic-riddled disposable pads & tampons with the world’s most comfortable and sustainable period underwear.
Periods are not shameful, but something to be proud of. We’re determined to break down body and period taboos.
Eco-friendly products & business practices.
Less waste. From our packaging to our products.
Leak-free periods.
Super comfortable.
My thoughts on the product
I have wanted to work with WUKA for a while now. As a female, in my late 30’s, sustainable period products are a must. It’s the one pretty significant contribution I can make monthly. As far as Sustainable Brands go, this was one of the main retailers I have heard great things about.
The company sent me a sample to try and I must say, the quality of the product feels fantastic. I was apprehensive at first. As a working mum, who is mostly out of the house, there was a worry about freshness. With reusable products, you can dispose of any used items. And it makes you feel refreshed and less anxious when you are out in public. However, I would use this product on the days I am at home. And when it comes to sustainability, every little change we can make helps.
The mission at Earth & Wheat is to fight food waste, rescuing high-quality bakery, veg, and other ingredients which sing in your pan, whilst reducing food waste.
My thoughts on the product
This box has honestly been a real treat for our family and served us well over the last month. It’s taken lunchbox sandwiches from standard to a deli treat.
I froze the majority of the box because there was a lot to go around. And I was impressed when I didn’t get soggy bread following defrosting process. As you do with normal, shop-bought bread.
We plan to purchase this box on a subscription monthly. Then defrost the items as we need to use them.
Here is what we did with our items:
Wraps – for work lunches and yummy breakfast wraps on a weekend
Flatbread – we used this to accompany our chilli, on a rare child-free weekend night. And it took the meal from everyday standard – to something which felt a bit more special. For a small additional cost each month.
Soft panini – these are pre-sliced and so soft, I ate a few plain
Pitta bread – Great for dips, and eating as a snack
Crumpets – we love crumpets in our house and these did not disappoint
REFERRAL OFFER – sign up & get £3.00 off (I get £2.00 per referral)
FFS, yep you read that right! For F*ck sake! The 3 words that express our frustrations! It started with female razors being inferior to male razors, seriously WTF is that all about? We fixed that!
Now our mission is much more!
We want to banish single-use plastics from homes and we believe that planet-friendly purchasing should not cost the earth!
FFS now stands for much more.
My thoughts on the product
I’ve now tried the razor and the whole kit is fantastic.
Let’s start with the shower clip. It’s stayed in place, despite some hot baths & showers over the last few days. Sometimes the sticky pads on bathroom holders slip off. But this one doesn’t.
The razor itself is amazing, such a clean shave but no risk of cutting yourself, because of the protective strips. It’s by far the best razor I’ve had and I am about to subscribe to the blades. Not to mention, the amazing razor handle, which is engraved and personalised for you. All around, a fantastic kit and I cannot recommend this brand highly enough.
What do you get in your kit?
Reusable weighted handle (+ free engraving)
2x super sharp blades
Shower holder – to keep razor dry and protected
Handy Green Travel Pouch
Tweezers
Clamshell Blade Protector
DISCOUNT CODE
Discount Code:
Discount Code: MUMMYCA
15% off the first eco-friendly subscription box
Expiry: 30.04.2023
Terms: Offer expires 31.04.2023. (15% off applies to razor kits only. New customers only.)
Millions of bathroom products are thrown away every year and the sustainable and natural alternatives out there don’t cut it — until now. At Wild, we want to shake up the throwaway culture of bathroom products with high-performing products made from natural ingredients that never compromise on convenience or efficacy.
My thoughts on the product
I haven’t yet tried the deodorant, but there are mixed reviews online about how well this product works. As with all skincare & beauty brands, it depends completely upon the person using it. How your body reacts and what your skin is comfortable with.
The smell is amazing and I love the look of the dispenser. I would encourage anyone to give this a try and do their bit to help with sustainability.
Smol
What makes the brand sustainable?
We believe that each of us, every person, every customer, and every action, no matter how small, can contribute towards a better world. Our commitment to powerful performance with eco-friendly design, convenience and a great price makes more sustainable cleaning the effortless choice. Since its launch in 2018, customers switching to Smol have saved over 300 tonnes of plastic and more than 1000 tonnes of chemicals.
My thoughts on the product
I ordered the Smol samples, where you pay the delivery fee only. Simply because I have wanted to try the brand for a while. The dishwasher tablets and the kitchen spray were great. And I would reorder the kitchen spray tablets.
However, the non-bio laundry tablets have brought my little one out in a rash. I also read some online posts confirming this happened to other people. That said, I am aware that certain laundry liquids can react badly with sensitive skin. But for this reason, we wouldn’t be in a position to reorder the laundry liquids and I have passed them onto a family member for use.
I did just want to say, that when you are ordering the samples, for which you only pay the delivery, you need to be aware that you will automatically be put onto a subscription. And you need to go into your account and cancel if you don’t want the next batch. Which are charged at a higher cost. I thought the reorder would be sent too soon and it didn’t allow me any time to try the products first.
Unfortunately, Smol were not that sympathetic to the situation with my little girl. And despite complaining, a refund wasn’t forthcoming. Upon notification of the rash, I would have expected the refund to be made ASAP, regardless of a product being sent or returned.
Final thoughts
I am on the lookout for more sustainable brands. Whether that be buying second-hand or trying brands with a total focus on helping the environment. If you would like your brand reviewed, or you want to work with me on a collaboration, visit this page.
Let me know in the comments whether you’ve tried these brands before and what your thoughts are
I came across this book when visiting the Bradford Literature Festival. I saw Horatio speak about the book and why he wrote it. I was intrigued. I signed up for the session because I had experienced my own mental health struggles. And honestly, I am all for people with a prominent voice speaking out against the stigma surrounding mental health.
Let’s have a look at the blurb
A story of the wonder and intensity of the manic experience, as well as its peril and strangeness, it is shot through with the love, kindness, humour and care of those who deal with someone who becomes dangerously ill. Partly a tribute to those who looked after Horatio, from family and friends to strangers and professionals, and partly an investigation into how we understand and treat acute crises of mental health, Heavy Light’s beauty, power and compassion illuminate a fundamental part of human experience. It asks urgent questions about mental health that affect each and every one of us.
Based on my experiences and my awareness that people with privilege are often able to access better health services (this goes for all health services and not just mental health). I was dubious about reading an account of mental health struggles from a well-known journalist.
To clarify, I am thankful people with status speak out – it’s needed. And I would NEVER diminish someone else’s mental health struggles – because mental health problems do not discriminate. It can happen to anyone – it doesn’t matter how much money you have in the bank or how big your house is. But it DOES matter that people may receive fair treatment regardless of their circumstances.
Privilege addressed in the book
Horatio himself addresses privilege and talks honestly about his situation compared to people in other circumstances. The latter part of the book also discusses possible treatments and outcomes for mental illness, with some great suggestions for alternative therapies and up-and-coming strategies for addressing mental health.
Why I ended up loving the book
Although I was dubious at first, I ended up loving the book. So much that I stayed up way too late reading endless pages. Just to find out more about Haratio’s journey.
The main themes I loved the most:
Impact on family
The book explores the huge impact that Haratio’s erratic behaviour had on his family. And their worries about managing his mental health moving forward. This rings true for so many people out there. Ultimately, if you had a broken leg, the people closest to you would pick up the tasks you were unable to do. The same applies to mental health. When someone is unable to function, because of their mind, it’s usually family and friends who protect and look after you.
Discussions about mental health with children
Because I was mentally ill during pregnancy and with the pressure of becoming a new mother, it was inevitable that I would have to discuss this with my child. Although she’s young, we are always honest with her about things. And we always will be. Explaining that Mummy sometimes has things going on in her mind. Therefore, she needs a rest and some downtime. These discussions are something we do regularly.
I wrote previously about toddler emotions. Kids pick up intuitively on more than we realise. And they always seem to know when something is wrong or you need a hug. Don’t underestimate their understanding. And as a parent or carer, consider being honest about your struggles. And about emotions and life in general.
The science
The science behind mental health problems is something widely debated. And it has impacted the treatment I received from day one. For example, the doctor was understandably reluctant to prescribe anti-depressants. But when I actually looked into the studies behind taking them, the data was inconclusive.
There literally is no right answer to what impacts an individual’s mental health. Everyone is different and therefore impacted differently. The book explores this in great detail and provides a balanced argument for studies and therapies available.
Summary
I hope you enjoyed my review of the book. If you want to check it out, click the links below:
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