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In our hustle-driven culture, where productivity and output often dominate our sense of self-worth, it’s all too easy to dismiss hobbies as mere ‘luxuries.’ We’re trapped in a relentless loop: wake up, work, manage household chores, perhaps attend to kids, sleep and then repeat. But let’s pause and think: when was the last time we did something purely for the joy of it? Not because it was another item on our to-do list, but because it made our soul sing? As a seasoned parent and mental health advocate, I’ve come to understand that nurturing our personal interests isn’t just beneficial, it’s essential. Our passions and hobbies aren’t silly pursuits; they are lifelines to our inner selves.
When our lives feel overburdened, as they often do, the idea of dedicating time to a hobby can seem like a far-fetched dream. Yet, it’s in these moments of mental exhaustion that we need these sanctuaries the most. Engaging in a hobby is akin to whispering to your soul, “I see you, and you matter.” Diving into a book, strumming a guitar, painting, dancing, or even tinkering with gadgets allows us a mental escape. This escape isn’t about running away from reality but rather grounding ourselves in it. It reminds us of our multifaceted nature. We’re not just workers, parents, or caretakers; we’re creators, dreamers, and explorers. The key is for you to be realistic about how much time you have available, it doesn’t have to be extravagant; it needs to matter.
The Therapeutic Power Of Interests
Research has consistently shown the myriad mental health benefits of engaging in hobbies. These pursuits release dopamine, our brain’s ‘feel good’ medicine. Activities like gardening, for instance, have been proven to lower cortisol levels, the hormone related to stress. Hobbies also foster a sense of accomplishment. When we bake a cake, finish a knitting project, or master a new song on the piano, we experience a surge of pride and fulfilment. These moments are not only therapeutic; they are transformative. They allow us to navigate our vulnerabilities and emerge with purpose.
Finding Your Passion In The Midst Of Chaos
For many people, the idea of ‘finding their passion’ can feel overwhelming. It is a really difficult question to answer, so if you’re someone who hasn’t yet discovered that spark, here are a few ideas to help:
Childhood Recall
Often, our true interests lie buried in the memories of our younger selves. Think back to what you loved doing as a child. Did you enjoy scribbling stories, building things, or perhaps dancing in your room?
The ‘Flow’ Test
As difficult as it may seem, try to reflect on moments when time seemed to fly by, and you felt wholly engrossed in an activity. That’s your ‘flow’ state, a good indication of a potential passion.
Start Small
Your hobby doesn’t have to be grand or elaborate. Begin with short, manageable sessions. If you’ve always wanted to write, start with a journal or short stories. If art calls, try doodling or basic sketching.
Community Connection
Joining clubs or online communities related to your interest can provide encouragement and support. Sometimes, shared passion can be the best form of therapy. Plus, there might be hobbies out there that you didn’t even know existed. Online communities can be a revelation in this sense.
An Invitation To Embrace Your Inner Self
If there’s one thing I want to leave you with, it’s this: You are deserving of joy, fulfilment, and moments of pure, undiluted happiness. Your hobbies, no matter how big or small, are your soul’s way of connecting with the universe. They aren’t just distractions or luxuries; they are integral to your being.
When Passion Meets Purpose
It’s a beautiful realization when what fuels our soul can also fuel our livelihood. Perfecting a hobby not only enriches our spirit but can pave the way for unexpected career opportunities. Let’s take photography as an example. What starts as a weekend fascination with capturing sunsets can evolve into a professional gig. Be it wedding photography, wildlife documentation, or fashion shoots. Many have found their career niches by simply following their heart’s interest. Now you could argue that you’d need to invest in your setup, but through secured loans, you have every opportunity to get everything you need to live your dream and pay it off as you go. Embracing your hobby might just lead you to a vocation where every working day feels like an extension of your passion. Remember, when passion meets purpose, magic happens. It’s the home of true happiness.
In the grand scheme of things, let’s not lose our unique characteristics. They add colour, texture, and beauty to the larger picture. Take a step back from the grind. Revisit that old guitar gathering dust, pick up that paintbrush, put on your dancing shoes, or even venture into the kitchen to whip up a storm. Remember, your passions are the rhythm that keeps you moving.
It’s been four years since I had a mental breakdown and I’m now glad I can spot the signs of stressful period when things become too much. And, more importantly, actually do something about it before it spirals out of control too much. I never want to return to the position I was in when I had a mental breakdown. As such, it is now about damage control.
It’s no secret that I took a break from social media recently. But running this blog in my spare time is just one small part of my life. As with all working parents, we have a lot of other stress factors to deal with. And sometimes something tips the balance and it just becomes too much for us to handle.
When this happens, I face constant anxiety for a week or two. Get very run down, and become mentally and physically unwell. This then leads to depression and feelings of inadequacy.
It’s been four years since I had a mental breakdown and I’m now glad I can spot the signs of the stressful period when things become too much. And, more importantly, actually do something about it before it spirals out of control too much. I never want to return to the position I was in when I had a mental breakdown. As such, it is now about damage control.
The stress bucket
We all have a stress bucket and sometimes it can overflow. We live in a world which induces anxiety in the calmest of people. Therefore we have to be careful and look after our well-being. Hypnotherapy was one of the main therapies which helped me and I use it when my mental health takes a hit.
The mind needs maintenance – just like you would physically rest after a long walk or injury to your body. I also want to make it clear to everyone reading this post that dips in our mental well-being will occur. Life throws curveballs our way and sometimes, even just one factor of our lives, can cause all the other plates spinning to topple over. And it’s okay to feel that way. It’s okay, to be honest about how you’re feeling. And take the time you need to feel mentally well again.
Taking control of the situation can be difficult
When I am in the midst of anxiety, even the decision to do something about the way I am feeling whirls around in my mind constantly. Will people think I’m inadequate? Will they question me about the way I am feeling? Should I just sort myself out?
Some of this critical thinking comes from me being quite harsh on myself. Some of it is from traumatic past experiences.
Stress factors which can impact anyone
Stress in daily life
Childcare challenges
Money problems
Not allocating time for myself
Being too busy to relax
Communication problems in home life
Symptoms Of Anxiety taking over
Critical thinking
Thinking the past will repeat itself
Frantic thinking
Losing control of emotions
Lacking in motivation
Not wanting to put makeup on
Detached
Worn out emotionally
In desperate need of self-care
Remedies for becoming mentally well again
I know firsthand just how much strength it takes to motivate yourself when you feel unwell mentally. However, because I have a toddler, normal everyday life has to resume. I thrive on a routine and using my brain. As such, I don’t do well when I have to stop and rest.
My mental wellbeing routine also forms a structure and it takes me time to feel like myself again.
Honesty
I dealt with things differently this time. One of the main differences when things started to feel out of control, was my honesty with everyone around me. Once it was clear to me that things were getting worse and I couldn’t control it. It was time, to be fully honest. With myself, initially. But also everyone around me. Given my mental health history, my family are in tune with when I am not quite feeling myself.
I am proud of myself for finally being honest with everyone around me. Feeling comfortable talking about how I really feel, made the world of difference.
A lot of people struggle to open up about their mental health difficulties, for fear of being judged. Now I’ve created the work-life balance I need and I have supportive people around me, it was easier to open up.
Final thoughts
The mind needs maintenance – just like you would physically rest after a long walk or injury to your body. I also want to make it clear to everyone reading this post that dips in our mental well-being will occur. Life throws curveballs our way and sometimes, even just one factor of our lives, can cause all the other plates spinning to topple over. And it’s okay to feel that way. It’s okay, to be honest about how you’re feeling. And take the time you need to feel mentally well again.
Because I am excited by stories and books again, it was time to dedicate a space on my blog to all things books! Reading is currently helping me mentally. And I wanted to share this passion, in the hope, it might help other people out there.
You can check out Book Corner because it’s where you will hear about my latest book reviews, what I am currently excited about reading, and any stories that literally knocked my socks off.
Quick note: Some of the links contained on this page are affiliate links and if you go through them to make a purchase, I will earn a commission. I only recommend products I use myself and thinkwould be useful for you.
A much-needed break to help me mentally
If you follow me on Twitter, you will know I am taking a two-week break from blogging in September. Whilst writing and being creative is my passion, I have worked non-stop on this little passion project since July 2021. It’s time to refresh and return better than ever. Because I have so many exciting things in the pipeline.
Follow me on Goodreads to hear about my reading progress. Whilst I am not sure I will achieve my target for 2022, I hope to make some reading progress during my two-week blogging break. I can’t wait to get lost in these stories and restore my mental well-being.
I’m going all out & saying this is one of the best books I’ve ever read. The pace, the writing, is outstanding. I couldn’t wait to keep turning pages and it’s renewed my eagerness to get through my TBR list!
Absolutely amazing! Gripping right from the very beginning. Strong characters and the second half of the book had me constantly turning the pages. I loved the characters and got to know them all very well. Would love to see this as a fil…
Books transporting us to a new destination
I have been struggling recently, with physical illness, and being run down. This means I’ve taken a hit emotionally and mentally. I am finding that reading allows me to switch off and recover, which I am thankful for. I often read books to get transported to the destination the book is set in. Lately, I need something to bring me out of the fog and reading is helping me mentally.
Let’s dive into my current reading list
As any book lover will experience, there were many titles on my list to choose from. I managed to narrow it down into a manageable reading list. And put them in an order I was happy with.
Mental Health books currently helping me mentally
It is important to me, to read about mental health, as well as write about it on this blog.
I recently visited the Bradford Literature Festival recently and attend a talk by Horatio Clare, discussing Heavy Light. Reading about mental illness from the perspective of the person is something very interesting to me. As such, I am so eager to read this title. It just had to come top of the pile.
I haven’t finished this book yet. But I can say, it is so well written. And I relate to so much of the content. Whilst I haven’t experienced psychosis, I have experienced seeing a situation from a completely different perspective because of my anxiety and depression. During my pregnancy and stay in the hospital, my and my hubby’s accounts of what took place are so different. It’s like talking to people who were in hospitals at opposite ends of the country. Therefore, I can relate to some of what Horatio and his partner experienced. It is a helpful insight into mental illness, and the lack of support for individuals who are unwell. Also a heartbreaking insight into what their families go through.
“The words with which a breakdown is treated are all medicalised – illness, treatment, nurse, doctor, meds – but the mechanism of treatment belongs to retribution: incarnation, surveillance, behaviour monitoring, parole. For crimes against normality, we get a label and a chemical life sentence. I hate this mechanism. I refuse to believe in it.” ― Horatio Clare, Heavy Light: A Journey Through Madness, Mania and Healing
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The Power Of Letters
If you follow my blog, you will know a letter I wrote was published in an anthology. The proceeds of the book went to the Prince’s Trust and the letters are designed to give the youth of today hope that things can get better. I was honoured to be part of this project.
I can’t wait to read the other amazing letters featured. However, with how I have been feeling recently, I think waiting for a little would be better for me mentally.
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This was a recommendation I picked up and I am so excited to see what it is all about. I feel like this book will contribute to helping me mentally. And will also tie in with the work I am doing in my hypnotherapy course, which helps me to understand how the brain works.
More about the book – From Amazon
The Psychopath Inside, tells the fascinating story of Fallon’s reaction to the discovery that he has the brain of a psychopath. While researching serial murderers, he uncovered a distinct neurological pattern in their brain scans that helped explain their cold and violent behaviour. A few months later he learned that he was descended from a family with a long line of murderers which confirmed that Fallon’s own brain pattern wasn’t a fluke.
As a scientist convinced that humans are shaped by their genetics, Fallon set out to reconcile the truth about his brain with everything he knew about the mind, behaviour, and the influence of nature vs. nurture on our personalities. How could he, a successful scientist and a happy family man with no history of violence, be a psychopath? How much did his biology influence his behaviour? Was he capable of some of the gruesome atrocities perpetrated by the serial killers he had studied?
Combining his personal experience with scientific analysis, Fallon shares his journey and the discoveries that ultimately led him to understand that, despite everything, science can teach us, humans are even more complex than we can imagine.
I know this title is part of a series. But having read the reviews, I have decided to read this one as a stand-alone book. We all have different preferences when reading and personally, I want titles which have great reviews, otherwise, I simply won’t finish them. This book sounds like the best one in the series. Obviously, I can’t pass judgment until I’ve read it. Sign up to be alerted each time a blog post is released, and you can catch up with the review when I finish it.
Getting lost in a book is helping me mentally. I love nothing more than a thriller, or crime drama. Therefore, naturally, it is the type of book I love reading.
A bit more information (courtesy of Wob)
Dark secrets, a devastating mystery and the games people play: the gripping new novel from the bestselling author of The House We Grew Up In and The Third Wife.
You live on a picturesque communal garden square, an oasis in urban London where your children run free, in and out of other people’s houses.
You’ve known your neighbours for years and you trust them. Implicitly.
You think your children are safe.
But are they really?
Midsummer night: a thirteen-year-old girl is found unconscious in a dark corner of the garden square. What really happened to her? And who is responsible?
Utterly believable characters, a gripping story and a dark secret buried at its core: this is Lisa Jewell at her heart-stopping best.
I have decided to add this to my list, but whether I read it or not will be very much based on how I like the other one in the series. I realise it sounds a bit quirky to read the titles in this order, but I love doing things my own way and this feels right. If I like the first title, it will be like watching the series and then the prequel.
This is another title, which is technically a series, but can be treated as a stand-alone book. I can’t wait to read this one. I love high-quality writing. And the reviews suggest I won’t be disappointed with this one.
A Thousand Moons skips forward a few years from Days Without End and although it’s in effect a sequel, the novel stands alone, wasting no time with backstory as it launches into its typically rollicking tale.
Even when you come out of bloodshed and disaster in the end you have got to learn to live.
Winona is a young Lakota orphan adopted by former soldiers Thomas McNulty and John Cole. Living with Thomas and John on the farm they work in 1870s Tennessee, she is educated and loved, forging a life for herself beyond the violence and dispossession of her past. But the fragile harmony of her unlikely family unit, in the aftermath of the Civil War, is soon threatened by a further traumatic event, one which Winona struggles to confront, let alone understand.
Told in Sebastian Barry’s rare and masterly prose, A Thousand Moons is a powerful, moving study of one woman’s journey, her determination to write her own future, and the enduring human capacity for love. (courtesy of Amazon).
‘Nobody writes like, nobody takes lyrical risks like, nobody pushes the language, and the heart, and the two together, quite like Sebastian Barry does.’ ALI SMITH
My hubby has been nagging me for years to get the full Harry Potter series and read it. He is aware I love the description and imagination in a book, much more than in a film. Up to now, I have been reluctant. But I will be giving this a go and see what happens. And whether I then want to read the rest of the books. Stay tuned on the blog and also on Twitter.
Final thoughts
I have so many titles on my bookshelf and I intend to continue my reading journey, with another Goodreads challenge in 2023. Stay tuned to the blog, on Book Corner for more of my current reading lists.
I’ve had a rough week and due to this, I’ve felt unmotivated when it came to blogging. This is what led me to accept the Behind The Blogger Challenge.
Despite my woes, opening Twitter on Friday morning, I had a lovely surprise with @DTblogs tagging me in his getting to know me post.
I love these kinds of posts. They allow us to get to know bloggers better and it’s fun. I genuinely felt a pang of excitement at knowing this was now the first task on my blogging to-do list for the weekend. What a great way to get back into blogging!
With the week off from my job, I can spend time doing what I love. A mix of blogging and resting. Bring on the daytime naps with the little one. Hopefully this post is the beginning of getting ahead on my blogging tasks.
Here are some things you don’t know about me and I haven’t yet talked about on the blog. Let’s get into Behind The Blogger Challenge
I completed two 10k races
I am no runner. But I gradually worked up from smaller runs. I found running helped my mental health and it became addictive to set my mind free and just go for it.
Conquering not one, but two 10k races, I am immensely proud of myself. It was one of the toughest challenges, simply because it did not come easy to me and in all honesty, I didn’t train enough for either race. But I did it! And I still have the medals on display. My little one plays dress-up with my Race For Life, 5k medals. Who knows, maybe we will dress up and do one together to honour my family members taken too soon by cancer.
All my grandparents were taken by cancer
A grim and scary fact, but something which affects families across the world. My relatives were impacted by different forms of cancer and therefore doctors have assured me the heredity risk is low. However, I went through an extremely angry period in my late teens because I never met my grandma due to this awful disease. It’s probably what prompted me to participate in these fitness events. I have predominantly raised money for cancer charities. I think it’s also why I am spiritual and somehow feel a connection to my loved ones.
I wear glasses
It didn’t happen until I was in my early 20s, but my dad always warned me it would.
Luckily I can still see quite well without my glasses and mainly need them for working and watching television. Or these days when I’m in zombie mode. Your eyes don’t function properly on five hours of sleep and a busy day ahead of you.
These days I have trendy colourful frames and they suit me. I also feel more intelligent when I wear glasses for work. What is it with that perception people have?
I am civilly partnered but we call it marriage
I have a blog post in my drafts all about this, so one day you can all read about it.
The basic gist of it is, we wanted to be a partnership, neither of us like much attention (we were glad it was a restricted guest allowance during lockdown) and we wanted an even, fair legal partnership. Therefore we decided to be civil partners.
You can turn it into a marriage further down the line and if we ever did, I envision an all-inclusive in Mexico for three weeks, with the little ones older and involved. Mexico was our first holiday as a couple and what an unforgettable experience. Whilst I was there I checked out the wedding brochure and it’s cheap to do, compared with UK prices.
I eat raw patatoes and frozen chips
Before anyone asks, I’ve done this for years. Not as a result of pregnancy. Although during pregnancy I completely went off most of the foods and drinks I loved. Strange.
I think the raw potato thing comes from Sunday dinners at home when my mum would leave potatoes soaking in the pan and they looked yummy. I also like the crunch. I can’t explain the frozen chips thing, but every single time I cook them I eat at least 1 or 2 before putting them in the oven.
I volunteered to visit the elderly
I was previously part of a charity that receive referrals for befriending an older person, who may be vulnerable and in need of company. As you can imagine, this was very rewarding and I am always on the lookout for new volunteer opportunities. Unfortunately, due to being pregnant and super busy all the time, I had to stop.
If you’re interested in doing this, check out the Age UK befriending service.
Final thoughts
Honestly, I’ve loved writing this Behind The Blogger Challenge piece and I feel like I was meant to be tagged in it. It’s brought back my writing mojo.
I nominate these amazing bloggers to accept the challenge if they feel able to do so:
Now we have an energetic toddler, we require activities to stimulate her and wear her out. Soft play is a great solution. A safe environment, where I can have a coffee, possibly do some blogging tasks on my phone, and she can play. These days, she often goes off on her own to explore and I think this skill is important for any child.
In this post, I wanted to cover some of the venues we have recently visited, including Kidzplay Shipley and also outline the important benefits of soft play.
PLEASE NOTE – I have no affiliation with any of these play centres. These are places we visit as a family
Billy Bobs, Skipton
Let’s dive in, as eagerly as my little one does in the ball pool
Great venues to visit in West Yorkshire
We are quite lucky, as we have a lot of soft play centres close to where we live, including Kidzplay Shipley. Here are some of the best ones we have visited:
Billy Bobs
I have written about Billy Bobs before. We love it for a family meal out and also for play. We recently took the little one for a play session. We filled up with a big brunch beforehand and then only had to pay for the wristband, which is £3.00 for one hour’s play. We got a coffee each and had an ice cream treat afterwards.
What I love about Billy Bobs is the outdoor playground, featuring several amazing structures, including a monster truck, aeroplane, ark, fire truck, tractor and train! As we cannot guarantee the weather will be nice enough to be outside here in the UK, it’s great they also have an indoor play barn. In the barn, you will find rope swings, racing slides, an alligator alley, little kid rope swings, and a toddler trike track.
All of this can be found in the wonderful Yorkshire Dales countryside. It’s so relaxing to sit on the amazing swing benches with a nice coffee and enjoy the sunshine.
Billy Bobs will now be one of my go-to places on my days off with the little one. A warning – weekends and school holidays can get very busy and they make this clear on their website.
Kidzplay Shipley
Kidzplay has several play centres, but we recently visited the Shipley one on a day out. It’s huge and even has a football pitch floor, with a racing track underneath. There is something for all ages, a smaller play area for toddlers, a specified area for babies and for the bigger kids, a huge slide.
When I take my little one here, I get the most relaxation time, simply because she has so much to explore. But the building is secure and you can see them at all times. This gives you peace of mind they are okay. And we can all enjoy our coffee when we know the little ones are okay!
I also love the fact you can book online and therefore it’s less hassle when you get there. I know there will be a table for us and we can quickly scan our tickets upon entry. These are important factors when you are on your own with a toddler. I have also booked last minute on several occasions, which is another bonus when you are trying to decide if you have a tired, moody toddler. Or whether they need activities to tire them out that day. There is only so much planning you can do with an unpredictable toddler.
Little Daisy’s is a small and cosy play place. Definitely for the younger end, if you have babies and small children, it’s perfect. The food is great and you can see your little one at all times from wherever you sit. It’s such a cute place and well hidden at the back of a church.
Little Daisy’s, Shipley
Brewers Fayre pubs
We recently visited the soft play centre at our local Brewers Fayre Pub. It was a weekday and the little one had the frame all to herself. We bought some drinks and snacks and everyone had fun. She also loved playing outside on the climbing frame, which was easily accessible from the soft play area.
If we did want to eat, there are tables near the soft play section and the food is cheap. They also have loads of great deals, including refilled coffee for parents. They even offer parties for just £50, before 11 am on a weekend. I am seriously considering them for our party needs next year. Given that we have promised a party for their next birthday.
Brewer’s Fayre
Let’s discuss the great benefits of soft play
Balance
Climbing through all those challenging places definitely improves balance. Billy Bobs even have balance beams in the play barn.
Waiting your turn
At busy times there are a lot of toddlers, all wanting to get down the slide at the same time. They have no choice but to figure out how to wait their turn. Or risk being bumped by another child. It’s great to watch this problem-solving in action.
Playing with others & sharing
There are only a limited amount of footballs on the pitch at Kidzplay. Therefore, it’s all about sharing. A while back my little one was telling me the ball was hers and insisting on taking it to our table. A bit of explaining ensured she quickly learned how to share and play well with others. Another valuable skill for any toddler.
Making decisions
I love watching her think about something and come to her own conclusion. It’s all part of growing up.
At Kidzplay, there are four seats on the big slide. The decision for her was, which of the four slide seats I go down? I literally watched her switch seats, and then she made a decision and stuck with it. It’s nice to watch from afar without reprimanding them because they are in danger. There is no danger in a soft play centre.
Days out with the kids during the cost of living crisis
I am sure we could all do with money-saving strategies at the moment. But anyone with a toddler will know, you also need to balance this with taking them out of the house. It’s great that I can do these activities on my days off work, for much cheaper than a day at nursery.
It’s also great to see businesses offering cheaper or free meals for children during the summer holidays in the UK. If you are taking the little one out anyway, you could have a meal out and then visit the nearest soft play. Any cost savings you can make are great.
Final thoughts
I hope you enjoyed reading how much we love soft play. I’ve wanted to write this post for a while and share our favourite places to visit.
We visited Billy Bobs Parlour Skipton – on a day outside of the school holidays and it was nice to finally see the car park half empty. We’ve tried to visit in the school holidays before and we couldn’t even get in the car park.
Post updated 13 July 2023
The place is so popular, and you can see why. You can check out their website here. And book a table here. Since the day we were disappointed and couldn’t get a table, we always book a few weeks in advance, if we can.
Quick note: Some of the links contained on this page are affiliate links and if you go through them to make a purchase, I will earn a commission. I only recommend products I use myself and thinkwould be useful for you.
My review of Billy Bobs Parlour
PLEASE NOTE – this review is based on my own experience after visiting for a day out.
Walking in
From the moment you arrive, the place screams fun. Our little one couldn’t wait to jump out of the car and start zooming around. You just feel relaxed, ready for fun. Ready to indulge in yummy food, drinks, ice-creams.
Inside – takeout and ice creams
We went inside for some take-out coffee. It was nice to stand waiting with the music on in a very cool environment. I took this opportunity to take some pictures whilst it was quiet. I started writing this blog post in my phone notes whilst waiting for the coffee, hehe! The whole atmosphere made me feel like I was still on holiday at the Haven caravan park.
Our little one loved the slide and because there are hay bales everywhere, we could let her climb up by herself, without fear of her falling. There are plenty of benches to sit in the sun and around the sides for larger groups who all want to sit together.
There are also benches inside the barn, so you can sit and watch the little ones as they play. Perfect for tired mummies & daddies like us!
The climbing frames are all cool buses, and fire engines, and made of sturdy stuff. Grandad is talking about having one made for the garden, haha!
Dining at Billy Bobs Parlour
Inside we booked the family area and the table is equipped with drawing pencils & paper. Perfect for the little ones. There is a separate adults-only dining area, which I think is great. The hubby and I booked this pre-children.
Our bambino noticed some other boys & girls with the Cadillac car housing their sandwiches. This led to a slight meltdown, but some colouring seemed to help things. She is now at the stage where she knows they cook food in the kitchen and being the impatient child she is, constantly points to the kitchen waiting for the food to cook. These data and distractions are very welcome when we eat out.
The food arrived and it was so yummy. Sorry, no pics as we were too hungry and focused on the cardboard car. I promise I will take them next time!
I can tell you the buttermilk chicken burger was melted in the mouth. Perfect, even down to the toasting of the bun. Our little one also loved her cheese sandwiches. Crusts cut off, thanks to Billy Bobs. She was given cucumber, carrot sticks, and a pot of jelly. Everything she could want. It was one of the best children’s lunches I’ve seen. We also bought a Kool-Aid for her. I’ve never had it before but it’s like drinking sweet, yummy sherbert.
Playing outside after food
Outside we went straight into the other play park, which is situated outside the main doors and she was off with Daddy, whilst we sat in the rocking chairs looking at the beautiful view.
The play area is set out well. Lots of sturdy climbing frames, and seats around the edges for parents and prams, so you can see your little one from where you sit, which is a bonus. Even though she’s a toddler, she was able to play on all the equipment and we usually have to tell her no to things in a public play park.
Facilities
It’s important for parents to be aware of the facilities available before visiting. There is a nappy-changing cubicle in the ladies toilets, but there was no nappy bin, which would have been useful. I didn’t personally go into the disabled toilets, but I am assuming they also had a baby change, and possibly there was a nappy bin in there that I didn’t see.
The toilets are located outside the main doors, which means you can use the facilities even if you’re only visiting for ice cream, or playing.
How to get there
The all-important opening hours and map can be located here.
Rules
You can visit this page for more information. During term time, when it’s quieter because the kids are at school, you can pay £3.00 to play for an hour. Perfect if you want to just let the little ones play, or only want a take-out coffee. Now I know they offer this option, I would be inclined to visit Billy Bobs Parlour again whilst out and about doing other things. It goes without saying, we will also be back at some point for food.
My battle with perinatal anxiety & depression was a long and scary journey.
Throwing hormones into the mix, along with a history of managing anxiety-related issues and panic attacks, was probably always going to be a recipe for disaster. But pregnancy was the point in my life when I finally needed help. Of the medicated kind.
The factors at stake for me during pregnancy were not only the worries related to the actual pregnancy, but risks to my sanity, family, income-earning ability, and my job role.
let’s look at the definition of perinatal:
Perinatal mental health (PMH) problems are those which occur during pregnancy or in the first year following the birth of a child. Perinatal mental illness affects up to 27% of new and expectant mums and covers a wide range of conditions.
As a result of working full-time, I put a lot of additional pressure on myself. It’s fair to say I wasn’t exactly working for a business where having kids was fully supported. I think this is improving, but there is still a lot of work to do in the corporate world. Women shouldn’t have to choose between having children or succeeding in a career. Businesses need to ensure both options are achievable.
Although I know my mushy brain raised red flags at work, it was too early to announce the pregnancy. We were still within the three-month period, and to be honest I didn’t want anyone to know, because I thought it made me look weak.
Quick note: Mummy Conquering Anxiety is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program. Some of the links contained on this page are affiliate links and if you go through them to make a purchase, I will earn a commission. I only recommend products I use myself and think would be useful for other people.
Working full-time during pregnancy and having pre-existing anxiety issues was a lot to deal with. I hope telling my story will be of some benefit to you.
In this post, I will cover the following topics:
What is antenatal depression
My backstory
The pivotal moment I knew I needed help
Antidepressants
How I think mental health services for women during pregnancy could be improved
Why are women still afraid to speak out on mental health matters?
Techniques that helped me through
What the experience taught me
Mummy comes second
Often, we neglect our own mental health to be a mummy. Self-care comes bottom of the list and there aren’t enough hours in the day to complete every task on the never-ending list. I found out the hard way. You don’t realise you’re neglecting yourself until it’s too late. At this point, the damage is already done.
From my own experience, health services need to be more proactive in respect of pre-pregnancy mental health problems. There is a lot of information and help out there relating to postnatal mental health problems. But my experience didn’t fit into this category. It made me feel like this was supposed to happen to me after I had the baby, not now. Surely? Why was this happening now?
Looking back, the impact of this shameful thinking only made matters worse. I was afraid to speak out and visit the doctor, for fear someone would think I was an unfit mother. The anxiety talking in my head would tell me, you can’t look after yourself, how can you look after a baby?
I’ve also found these resources for anyone who needs to read more on the subject. You can filter by area and will see a range of therapists, charities, and support groups.
Please read on for the full story of my battle with antenatal depression…
My backstory
I was two months into the pregnancy when I started feeling the symptoms listed in this article:
I was at work full time, struggling with the office-environment heat. Eating properly was just not happening, due to a constant sicky feeling (I felt permanently sick throughout pregnancy but was never actually sick!). I was far away from the toilet and needed to pee every 20 minutes – you get the picture. I actually lost weight over the course of my pregnancy, due to not getting enough nutrients.
My hormones and worries made it incredibly difficult to concentrate on my work tasks and I became paranoid that I was unable to do my job. I was seeking reassurance from a management team, who were used to me just getting on with things, however difficult the task was. Although I know my mushy brain raised red flags at work, it was too early to announce the pregnancy. We were still within the three-month period. And to be honest I didn’t want anyone to know, because I thought it made me look weak.
We need our tribe
A mental health specialist once made the point, the people we refuse to tell during this three-month period are the very people we would need if something unforeseen was to happen. This has stuck with me, and it’s true. In the future, I probably wouldn’t open up in the workplace, unless I felt comfortable in doing so. But I would definitely let my friends and family in, sooner than I did before. They are the tribe you need around you, at such a testing time in life. It takes a village and all that jazz (it really does BTW – safety in numbers with toddlers, hehe).
The pivotal moment I knew I needed help
I tried to plod along for a bit. We had a holiday planned (pre-planned before pregnancy). And I remember spending every waking moment of the getaway fixating on work and the conversation I’d had with a manager before leaving. The manager in question was trying to gauge why I was being so mushy in the brain (baby brain is real people). I wasn’t really capable of communicating verbally at that point and therefore, it was all a bit of a mess.
The damage caused by keeping these feelings to yourself at such a vulnerable, unpredictable time in life, is colossal. Then going through possibly the worst trauma of your life and trying to look after a small baby who is totally relying on you. It’s a lot to cope with. And we should be able to open up about it without fear.
It’s fair to say my worries, and anxiety levels about being bad at my job, pretty much ruined my experience on holiday. As much as I told myself to put the thoughts out of my head, they would come back. Even trying to forget about the drama at work was exhausting.
Upon my return from holiday, I booked an appointment with the doctor. What I experienced during my appointment didn’t help me at all. They were reluctant to prescribe antidepressants during pregnancy and were unable to explain why. I was left to muddle through at work and I am sure you can all imagine, things worsened. My mental health was in serious decline and I didn’t know what to do.
Why it’s vital to reach out for help
The situation wouldn’t improve until I had the help I needed. My instinct told me this was the case, but I felt like the doctors were not listening to me. This resulted in me worrying and playing out situations in my head, which only fuelled the negative anxious thoughts I was already having. When you’re at your most vulnerable, you shouldn’t have to fight to access mental health services and the solutions you need.
I knew I needed medication at this point. Something to help me out of a black hole. So I could focus on growing a child and balancing the pressures of daily life.
Around this time, I also experienced very rude reception staff when trying to make appointments. I was speaking to them following a few hours of sleep, worrying all night and I just needed help. I ended up crying down the phone twice and I honestly don’t think they are adequately trained to deal with people experiencing mental health problems.
Complaining to the GP
I made a complaint and left the doctor’s surgery, following an incident where they asked me to visit reception. I nearly had a panic attack and was afraid to approach the reception desk due to the treatment I’d received previously. I didn’t need rude people dealing with my care, on top of my existing need for help and my current, very fragile mental state.
Talk about adding to my mum-guilt. Making an expectant mother feel like they are harming their unborn child, by seeking out medication to help both parties.
Mind.org provides a lot of useful information about taking anti-depressants during pregnancy. When I was in the midst of trying to convince a doctor to prescribe the medication I required (it’s ridiculous I even have to write this in a blog post), I wish someone had provided me with the information I needed to make my case.
The doctor’s viewpoint on medication during pregnancy
I was asked to go away and try other techniques to avoid medication and the doctor insinuated, had I been on medication before pregnancy, it would be fine to continue taking it. Talk about adding to my mum guilt. Making an expectant mother feel like they are harming their unborn child, by seeking out medication to help both parties.
Waiting in limbo for a solution
I personally spent two months in limbo, before finally receiving medication, which eventually helped. Including the adjustment period, I would estimate I spent five months of a nine-month pregnancy suffering, unnecessarily. Antidepressants take a while to start working, and initially, you have some pretty severe side effects. I was already walking around like a zombie and new medication didn’t help the situation.
Based on my experience, I know we need to change the system to avoid negative outcomes at a time in life where a woman should be happy and thriving.
I was desperately trying to find a solution to ease the pressure. My mental health issues impacted my well-being, my job, my relationship. In addition to the confidence, I had to be a good mother. Also, my ability to buy things for the baby and it made the whole experience pretty grim.
A difficult pregnancy
I look back on my pregnancy now and don’t remember having one good day. I probably did, but I was plagued with uncontrollable anxiety and depression. As well as trying to manage all other areas of life.
It’s definitely had a bearing on my decision to have another child. I have anxiety about what another pregnancy would be like. Would I be a mess again, unable to cope, or worse this time? Whilst also trying to care for a toddler. I also don’t have much faith I would get help from a doctor if I needed it. And I know a lot of other people who feel like this.
The research on taking antidepressants whilst pregnant
From conducting my own research, I was only able to find one study which mentioned the medication I was on. And how it could have an impact on an unborn baby. Surely, I thought, having a healthy mother is vitally important. Given the way I was dealt with by the doctor, I expected to find endless studies backing up the reluctance to prescribe the medication, but that just wasn’t the case.
How I think mental health services for women during pregnancy could be improved
Whilst in hospital Let’s just talk for a second about how calling anyone with anxiety issues, ‘difficult’, can be extremely damaging in itself. It made me feel like an inconvenience, like I wanted to go home straight away.
Unfortunately, the health service is understaffed, and staff do not have time to speak to you one on one and deal with your anxiety issues. Whilst the people caring for me were lovely, salt-of-the-earth people, who were clearly meant to be in this job. I still felt like a burden.
Traumatic experiences during my stay on the postnatal ward
I remember the morning after my C-section, with only basic over-the-counter medication, to deal with a major operation and a serious infection. Being called “difficult” for not wanting to sit up in bed until I had my painkillers. Let’s just talk for a second about how calling anyone with anxiety issues, “difficult”, can be extremely damaging in itself. It made me feel like an inconvenience. I wanted to go home straight away, but I couldn’t as I was under observation.
During my stay, I was in agony, and I kept receiving the pain medication at the incorrect times, which resulted in some nasty withdrawal symptoms from the whole, traumatic ordeal. Whilst I would only wish to thank the staff involved in my care (they do their absolute best every single day and you can see that). These circumstances resulted in my anxiety levels rising, in a situation and surroundings where there was nobody but my hubby to understand or support me.
The need for a birthing partner who knows you well
They even sent my hubby home, so there were periods when I didn’t have anyone to understand me. And I couldn’t get out of bed or look after myself!
Being in my head at the time, I was honestly afraid of how I would be judged in that situation. Would the nurse caring for her think I was an inadequate mother? Were they making notes about me and recording what was happening? Would I get a visit from social services? Because I was clearly unstable for thinking like this?
He was initially sent home during my labour period, at the pivotal moment when my pain was increasing and I felt like nobody was listening when I said that. Things progressed quickly in his absence and he was called back. However, the endless number of factors that worsened my anxiety during his absence had already made me defensive and less likely to open up. From this point, I felt trapped. And my anxiety spiralled.
The system, funding, and government intervention need to improve. It simply isn’t good enough to have a lack of care, over-tired staff, and possible negative outcomes. When you are dealing with the care of a new mother and child.
The pandemic worsening the situation
To send partners home when they are really the only ones looking after the expectant mother and taking time to understand their needs is unacceptable. The anxiety about mothers being left to fend for themselves only worsened during the pandemic. This Independent article goes into more detail. This Guardian article also touches on the issue.
Possible solutions?
I also don’t believe a one size fits all approach is sufficient when you are dealing with mental health. It would help to have mental health specialists visit patients in the antenatal ward. But it’s all about the lack of funding for services. And whilst some NHS trusts have this specialism, most still don’t. It’s also vital to allow birthing partners to stay with the expectant mother, especially when staff are too busy to care for their needs.
I am eternally grateful to the staff at our local hospital for ensuring our post-pregnancy outcome was as positive as possible given their resources. I am aware some of the issues discussed in this article can lead to negative outcomes for babies and parents. And my thoughts go out to anyone who is impacted.
Need help?
If you are impacted by any of the issues we have touched on in this article. Here are some charities that could help: Tommy’s or Bliss. They are fantastic charities doing a lot of work to help improve maternity services. I’ve also recently come across PaNDAS which specialise in postnatal Depression. Pregnant then screwed is a charity advocating for women’s rights at work.
Why are women STILL afraid to speak out on mental health matters?
The following quote is from a Glamour article and summarises how one woman felt about admitting there was a mental health issue during pregnancy:
“It’s comforting to know that I’m not the only one who feels ashamed. A woman I know recently told me that when she was pregnant, her mind was in a particularly dark place but she feared that telling someone she felt depressed could result in her baby being taken away when he was born. For months she resisted medication because she thought that being a medicated mom equaled being a bad parent. She has since started medication but is too ashamed to tell her in-laws, and she has gone from wanting multiple children to writing off any future pregnancies.”
Why is this still a problem in our society? And why isn’t someone helping pregnant women be honest and get the help they need? I do think mental health services have improved and are continuing in the right direction, but we still have a long way to go.
The quote above describes the way I felt and the way I was subsequently made to feel by a doctor. How many expectant mothers are turned away and then never have the confidence to ask for help again? As I am quite a strong person, I persisted and luckily got the help I needed. Doing this took every ounce of energy I had though. Just before getting the medication I needed, I booked 10 days holiday from work, because I just couldn’t carry on. I was even afraid to take sick leave because it would be questioned in respect of my pregnancy. I don’t know where I would be without the medication I started taking during pregnancy.
Adding a label to my experiences
It would have been beneficial for the doctor to mention or label, what I was experiencing could be a battle with antenatal depression. Nobody ever mentioned this term to me and it’s only now, looking back on the situation, that I know what it is. It has a name and I can talk about it now.
Is someone spying on me?
During my pre-pregnancy appointments and my stay on the ward (4 days), I remember feeling as though I was being watched. Checked up on, and questioned a lot. The obstetrician was obviously aware of my anxiety issues and I was overweight, which required additional check-up appointments.
Seeing through an anxiety lens
Maybe the staff weren’t acting any differently, just doing their job. The point is I felt like this throughout my care. Up to the point of discharge from the hospital post-pregnancy.
The damage caused by keeping these feelings to yourself at such a vulnerable, unpredictable time in life, is colossal. Then going through possibly the worst trauma of your life and trying to look after a small baby who is totally relying on you. It’s a lot to cope with. And we should be able to open up about it without fear.
My hubby describes me as being reluctant to visit our little pumpkin in the baby unit (she had to be monitored due to an infection). And he puts it down to my pain levels.
Being in my head at the time, I was honestly afraid of how I would be judged in that situation. Would the nurse caring for her think I was an inadequate mother? Were they making notes about me and recording what was happening? Would I get a visit from social services? Because I was clearly unstable for thinking like this?
Pressure to breastfeed
There is so much talk about breastfeeding whilst you’re there and you are made to feel inadequate, whether this is intentional or not. The surroundings also don’t help you get the rest you need: babies crying all night, women screaming in pain. Although I felt for all parties involved and could relate, it isn’t the best setting in which to recover from a major operation with out-of-control anxiety issues.
Techniques that helped me through
Stopping full-time work one month early
The pressure on expectant mothers from the workplace also has to stop! Slowly society is progressing in this area, but the progress isn’t quick enough for me or other poor mothers, who have additional guilt, added to the mixing pot of hormones, emotions, physically struggling, anxiety about life-changing circumstances, and the thought of being responsible for a new baby.
When it came to it, admitting I needed to stop working due to severe hip pain and mental health issues, really helped me. Although having to do this makes you feel inadequate. Nobody at work visited me, whether it be management or HR to ask how I was doing. The only sympathetic comments I got were from other expectant mothers. Who literally felt my pain in respect of lack of support.
Feeling isolated and lonely
It is isolating and lonely to feel like nobody understands how you feel. You’re so tired at that point. It’s too much to try and explain it to someone, who frankly doesn’t understand and doesn’t really want to. I stayed quiet for a lot of time and put my head down until I could finally finish work.
The day I finished work, I visited the doctor after not sleeping all night, feeling sick, and suffering from severe anxiety. And this was the route I took to stop working. It had to reach a breaking point before I could finally stop. They told me not to go back until after my maternity leave ended. The worry then became about limited time with my child. Was I wasting a month before the baby was here? Should I still be working?
Workplaces need to do better
I think workplaces and the government are also accountable for supporting women and making employees feel secure in having children and thriving at their jobs. You shouldn’t have to pick one or the other.
I am a huge fan of the shared paternity leave. The hubby & I have discussed doing it with a second child. Unfortunately, I don’t think enough people know about the option or want to take it up. Hopefully, this will change.
The pressure on expectant mothers from the workplace also has to stop! Slowly society is progressing in this area, but the progress isn’t quick enough for me or other poor mothers, who have additional guilt, added to the mixing pot of hormones, emotions, physically struggling, anxiety about life-changing circumstances, and the thought of being responsible for a new baby.
Self-care
During the month off work pre-pregnancy, I made time for self-care. Baths, naps, candles, chocolate, strawberry laces (even though they made me sick towards the end, with my limited stomach space). Anything that would lift my mood and make me feel a little better.
Although I was hesitant to finish work early, as I was only having 9 months at most with my little pumpkin. It was refreshing to have a month off before the baby came. I did all the things that made me feel better and stopped dragging my overloaded body to the train station every day. To a job where I didn’t feel supported. It was lovely to be out of the toxic environment.
The home was my haven
Nesting – we’ve all heard that term used. To describe a woman’s instinct to prepare for the impending arrival of a brand-new baby. I love this description from a Dad’s perspective.
My hubby was used to the nesting process (I’ve always been obsessed with cleaning). He’s the messy, unorganised one in the relationship and I’m the one who gets excited about new cleaning products. (standards have slipped though, now I have a toddler).
On the subject of men, I would also like to mention, this issue doesn’t just impact mothers. Men’s mental health can also be affected by pregnancy and the aftermath.
What the experience taught me
I have learned my lesson about prioritising the health of myself and my baby. Also, not caring about what other people think. Especially those who have no bearing on my life and the decisions I make. Ultimately you as an individual will know what’s best for you and you should push to receive the help you need. In the future, I would stick up for myself when it comes to doctors’ appointments and medication.
If and when we have another baby, I would do things differently this time. You don’t know what to expect when it’s your first pregnancy. You must experience it for yourself, in order to learn and grow.
Final thoughts
Everyone has their own way of coping with traumatic events and mine is blogging.
I can only relay my personal experience, feelings, and thoughts on this subject. I am aware there are a lot of additional factors and issues surrounding these sensitive subjects,
If you have been affected by any of these issues, let’s all speak out and raise awareness. That’s how change happens. Please feel free to get in touch, or leave a comment below. I would love to hear from you.
Life’s a wild ride, isn’t it? Some days, it’s like walking on a rainbow, while others feel more like a whirlwind of endless tasks that make you feel like you’re running a never-ending marathon. During those turbo-charged times, finding a smidge of calm can seem as difficult as finding a needle in a haystack. But let me let you in on a little secret: it’s exactly during these fast-paced times that mindfulness plays its trump card.
Each morning, before you leap into the day, spend a quiet moment setting an intention. It could be as straightforward as saying, “Today, I will keep my cool, no matter what.” Next up, it’s time to tackle your to-do list – but smartly. Highlight what needs your attention the most. You’ll be acting instead of reacting, and trust me, that feels so much better.
Breathe And Pause
Ever noticed how your breath is like your trusty sidekick? Always there, right when you need it. So in those intense, I-can’t-catch-a-breath moments, it’s time to get back to basics. Take a break, breathe in deeply, hold for a sec, and then breathe out. This nifty trick, also known as diaphragmatic breathing, is like your personal stress-busting superhero that you can call upon anytime you need.
Mindful Eating
Here’s a thought: when life turns into a whirlwind, meal times often feel like just another task. But what if we turned them into an opportunity to practice mindfulness? Next time you’re eating, really savour your food. Enjoy its colour, texture, and aroma. Take in all the flavours as you chew. Not only will you be more present, but your tummy and overall health will thank you too!
Mindful Chores
What if we could turn everyday tasks into mini-moments of mindfulness? Sounds intriguing, right? Be it folding laundry, washing dishes, or sweeping the floor, start focusing on what you’re doing and how it feels. Watch how these routine chores turn into peaceful pockets of mindfulness.
Harness The Power Of Music
Who doesn’t love a bit of background music, right? It can be a great buddy when practising mindfulness. Can’t find the right tracks? Why not explore torrent sites for music or check out mindfulness apps that offer chill playlists? You’ll be surprised how the right music can set the tone for your day.
Seek Solitude
Carving out a bit of ‘me-time’ can be a total game-changer in a busy day. Find a quiet spot at home or a peaceful corner in a park, or even just a cosy nook in your office. Spend 10-15 minutes there, soaking in your thoughts or maybe doing some journaling. It’s like finding an oasis of calm in a desert of busyness.
Guided Meditation
New to mindfulness? Guided meditations are like a helping hand, guiding you through the practice. There are tons of apps and online platforms that offer step-by-step sessions. Even just 5 minutes can help you relax and clear your mind. Give it a go, and you’ll see what I mean.
Connect With Nature
Ever spent a moment just soaking in the great outdoors? The sun on your face, the wind in your hair – it’s like nature’s own brand of mindfulness. Next time you’re feeling stressed, try spending a few minutes outside. Feel the breeze, listen to the birds, watch the clouds. You’ll be surprised at how grounded and peaceful you’ll feel.
Laugh It Off
We’ve all heard the saying, “Laughter is the best medicine,” and boy, is it true! A good chuckle can cut stress, boost your mood, and even improve your health. So when things get tough, find a reason to giggle. Share a joke, watch a funny clip, or play with your pet – because nothing brings you into the present moment quite like a good belly laugh.
Digital Detox
Let’s face it, we’re pretty much attached to our devices these days. But taking a digital detox – even if it’s just for an hour – can do wonders for your mindfulness practice. Switch off your devices and do something offline. Read a book, cook a meal, or just enjoy a hot drink. Your mind will thank you.
Progress, Not Perfection
Last but definitely not least, remember this: mindfulness isn’t about becoming a Zen master or having an empty mind. It’s about being aware of your thoughts and emotions, and gently bringing them back to the now. And sure, your mind will wander – that’s just part of the deal! But the key isn’t perfection; it’s progress.
So, even when the pace of life tries to sweep you off your feet, remember you’ve got the tools to stay grounded. Mindfulness isn’t a quick escape from life’s busyness, but a secret weapon to navigate it more effectively. So take a moment, breathe, and just be. It’s like discovering your own personal island of calm amidst the hustle and bustle of life.
Parenting is the most challenging job in the world. Children need love, attention, patience, meals, clothes, guidance, boundaries – all before 8.30 am. It’s exhausting, draining. But also incredibly rewarding.
I’ve seen other parents talking about how to handle toddler emotions. But we’ve recently experienced the full force of raw emotions, coming from my feisty little pumpkin. She is full of sass at the best of times – it’s just her personality! But these recent emotions, which she is clearly unable to handle, are coming across as anger and moodiness.
As a parent, it’s easy to react in these situations (trust me I have, we all have – no parent is perfect). But the correct way to deal with this situation is to help your toddler handle the feelings they are experiencing. Put simply, they don’t know how to do it themselves. I’m in my late 30’s and sometimes I can’t handle my own emotions. As such, we’ve recently explained to her that adults also struggle with emotions and created some emotion cards to help her communicate how she is feeling.
Quick note: Some of the links contained on this page are affiliate links and if you go through them to make a purchase, I will earn a commission. I only recommend products I use myself and think would be useful for other people.
Let’s explore the range of emotions your toddler might be feeling:
Anger
Fear
Sadness
Boredom
Happiness
Excitement
Tiredness
Confusion
This is not an exhaustive list. We know as adults, there are many more emotions we deal with on a daily basis.
I wanted to share some of the tips and tools we’ve used:
Children sometimes don’t have the tools or vocabulary, or actions to communicate emotions effectively. it is up to us as adults to help them communicate effectively. And sometimes verbally speaking about it just isn’t something they are equipped to do yet. How many adults do you know who struggle to verbalise their emotions? I know a lot!
As a family, we are all going to benefit from these tools we’ve put in place, to effectively communicate our emotions.
Emotion Flash Cards
I was going to buy some of these. However, being okay at designing, due to running three blogs and a t-shirt business (all self-taught), I thought I would have a go at creating some myself. And of course, as a blogger, I will be sharing them with you all. In the hope they also help other parents out there.
Feel free to click download below, for access to the flashcards.
These cards are great because sometimes toddlers need adults to question, help or prompt them. To start a conversation about how they are feeling. When they are unable to initiate this. I’ve started off by printing some of the cards, to see how well they work. But, I’ve included a full set for you to download.
I’ve already arranged mine in the living room. In an easily accessible place.
As a family. we’ve agreed that if we are struggling to express our emotions, we will show someone the card. And we can start a discussion about how we are feeling.
Read my blog posts about our journey with gentle parenting:
As someone who struggles mentally, with anxiety and depression, I’ve now accepted the fact that as humans, we are not all happy all of the time. It’s important to feel our full range of emotions, as and when they come up. Being happy is a wonderful feeling. And as a family, we try and create as many happy family memories as we can. However, it’s natural we will all feel tired, scared, alone, and sad at various times throughout an average week.
There are many factors which can impact your emotions. Due to the health conditions we face as adults, sometimes our communication can be poor and as human beings, we lash out.
For a while now, we’ve explained to my toddler, that it is normal and completely okay to feel these other emotions. And to become frustrated in the moment, when we don’t know how to deal with them.
Fight or flight is a real thing. A pre-historic reaction to stressful situations. We often cannot control it.
Equipped with this knowledge, we humans need to give ourselves more credit. And accept we will sometimes react in the moment and apologise later.
Why not sign up for my freebie library – where you will get access to free planners and workbooks – PREVIOUSLY UNRELEASED ON THE BLOG
Finding safe & appropriate ways to manage emotions
If my little one is sad, moody or tired we talk about cuddling and laying down to have a nap. And I explain ‘Mummy is also tired and it’s okay to feel this way’. Luckily, she has a few days with us during the week, where she can relax and chill out if this is what she wants to do.
Set a good example
Toddlers learn about managing their emotions by watching us. As adults, it is our responsibility to set a good example of how to behave. However, as humans, we don’t always get it right.
Something we do as parents is apologise if we displayed incorrect behaviour. And we talk as a family about why we did that.
Other great online resources to deal with emotions
I wanted to share with you some unique and quirky gift ideas I’ve been trying out. Whether you need an idea for a birthday, wedding, or a treat for a friend – I have you covered.
Please note – some of the items featured were sent for me to review – all thoughts are my own
Some of the links contained on this page are affiliate links and if you go through them to make a purchase, I will earn a commission. I only recommend products I use myself and think would be useful for other people.
Let’s Dive into the Quirky Gift gift ideas…
KIND2 – Shampoo & Conditioner Bars
I was kindly sent these shampoo and conditioner bars to try. My hubby and I have different types of hair. But we both tried them and were impressed.
The bar lathers up and the foam isn’t too overpowering, but it works. They also dry quickly so you can keep them in a dish to use next time.
I have very dry, frizzy hair and these products still nourished my hair – which can be quite difficult to achieve, with some products.
Overall, I would purchase these bars again, or as a gift for a loved one. The sustainability element impresses me. Just imagine all the single-use plastic we go through, with beauty products alone. Something MUST change.
Why not visit Etsy and check out some independent sellers?
Cheerful Buddha
I was recently contacted by Cheerful Buddha who kindly sent a gift pack to try. Having tried their products before, I can confirm their coffee is great.
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Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. These cookies ensure basic functionalities and security features of the website, anonymously.
Cookie
Duration
Description
cookielawinfo-checkbox-analytics
11 months
This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Analytics".
cookielawinfo-checkbox-functional
11 months
The cookie is set by GDPR cookie consent to record the user consent for the cookies in the category "Functional".
cookielawinfo-checkbox-necessary
11 months
This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookies is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Necessary".
cookielawinfo-checkbox-others
11 months
This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Other.
cookielawinfo-checkbox-performance
11 months
This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Performance".
viewed_cookie_policy
11 months
The cookie is set by the GDPR Cookie Consent plugin and is used to store whether or not user has consented to the use of cookies. It does not store any personal data.
Functional cookies help to perform certain functionalities like sharing the content of the website on social media platforms, collect feedbacks, and other third-party features.
Performance cookies are used to understand and analyze the key performance indexes of the website which helps in delivering a better user experience for the visitors.
Analytical cookies are used to understand how visitors interact with the website. These cookies help provide information on metrics the number of visitors, bounce rate, traffic source, etc.
Advertisement cookies are used to provide visitors with relevant ads and marketing campaigns. These cookies track visitors across websites and collect information to provide customized ads.
