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Guest blog post: brought to you by Amber Louise of the Lady Boss Nomad blog
Some of the links contained on this page are affiliate links and if you go through them to make a purchase, I will earn a commission. I only recommend products I use myself and thinkwould be useful for you.
One of the greatest lies we tell ourselves is that we’re stuck in a rut. However, did you know it’s not only possible to change your situation but to also change yourself too?
The mind is a powerful thing. It can be our greatest ally or our biggest enemy. The key to reinventing yourself is to gain control over the mind and start living the life you want to live. One way you can do this is by keeping a journal.
Since my mid-teens, I have kept some form of a journal whether it be an art journal, a diary or a bullet journal. Now I keep a journal for creative brainstorming in both my business and personal life and I keep an A5 journal for all my mixed media art.
being 100% honest about your thoughts and feelings can be difficult to start with. You need to remember that your journal is a safe place. It’s a non-judgmental space which enables you to say exactly how you feel with no repercussions or judgements.
It’s a wonderful outlet especially for me as I suffer from GAD or Generalised Anxiety Disorder but, the high functioning kind which can easily go undetected by others. So you see it’s extremely important for me to have a creative and reflective outlet as a busy boss lady that runs her blog.
Here in this post, I want to share with you my best tips for creating a daily journal practice that can reduce your anxiety and stress. These are life-saving tips that can improve your whole mindset and is a form of self CBT Cognitive Behavioural Therapy technique.
Tip number 1: Choose the right journal for yourself
Ok, so this one may sound a little silly, but the journal you choose can have a significant impact on how effective it is. Your journal is supposed to inspire and motivate you to use it. So, if you don’t love it, you’re not going to feel very inspired.
Take your time to choose the right journal. Think about its design and how the pages are set out. Do you love it? Can you see yourself writing in it every day? It may sound a little ridiculous, but the right journal will pick you.
Tip number 2: Start by writing about the things you’re grateful for
Once you’ve got the right journal, figuring out how to start it can be pretty tough. So, if you’re struggling, start by writing a list of the things you’re grateful for. This can either be done first thing in the morning or last thing in the evening. There are advantages to doing it during both times, so it’s all about what works for you.
All too often, we spend most of our time focusing on the things we don’t have or the things we wish we had. This makes us forget about the positive things we do have. Journaling helps you to focus on the positive things in the here and now, rather than wasting time and energy wishing for something more.
So how can this help you to reinvent yourself? Well, the more positive you are, the easier you’ll find it to make a change. It’s often our negativity which sets us back in life so anything which makes us more positive can help us to reinvent ourselves.
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Tip number 3: Be absolutely honest in your journal
Journaling isn’t going to help you if you aren’t 100% honest. The trouble is, you may find you spend so much time hiding how you feel, that being 100% honest about your thoughts and feelings can be difficult to start with. You need to remember that your journal is a safe place. It’s a non-judgmental space which enables you to say exactly how you feel with no repercussions or judgements.
Once you’re honest about your thoughts and feelings and what you want from life, you’ll be able to see what you need to do to change.
Tip number 4: Write down your biggest goals
Use the journal to write down what it is you want to achieve. This can be done in the form of short term and long-term goals. It’s important to see the big picture. Where do you want to be in 3-5 years and how could you potentially get there?
Writing down your goals and identifying the steps you need to take to make a change, will help massively.
Tip number 5: Make it a daily routine if you can
It’s important to use your journal daily. Set up a daily routine where you write in your journal at a specific time. Once you’ve gotten used to writing in the journal, it will become an automatic habit you carry out each day.
As with anything, to reinvent yourself, you need to be persistent and committed. So, be sure to write in your journal every single day.
Summary
These are just 5 ways that you can reduce your anxiety daily through journaling practice. The more you do it, the more chances you’ll start to see – both in how you feel and how you act. I am 100% certain that a journal will help you to reduce your stress and anxiety if you make it part of your daily routine.
It can also improve your focus and generate creative brainstorming which is crucial for busy CEOs and boss ladies. Often I will use my journal to brainstorm blog post ideas or even a whole product launch. If you too a busy boss lady who has high functioning anxiety then definitely give this a try. Other ways you can use your journal are brainstorming recipes or jotting down positive affirmations. I just know you’ll love this practice as much as I do!
Amber Louise is the busy CEO and Founder of the Lady Boss Nomad. She inspires women with useful tips, resources, motivation & encouragement to help their digital businesses thrive. She helps female entrepreneurs launch a digital businesses. This service is for those who already have digital products but just need a robust platform or for newbies needing ideas on which digital products to sell, she goes through ebooks, eCourses, printable’s etc. She can offer guidance on the best tools and resources for digital businesses and blogs about product launching, marketing and sales page creation.
We used to visit the Magic Garden Play Cafe in Howarth when my little one could barely sit up. It was when I was first introduced to Little Learners. They held one of their classes there and it was a real lifeline for me during maternity leave.
Back then I was contending with low confidence and what I now know was postpartum anxiety. I couldn’t attend the classes without my hubby or mum to accompany me. That said, we made many lovely memories together. Whilst these struggles feel like a lifetime ago, it was strange being back in the building four years on. I even forgot which entrance we had to go through!
Disclaimer – this review was written following a paid-for visit to the event. I am in no way affiliated with the cafe nor have I been paid for this review
Parents & carers community
These days I love nothing more than chatting to other mums, at the soft play centre or activity we have lined up. We also see a lot of grandparents caring for young children. My mental health struggles have taught me that as parents and carers, we are all tired and exhausted. We largely face the same struggles and there is value in a quick conversation or giving someone directions to the toilet. It’s a great community of people and I now love being a part of it.
Just the other day we were in Wetherspoons and a lovely older couple went looking for me and my toddler. We had both gone to get a refill cup of tea and left our shopping bags. They thought we had left and forgotten our shopping. So lovely of them to worry about us.
Let’s dive into the practical information you need if you want to visit The Magic Garden Play Cafe
Booking the Elsa & Anna sing-along
When I saw the Elsa & Anna sing-along online, I immediately booked it. My four-year-old is obsessed with Elsa and we took the opportunity for her to dress up. I even let her have the Elsa microphone in the car.
The location
As we were driving up the hill in Howarth I was flooded with lovely memories of coming here with my grandma. We would visit the shops and it’s a place close to my heart. It was lovely explaining that to my little one.
Upon arrival
Upon arrival, we noticed many other Elsa dresses and Anna costumes in the car park. The remark I got from my four-year-old was “I will sing along with them“.
This is what classes like this are all about. Community and making friends.
The venue has around 15 tables and I’ve never struggled to get a seat in all the time I’ve been coming here. When you are alone with a child, it’s important you can get a table and have a base to store coats, bags and shoes. And more importantly, sit down! If I cannot be sure I will get a table at the venue we attend, I always intentionally pick a pre-bookable soft play – where you can secure your table.
Kids section
There is a gated section where classes and events take place. The gate is helpful if you have little ones trying to escape. There are lots of great classes which take place here and I have included some of the posters and links for you below.
The play area
This play area inspired my little one’s bedroom decor. The IKEA leaves were something we had to get her. And she commented today that her bedroom is also decorated the same way. I love the Scandi feel of the play area. And although we were here for an Elsa & Anna singalong, all my toddler wanted to do was take off her shoes and play in the soft play.
It’s still one of the most impressive play areas I’ve visited, despite reviewing a lot of them previously. You can book to just attend the soft play only.
The cafe
As parents, we all know the cafe is an important aspect. Being able to have that nice cup of tea and a bite to eat is a must. And now I have a four-year-old I can actually sit for 10 minutes at a time. Enjoying my cup of tea is bliss. Whilst she is off making friends and enjoying herself.
How was the food?
The cup of tea and bacon sandwich I ordered didn’t disappoint. The little one got a cute little frozen meal box with the price of the ticket. Which included a selection of sandwiches (who chose ham) crisps and a drink.
We also bought an Elsa bun, cos we all deserve a little treat.
Prices for play
You can view the prices for play and some of the upcoming events at the cafe. For a full list, check out the website.
Opening times
The cafe is open during these days & times:
* Monday to Thursday 9.30 am – 2.30 pm.
Parties
They also offer parties. All the details you need are here.
Summary
My intention is to enjoy the rest of the summer with my little one – when I can. Because childcare is so damn expensive, we will also keep the same family routine throughout the year. Meaning my toddler gets one weekday with each parent, during the school holidays. And the rest of the time I’m looking at sports clubs, which I know she will love.
My mental health struggles taught me a while ago, that a work-life balance was the only way I could mentally keep myself well. I’m also thankful I’ve managed to create the balance we need. And I plan on keeping it that way.
I will be booking more amazing activities – to create lifelong memories with my baby girl.
Toddlers can be frustrating at times, but I always try and put myself in their shoes. How much emotion would you feel if you had something to say but didn’t know the words yet? Bless them. Yes, it is tough to think like this when a toddler is testing your limits and pushing your boundaries. But as adults, I feel like we must. We are responsible adults and our brains are actually capable of processing emotions. Unlike the brain of a child.
Please note – before we get into this post, I should say, I acknowledge parenting is the hardest job in the world. I get angry and frustrated, just like any other parent. But in our household, we do make a conscious effort to resolve conflict situations differently with our little ones.
I am no expert on this subject, nor do I incorporate all the elements of gentle parenting. I am still very much on a learning journey. But I wanted to share our experience in order to help other people out there.
Accepting that all behaviour is communication and it is age appropriate for their developmental stage, really allows you to parent differently.
Let’s look at the science
I think once you get your head around the fact toddlers don’t actually possess the same brain capabilities and development as adults, you can start to take things less personally. My little one is quite intelligent and can be grown up when she wants to. My hubby, mentioned the other day that sometimes we expect too much of her because of this, and we must remember the below.
Though your 3-year-old is beginning to understand the emotions they are feeling, they still have very little control over them. If they find something funny, they’ll laugh hysterically. If something makes them feel sad or angry, they’ll burst into tears. If they feel something, they are likely to act on it. This may mean snatching a toy away from another child if they want to play with it, or getting upset when they want a snack after being told they have to wait until dinnertime. Delayed gratification means nothing to them – they want it and want it now. Three- and 4-year-old children may use hitting, biting, or pushing as a way to solve conflicts. They simply don’t understand the difference between appropriate and inappropriate interactions yet. It’s your job to teach your child that there are right and wrong ways to express emotions and resolve problems with others.
How powerful is reading this? Children may also laugh as a default when they don’t know what else to do. As a parent, it could seem like they are laughing at being told boundaries, or being sneaky. But this probably isn’t the case.
Accepting that all behaviour is communication and it is age appropriate for their developmental stage, really allows you to parent differently.
When you realise toddlers are simply finding their way through the world, how to respond and they simply don’t know the way yet. The adults around them can then act accordingly.
I won’t mince my words here. Given my own upbringing, at a different stage time, where harsh discipline was accepted, I thought the term “gentle parenting” was just parents not being firm enough with their toddlers. In the very early days of having a baby, I had visions of reasoning with a little person in the supermarket and losing control. Which in turn would mean I lost control of the situation.
Joining TikTok made me realise how we parent within our family, is actually gentle parenting. And following Kelly Medina Enoson TikTok has helped. I love how honest she is and following her journey makes me feel comfortable with what we are doing. More importantly, it will never be perfect.
What changed in our parenting style?
Before our little one was born, I thought I would be a much harsher, stricter parent than I actually am.
When your little one starts moving around, touching plugs and threatening to hurt themselves every minute, you need to have parenting conversations. And you won’t always agree. My hubby and I were brought up the same way. Pretty afraid of our parents at times – that look they would give, or raised voices indicated we should stop doing this.
But I just have a burning question to ask, do you get the best out of anyone, even adults when you raise your voice? As I get older, I realise the answer is no.
Collectively, we decided a while ago we wanted to avoid shouting around our little one (this isn’t always possible – please don’t think we or any other parent is perfect – there are still disagreements and sometimes raised voices).
If we do shout, snap, or get frustrated, we talk about it together, with our little one. We say sorry and move on. And we have taught this lesson so effectively, our little one will come and apologise to us if she does something she knows she shouldn’t. Granted, it may take a while for her to walk away and come back. But she always comes back, eventually. And we try to mirror this example between ourselves.
I really believe this technique is teaching her to resolve conflict herself and how she should appropriately do this. Also that no human being is perfect. If she does something and apologies when she doesn’t need to, we explain that even adults get things wrong sometimes and this isn’t something she needs to apologise for.
In order to calm a tantrum, we also do a breathing technique with her and one of us will take her out of the situation to calm down. I believe toddlers get very overwhelmed by their surroundings. This in itself could cause a meltdown. Hell, as an adult sometimes I get overwhelmed.
They need help not frustration
Just think for a second about any situation you have ever resolved by shouting. Or being confrontational, or getting frustrated. I bet it is very few. Why then, do we get frustrated with toddlers? Surely we should be actively helping them handle emotions, especially when they don’t fully understand what is happening to them. They don’t have the capability or brain power to regulate themselves and will probably wonder why adults are also becoming frustrated.
There are some other blog posts in the Gentle Parenting category – check them out here
Parents are a guide
It’s a heavy burden to carry, but as parents, we are responsible for guiding our little ones. Whether we like it or not, how they develop now will also greatly impact their future lives.
Why it matters
Positive experiences throughout childhood help to build healthy brains, while experiencing childhood trauma and abuse can harm a child’s brain development (Shonkoff et al, 2015). But our brains always have the potential to change and grow. It’s never too late to give a child or young person positive brain-building experiences.
I was dubious about releasing this post. Simply because of my feelings when I first heard the term ‘gentle parenting’. We still have a lot to learn and our parenting style will never be perfect. But hopefully, we are setting a foundation to provide our little one with the tools she will need to thrive in life.
Keep an eye on my parenting resources page and my TikTok to follow our gentle parenting journey. I plan to share with you any resources we are using.
Any advice is also welcome – let us know in the comments below.
It’s been four years since I had a mental breakdown and I’m now glad I can spot the signs of stressful period when things become too much. And, more importantly, actually do something about it before it spirals out of control too much. I never want to return to the position I was in when I had a mental breakdown. As such, it is now about damage control.
It’s no secret that I took a break from social media recently. But running this blog in my spare time is just one small part of my life. As with all working parents, we have a lot of other stress factors to deal with. And sometimes something tips the balance and it just becomes too much for us to handle.
When this happens, I face constant anxiety for a week or two. Get very run down, and become mentally and physically unwell. This then leads to depression and feelings of inadequacy.
It’s been four years since I had a mental breakdown and I’m now glad I can spot the signs of the stressful period when things become too much. And, more importantly, actually do something about it before it spirals out of control too much. I never want to return to the position I was in when I had a mental breakdown. As such, it is now about damage control.
The stress bucket
We all have a stress bucket and sometimes it can overflow. We live in a world which induces anxiety in the calmest of people. Therefore we have to be careful and look after our well-being. Hypnotherapy was one of the main therapies which helped me and I use it when my mental health takes a hit.
The mind needs maintenance – just like you would physically rest after a long walk or injury to your body. I also want to make it clear to everyone reading this post that dips in our mental well-being will occur. Life throws curveballs our way and sometimes, even just one factor of our lives, can cause all the other plates spinning to topple over. And it’s okay to feel that way. It’s okay, to be honest about how you’re feeling. And take the time you need to feel mentally well again.
Taking control of the situation can be difficult
When I am in the midst of anxiety, even the decision to do something about the way I am feeling whirls around in my mind constantly. Will people think I’m inadequate? Will they question me about the way I am feeling? Should I just sort myself out?
Some of this critical thinking comes from me being quite harsh on myself. Some of it is from traumatic past experiences.
Stress factors which can impact anyone
Stress in daily life
Childcare challenges
Money problems
Not allocating time for myself
Being too busy to relax
Communication problems in home life
Symptoms Of Anxiety taking over
Critical thinking
Thinking the past will repeat itself
Frantic thinking
Losing control of emotions
Lacking in motivation
Not wanting to put makeup on
Detached
Worn out emotionally
In desperate need of self-care
Remedies for becoming mentally well again
I know firsthand just how much strength it takes to motivate yourself when you feel unwell mentally. However, because I have a toddler, normal everyday life has to resume. I thrive on a routine and using my brain. As such, I don’t do well when I have to stop and rest.
My mental wellbeing routine also forms a structure and it takes me time to feel like myself again.
Honesty
I dealt with things differently this time. One of the main differences when things started to feel out of control, was my honesty with everyone around me. Once it was clear to me that things were getting worse and I couldn’t control it. It was time, to be fully honest. With myself, initially. But also everyone around me. Given my mental health history, my family are in tune with when I am not quite feeling myself.
I am proud of myself for finally being honest with everyone around me. Feeling comfortable talking about how I really feel, made the world of difference.
A lot of people struggle to open up about their mental health difficulties, for fear of being judged. Now I’ve created the work-life balance I need and I have supportive people around me, it was easier to open up.
Final thoughts
The mind needs maintenance – just like you would physically rest after a long walk or injury to your body. I also want to make it clear to everyone reading this post that dips in our mental well-being will occur. Life throws curveballs our way and sometimes, even just one factor of our lives, can cause all the other plates spinning to topple over. And it’s okay to feel that way. It’s okay, to be honest about how you’re feeling. And take the time you need to feel mentally well again.
Because I am excited by stories and books again, it was time to dedicate a space on my blog to all things books! Reading is currently helping me mentally. And I wanted to share this passion, in the hope, it might help other people out there.
You can check out Book Corner because it’s where you will hear about my latest book reviews, what I am currently excited about reading, and any stories that literally knocked my socks off.
Quick note: Some of the links contained on this page are affiliate links and if you go through them to make a purchase, I will earn a commission. I only recommend products I use myself and thinkwould be useful for you.
A much-needed break to help me mentally
If you follow me on Twitter, you will know I am taking a two-week break from blogging in September. Whilst writing and being creative is my passion, I have worked non-stop on this little passion project since July 2021. It’s time to refresh and return better than ever. Because I have so many exciting things in the pipeline.
Follow me on Goodreads to hear about my reading progress. Whilst I am not sure I will achieve my target for 2022, I hope to make some reading progress during my two-week blogging break. I can’t wait to get lost in these stories and restore my mental well-being.
I’m going all out & saying this is one of the best books I’ve ever read. The pace, the writing, is outstanding. I couldn’t wait to keep turning pages and it’s renewed my eagerness to get through my TBR list!
Absolutely amazing! Gripping right from the very beginning. Strong characters and the second half of the book had me constantly turning the pages. I loved the characters and got to know them all very well. Would love to see this as a fil…
Books transporting us to a new destination
I have been struggling recently, with physical illness, and being run down. This means I’ve taken a hit emotionally and mentally. I am finding that reading allows me to switch off and recover, which I am thankful for. I often read books to get transported to the destination the book is set in. Lately, I need something to bring me out of the fog and reading is helping me mentally.
Let’s dive into my current reading list
As any book lover will experience, there were many titles on my list to choose from. I managed to narrow it down into a manageable reading list. And put them in an order I was happy with.
Mental Health books currently helping me mentally
It is important to me, to read about mental health, as well as write about it on this blog.
I recently visited the Bradford Literature Festival recently and attend a talk by Horatio Clare, discussing Heavy Light. Reading about mental illness from the perspective of the person is something very interesting to me. As such, I am so eager to read this title. It just had to come top of the pile.
I haven’t finished this book yet. But I can say, it is so well written. And I relate to so much of the content. Whilst I haven’t experienced psychosis, I have experienced seeing a situation from a completely different perspective because of my anxiety and depression. During my pregnancy and stay in the hospital, my and my hubby’s accounts of what took place are so different. It’s like talking to people who were in hospitals at opposite ends of the country. Therefore, I can relate to some of what Horatio and his partner experienced. It is a helpful insight into mental illness, and the lack of support for individuals who are unwell. Also a heartbreaking insight into what their families go through.
“The words with which a breakdown is treated are all medicalised – illness, treatment, nurse, doctor, meds – but the mechanism of treatment belongs to retribution: incarnation, surveillance, behaviour monitoring, parole. For crimes against normality, we get a label and a chemical life sentence. I hate this mechanism. I refuse to believe in it.” ― Horatio Clare, Heavy Light: A Journey Through Madness, Mania and Healing
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The Power Of Letters
If you follow my blog, you will know a letter I wrote was published in an anthology. The proceeds of the book went to the Prince’s Trust and the letters are designed to give the youth of today hope that things can get better. I was honoured to be part of this project.
I can’t wait to read the other amazing letters featured. However, with how I have been feeling recently, I think waiting for a little would be better for me mentally.
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This was a recommendation I picked up and I am so excited to see what it is all about. I feel like this book will contribute to helping me mentally. And will also tie in with the work I am doing in my hypnotherapy course, which helps me to understand how the brain works.
More about the book – From Amazon
The Psychopath Inside, tells the fascinating story of Fallon’s reaction to the discovery that he has the brain of a psychopath. While researching serial murderers, he uncovered a distinct neurological pattern in their brain scans that helped explain their cold and violent behaviour. A few months later he learned that he was descended from a family with a long line of murderers which confirmed that Fallon’s own brain pattern wasn’t a fluke.
As a scientist convinced that humans are shaped by their genetics, Fallon set out to reconcile the truth about his brain with everything he knew about the mind, behaviour, and the influence of nature vs. nurture on our personalities. How could he, a successful scientist and a happy family man with no history of violence, be a psychopath? How much did his biology influence his behaviour? Was he capable of some of the gruesome atrocities perpetrated by the serial killers he had studied?
Combining his personal experience with scientific analysis, Fallon shares his journey and the discoveries that ultimately led him to understand that, despite everything, science can teach us, humans are even more complex than we can imagine.
I know this title is part of a series. But having read the reviews, I have decided to read this one as a stand-alone book. We all have different preferences when reading and personally, I want titles which have great reviews, otherwise, I simply won’t finish them. This book sounds like the best one in the series. Obviously, I can’t pass judgment until I’ve read it. Sign up to be alerted each time a blog post is released, and you can catch up with the review when I finish it.
Getting lost in a book is helping me mentally. I love nothing more than a thriller, or crime drama. Therefore, naturally, it is the type of book I love reading.
A bit more information (courtesy of Wob)
Dark secrets, a devastating mystery and the games people play: the gripping new novel from the bestselling author of The House We Grew Up In and The Third Wife.
You live on a picturesque communal garden square, an oasis in urban London where your children run free, in and out of other people’s houses.
You’ve known your neighbours for years and you trust them. Implicitly.
You think your children are safe.
But are they really?
Midsummer night: a thirteen-year-old girl is found unconscious in a dark corner of the garden square. What really happened to her? And who is responsible?
Utterly believable characters, a gripping story and a dark secret buried at its core: this is Lisa Jewell at her heart-stopping best.
I have decided to add this to my list, but whether I read it or not will be very much based on how I like the other one in the series. I realise it sounds a bit quirky to read the titles in this order, but I love doing things my own way and this feels right. If I like the first title, it will be like watching the series and then the prequel.
This is another title, which is technically a series, but can be treated as a stand-alone book. I can’t wait to read this one. I love high-quality writing. And the reviews suggest I won’t be disappointed with this one.
A Thousand Moons skips forward a few years from Days Without End and although it’s in effect a sequel, the novel stands alone, wasting no time with backstory as it launches into its typically rollicking tale.
Even when you come out of bloodshed and disaster in the end you have got to learn to live.
Winona is a young Lakota orphan adopted by former soldiers Thomas McNulty and John Cole. Living with Thomas and John on the farm they work in 1870s Tennessee, she is educated and loved, forging a life for herself beyond the violence and dispossession of her past. But the fragile harmony of her unlikely family unit, in the aftermath of the Civil War, is soon threatened by a further traumatic event, one which Winona struggles to confront, let alone understand.
Told in Sebastian Barry’s rare and masterly prose, A Thousand Moons is a powerful, moving study of one woman’s journey, her determination to write her own future, and the enduring human capacity for love. (courtesy of Amazon).
‘Nobody writes like, nobody takes lyrical risks like, nobody pushes the language, and the heart, and the two together, quite like Sebastian Barry does.’ ALI SMITH
My hubby has been nagging me for years to get the full Harry Potter series and read it. He is aware I love the description and imagination in a book, much more than in a film. Up to now, I have been reluctant. But I will be giving this a go and see what happens. And whether I then want to read the rest of the books. Stay tuned on the blog and also on Twitter.
Final thoughts
I have so many titles on my bookshelf and I intend to continue my reading journey, with another Goodreads challenge in 2023. Stay tuned to the blog, on Book Corner for more of my current reading lists.
My battle with perinatal anxiety & depression was a long and scary journey.
Throwing hormones into the mix, along with a history of managing anxiety-related issues and panic attacks, was probably always going to be a recipe for disaster. But pregnancy was the point in my life when I finally needed help. Of the medicated kind.
The factors at stake for me during pregnancy were not only the worries related to the actual pregnancy, but risks to my sanity, family, income-earning ability, and my job role.
let’s look at the definition of perinatal:
Perinatal mental health (PMH) problems are those which occur during pregnancy or in the first year following the birth of a child. Perinatal mental illness affects up to 27% of new and expectant mums and covers a wide range of conditions.
As a result of working full-time, I put a lot of additional pressure on myself. It’s fair to say I wasn’t exactly working for a business where having kids was fully supported. I think this is improving, but there is still a lot of work to do in the corporate world. Women shouldn’t have to choose between having children or succeeding in a career. Businesses need to ensure both options are achievable.
Although I know my mushy brain raised red flags at work, it was too early to announce the pregnancy. We were still within the three-month period, and to be honest I didn’t want anyone to know, because I thought it made me look weak.
Quick note: Mummy Conquering Anxiety is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program. Some of the links contained on this page are affiliate links and if you go through them to make a purchase, I will earn a commission. I only recommend products I use myself and think would be useful for other people.
Working full-time during pregnancy and having pre-existing anxiety issues was a lot to deal with. I hope telling my story will be of some benefit to you.
In this post, I will cover the following topics:
What is antenatal depression
My backstory
The pivotal moment I knew I needed help
Antidepressants
How I think mental health services for women during pregnancy could be improved
Why are women still afraid to speak out on mental health matters?
Techniques that helped me through
What the experience taught me
Mummy comes second
Often, we neglect our own mental health to be a mummy. Self-care comes bottom of the list and there aren’t enough hours in the day to complete every task on the never-ending list. I found out the hard way. You don’t realise you’re neglecting yourself until it’s too late. At this point, the damage is already done.
From my own experience, health services need to be more proactive in respect of pre-pregnancy mental health problems. There is a lot of information and help out there relating to postnatal mental health problems. But my experience didn’t fit into this category. It made me feel like this was supposed to happen to me after I had the baby, not now. Surely? Why was this happening now?
Looking back, the impact of this shameful thinking only made matters worse. I was afraid to speak out and visit the doctor, for fear someone would think I was an unfit mother. The anxiety talking in my head would tell me, you can’t look after yourself, how can you look after a baby?
I’ve also found these resources for anyone who needs to read more on the subject. You can filter by area and will see a range of therapists, charities, and support groups.
Please read on for the full story of my battle with antenatal depression…
My backstory
I was two months into the pregnancy when I started feeling the symptoms listed in this article:
I was at work full time, struggling with the office-environment heat. Eating properly was just not happening, due to a constant sicky feeling (I felt permanently sick throughout pregnancy but was never actually sick!). I was far away from the toilet and needed to pee every 20 minutes – you get the picture. I actually lost weight over the course of my pregnancy, due to not getting enough nutrients.
My hormones and worries made it incredibly difficult to concentrate on my work tasks and I became paranoid that I was unable to do my job. I was seeking reassurance from a management team, who were used to me just getting on with things, however difficult the task was. Although I know my mushy brain raised red flags at work, it was too early to announce the pregnancy. We were still within the three-month period. And to be honest I didn’t want anyone to know, because I thought it made me look weak.
We need our tribe
A mental health specialist once made the point, the people we refuse to tell during this three-month period are the very people we would need if something unforeseen was to happen. This has stuck with me, and it’s true. In the future, I probably wouldn’t open up in the workplace, unless I felt comfortable in doing so. But I would definitely let my friends and family in, sooner than I did before. They are the tribe you need around you, at such a testing time in life. It takes a village and all that jazz (it really does BTW – safety in numbers with toddlers, hehe).
The pivotal moment I knew I needed help
I tried to plod along for a bit. We had a holiday planned (pre-planned before pregnancy). And I remember spending every waking moment of the getaway fixating on work and the conversation I’d had with a manager before leaving. The manager in question was trying to gauge why I was being so mushy in the brain (baby brain is real people). I wasn’t really capable of communicating verbally at that point and therefore, it was all a bit of a mess.
The damage caused by keeping these feelings to yourself at such a vulnerable, unpredictable time in life, is colossal. Then going through possibly the worst trauma of your life and trying to look after a small baby who is totally relying on you. It’s a lot to cope with. And we should be able to open up about it without fear.
It’s fair to say my worries, and anxiety levels about being bad at my job, pretty much ruined my experience on holiday. As much as I told myself to put the thoughts out of my head, they would come back. Even trying to forget about the drama at work was exhausting.
Upon my return from holiday, I booked an appointment with the doctor. What I experienced during my appointment didn’t help me at all. They were reluctant to prescribe antidepressants during pregnancy and were unable to explain why. I was left to muddle through at work and I am sure you can all imagine, things worsened. My mental health was in serious decline and I didn’t know what to do.
Why it’s vital to reach out for help
The situation wouldn’t improve until I had the help I needed. My instinct told me this was the case, but I felt like the doctors were not listening to me. This resulted in me worrying and playing out situations in my head, which only fuelled the negative anxious thoughts I was already having. When you’re at your most vulnerable, you shouldn’t have to fight to access mental health services and the solutions you need.
I knew I needed medication at this point. Something to help me out of a black hole. So I could focus on growing a child and balancing the pressures of daily life.
Around this time, I also experienced very rude reception staff when trying to make appointments. I was speaking to them following a few hours of sleep, worrying all night and I just needed help. I ended up crying down the phone twice and I honestly don’t think they are adequately trained to deal with people experiencing mental health problems.
Complaining to the GP
I made a complaint and left the doctor’s surgery, following an incident where they asked me to visit reception. I nearly had a panic attack and was afraid to approach the reception desk due to the treatment I’d received previously. I didn’t need rude people dealing with my care, on top of my existing need for help and my current, very fragile mental state.
Talk about adding to my mum-guilt. Making an expectant mother feel like they are harming their unborn child, by seeking out medication to help both parties.
Mind.org provides a lot of useful information about taking anti-depressants during pregnancy. When I was in the midst of trying to convince a doctor to prescribe the medication I required (it’s ridiculous I even have to write this in a blog post), I wish someone had provided me with the information I needed to make my case.
The doctor’s viewpoint on medication during pregnancy
I was asked to go away and try other techniques to avoid medication and the doctor insinuated, had I been on medication before pregnancy, it would be fine to continue taking it. Talk about adding to my mum guilt. Making an expectant mother feel like they are harming their unborn child, by seeking out medication to help both parties.
Waiting in limbo for a solution
I personally spent two months in limbo, before finally receiving medication, which eventually helped. Including the adjustment period, I would estimate I spent five months of a nine-month pregnancy suffering, unnecessarily. Antidepressants take a while to start working, and initially, you have some pretty severe side effects. I was already walking around like a zombie and new medication didn’t help the situation.
Based on my experience, I know we need to change the system to avoid negative outcomes at a time in life where a woman should be happy and thriving.
I was desperately trying to find a solution to ease the pressure. My mental health issues impacted my well-being, my job, my relationship. In addition to the confidence, I had to be a good mother. Also, my ability to buy things for the baby and it made the whole experience pretty grim.
A difficult pregnancy
I look back on my pregnancy now and don’t remember having one good day. I probably did, but I was plagued with uncontrollable anxiety and depression. As well as trying to manage all other areas of life.
It’s definitely had a bearing on my decision to have another child. I have anxiety about what another pregnancy would be like. Would I be a mess again, unable to cope, or worse this time? Whilst also trying to care for a toddler. I also don’t have much faith I would get help from a doctor if I needed it. And I know a lot of other people who feel like this.
The research on taking antidepressants whilst pregnant
From conducting my own research, I was only able to find one study which mentioned the medication I was on. And how it could have an impact on an unborn baby. Surely, I thought, having a healthy mother is vitally important. Given the way I was dealt with by the doctor, I expected to find endless studies backing up the reluctance to prescribe the medication, but that just wasn’t the case.
How I think mental health services for women during pregnancy could be improved
Whilst in hospital Let’s just talk for a second about how calling anyone with anxiety issues, ‘difficult’, can be extremely damaging in itself. It made me feel like an inconvenience, like I wanted to go home straight away.
Unfortunately, the health service is understaffed, and staff do not have time to speak to you one on one and deal with your anxiety issues. Whilst the people caring for me were lovely, salt-of-the-earth people, who were clearly meant to be in this job. I still felt like a burden.
Traumatic experiences during my stay on the postnatal ward
I remember the morning after my C-section, with only basic over-the-counter medication, to deal with a major operation and a serious infection. Being called “difficult” for not wanting to sit up in bed until I had my painkillers. Let’s just talk for a second about how calling anyone with anxiety issues, “difficult”, can be extremely damaging in itself. It made me feel like an inconvenience. I wanted to go home straight away, but I couldn’t as I was under observation.
During my stay, I was in agony, and I kept receiving the pain medication at the incorrect times, which resulted in some nasty withdrawal symptoms from the whole, traumatic ordeal. Whilst I would only wish to thank the staff involved in my care (they do their absolute best every single day and you can see that). These circumstances resulted in my anxiety levels rising, in a situation and surroundings where there was nobody but my hubby to understand or support me.
The need for a birthing partner who knows you well
They even sent my hubby home, so there were periods when I didn’t have anyone to understand me. And I couldn’t get out of bed or look after myself!
Being in my head at the time, I was honestly afraid of how I would be judged in that situation. Would the nurse caring for her think I was an inadequate mother? Were they making notes about me and recording what was happening? Would I get a visit from social services? Because I was clearly unstable for thinking like this?
He was initially sent home during my labour period, at the pivotal moment when my pain was increasing and I felt like nobody was listening when I said that. Things progressed quickly in his absence and he was called back. However, the endless number of factors that worsened my anxiety during his absence had already made me defensive and less likely to open up. From this point, I felt trapped. And my anxiety spiralled.
The system, funding, and government intervention need to improve. It simply isn’t good enough to have a lack of care, over-tired staff, and possible negative outcomes. When you are dealing with the care of a new mother and child.
The pandemic worsening the situation
To send partners home when they are really the only ones looking after the expectant mother and taking time to understand their needs is unacceptable. The anxiety about mothers being left to fend for themselves only worsened during the pandemic. This Independent article goes into more detail. This Guardian article also touches on the issue.
Possible solutions?
I also don’t believe a one size fits all approach is sufficient when you are dealing with mental health. It would help to have mental health specialists visit patients in the antenatal ward. But it’s all about the lack of funding for services. And whilst some NHS trusts have this specialism, most still don’t. It’s also vital to allow birthing partners to stay with the expectant mother, especially when staff are too busy to care for their needs.
I am eternally grateful to the staff at our local hospital for ensuring our post-pregnancy outcome was as positive as possible given their resources. I am aware some of the issues discussed in this article can lead to negative outcomes for babies and parents. And my thoughts go out to anyone who is impacted.
Need help?
If you are impacted by any of the issues we have touched on in this article. Here are some charities that could help: Tommy’s or Bliss. They are fantastic charities doing a lot of work to help improve maternity services. I’ve also recently come across PaNDAS which specialise in postnatal Depression. Pregnant then screwed is a charity advocating for women’s rights at work.
Why are women STILL afraid to speak out on mental health matters?
The following quote is from a Glamour article and summarises how one woman felt about admitting there was a mental health issue during pregnancy:
“It’s comforting to know that I’m not the only one who feels ashamed. A woman I know recently told me that when she was pregnant, her mind was in a particularly dark place but she feared that telling someone she felt depressed could result in her baby being taken away when he was born. For months she resisted medication because she thought that being a medicated mom equaled being a bad parent. She has since started medication but is too ashamed to tell her in-laws, and she has gone from wanting multiple children to writing off any future pregnancies.”
Why is this still a problem in our society? And why isn’t someone helping pregnant women be honest and get the help they need? I do think mental health services have improved and are continuing in the right direction, but we still have a long way to go.
The quote above describes the way I felt and the way I was subsequently made to feel by a doctor. How many expectant mothers are turned away and then never have the confidence to ask for help again? As I am quite a strong person, I persisted and luckily got the help I needed. Doing this took every ounce of energy I had though. Just before getting the medication I needed, I booked 10 days holiday from work, because I just couldn’t carry on. I was even afraid to take sick leave because it would be questioned in respect of my pregnancy. I don’t know where I would be without the medication I started taking during pregnancy.
Adding a label to my experiences
It would have been beneficial for the doctor to mention or label, what I was experiencing could be a battle with antenatal depression. Nobody ever mentioned this term to me and it’s only now, looking back on the situation, that I know what it is. It has a name and I can talk about it now.
Is someone spying on me?
During my pre-pregnancy appointments and my stay on the ward (4 days), I remember feeling as though I was being watched. Checked up on, and questioned a lot. The obstetrician was obviously aware of my anxiety issues and I was overweight, which required additional check-up appointments.
Seeing through an anxiety lens
Maybe the staff weren’t acting any differently, just doing their job. The point is I felt like this throughout my care. Up to the point of discharge from the hospital post-pregnancy.
The damage caused by keeping these feelings to yourself at such a vulnerable, unpredictable time in life, is colossal. Then going through possibly the worst trauma of your life and trying to look after a small baby who is totally relying on you. It’s a lot to cope with. And we should be able to open up about it without fear.
My hubby describes me as being reluctant to visit our little pumpkin in the baby unit (she had to be monitored due to an infection). And he puts it down to my pain levels.
Being in my head at the time, I was honestly afraid of how I would be judged in that situation. Would the nurse caring for her think I was an inadequate mother? Were they making notes about me and recording what was happening? Would I get a visit from social services? Because I was clearly unstable for thinking like this?
Pressure to breastfeed
There is so much talk about breastfeeding whilst you’re there and you are made to feel inadequate, whether this is intentional or not. The surroundings also don’t help you get the rest you need: babies crying all night, women screaming in pain. Although I felt for all parties involved and could relate, it isn’t the best setting in which to recover from a major operation with out-of-control anxiety issues.
Techniques that helped me through
Stopping full-time work one month early
The pressure on expectant mothers from the workplace also has to stop! Slowly society is progressing in this area, but the progress isn’t quick enough for me or other poor mothers, who have additional guilt, added to the mixing pot of hormones, emotions, physically struggling, anxiety about life-changing circumstances, and the thought of being responsible for a new baby.
When it came to it, admitting I needed to stop working due to severe hip pain and mental health issues, really helped me. Although having to do this makes you feel inadequate. Nobody at work visited me, whether it be management or HR to ask how I was doing. The only sympathetic comments I got were from other expectant mothers. Who literally felt my pain in respect of lack of support.
Feeling isolated and lonely
It is isolating and lonely to feel like nobody understands how you feel. You’re so tired at that point. It’s too much to try and explain it to someone, who frankly doesn’t understand and doesn’t really want to. I stayed quiet for a lot of time and put my head down until I could finally finish work.
The day I finished work, I visited the doctor after not sleeping all night, feeling sick, and suffering from severe anxiety. And this was the route I took to stop working. It had to reach a breaking point before I could finally stop. They told me not to go back until after my maternity leave ended. The worry then became about limited time with my child. Was I wasting a month before the baby was here? Should I still be working?
Workplaces need to do better
I think workplaces and the government are also accountable for supporting women and making employees feel secure in having children and thriving at their jobs. You shouldn’t have to pick one or the other.
I am a huge fan of the shared paternity leave. The hubby & I have discussed doing it with a second child. Unfortunately, I don’t think enough people know about the option or want to take it up. Hopefully, this will change.
The pressure on expectant mothers from the workplace also has to stop! Slowly society is progressing in this area, but the progress isn’t quick enough for me or other poor mothers, who have additional guilt, added to the mixing pot of hormones, emotions, physically struggling, anxiety about life-changing circumstances, and the thought of being responsible for a new baby.
Self-care
During the month off work pre-pregnancy, I made time for self-care. Baths, naps, candles, chocolate, strawberry laces (even though they made me sick towards the end, with my limited stomach space). Anything that would lift my mood and make me feel a little better.
Although I was hesitant to finish work early, as I was only having 9 months at most with my little pumpkin. It was refreshing to have a month off before the baby came. I did all the things that made me feel better and stopped dragging my overloaded body to the train station every day. To a job where I didn’t feel supported. It was lovely to be out of the toxic environment.
The home was my haven
Nesting – we’ve all heard that term used. To describe a woman’s instinct to prepare for the impending arrival of a brand-new baby. I love this description from a Dad’s perspective.
My hubby was used to the nesting process (I’ve always been obsessed with cleaning). He’s the messy, unorganised one in the relationship and I’m the one who gets excited about new cleaning products. (standards have slipped though, now I have a toddler).
On the subject of men, I would also like to mention, this issue doesn’t just impact mothers. Men’s mental health can also be affected by pregnancy and the aftermath.
What the experience taught me
I have learned my lesson about prioritising the health of myself and my baby. Also, not caring about what other people think. Especially those who have no bearing on my life and the decisions I make. Ultimately you as an individual will know what’s best for you and you should push to receive the help you need. In the future, I would stick up for myself when it comes to doctors’ appointments and medication.
If and when we have another baby, I would do things differently this time. You don’t know what to expect when it’s your first pregnancy. You must experience it for yourself, in order to learn and grow.
Final thoughts
Everyone has their own way of coping with traumatic events and mine is blogging.
I can only relay my personal experience, feelings, and thoughts on this subject. I am aware there are a lot of additional factors and issues surrounding these sensitive subjects,
If you have been affected by any of these issues, let’s all speak out and raise awareness. That’s how change happens. Please feel free to get in touch, or leave a comment below. I would love to hear from you.
Life’s a wild ride, isn’t it? Some days, it’s like walking on a rainbow, while others feel more like a whirlwind of endless tasks that make you feel like you’re running a never-ending marathon. During those turbo-charged times, finding a smidge of calm can seem as difficult as finding a needle in a haystack. But let me let you in on a little secret: it’s exactly during these fast-paced times that mindfulness plays its trump card.
Each morning, before you leap into the day, spend a quiet moment setting an intention. It could be as straightforward as saying, “Today, I will keep my cool, no matter what.” Next up, it’s time to tackle your to-do list – but smartly. Highlight what needs your attention the most. You’ll be acting instead of reacting, and trust me, that feels so much better.
Breathe And Pause
Ever noticed how your breath is like your trusty sidekick? Always there, right when you need it. So in those intense, I-can’t-catch-a-breath moments, it’s time to get back to basics. Take a break, breathe in deeply, hold for a sec, and then breathe out. This nifty trick, also known as diaphragmatic breathing, is like your personal stress-busting superhero that you can call upon anytime you need.
Mindful Eating
Here’s a thought: when life turns into a whirlwind, meal times often feel like just another task. But what if we turned them into an opportunity to practice mindfulness? Next time you’re eating, really savour your food. Enjoy its colour, texture, and aroma. Take in all the flavours as you chew. Not only will you be more present, but your tummy and overall health will thank you too!
Mindful Chores
What if we could turn everyday tasks into mini-moments of mindfulness? Sounds intriguing, right? Be it folding laundry, washing dishes, or sweeping the floor, start focusing on what you’re doing and how it feels. Watch how these routine chores turn into peaceful pockets of mindfulness.
Harness The Power Of Music
Who doesn’t love a bit of background music, right? It can be a great buddy when practising mindfulness. Can’t find the right tracks? Why not explore torrent sites for music or check out mindfulness apps that offer chill playlists? You’ll be surprised how the right music can set the tone for your day.
Seek Solitude
Carving out a bit of ‘me-time’ can be a total game-changer in a busy day. Find a quiet spot at home or a peaceful corner in a park, or even just a cosy nook in your office. Spend 10-15 minutes there, soaking in your thoughts or maybe doing some journaling. It’s like finding an oasis of calm in a desert of busyness.
Guided Meditation
New to mindfulness? Guided meditations are like a helping hand, guiding you through the practice. There are tons of apps and online platforms that offer step-by-step sessions. Even just 5 minutes can help you relax and clear your mind. Give it a go, and you’ll see what I mean.
Connect With Nature
Ever spent a moment just soaking in the great outdoors? The sun on your face, the wind in your hair – it’s like nature’s own brand of mindfulness. Next time you’re feeling stressed, try spending a few minutes outside. Feel the breeze, listen to the birds, watch the clouds. You’ll be surprised at how grounded and peaceful you’ll feel.
Laugh It Off
We’ve all heard the saying, “Laughter is the best medicine,” and boy, is it true! A good chuckle can cut stress, boost your mood, and even improve your health. So when things get tough, find a reason to giggle. Share a joke, watch a funny clip, or play with your pet – because nothing brings you into the present moment quite like a good belly laugh.
Digital Detox
Let’s face it, we’re pretty much attached to our devices these days. But taking a digital detox – even if it’s just for an hour – can do wonders for your mindfulness practice. Switch off your devices and do something offline. Read a book, cook a meal, or just enjoy a hot drink. Your mind will thank you.
Progress, Not Perfection
Last but definitely not least, remember this: mindfulness isn’t about becoming a Zen master or having an empty mind. It’s about being aware of your thoughts and emotions, and gently bringing them back to the now. And sure, your mind will wander – that’s just part of the deal! But the key isn’t perfection; it’s progress.
So, even when the pace of life tries to sweep you off your feet, remember you’ve got the tools to stay grounded. Mindfulness isn’t a quick escape from life’s busyness, but a secret weapon to navigate it more effectively. So take a moment, breathe, and just be. It’s like discovering your own personal island of calm amidst the hustle and bustle of life.
According to the Word Health Organisation, approximately 16% of adults aged 60 and above suffer from a mental health disorder. In most cases, depression, anxiety disorders, dementia, and isolation are the most common issues. Caring for an elderly parent with mental health problems can be challenging and emotionally demanding, often requiring unique skills and support systems. Fortunately, the following tips can make the task easier.
Prepare yourself for the emotional aspect
Caring for an elderly parent is hard enough, but the difficulty level is higher when your ageing loved one has mental health issues. Of course, you love your parent, but other emotions can hinder you from providing the care they need. The most common things you may have to deal with r are worry, anger, frustration, and helplessness. All these are common; experiencing them does not make you a bad caregiver. Preparing yourself for these emotions can help you develop helpful ways to address them.
Monitor their movement
Available data shows that about 53,337 were detained under the Mental Health Act from 2001 to 2002. Older people also fall victim to such detentions when they have mental health issues. Don’t be surprised by how easily your elderly parent can slip out of the house and wander around. The last thing you want is to receive a call that they have been detained under the Mental Health Act.
So, always ensure you always have extra eyes on your ageing loved one. And in case of any detention, you can seek legal assistance, depending on where you live. For example, if you live in Sheffield, you can run an online search for ‘local solicitors Sheffield‘ to find legal experts near you. But make sure they have expertise in mental health cases.
Schedule regular medical visits
You’ll need all the professional help you can get, starting with regular medical visits. Your doctor will perform regular diagnoses and prescribe new treatments when necessary. You’ll also receive tips on how to care for your elderly parent and help them get better. Aside from visiting a doctor, work with therapists to help them learn how to cope with any underlying issues responsible for their poor mental health. You can also hire trained nurses or caregivers to provide home care and ease the burden of responsibility on your shoulders.
Educate yourself
It’s almost impossible to care for an ageing parent if you don’t know or understand what mental health challenges they’re dealing with. So, take the time to educate yourself about it. Understand its symptoms, triggers, and treatment options. This way, you can anticipate and address their unique needs. You can also contact support groups and find resources online.
Open, clear, and honest communication are crucial when caring for an ageing loved one with mental health issues. Speak calmly and do your best to ensure that you understand them and that they understand you. Also, encourage your parent to express their thoughts and feelings and actively listen without judging them. They might also need a safe and non-threatening environment, making them comfortable to open up or discuss their concerns. Being harsh, rude, disrespectful, or aggressive will only make your parents withdraw in fear and choose not to communicate.
I have a great guest post for you today. From Workingthedoors.co.uk.
I am happy to support any message about mental health, whatever industry that may be in. None of us are immune to the impact of mental health problems. And it’s all about raising awareness.
Whilst I am aware both men and women work in the security industry. It is a predominantly male-dominated occupation. And more importantly, we know men’s mental health isn’t talked about enough.
I hope this post helps anyone out there, who may be struggling mentally!
Introduction
It’s no surprise that working in the security industry can be demanding and at times dangerous. But few of us realize just how deep an impact it has on the mental health of those who take this job on, especially men.
Recent surveys have revealed a concerning level of depression among workers in this sector, as well as alarming trends in violence against employees. In this article, we will explore these issues and potential solutions to improve overall well-being in the security industry.
Violence in the Security Industry
A recent survey from WorkingtheDoors.co.uk found that 51% are verbally abused every time they work, with 98% of incidents occurring in nightclubs and bars.
Alongside this, 24% of workers also reported experiencing physical and verbal violence at least once a week. These statistics highlight the dangerous environment in which many people are required to work, and the toll it can take on their mental health.
A report from WorkingtheDoors.co.uk found that 57% say that an incident has affected their mental state more than 24 hours after the event, with almost half of those sympathizing that an incident has been severely traumatic. This highlights the serious mental health issues that can arise from this job, and the lack of access to resources to help with it.
Causes of Depression in the Security Industry
The causes of depression in security workers are complex, but there are a number of potential factors contributing to it.
These include long hours and low pay; lack of support from employers; poor working conditions and lack of job security; exposure to high levels of violence or trauma, and the stigma attached to talking about mental health issues.
Managing Depression in the Security Industry
Given the serious implications of depression for security workers, it’s important to look at ways to manage this issue and improve overall well-being in this sector. Employers can help by providing better working conditions, a secure job contract, and access to mental health services.
Additionally, having clear policies on anti-violence, training on how to respond when an incident occurs, and a supportive workplace culture can all help to reduce the risk of depression.
Ways to Combat Depression
Get more exercise
Exercising more can help to reduce the symptoms of depression, and it’s particularly important for security workers who may be struggling with long hours and stress. Taking regular breaks from work and getting at least 30 minutes of exercise a day can make a big difference.
Get more sleep
Lack of sleep can exacerbate depression and anxiety, so it’s important for security workers to make sure they get enough rest. This means making sure you have a relaxing bedtime routine, avoiding stimulants such as caffeine late at night and trying to stick to a consistent sleep pattern.
Seek professional help
It’s also important to seek professional help if you or someone you know is struggling with depression. Speak to your doctor or a mental health professional who can provide advice and support, as well as access to therapy and medication if necessary.
Identify your stressors
Depression can be triggered by a range of stressors, so it’s important to identify what these are in order to manage them. This could mean looking at the environment you work in and making changes to reduce your exposure to violence or trauma; challenging stigmas around mental health issues; taking steps to improve working conditions; or talking about your feelings with a friend or family member.
Conclusion
The security industry is an important but often overlooked sector and one in which workers face daily challenges to their mental health.
By acknowledging the issues of violence and depression among those in this field, employers can take steps to improve overall well-being by providing better working conditions, access to mental health services and a supportive workplace culture. With these measures in place, security workers can feel better equipped to manage their mental well-being and take steps towards a healthier future.
Anxiety is a form of stress. However, they are not the same. It is not uncommon for people who experience an extremely stressful situation to believe they have seen and survived anxiety. Dealing with high stress deserves all the respect in the world. But the main difference between anxiety and stress is that stress tends to have a tangible trigger, such as an urgent work project, for example.
Anxiety, on the other hand, has long forgotten its trigger. Someone who has gone through a disturbing experience that was stressful at the time could develop an anxiety disorder as a response, which means they could get anxious reminiscing about their previous experience, facing a new situation that shares common points with their experience, or even imagining what would happen if they were to go through the same thing again. Anxiety is the world where what-if questions live. Unfortunately, what ifs have no trigger. So, the typical advice to avoid triggers may not be useful at all.
How do you manage the what-if scenarios in day-to-day life?
Learn to know your mind
Controlling your mind is an impossible challenge. However, getting to know what makes you feel vulnerable and which mindset can influence your what-ifs could be a game-changer. That is precisely where keeping a journal can make a huge difference to your anxiety. Indeed, a journal allows you to play out some of the possible scenarios safely while reminding yourself of the positive things in your life. Listing the good and happy things in your life can help significantly. It is easy to lose yourself in the distress of a what-if narrative. But the positive aspects of your life can act as sanity lights that take you back to safety.
Besides, a journal can also let you track mood swings and habits, so you can identify times when you are more susceptible to anxiety.
Talk about it
What makes anxiety especially difficult to manage is social and emotional isolation. Anxiety can cut you off from your friend and family circle as you find it hard to express your thoughts and be heard. As such, what ifs drive loneliness? Being alone with your thoughts is never easy, especially when your thoughts get the best of you. Unfortunately, very few friends are mentally and emotionally astute about the stages of anxiety. But talking with someone who understands what you are going through and isn’t going to judge you for it can transform your experience. Expert psychologists at Three Seas have developed dedicated programmes to provide counselling and telehealth to their clients. Finding a therapist you can trust to manage and control what-if scenarios will offer the support you need to:
Free yourself from the spiralling anxiety trap
Learn to recognise dangerous thinking habits
Unlock your courage by voicing out your fears
Discuss potential techniques and coping mechanisms that could help in the future
Talk medication if needs be — why suffer alone when there are solutions out there?
What ifs are the enemy of an anxious mind. But, every enemy, ever the most fearsome ones, has weaknesses. What ifs lose their power when you can recognise them for what they are, name them, understand which habits grant them power, and ultimately remind yourself that they don’t control you. Is it easy? No, it never is. But, hopefully, these tips can help you feel less vulnerable to their soul-crushing darkness.
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