Mental Health

Blog posts relating to mental health subjects

10 Ways To Improve Your Mental Well-being In Winter

I don’t always want to put the work in to protect my mental health. Keeping on top of it sometimes becomes a chore and the rebellious side of my personality wants to give up. But I don’t! Whilst I have weeks where I am just not feeling it. If I don’t have time for self-care, I usually catch myself and urgently utilise some much-needed mental well-being techniques I have in my toolbox.

I would encourage anyone else out to keep maintaining a good standard of mental well-being. Especially during the winter months.

Why do we as humans know how to physically rest, but we have a problem with guilt when it comes to looking after our mental health?

Quick note: Some of the links contained on this page are affiliate links. If you go through an affiliate link to make a purchase, I will earn a commission. I only recommend products I use myself and think would be helpful for other people.

mental well-being

You might have already seen my TikTok where I talk about my current feelings. I can’t shake the feeling of wanting to hibernate until March 2023. I feel lower than usual and have to work harder than ever to keep my head above water.

I’ve written on the blog before about Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) and how this can have an impact on our mental health.

I already have anxiety problems, which can sometimes lead to low periods and depression.

As I said in the TikTok video, each year I forget just how bad I feel. Lack of vitamin D, limited natural light and horrible, cold weather can impact our bodies negatively. Which can lead to implications for our mental and emotional well-being.

Here are my tips for maintaining a good standard of mental well-being during the winter months, including some worksheets to help you…

@mummyconqueringan

As of last weekend, I definitely feel pretty low mentally. Especially when it’s dark all day & the rain won’t stop. At this point, I feel like it will rain until March 2023 & I just want to hide under the duvet until then. For anyone currently feeling the same, some helpful tips will be posted on the blog over the weekend. Hope it helps ❤️❤️❤️ #mentalhealth #mentalhealthmatters #mentalhealthawareness #sad #seasonaldepression

♬ Chill Vibes – Tollan Kim

1. MAKE time for self-care

I know it’s challenging to fit in time for self-care. And society still holds the opinion that resting and relaxing is wasting your time or pure laziness. This couldn’t be further from the truth!

Not looking after myself or getting enough sleep for a few months, led me to have a full mental breakdown. It then took me 18 months to fully recover.

If you’re a gym goer, you will understand rest days. Similarly, if you walk a lot for your job, you sit down at night and physically rest. Why do we as humans know how to physically rest, but we have a problem with guilt when it comes to looking after our mental health?

Make some time. Even five minutes can help you. I am now well-practised at meditation and can complete a hypnotherapy recording in five minutes. It may not seem like a lot of time, but it helps.

2. Plan in self-care time to avoid burnout

Felling low, and becoming irritable can creep up on us and we don’t always consciously know what’s happening. Allocating specific days and times for self-care can help.

I personally tell my hubby in advance that I will need childcare cover. To complete the hypnotherapy mediations, I then find a quiet room and some time to myself, without a toddler bothering me. I dedicate at least 90% of my time to her care, needs and spending time as a family. 20-30 minutes to refresh myself isn’t a lot to ask. And we shouldn’t feel guilty as parents when we need to ask for this time out.

3. Use some tools to assist you in your journey

Because of my history of mental health problems, I now have a toolkit on hand for my low moments. These are some of the things in there:

Meditation recordings saved to my phone

Mental health apps on my phone

Anxiety workbooks on the shelf next to where I work at home

Adult colouring books on my desk

I always stock up on bathtime self-care products

Candles, wax melts, burners

My light therapy box

Salt Lamp

Blankets, fluffy dressing gown

mental well-being
Some of the things which make me feel better

4. Talk to someone

In the mental health community, we all know talking to someone can be powerful. And it helps. In the aftermath of my mental breakdown, making connections with like-minded people, pulled me out of the fog and allowed me to move forward.

You might be reluctant to make social connections and I know the feeling of just wanting to hide away. But please talk to someone if you need to!

5. Change your routine

Stepping outside your comfort zone and doing something you wouldn’t normally do, can help break the depression cycle in your brain. For me, it became sitting in the local park, soaking in nature and literally putting myself back together.

Even walking a different way home from the park, during those dark moments in my mind, helped me. I felt very much like my brain wouldn’t reboot. But these different habits started to fill me with confidence and allowed me to think slightly differently. Gain a new perspective on life.

6. Do some exercise

Exercise alone won’t cure you of your mental struggles, but it will help you to feel better along the way. During those dark days, it can get you moving and out of the house. And slowly, you start to tackle other challenges.

Here are some other resources on the blog which may be helpful for you:

BLOG POST12 BOOKS & COURSES FOR MANAGING ANXIETY

In this post, I include some great books about managing anxiety, written by those with lived experience. There are also some great workbooks to manage stress, which I still use to this day!

RESOURCES PAGETOOLS FOR MANAGING ANXIETY

This page features a range of workbooks that I personally use. And a summary of all the mental health-related blogs I have written previously.

RESOURCES PAGEPARENTING RESOURCES

Parenting is a challenging time. Lack of sleep, a completely new routine and not having a clue how to look after a child, can all take a toll. I am actively adding to this page for any parents out there who may be struggling,

RESOURCES PAGETHE PERMA HYPNOTHERAPY SERIES

On this page, I share my journey of completing a Perma hypnotherapy course. And how it benefitted me massively. If it’s something you’ve considered, check out the blog posts.

DEDICATED PAGEBOOK CORNER

Because reading helps me mentally, it was only right to dedicate a page to all things books. I am now even reading stories from other writers about their own mental health journeys.

mental well-being

7. Take your vitamins

I must admit, I sometimes forget to take my vitamins for a few days and I usually don’t feel great when it happens. I now take a vitamin D supplement, which helps me throughout the year, but especially in winter.

Everyone is different and will need a different supplement to fuel their bodies. Get some advice, or look into what works best for you.

8. Get enough sleep

I know from experience, some people just cannot get enough sleep. For a new mother, it just isn’t possible. Prior to motherhood, I never slept well because I had thoughts whirling through my mind all the time. So I get it.

If you can, try and get 7-8 hours of sleep, or however much your body needs. This is the time when our body repairs itself and it is therefore vital to our well-being.

9. Positive thinking

For me personally, positive thinking is about having affirmation cards littered around my workspace. It is also doing meditation recordings which contain powerful, life-changing messages. Mostly, it is being aware that our thoughts can impact us positively or negatively. And trying to turn things around if I am not having a great time mentally.

affirmations

10. Be kind to yourself

The winter months can be harsh on both our minds and bodies. Do whatever it takes to be kind to yourself. Have an ice cream, and jump in bed for a nap. Spend time under the duvet. And don’t feel guilty for looking after yourself.

Final Thoughts

Every human being is different and will respond to these techniques and tools differently. I personally found that combining a range of these different strategies and tools, helped me become well enough to get through the dark days and then focus on mentally recovering.

Free download

I’ve created a self-care planner, where you can list all the areas you want to focus on. There are four sections, and each allows you to focus on a different area of your life. To bring an overall sense of well-being.

Other resources if you are struggling with your mental health

If you need someone to talk to about difficult feelings, The Samaritans are available 24/7. Call 116 121 for free any time. email jo@samaritans.org or visit some branches in person

MindInfoline0300 123 3393 – this helpline provides information and signposting. (open 9 am to 6 pm, Monday to Friday (except for bank holidays).

Anxiety UK – they have a helpline: 03444 775 774 Text support: 07537 416 905 (open Mon-Fri 09:30 am-5:30 pm)

The Stay Alive app is a pocket suicide prevention resource for the UK, packed full of useful information to help you stay safe

Shout –  If you would prefer not to talk but want some mental health support, you can text SHOUT to 85258Shout offers a confidential 24/7 text service providing support if you are in crisis and need immediate help

SANEline – If you’re experiencing a mental health problem or supporting someone else, you can call SANEline on 0300 304 7000 (4.30 pm–10.30 pm every day).

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Check out this fabulous self-care gift by Cotton & Grey

AD/AFF – PR samples

fabulous self-care gift

Are you looking for a fabulous self-care gift? Maybe you’re shopping for Easter, Mother’s Day or another occasion? Look no further! I have the perfect gift for those occasions, or if you simply want to send someone close to you some postbox TLC.

Opening the gift

I was so excited when I received the package in the post. The box was small and compact and if I received this as an unexpected gift, I would be so excited to open it and find out what was hiding inside. I love the idea of this gift, simply because it works. On my mental health blog, I talk about how vital self-care was when recovering from my breakdown last year. And how positive thinking does work.

Spoiler alert – discount code & giveaway at the end of this post!

fabulous self-care gift

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A little bit about Cotton & Grey

Our Twenty Minute Candles came about when we put together a small box of beeswax candles and handwritten affirmation cards for a close friend who was struggling in lockdown, to help her relax and restore her well-being… and she loved them!

We are now finalists in this year’s Gift of the Year.

Product description

Lose yourself for twenty minutes of restorative time by slowing down and living in the moment with our ‘Twenty Minute Candles’.

Pure beeswax, our candles burn cleanly with a gentle honey aroma aiding relaxation and mindfulness.

Why a gift like this can make a difference

Something as simple as lighting a candle would help me, following my breakdown. I’ve also adopted positive thinking and I am a huge fan of affirmation cards. Because telling ourselves positive things does work. Together with other factors which helped me recover, I now feel like a new person. As such, I place a huge value on items like this and spend some of our weekly budget buying self-care items.

A small gift like this can work wonders for someone struggling or brighten up their day. 

fabulous self-care gift

I know some of you reading this are part of the mental health community on Twitter. A kind, supportive group of people and I constantly see posts about giving gifts to other people in the community. This gift would be perfect to raise someone’s spirits during a difficult time.

Some of you are also busy parents and mummies in desperate need of some TLC. Based on the fact I don’t get much time these days for self-care, I was excited to try these products when my little one was at nursery. A quick, easy solution. To feel relaxed in the small windows of time I get to myself.

Sign up for my freebie library. Each week there will be a new freebie added to help organise your life and take away some stress!

Here’s what happened when I lit the candles

I combined these amazing, cute little candles with another self-care gift. I set the scene, had another read through my affirmations and said them out loud. In my current life situation, I need them. And I will be using them over the next few weeks when I hopefully have some big, exciting changes coming up in my life.

During the candle burning, I felt relaxed and restored.

Discount code

Cotton & grey have kindly provided a 5% discount code on any purchases

Just use code: mummyconqueringanxiety

Click on the button below to visit the shop:

Giveaway

There is also a giveaway for you to win one of these gifts:

a Rafflecopter giveaway

All the details on how to enter are below:

fabulous self-care gift

DETAILS FOR ENTERING:

To enter, you must follow Cotton & Grey on Twitter and also ensure you are following the MummyConqueringAnxiety blog. Bonus points for commenting on this post.

The giveaway will be running from 13 March – 21st March 2022.

GOOD LUCK!

Final thoughts

I hope you enjoyed reading about this gift.

Let me know what you think in the comments below – I would love to hear from you.

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fabulous self-care gift

An open letter to anyone who needs it right now

It’s a rubbish time in the world right now. Therefore I felt compelled to write something about it and share my feelings. This is for anyone who needs it right now.

So here goes!

Before we begin, I appreciate this won’t solve all your problems or make the world a better place. But it will possibly serve to let you know you are not alone in your feelings. Hopefully, by the end of the post, you will feel a little better.

This post won’t harp on about politics. The doom and gloom in the media is something I decided to ignore when my mental health was initially in serious crisis. Paying attention to headlines designed to increase your anxiety just isn’t for me anymore. I create this feeling in my head all by myself. These days, I am actively working hard not to allow negative thoughts into my brain. It’s exhausting. And with everything currently going on at this moment in time, I am struggling.

I will be honest and admit you can’t fully ignore current events. I see people on Twitter discussing the news. I still want to interact with my fellow bloggers and followers and I use the platform as a news filter. If I see a post, which is clearly about current affairs, I choose to either pay attention and follow it up, or not. Mostly not. What good does it do me to delve into issues I cannot control?

However shocking some people may find it, the time to speak out about how we feel is now. I want other people to understand the reality you face each day when you live with a mental illness.

anyone who needs it right now

Why I wanted to share how I am feeling?

When I started this blog, the purpose was to share my honest thoughts and feelings about living with a mental illness. However shocking some people may find it, the time to speak out about how we feel is now. I want other people to understand the reality you face each day when you live with a mental illness.

I’ve had a bumpy year. I dragged myself out of the depths of depression and the main factor causing me to feel this way still isn’t fully over yet. Even when it comes to an end, I will be thrown into a whole new way of life. Something I was previously excited about. At this moment in time, I am not excited about much and I just can’t shift the feeling.

Even a new haircut has got me feeling indifferent. Usually, it makes me feel like a new woman.

Download my self-care checklist

If you need a physical reminder, download my self care checklist below:

self care checklist
anyone who needs it right now

You can sign up for my freebie library here.

You are not alone

If you are feeling the same way right now, I wanted to let you know, you are not alone.

I thought this would be a great time to share some motivational quotes, to hopefully help us all feel better.

anyone who needs it right now
anyone who needs it right now
anyone who needs it right now

We will get through this. Together

For anyone who needs it right now, I am here to tell you it will be okay.

Because of my recent experiences with mental illness, I can assure you however you are feeling at this moment in time, it will change. And it can get better. There is hope, even if you feel like there is none right now.

The online blogging community supported me throughout a tough time. All I can tell you is I felt compelled to create a platform to share my experiences. What I didn’t expect or anticipate was the level of support I received. I will be eternally grateful for the kind words, motivation, and lovely comments on my blog.

Merry Christmas

Whatever you’re doing over the holiday period, I wish you the following.

Take what you need

Hope

Contentment

Happiness

Hugs

Love

Family time

Gifts

Indulgence

Friendship

Warmth

Reflection

Harmony

Time to recharge

Comfort

Kindness

Peace

Enjoyment

What you can expect from me in the New Year

I am not one for New Year’s resolutions. If you want to transform your life, I think you should do it right now! Not just in January of each calendar year. After hitting rock bottom, it prompted a change within me.

For January 2022, I have some hard-hitting, but honest mental health posts scheduled. I also have some amazing guest posts I can’t wait to share with you. And I will finally be free of the circumstances weighing me down (yes, you will get a blog post ALL about it!). I will also have time to regroup, assess my priorities and do what I love the most – BLOG.

anyone who needs it right now

Final thoughts

This is me signing off until after the Christmas period. I have blog posts scheduled and I will be checking in on social media.

Come and connect with me below

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anyone who needs it right now

A list of eight amazing healthy ways to mentally unwind

I am on a mission to find new and inventive ways I can focus my attention on a menial task and mentally unwind. I previously wrote about my love of playing phone games to help with my mental health. Well, I’m back again with more suggestions on how you can grab those moments and make use of your time, to quiet your mind. 

My motivation for writing this post comes from my need to look after myself for a little while. I had a tough year in 2021 and the factor weighing me down is now over. However, I still feel flat and worn out from my negative workplace experiences. It is time to prioritise myself for a while and indulge in self-care.

I now also take on board the point, you can’t be a great writer unless you read varied materials. And I want to become a great writer! Reading and writing are methods I’ve always used to mentally unwind and I intend to do more of this.

mentally unwind

READ ON FOR MY TIPS ON HOW TO USE SELF-CARE TO REDUCE STRESS

A quick face mask 

I have several face mask products that are easy to use. They give my skin a boost, but don’t take long to wash off or leave a mess afterward. Take time to replenish yourself, even if it’s just for five minutes.

This is my favourite way to mentally unwind, and I particularly love the sheet face masks, because they are so quick and easy to use.

Some shower products that bring calm 

As a Christmas present, someone bought me a Sanctuary Spa set and it includes some luxurious shower oil. If I am having a down day, I use the shower oil and it makes me feel revived again.

My family knows me well and they understand I need to mentally unwind.

A few pages of a book

If you follow the blog, you will know I struggle to fit in time to read books. For this reason, I have set up the Goodreads challenge for 2022. I now also take on board the point, you can’t be a great writer unless you read varied materials. And I want to become a great writer! Reading and writing are methods I’ve always used to mentally unwind and I intend to do more of this.

mentally unwind

Seek out more online games

You will all be aware, sometimes you get sick of the games you play on your phone. Because playing games helped my mental health, I must find one to keep my mind stimulated. Following my recent post, all about my love of phone games, it was time to find some more.

My search landed me here. From first logging onto the plays.org website, I was instantly impressed by the ethos and the story behind the creation of the website. Both my hubby and I grew up playing games. Suffice to say, we are both huge fans of games as a way to mentally unwind and take us away from the pressure of daily life for a while. 

What impresses me the most about the website is no advertising. Given my history with mental health, I can fall into addictive patterns. Games which ask me for more money as a way to unlock levels are dangerous. It would be easy for me to become obsessed and then disappointed, rather than feeling a sense of achievement. 

For anyone who wishes to play the games themselves, I have included a few screenshots for you below.

The games are easy to play. Logging into the website is quick and easy and you are instantly presented with colourful and clear instructions about how to proceed, as shown in the screenshots. 

I am particularly loving one of the new games, colorush. What I love about this game is you can pause it to set up the barriers. It stimulates your mind, trying to work out where the colour will go. I also got a burst of satisfaction at going it right, seeing the colour head towards the pot. 

mentally unwind

Super spice dash is the next game I found and I was honestly chuckling at the fact you’re playing with a popcorn chicken. It’s so cool. I opted to tilt my phone to steer, which meant the game was interactive. 

I then decided to play neon invaders. Homage to space invaders and just as fun to play. I think this will be a favourite of mine when I have five minutes to de-stress. 

Have a bubble bath

The perfect way to mentally unwind is a hot bubble bath. Radox is my best friend. After a day of running around after a toddler, a nice relaxing bath to melt away the aches and pains is the perfect solution. I regularly have a hot bath before bed, to unwind from the day and relax. I’ve just bought some Pukka nighttime herbal teas and they are amazing.

I like to have something to do whilst I am in the bath. I play games on my phone and also catch up with Twitter, especially if I haven’t got much done that day.

Buy some fresh flowers

My hubby used to buy tiger lilies for the house and they smell amazing. If I am feeling a bit down, I pick up a small bunch of flowers from the supermarket. I also love it when daffodils make an appearance. A small touch like this can help you feel a sense of calm.

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Sign up for my freebie library. Each week there will be a new freebie added to help organise your life and take away some stress!

Walk aimlessley

I mean, we all walk with a purpose don’t we? For a functional reason. We are getting from A to B. But to mentally unwind, try walking aimlessly. Just set off, with no limit on time and see where the journey takes you. Following my mental breakdown, I did this daily and it improved my outlook on life. This being the case, I know for a fact sitting in nature and getting some fresh air can do wonders for you.

Sit on a bench and watch the world go by

This is another thing I did daily following my breakdown to mentally unwind. If you follow me on Instagram, you may have seen some of my reels from the local park. It’s exactly where I sat last year. The difference now is I am not the same person. Yes, I will always suffer from high levels of anxiety and bouts of depression. I don’t expect it to ever disappear and I have fully accepted it won’t. But, I know how to manage it better now and my mindset has vastly changed from the person I was a year ago.

Final thoughts

I hope you enjoyed reading my run down of activities you can do to mentally unwind.

What do you do to mentally unwind? Is there a favorite activity you have when you’re limited to time?

I would love to hear from you in the comments below.

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How I plan to transform after years of being ruled by fear

#AD #GIFTED – The Anti-Burnout Club

being ruled by fear

The post is full of honesty. I feel like it’s time to be brutally honest about my mental health struggles…

Just imagine for a second, years of being ruled by fear. The reality is most of the people close to me are unaware of the extent to which fear previously ruled my life. I hid it well. 

Then my mental breakdown happened. A final meltdown, shutdown. I was in hysterics talking gibberish to my hubby on the phone. It felt like someone had switched me off to reboot the system. However, they couldn’t get me up and running again. 

It would be months before I was anything like the former person I was. Throughout the recovery process, I realised I didn’t want to be the same person ever again. I needed a new improved version of myself. Someone who wanted to prioritise mental health, above all other things in life.

And so it began. My brain turning everyday life situations into the worst thing in the world.

being ruled by fear

To clarify, I believe this family arguing was the beginning of me having an abnormal reaction to a normal situation. I believe to this day, my anxiety issues are related to brain chemistry and my personality. Not outside factors or the behaviour of others.

Years of being ruled by fear meant I was a shell of my former self. I was the organiser in the family, now I couldn’t stand to hear about the holidays we had planned. I previously managed money in the house. I was now ignoring letters and phone calls about our financial difficulties. I’d succeeded in my current career for 10 years and worked since I was 15 years old. I was shaking at the thought of opening my work laptop. 

My breakdown was literally an adverse reaction to everything I’d ever known in the past. 

I’m on the road to recovery now, but in order to understand what catastrophe took place on this average workday, we need to first go back in time to where I believe the decline in my mental health began. 

Triggers

Being ruled by fear began when I was 18 years old. arguing with my dad. The feelings of anxiety related to this incident triggered something in me. A knot in my stomach, a dislike of arguing. Feeling like I wasn’t good enough. I actually asked my mum at the time whether my dad hated me. That’s how I felt. Why would this person so close to me be shouting at me otherwise? And so it began. My brain turning everyday life situations into the worst thing in the world. 

I have a constant ‘it’s the end of the world’ complex. This makes it incredibly difficult to look at the positives aspects of life. I have to work so hard each day and force myself to think positively. My default setting is the worst-case scenario. There is no in-between.

Therapy

Throughout the years, I’ve tried numerous different forms of therapy and I must say, all have worked for that period in time. At this point in my life, I need an overall reset. To look at the bigger picture and put tools in place to avoid depression moving forward.

It was an EFT therapist who discovered this argument between my dad & me. It seemed to be the beginning of my decline in mental health. This was only discovered after several sessions and money spent on private therapy. It came as a shock to me this was a catalyst for the grim future I had in front of me. Living under the grip of toxic anxiety. 

To clarify, I believe this family arguing was the beginning of me having an abnormal reaction to a normal situation. I believe to this day, my anxiety issues are related to brain chemistry and my personality. Not outside factors or the behaviour of others.

Parents argue with children, especially teenagers, but my brain filters a normal, everyday situation and transforms it into something different.

If I had one wish it would be to let the people closest to me have a glimpse inside my head for two minutes. I don’t expect anyone to understand fully what living in fear for so long does to you, but understanding the severity of my anxiety issues, to some extent has already helped our family relationships. 

Delving deeper into the trigger

When looking back over my years of living in constant fear, despite what the EFT therapist discovered, I genuinely don’t think this was the factor that exasperated my condition.

Arguing with anyone was an uncomfortable situation that led to other uncomfortable situations in life, because of the way I reacted to those scenarios. And the destructive activities I was partaking in to quiet the negative voice in my head didn’t help things.  

Self-medicating

Fast forward to my early 20’s. I was out clubbing, with people I didn’t really class as friends, taking recreational drugs for the first time. Obviously, I had a blast (or thought I did!) and clearly switched off the doubting, self-critical, toxic voice in my head for a while – what wasn’t to love? 

I spent those partying days, outwardly having the best time of my life, but inside I was always accountable to my instincts. They told me this was wrong, unethical, not what I should be doing. I am a homely person who prefers a glass of wine on the sofa, with a blanket, reading a book. Partying and lack of sleep just wasn’t me at all. I was living a lie!

You can see how I ended up in a dead-end relationship with a narcissist for 7 years of my life, who was also the one who facilitated the partying, encouraged this destructive behaviour and I think was incapable of valuing anyone, even himself. Deep down, I knew I was in the wrong situation in life, but kept plodding along, mainly due to fear and lack of confidence. Who else would want me? What if I was walking away from the wrong person? In hindsight, I was so dependent on this person for adding value to my life, it would take a lot of energy I just didn’t have to walk away.

For years I’ve believed my family disliked me, disapproved of me, people were talking about me, spying on me, there is a conspiracy. For no other reason than a voice in my head told me this over again, until it became my reality. My family is the complete opposite of the picture I’ve described above. They are loving, supportive and I see them several times a week. How ironic, you have the most loving supportive family, but you believe otherwise!

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    Why did it take so long to walk away from the destruction?

    Due to years spent living in constant fear, it meant this became a way of life. You cannot change your behaviour overnight. Several pretty shocking events happened as a result of my destructive behaviour and one day I may talk about them. There are rebellious youngsters who make mistakes, but I would say some of the situations I put myself in were crossing a line. I learned my lesson and I am lucky to have the life I lead today. However, I probably would take back some of the things I did whilst my mind was altered.

    But we live and learn. As human beings, we make mistakes and some people believe this makes you stronger.

    Did I hide it well?

    My anxiety issues were obvious to me at, living in my own head. But my mum’s own recent admission, that she including everyone else would “never have known” it was this bad, made me think I need an Oscar. But did I hide it well?

    I did many abnormal things over the years, but they were clearly normal reactions to my circumstances and the situations I was putting myself in. I once broke down in front of a manager at work and was unable to talk for ages, after a fallout with the toxic boyfriend. This was just one of the out-of-control situations I put myself in.

    To this day, I think people just conclude I’m a difficult person to be around. If I had one wish it would be to let the people closest to me have a glimpse inside my head for two minutes. I don’t expect anyone to understand fully what living in fear for so long does to you, but understanding the severity of my anxiety issues, to some extent has already helped our family relationships. 

    being ruled by fear

    The person I was in the past shortchanged herself, undervalued her worth and it’s time for that to stop.

    Isn’t this how everyone feels?

    When you suffer from severe anxiety for so long, it becomes the norm. For years I genuinely believed everyone felt like this and it was a shock to me when I discovered everyone didn’t.

    For years I’ve believed my family disliked me, disapproved of me, people were talking about me, spying on me, there is a conspiracy. For no other reason than a voice in my head told me this over again, until it became my reality. My family is the complete opposite of the picture I’ve described above. They are loving, supportive and I see them several times a week. How ironic, you have the most loving supportive family, but you believe otherwise!

    When you are being ruled by fear, your thoughts tell you something completely different from reality. You can see why it can eventually result in a complete mental breakdown.

    Thoughts are just thoughts

    Part of me knows my thoughts are just that, thoughts. But it doesn’t help to tell myself this when I’m in the midst of a panic attack or bout of depression. Something which isn’t me takes over, another, darker side. I become the opposite of my personality. A shadow of the person I am. A weakened, frightened person.

    During my recovery, the most ridiculous thing I’ve dealt with is openly not regretting a single second of my anxious past. It sounds silly to say you would torture yourself in your own head for 15 years until you literally break into a million pieces and have to put yourself back together again. Camber out of the dark, dingy pit you were in and slowly learn to function again. Why would someone want to do that to themselves? The answer – because I wouldn’t be where I am today, hopefully helping other people.

    I figure it’s pointless going over the past, regretting the opportunities I didn’t take, and better spending time focusing on the future and being thankful for the lessons I’ve learned.

    Other posts you might like…

    What You Need in Your Home as You Get Older For Peace of Mind

    As we age and Get Older, our needs and capabilities change. To continue living independently and comfortably in your home,…

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    The Importance of Children’s Mental Health & Wellbeing

    I talk a lot on this blog about adult mental health, but children’s mental health is equally as important. Our…

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    How to Fight Off Anxiety

    Anxiety can have you in a grip if you’re not careful, and if you are dealing with the symptoms of…

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    Who am I today?

    The person I am today is a great mother, wife, daughter, sister, friend, work colleague, writer, blogger, content creator, and mental health advocate. My failures struggles and regrets made me the person I am today. Including the anxiety voice, I still carry around with me. 

    Because of my struggles over the last few years, I am confident in using all the labels above to describe myself. I am seeking opportunities that align with my personality and purpose in life. I am determined to carve out a path to a great work-life balance. I am me again. Whoever I was supposed to be before my brain started turning on me all those years ago.

    During my recovery process, I’ve had a hard time deciding where my personality ends and anxiety starts. But maybe the anxiety is a symptom of my personality. My personality traits involve being driven and determined. I guess this can easily lead to me putting pressure on myself to get things done. I’m highly creative, so I face burnout trying to record all the thoughts whizzing round in my head. 

    The person I was in the past shortchanged herself, undervalued her worth and it’s time for that to stop. 

    I have a new tool…

    If you’ve been following my blog, you know I am in the process of putting tools in place for managing my anxiety.

    You can find details below of another tool I will be using. I am recommending it because I think it can also help other people.

    being ruled by fear

    World Mental Health Day offer

    #AD #GIFTED

    I am excited to share with you a free 21-day membership offer for The Anti-Burnout Club app.

    The offer is valid for 24 hours from today. Please visit this dedicated page to sign up.

    The Anti-Burnout Club is giving everyone free access until the end of October, to help make self-care more accessible.

    Final thoughts

    I hope you liked my post. I would love to hear your thoughts in the comments below.

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being ruled by fear

    How I forgave myself for not seeing the light sooner

    Forgiveness is absolutely essential to recovery. In this post, I will explain how I forgave myself.

    Hindsight is a wonderful thing. It allows us to learn from the past, but it can also trick us into believing we should have done something to help our past selves sooner than we did. Even though I believe in fate, I believe someone is watching over me and guiding me through life, I still make comments to myself and others about how I let these dreadful things happen to me. 

    It takes serious hard work and possibly a life-changing event to fully realise the bad habits you’ve created in your life. You listened to anxiety and created your life around it, rather than replacing it with positive thoughts and taking control of your own life. It’s a pretty heavy discovery to make. You weren’t living to your full potential.

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      You don’t consciously think about it. You don’t have time to think with the negative anxiety thoughts going through your head every minute of every day. It’s too much to expect someone to transform their lives under these conditions. 

      How I forgave myself

      It’s important to clarify, I don’t actually believe in my rational brain that anyone can control toxic anxiety. It controls you. By toxic anxiety, I mean the type that rules your life and changes your behaviour. It takes serious hard work and possibly a life-changing event to fully realise the bad habits you’ve created in your life. You listened to anxiety and created your life around it, rather than replacing it with positive thoughts and taking control of your own life. It’s a pretty heavy discovery to make. You weren’t living to your full potential.

      BUT the point is, you had no control and probably a lack of awareness about what was happening to you. 

      Mental health issues like this often come with a whole host of other negative side feelings. Shame because you sit on the toilet crying at work, or crumble in meetings. Guilt because you push people away. Embarrassment because you took it out on the wrong person. The list goes on.

      Living in denial

      Before exploring how I forgave myself, we need to rewind time.

      I personally became so enthralled in hiding what was really going on, it was normal to me. I didn’t even really know I was hiding it. You don’t consciously think about it. You don’t have time to think with the negative anxiety thoughts going through your head every minute of every day. It’s too much to expect someone to transform their lives under these conditions. 

      The catalyst for me changing my way of life really was breaking point. I had a milder breaking point during pregnancy. Not that any of them are mild at all. I just took some annual leave from work and nobody knew. Hell, I didn’t even know it was called antenatal depression until recently. How can we change if we don’t understand what’s happening to us? 

      Other posts you might like…

      How I plan to transform after years of being ruled by fear

      #AD #GIFTED – The Anti-Burnout Club The post is full of honesty. I feel like it’s time to be brutally…

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      An open letter to my anxiety

      I originally wrote this open letter to my anxiety post with a guest post opportunity in mind. But, instead, I…

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      How relaxing our routine transformed our lives

      All right, who made up routines, and why were they imposed upon us?? Relaxing our routine was the best thing I…

      Read More..

      5 vital tools to prevent seasonal affective disorder during the cold months of the year

      Why I’m exploring tools to help prevent seasonal affective disorder It’s a proven fact our mental health can naturally suffer…

      Read More..

      What prompted me to change?

      It didn’t just take the breakdown, but it was also the added pressure of redundancy and being off on long-term sick from work for mental health. 

      Naturally, when this happens, you reevaluate and ask what got you to this point. How did I get here? What can I do to prevent this in future? It’s like I was forced to acknowledge my situation. But it involved me literally deciding the last 15 years hadn’t worked and I should try something new. 

      It isn’t even this simple. Amongst the darkness of getting over a breakdown, where you literally struggle to get out of bed. You can’t breath due to severe anxiety, or get yourself motivated. You inevitably start asking big questions your mind can’t really deal with. 

      Where am I in the recovery process now?

      For me, this process resulted in anger and I discuss my setbacks in this post and this post

      At this point, even during a phased return to work, I am still a work in progress and I am not fully healed. 

      Bearing all of this in mind, you can easily see how feelings about why you’ve let yourself suffer for so long creep into your mind. Maybe it’s a natural human instinct to do this. 

      How I forgave myself

      Why is forgiving yourself essential to recovery?

      It leads me to why forgiveness is absolutely essential to recovery. And how I forgave myself.

      I am not the person I was before, I feel a change. How can you be the same person you were before this life-changing event? Of course, you transform into something different. This is what trauma does to a human being.

      I’ve had two huge life changes in a short period of time, just after the pandemic: redundancy and a mental breakdown. But I’ve survived and you can too. 

      Forgiving your past self is one of the big steps in facilitating change.

      How to practice self-forgiveness and look after yourself

      This post has some really useful tips for self-forgiveness.

      I personally want to keep doing all of the following…

      Connecting with other people

      Whether it’s online, for the blog. Walking to nursery and saying good morning to someone, or going out with friends. Connecting with other human beings has been one of the most therapeutic things I’ve done since my breakdown. I intend to keep making connections. Other people can add perspective to our lives and make us realise our past lives weren’t actually all that bad.

      Talking about my experiences

      Starting the blog was one of the main things that got me through a difficult time. I can’t really put it into words, but I felt compelled to set up the blog. Like someone was sending me a sign I just couldn’t ignore. Like it was my purpose in life to help others. And every single day from now on, this is what I intend to do.

      It helps me to forgive my past self, because I am using the experiences I was once ashamed of to write. And these posts are helping others. How can I regret my past actions if this is the case?

      Realising what is important in life

      It sometimes takes a terrible experience. Maybe even years of getting it wrong, to realise the right way. I am thankful this horrible year has made me realise family is the most important thing and everything else I do in life should be centered around them.

      I can now create a life with a good work-life balance and remember to enjoy every moment I get with family and friends.

      Maybe it took my past experiences to get me to this place. Maybe I should be thankful to my past self, rather than believe forgiveness is required.

      Final thoughts

      I hope you liked this post on how I forgave myself.

      Let me know what you think in the comments below. I would love to hear from you.

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How I forgave myself

      You must check out this self-heating eye mask for relaxation

      PR samples / AFF

      Why I’m impressed by sensory retreats self-warming eye mask 

      Quick note: Some of the links contained on this page are affiliate links and if you go through them to make a purchase, I will earn a commission. I only recommend products I use myself and think would be useful for you.

      Okay, I’ve never come across a product like this before and therefore I wasn’t sure what to expect. 

      I was excited to be gifted a box of two eye masks to try. Simply because I’m a tired mama and I care immensely about my own wellbeing and the wellbeing of others. No matter what your situation in life, we all need a little self-care. Even if you struggle to find time, it’s important to make time. Recommended for 25 minutes, these masks fit perfectly with short snippets of relaxation.

      Each week I do have one child-free day, thanks to my parents. It’s usually filled with cleaning, catching up on my never-ending to-do list. Or food shopping. However, on this occasion, I relished the opportunity to make time for self-care and review this product. Thank you for providing me with some much-needed relaxation sensory retreats

      If you would like some relaxation – keep reading…

      relaxation

      So what did I think?

      Opening the box felt special. As you can see from the packaging, this would make a perfect self-care gift for someone special in your life. I couldn’t wait to try it and indulge in relaxation.

      If you’re struggling with what to buy for mother’s Day, this could be the perfect solution. 

      The fragrance 

      The masks I received had a faint rose smell. It was lovely, but not at all overpowering. Every now and then you got a whiff of it and felt more relaxed. 

      The mask itself 

      In the past, I’ve only ever used cooling eye masks. Therefore I was a bit apprehensive about the effect heat would have and also how these masks would self-heat. 

      The material is so light and breathable and the heat starts gradually, to a relaxing level. Think of an all-day heat pad on your back, but much more relaxing and fragrant.

      relaxation

      The experience 

      If you follow me on Instagram, you’ll know I love setting the mood. Following my mental breakdown, it’s important for me to have daily touches, like candles and diffusers. It really does lift my mood and make me feel better. Especially if I have a bad day. 

      When trying the masks, I lit candles, put on some yoga music on Spotify. And took the opportunity to do absolutely nothing. With a toddler running around the house, it’s rare to get these moments. And it was absolutely lush. 

      Discount code

      Sensory Retreats have kindly provided me with a discount code for purchase.

      Just use code UTITXAF8EO at the checkout.

      You can visit Sensory Retreats to make your purchase.

      Final thoughts 

      Let me know if you’ve come across these products before?

      Are you going to purchase some or treat a special lady in your life, for mother’s Day?

      I would love to hear from you in the comments. 


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relaxation

      BEFORE YOU GO

      Sign up for my monthly newsletter, to gain access to exclusive offers & updates.

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      Enter the giveaway to win an amazing self-care gift

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      relaxation

      My New Beginning Following A Mental Breakdown

      **Post updated – 14 July 2022**

      #MentalHealthAwarenessWeek

      #StressAwarenessMonth

      #MentalHealthAwarenessMonth

      In true Mummy Conquering Anxiety fashion, I wanted to post something real and honest for Mental Health Awareness Week this year! I want to remind you all, these posts are hard for me to write and probably, for you to hear. However, the topic is relevant and important. Creating my new beginning, in respect of my career, was the best thing I ever did. And I know other people are experiencing the same treatment at work.

      I second guess myself about whether I should publish these posts and therefore, this one has been in the pipeline for a while. However, now is the right time to release this post. Because my work situation is now vastly different. I am a different person, with a different outlook. BUT I will always be a mental health advocate.

      my new beginning

      The back story 

      Here goes. I wrote this post a while ago, as a means of getting through one of the most stressful times in my life. As it happens, changing my situation was also the most life-changing. 

      Following total burnout in my job, I suffered a complete mental breakdown. Cue falling to the floor, tears, not making any sense. Like someone switched off my brain. And it wouldn’t restart. At the time, I didn’t want it to. It was the lowest point of my life. I’d suffered from low points with my mental health in the past. High anxiety levels and depression were common in times of stress, but it was never this bad. 

      The culture must change. We can no longer pile an unreasonable amount of pressure on employees and expect them not to eventually burn out. 

      My personal experience

      The return to work – almost at my new beginning

      Following months’ off work and pressure to return, I went back into the workplace. And eagerly awaited a redundancy date. Having an end date in sight, kept me going.

      Ultimately, I was temporarily throwing myself back into a situation where miscommunication and downright rudeness in the workplace, had led me to a mental breakdown. Going back into that situation, for even a day, was going to be a mammoth task. Remember when I returned, I didn’t know how long I would stay in the role. And I don’t do very well with the unknown. It’s one of the biggest drivers of my anxiety. Knowing where I stand and having a routine helps keep it under control.

      My life is different and much happier, and I now have support in my new workplace. And I am thankful for the journey because it taught me so much about my mental strength in challenging times.

      Getting back into it

      Upon my return, I was left alone for the first month, with everyone telling me “we want to make sure you’re okay“, “bear in mind your mental health” and I knew it was bullshit. It was a line they had to say to appear supportive. That’s what some workplaces do. In this day and age, for some businesses, it’s all talk, no action. And I think it’s despicable. I would rather the business be honest and not have a mental health policy at all, rather than provide empty words on such an important topic.

      Jobless, ‘unemployed’ was soon going to be my label. All of a sudden I felt a lack of self-confidence. A lack of security. An urge to review my money situation and sort out bills that still needed paying, with one less income. But I still had not recovered fully and didn’t have the energy. A battle between wanting to prioritise myself for once, but lacking the motivation to do so. 

      I hope EVERYONE starts to place the same physical illness value on mental illness. Especially after we’ve all endured so much trauma lately. 

      Poor management

      Another factor in all my previous job roles, was a lack of knowledge at the top. Yes, managers are there to manage, not necessarily understand how to do your job. But if they don’t have a clue about the work the people they are supposed to be supporting do daily, what’s the point? How will they ever recognise the stress triggers of overworked staff? How do they even know what too much work is?

      From a human perspective, we should all be able to communicate appropriately with someone whos suffered a mental breakdown. But this takes training and awareness!

      I’ve written previously about how I witnessed rude, biased, and bullying behaviour in workplaces I was part of, and this spans my whole working life. Although I wouldn’t relive the pandemic if I had a choice, I do hope it’s brought significant changes to the office environment in the UK. The culture must change. We can no longer pile an unreasonable amount of pressure on employees and expect them not to eventually burn out. 

      Where it all went wrong

      My first anxiety-filled morning began a while after I returned to work. When you’re constantly having to justify yourself and the work you are completing, it is exhausting. This is what I was being asked to do on this occasion and given my mental health history, I think there was a better way of doing things.

      Sign up for my monthly newsletter, to gain access to exclusive offers & updates

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      My thoughts in hindsight

      Throughout all of this, I do have some grasp of the fact that employees in the department were under daily stress because of an impending redundancy and I take on board the fact this can impact a person’s behaviour. But it still doesn’t make poor behaviour towards staff correct. And it certainly doesn’t help my already fragile anxiety levels. From a human perspective, we should all be able to communicate appropriately with someone whos suffered a mental breakdown. But this takes training and awareness!

      The redundancy announcement 

      It is hurtful when you’ve invested so much time and energy into your career and it comes to an end in this way. My heart goes out to anyone whos been through or is currently going through a redundancy process.

      On the day I found out our redundancy date, I felt numb. I thought I would feel differently. It felt just like any other announcement. Following my mental health struggles, I couldn’t be bothered sorting out the admin and conversations involved in leaving. I wouldn’t feel satisfied until I had left the company and the redundancy money was in my bank.

      Jobless, ‘unemployed’ was soon going to be my label. All of a sudden I felt a lack of self-confidence. A lack of security. An urge to review my money situation and sort out bills that still needed paying, with one less income. But I still had not recovered fully and didn’t have the energy. A battle between wanting to prioritise myself for once, but lacking the motivation to do so. 

      10 days to go – the worst 10 days of my life

      10 days to go. Then I would be unemployed. Something I never anticipated I would be happy about. Finally, done and dusted with the workplace that I once loved, but then also caused me unreasonable amounts of stress.

      To deal with the anger, I started journaling my feelings. I thought, what’s the point in stressing about this when I had 10 days to go. But bear in mind, that I was now a different person. More protective of my mental health. I viewed life differently. It was great I had grown in confidence to change the situation that broke me. But I was still in the situation that broke me. And I was still facing the same daily battles that sent me to hell and back.

      Other posts you may like in the mental health category

      7 crucial steps I took to gradually recover from my breakdown

      Breathe Bracelets – 10 breaths bracelet

      Why I’m revealing my honest feelings about a setback in my recovery from a breakdown

      8 questions I’m asking myself in preparation for gratitude day

      The stark truth about my last anxiety-filled day and exactly what it felt like

      Why it’s vital to understand the workplace conditions which led to my breakdown

      5 vital tools to prevent seasonal affective disorder during the cold months of the year

      How relaxing our routine transformed our lives

      An open letter to my anxiety

      How I plan to transform after years of being ruled by fear

      Why I’m glad the negative aspects of office culture will be left behind

      Affirmation cards from Mål paper to help inspire and motivate

      Looking back 

      Maybe these heightened feelings are normal for anyone going through a redundancy process. It’s probably just part of the process and how your mind accepts the huge change which will be happening to you at any moment. A moment someone else chooses, usually based on money-making and not paying any attention to your life.

      The current employment situation in the UK

      I can tell you, from my recent experience of visiting the job centre, unstable job conditions have impacted a lot of people and the department is inundated. The knock-on effect of COVID, and greedy CEOs making reckless decisions, together with a failing economy, have created a recipe for disaster. And it’s set to get even worse!

      Yes, there are jobs out there, but the game has changed. I’m hoping the shift will eventually benefit office workers and companies to start to value mental health. I hope EVERYONE starts to place the same physical illness value on mental illness. Especially after we’ve all endured so much trauma lately. 

      my new beginning

      Download the mental health check-in sheet

      You may have questions

      Some of you might be asking why I went back to the workplace at all. Well, I wanted and deserved the redundancy payment. I also deserved to be treated like a human being. Bear in mind, that I am an advocate for mental well-being and society ditching the stigma those with mental illnesses suffer. I couldn’t just let this situation slide, without showing up and standing up for myself. In turn, I felt like I was also standing up for other people.

      I considered raising concerns, then I weighed this up against the mental exhaustion this would exert and the potential of really gaining anything. In the end, I cut my losses and decided to start putting my energy into my new life. 

      Work should be a complementary part of our lives, not the thing that makes it unliveable

      Huffington Post
      my new beginning

      How my experience applies to all workplaces

      Mental health training in the workplace

      TO clarify, I’m all for mental health training in the workplace. But it has to be great training, run by people who’ve experienced dealing with a mental health crisis first hand. It can’t just be another set of standard lines companies use to protect themselves.

      Trusted training resources

      Mind conducts workplace training and I would trust them as a great resource. It’s also great to see the training by Rethink Mental Illness had input from people with lived experience. There are also other smaller companies running mental health training and there is value out there.

      Workplaces – please create a different process for mental health absences

      Another significant issue that made me feel like my mental illness wasn’t valid, was the return to work process. Workplaces need to create different policies for mental health circumstances. As they would do a terminal illness or a bereavement. Any other unusual situation, which doesn’t fit into the category of physical health.

      My hope for HR departments in the future

      Whilst I don’t have personal experience of it, I hope other employers are already doing the great things I’ve suggested. I hope this blog post doesn’t need to be read by most companies, but my own experience was just a stand-alone negative one. In conducting some research for this post I found this promising article about HR awards won by a building society. I wish all businesses would adopt this approach.

      It’s also important for HR to check the company ethos is being implemented in all departments. And ensure there isn’t a disconnect between individual departments.

      The main point

      My life is different and much happier, and I now have support in my new workplace. And I am thankful for the journey because it taught me so much about my mental strength in challenging times.

      Worrying statistics

      The statistics for mental health-related absences in the UK look grim. And some of the research was conducted pre-pandemic. Arguably, we are in a worse position currently. Worst still, people are sometimes dismissed as a result of their mental health struggles.

      How can we continue to accept this treatment?

      my new beginning

      One final note about burnout

      Whilst I am still trying to make sense of what happened to me, I faced complete burnout as a result of overdoing it. I want to take this opportunity to tell all my readers this is not the way you have to live. Yes, we all need money. Both I and my hubby have to work to pay bills and live, but it is possible to balance this with looking after your mental health.

      My wish for the future is that employers become the ones who prioritise this on behalf of their employees. And they avoid creating a culture where people feel they need to do more for the same money. Employ more staff, reduce the workload, and spend money to ease pressure on your staff!

      Will you ever recover from burnout? I have. Granted, I am not the same person I was before. I now take less rubbish and I know, my boundaries. I won’t ever allow a repeat of this situation.

      Final thoughts

      This is my journal of a tough time in my life. In keeping with the theme of this blog, I wanted to share this with you because I want to help other people in the same situation. I want other people to realise they are not alone. Thankfully, I have recently started a new chapter in my career and I am in a better place.

      Let time know what you think of the post in the comments below. I would love to hear from you.

      Because this is such an emotive issue for me, it would be great to hear from anyone who can relate. Your comments are much appreciated and it helps me and other people know we are not alone in our struggles.

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my new beginning

      How to Reduce Anxiety Through A Daily Journal Practice 

      Guest blog post: brought to you by Amber Louise of the Lady Boss Nomad blog

      daily journal practice

      Some of the links contained on this page are affiliate links and if you go through them to make a purchase, I will earn a commission. I only recommend products I use myself and think would be useful for you.

      One of the greatest lies we tell ourselves is that we’re stuck in a rut. However, did you know it’s not only possible to change your situation but to also change yourself too?

      The mind is a powerful thing. It can be our greatest ally or our biggest enemy. The key to reinventing yourself is to gain control over the mind and start living the life you want to live. One way you can do this is by keeping a journal.

      Since my mid-teens, I have kept some form of a journal whether it be an art journal, a diary or a bullet journal. Now I keep a journal for creative brainstorming in both my business and personal life and I keep an A5 journal for all my mixed media art. 

      being 100% honest about your thoughts and feelings can be difficult to start with. You need to remember that your journal is a safe place. It’s a non-judgmental space which enables you to say exactly how you feel with no repercussions or judgements. 

      It’s a wonderful outlet especially for me as I suffer from GAD or Generalised Anxiety Disorder but, the high functioning kind which can easily go undetected by others. So you see it’s extremely important for me to have a creative and reflective outlet as a busy boss lady that runs her blog.

      Here in this post, I want to share with you my best tips for creating a daily journal practice that can reduce your anxiety and stress. These are life-saving tips that can improve your whole mindset and is a form of self CBT Cognitive Behavioural Therapy technique. 

      Tip number 1: Choose the right journal for yourself 

      Ok, so this one may sound a little silly, but the journal you choose can have a significant impact on how effective it is. Your journal is supposed to inspire and motivate you to use it. So, if you don’t love it, you’re not going to feel very inspired.

      Take your time to choose the right journal. Think about its design and how the pages are set out. Do you love it? Can you see yourself writing in it every day? It may sound a little ridiculous, but the right journal will pick you. 

      Tip number 2: Start by writing about the things you’re grateful for

      Once you’ve got the right journal, figuring out how to start it can be pretty tough. So, if you’re struggling, start by writing a list of the things you’re grateful for. This can either be done first thing in the morning or last thing in the evening. There are advantages to doing it during both times, so it’s all about what works for you.

      All too often, we spend most of our time focusing on the things we don’t have or the things we wish we had. This makes us forget about the positive things we do have. Journaling helps you to focus on the positive things in the here and now, rather than wasting time and energy wishing for something more.

      So how can this help you to reinvent yourself? Well, the more positive you are, the easier you’ll find it to make a change. It’s often our negativity which sets us back in life so anything which makes us more positive can help us to reinvent ourselves. 

      Sign up for my monthly newsletter, to gain access to exclusive offers & updates

      Sign up for my freebie library. Each week there will be a new freebie added to help organise your life and take away some stress!

      Tip number 3: Be absolutely honest in your journal 

      Journaling isn’t going to help you if you aren’t 100% honest. The trouble is, you may find you spend so much time hiding how you feel, that being 100% honest about your thoughts and feelings can be difficult to start with. You need to remember that your journal is a safe place. It’s a non-judgmental space which enables you to say exactly how you feel with no repercussions or judgements. 

      Once you’re honest about your thoughts and feelings and what you want from life, you’ll be able to see what you need to do to change.   

      Tip number 4: Write down your biggest goals

      Use the journal to write down what it is you want to achieve. This can be done in the form of short term and long-term goals. It’s important to see the big picture. Where do you want to be in 3-5 years and how could you potentially get there?

      Writing down your goals and identifying the steps you need to take to make a change, will help massively.

      Tip number 5: Make it a daily routine if you can

      It’s important to use your journal daily. Set up a daily routine where you write in your journal at a specific time. Once you’ve gotten used to writing in the journal, it will become an automatic habit you carry out each day.

      As with anything, to reinvent yourself, you need to be persistent and committed. So, be sure to write in your journal every single day.

      daily journal practice

      Summary

      These are just 5 ways that you can reduce your anxiety daily through journaling practice. The more you do it, the more chances you’ll start to see – both in how you feel and how you act. I am 100% certain that a journal will help you to reduce your stress and anxiety if you make it part of your daily routine. 

      It can also improve your focus and generate creative brainstorming which is crucial for busy CEOs and boss ladies. Often I will use my journal to brainstorm blog post ideas or even a whole product launch. If you too a busy boss lady who has high functioning anxiety then definitely give this a try. Other ways you can use your journal are brainstorming recipes or jotting down positive affirmations. I just know you’ll love this practice as much as I do! 

      Download and print your own 74-page Anxiety Journal here: https://ladybossnomad.gumroad.com/l/zapvj 

      About my guest blogger

      Amber Louise is the busy CEO and Founder of the Lady Boss Nomad. She inspires women with useful tips, resources, motivation & encouragement to help their digital businesses thrive. She helps female entrepreneurs launch a digital businesses. This service is for those who already have digital products but just need a robust platform or for newbies needing ideas on which digital products to sell, she goes through ebooks, eCourses, printable’s etc. She can offer guidance on the best tools and resources for digital businesses and blogs about product launching, marketing and sales page creation.

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      5 amazing benefits of social media on mental health

      I want to say thank you to Chloe from Nyxie’s Nook for this amazing guest post. I personally found social media to be the most amazing, supportive community following my mental breakdown and I definitely needed it. This post outlines the reasons it can be helpful for mental wellbeing.

      Let’s dive in

      Social media has long since been branded as hazardous to our mental and physical health. For those within a certain age bracket, it’s seen as something akin to the fall of socialisation. We constantly hear about children as young as six becoming addicted to social media, or adults missing the world around them because their nose is stuck in their phones. 

      But what about the positive side of social media? If we look beyond the addiction and online trolls, social media has helped shape the 21st century into a more inclusive place to be.

      For a long time, we’ve been under the assumption that asking for help is a weak or attention-seeking behaviour. But with the help of social media, we’re now much further forward in realising that speaking up about our issues is an act of strength.

      benefits of social media

      5 Positive aspects of social media

      Social media can be a great way to raise awareness, bring communities together and help those less fortunate. 

      Before the use of the internet and social media, we all seemed so far away. America, Japan, England, Finland; We were all divided by oceans, land and borders. With the use of the internet and, in turn, social media we’re able to raise awareness for issues that would otherwise be limited by location. By using social media we can reach other, like-minded people who can help spread awareness among their own communities and so on. 

      We’re better able to keep in touch with our loved ones, arrange online catch-ups and even play virtual games. 

      With so much of the world in lockdown at different times and for various levels of COVID-19, many of us have become separated from our families and peers. And with the current state of things here in the UK, our isolation isn’t set to end any time soon. The internet and social media have become a way for us to socialize, catch up and even watch movies together while staying safely apart. 

      Netflix has created their Netflix party to help socially distanced subscribers to watch television shows and movies together. Zoom has become the number one go-to video chatting application for social catch-ups to business meetings. Instagram, Facebook and Twitter also deserve honourable mention for helping us keep in touch and meet like-minded people who are better able to help and support us. Some of the most trusting and inspirational people I know were found via social media! 

      Finally, although not specifically on social media, as an avid gamer I find the use of online resources helpful in finding gaming partners. There are various places online to connect and even chat with gamers worldwide. I’ve met so many people through my love for Animal Crossing and The Sims. I’m in various community groups online where I can chat about the games, get information, tips and advice, and even swap friend codes. 

      benefits of social media

      Of course, this is all done from a safe distance and, as an adult, I’m aware of the danger of meeting others online. If you have a teenager or even a child who frequently games with others online, it’s suggested that you keep an eye on their activity. Have a chat with them about online safety and take an interest in what they’re doing without being overly critical. 

      Social media can be a welcome distraction from the outside world or a devastating realisation of the world around us

      Social media has acted as a means for me to distract myself from the goings-on around me, but it’s also been there to remind me of the harsh realities of the world around us. Without it, I doubt I would be kept as informed as I am. I avoid the news at all costs and have long since stopped trusting state-funded news reports. So various online sources, social media included, have been my direct link to COVID-19 news,  election updates and even any new information being spread in regards to mental health services in my local area. 

      In regards to acting as a distraction, by frequently visiting social media and getting to know others online, I’ve been able to build a small support network. This support network is usually biased and helps distract me just by chatting about things other than what’s on my mind. 

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      Social media has helped to normalise help-seeking behaviour

      For a long time, we’ve been under the assumption that asking for help is a weak or attention-seeking behaviour. But with the help of social media, we’re now much further forward in realising that speaking up about our issues is an act of strength. Many adults and young people are coming forward to encourage others to ask for help for things such as mental illness, grief, sexual assault etc. No longer are these things taboo, rather, we’re unified in our need to speak up! 

      Social media can offer a creative outlet

      Much like writing a blog or sketching in a notebook, creating social media posts can act as a creative outlet but on a much smaller scale. The likes of Instagram are especially good for displaying things such as photography and artwork, while Tik Tok is for the videographer in all of us. Others can view your work, like, share and even become inspired. But, of course, it’s not always about the number of likes and engagement you get. So long as you’re careful about how you manage your life on social media, it can be a wonderful place to find and hone your creative voice. 

      What are your thoughts on social media and its impacts? Do you feel that it’s a positive, negative or a bit of both? How do you use social media and how do you protect your mental health when using it? 

      Final thoughts from me

      I agree with all these benefits and I hope you enjoyed reading the post. All the details you need to connect with Chloe are below. Please go check out her blog, show some love, comment on posts and do what we do best in the blogging community, interact and show support.

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benefits of social media