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Book Corner, Book Reviews, Mental Health, Tools for managing anxiety

12 Books & Courses For Managing Anxiety

19 November 2022 , 6 Comments

I wanted to write a list of great books by people who’ve found creative ways to manage their anxiety levels. In addition to this, I will also be letting you know about some courses which are geared towards wellness.

managing anxiety

Quick note: AD-AFF-GIFTED Some of the links contained on this page are sponsored and affiliate links. If you go through an affiliate link to make a purchase, I will earn a commission. I only recommend products I use myself and think would be helpful for other people.

Shall we dive into the list of great resources to help you with managing anxiety?

Education – courses for managing anxiety

Charlotte Lewington

Charlotte is a bestselling co-author, educator and consultant helping children and young people to
find their voice, be seen and feel validated. There is nothing she is more passionate about than
making sure children know that they are loved and love themselves from the inside out. During her
own childhood, Charlotte faced many struggles that only made her stronger. Through these
experiences, she learnt that you can either sit down and cry about things or you get up and you move
on. Learning the lesson being shown to you.

After 16 years of experience within different health and childcare settings, Charlotte gained a degree
in psychology and is currently working towards a master’s degree in children and young people. Charlotte spends most of her time delivering training to nurseries, schools and organisations offering
workshops and retreats relating to emotional well-being.

Her mission is to provide support in order to bridge the gap with the mental health crisis that we are
currently experiencing. In between all this, you will often find charlotte travelling the world and making the most out of life.

You can view and purchase all of her courses on Udemy UK.

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Charlotte Lewington Courses

Details you need to check out

Please head over and check out her Facebook group – Children’s Mental Health Support for Parents & Educators | Facebook

She also offers

1-2-1 support sessions if anyone is feeling lost or finding the queen’s death a trigger. For anyone finding it challenging with children going back to school or children managing anxiety about anything, parents or carers can book a call. She is also currently looking for people to be involved in a book collaboration.

Miss M Online courses

I recently wrote about how important it is to nurture a business-minded child. And more importantly, teach essential life skills that are usually lacking in the mainstream school system. You can check out the full blog post here.

Well, it’s time to bring you the latest from this amazing platform. Check out some of the courses available below.

What’s the latest?

Why not check out the new business board game? What an amazing gift for a young person this Christmas!

Business Board Game

managing anxiety — Ready to help your child?

managing anxiety — Other Courses

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Centre Of Excellence

Centre Of Excellence has a range of courses related to managing anxiety, wellness and alternative therapies.

Here are just some of the courses on offer…

Anxiety Management Diploma Course

Dealing With Depression Diploma Course

Mindful Mental Health Diploma Course

Yoga Diploma Course

managing anxiety — Centre Of Excellence

Head over and check out all of their amazing learning resources. Maybe you want to buy the gift of learning for a loved one or friend this holiday season. You know someone who is currently managing anxiety and needs some assistance.

Books for managing anxiety

You can check out my page, dedicated to all things books! Feel free to browse the other book-related posts on my blog

Christmas Eve Box

Book Corner Christmas Gift Guides Gifting Toddlers wellness

Look No Further Than Elfland UK for Your Christmas Eve Box

mummyconqueringanxiety

20 November 2022 12

managing anxiety

Book Corner Book Reviews Mental Health Tools for managing anxiety

12 Books & Courses For Managing Anxiety

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19 November 2022 6

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I also have a page dedicated to managing anxiety

Rachel Ann Cullen’s book, Running for Our Lives

My thoughts

Running For Our Lives is about how running helps people overcome life challenges and mental health struggles. It touches upon how it helped Rachel reclaim her identity after she became a mum. In addition, it contains human stories and experiences from ordinary people.

I knew this title would resonate with time on some level. But I was unprepared for how much I would feel an emotional connection to the stories. A literal pang in my heart because this journey of sharing our mental health struggles is also one I’ve been on myself. I couldn’t put this book down, thanks to honest writing. Not to mention, the sheer power of connection between human beings who have one shared cause.

“It enables us to silence the chimp and write another story for ourselves – one where things become possible.”
Running For Our Lives

“These are people who have chosen to live fiercely and to be fully alive. They are no longer content with the alternative.”
Running For Our Lives

“mental illness is not concerned with rational thought. It will eat you up regardless.”
Running For Our Lives

“Perhaps it is you seeing the tiniest chink of light in a very dark place, discovering that you have a new friend in the world – one whom you have never met.”
Running For Our Lives

Buy the book

Amazon

The Book Depository

Sara Barnes’ book, The Cold Fix

The Cold Fix is about the healing power of cold water immersion in overcoming physical and mental pain. Or anguish including osteoarthritis, seasonal sadness, migraines, alcoholism and overthinking. It’s about growing older and exploring new opportunities; menopause, body image and confidence.

My thoughts

When reading the book, my initial thought was that I was intrigued as to why people do this and I find it fascinating that such an extreme activity can help someone mentally.

I particularly like the sensory and meditative experience which comes with this technique. It feels similar to how I probably feel when doing meditation.

“Coming here on my own had indeed added a risk factor, but it had also motivated and driven me to climb, literally, out of my comfort zone and rediscover a world that had been out of my reach for too long”
Sara Barnes’ book, The Cold Fix

“The cold water has given me the key to unlock myself within a place I didn’t know existed: the community of cold-water swimmers right around the world. What binds us all together is the cold and how it makes us feel: brave enough to tackle even the toughest of life’s issues.”
Sara Barnes’ book, The Cold Fix

Buy the book

Amazon

The Book Depository

Jo Moseley’s Stand-up Paddleboarding in Great Britain

Stand Up Paddleboarding is a guide to paddle boarding. However, Jo explains the sport has got her through grief, anxiety and empty nesting. It’s brought her identity back outside her roles as a mother, daughter, sister, and friend. And her commitment to the environment has strengthened. Back in 2019, she became the first woman aged 54 to stand up paddleboard coast to coast across northern England. Picking up litter and raising money for environmental charities.

My thoughts

The most striking thing about this book is the great images of places to visit. You feel transported there, and it’s wonderful. You are experiencing an adventure alongside reading about Jo’s story. There is a real variation in locations across the UK and I was glad to see some near where we live. It also makes me want to visit the places I haven’t visited and take in the scenery for myself.

The book also includes practical tips on how to get started, if you’re interested in starting your stand-up paddle-boarding journey

“A chance to walk on water, and I hope, appreciate that we all belong there too.”
Jo Moseley’s Stand-up Paddleboarding in Great Britain

Buy the book

Amazon

The Book Depository

Michael Waters

You may remember me including Michael Waters in a previous blog post.

Buy the book

Amazon

The Book Depository

Recent projects

He has recently been writing for some projects, aiming to help young people with their mental health. If you follow my blog, you will know I am totally on board with this. The current cost of living situation we are facing in the UK is only going to increase mental health problems among young people. Ultimately, it is up to us to raise awareness.

One is about how becoming guise-wise can really help reduce the mental health issues of young people (and not so young!)

Why? Because so many are the result of comparing ourselves to others, often obsessively,
and to a disproportionate emphasis on relatively minor or very specific but not all-defining
differences. Young people are especially prone to these practices.
Supposing I’m a teenager preoccupied with my gender identity. Maybe I suspect I’m
different in this respect from most of my friends. At one time, gender identity was not an
issue for all but a tiny number of kids. Now it’s an issue for a lot, but that’s not the main
point. The main point is that if I am a teenager with gender identity concerns then part of
that will involve placing myself on a spectrum of gender gradations. I’m defining myself by
what I am not and I’m probably defining my whole self primarily in terms of gender identity
markers. This means that I’m not foregrounding all the many things I share with my peers –
other aspects of identity, beliefs, preferences, interests and hosts of others that I share with
everybody on the planet. Rather, I’m over-focusing on one thing that’s distinctive about me,
one particular difference.
Becoming-Guise-Wise:
How to dissolve the mental health issues of the young – Dr Michael Waters

The other is about making commonality-first, not difference-first how we should best respond to others – this would be the best legacy for the Queen since this is what she did in her life

She experienced diversity, more than anyone who has ever lived. No one else has been up as close and personal to such a variety of individuals in such a variety of settings. No one else has had more first-hand experience of as many different social and cultural groups. Who else has made official visits to over 117 countries and carried out over 21,000 official engagements, to say nothing of walkabouts and other unscripted exchanges? It’s also clear that she cared deeply for many of those to whom the word “diversity” is usually applied – minorities and the marginalised.
The Queen’s Legacy: Commonality-First – Dr Michael Waters

Workbooks for managing anxiety

I had to share the workbooks that personally helped me with managing anxiety, during the down periods in my life. I still have these on the shelf by my workspace. They proved to be so beneficial in my time of need.

My Bookshelf at home

Final thoughts

I hope you found these tools for managing helpful anxiety. Maybe a book you want to purchase something for yourself or a loved one?

Let me know your favourite book or course – I would love to hear from you in the comments.

managing anxiety

Recent posts on the blog

Feel free to check out some of the other posts on my blog:

Mental Health, self-care, World Mental Health Day 2022

Reflecting On My Tough Mental Breakdown Journey

9 October 2022 , 36 Comments

My mental breakdown happened in May 2021. A culmination of a difficult pregnancy, work stress, birth trauma, no self-care whatsoever, lack of sleep for a prolonged period and caring for a small child. I found the whole period overwhelming and there were not enough hours in a day to juggle the unmanageable load. The breaking point seemed to come when my workplace started adding too much pressure on everyone. Up until this point I was keeping my head above water, even though hindsight tells me it wasn’t a healthy way of living.

You have some pretty random thoughts when you’re in the midst of a mental breakdown and you cannot decipher fiction from reality. All the thoughts passing through your mind become your reality and you rely on the people closest to you to tell you which ones you should listen to.

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mental breakdown journey

mental breakdown journey

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion and I know some people are dubious about awareness days. I totally agree with the point that mental health should be spoken about every. single. day. However, I will use awareness days to talk about my own personal experience. If one person who wasn’t aware of my situation, learns something new, I am happy. For me, it is all about raising awareness. In the hope that one day in the future, these small actions will amount to huge systematic changes.

Today I want to talk to you about where I am with my mental health journey and how long it took to be well again

Full system reboot

In previous blog posts, I discussed the feeling of my brain switching off and it couldn’t be restarted again. Throughout the aftermath of my mental breakdown, I spent my days pretty much switched off completely. Sitting on the sofa for hours on end, watching TV, but not really paying attention to anything. There was no sense of time. Depression made my cheeks hurt. I never thought you could get a cheek ache from a sad face, but you can.

My friends and family were very adamant about the fact I should continue a “normal” routine. I hate that word, because what is normal? It has a different meaning for each individual and I think the word acts as an unattainable standard. This is true in my life, anyway, so I avoid using the word.

Battling with your own mind is a daily challenge

During this period of recovery, every action, movement, and the daily task was a challenge. I had to work myself up to get a bath. My hubby pretty much forced me to go on a long walk one day and it took every ounce of energy I had to get out of the house. I still look at these pictures and remember the pain and general numbness I felt.

@mummyconqueringan
As it’s #worldmentalhealthday tomorrow, I’ve written a blog post reflecting on my journey, from mental breakdown to present day! Check it out over on the blog 💚 #mentalhealth #mentalhealthmatters #mentalhealthawareness #selflove #selfcare #hope #rockbottom #struggle #progress #mummyblogger #mummyanddaughter #mumsoftiktok #mums
♬ This Is Not the End (Speech on Depression & Mental Health) – Fearless Soul

Childcare and mental illness

During this period, I absolutely focused my energy on looking after my little one, on the days she didn’t attend nursery. But, sometimes I just didn’t have the resources and therefore a lot of it fell to my hubby and parents to help out.

She also knew something was wrong and would come and “look after” me. Young children have a sixth sense and they can pick up on emotions, even if you think you’re hiding them well. I still feel mum-guilt for taking time out for self-care, sometimes. Especially napping in the afternoon if I need to. I’ve come to realise there are precautions I need to take in order to maintain a good standard of mental well-being. And I will always be honest with my little one, about emotions and why self-care is needed. Parents cannot parent well if we don’t look after ourselves. It’s a constant battle.

Bringing me back to life

My family and friends surrounded me with love, but I was emotional, worn down, and temperamental. It would be months before I had my life back, my personality and gained a sense of identity again. Depression strips you of all these things. The system reboot is what it says on the tin. You are stripped back to factory settings. A blank canvas. And hitting rock bottom is a horrible experience. But there is hope. Things can get better. But I won’t lie and say it is easy. It is one of the hardest things I’ve done in my life.

mental breakdown journey

The self-care routine that helped

During this period I was off work, and largely by myself, whilst everyone around me went about their daily lives. I spent my days having long baths, using all my trusted self-care products. My local park became my haven and I would sit on a particular bench, soaking up nature, thinking about life and watching the world go by. A world I wasn’t fully part of yet. In my mind, I was a bystander, invisible to everyone else.

My friends and family were very adamant about the fact I should continue a “normal” routine. I hate that word, because what is normal? It has a different meaning for each individual and I think the word acts as an unattainable standard. This is true in my life, anyway, so I avoid using the word.

I honestly never thought of the secondary impacts of being depressed. But there are so many. As the money organiser of the house, being switched off, reset, and rebooted isn’t exactly great for maintaining a household, or remembering to pay bills. I just didn’t care about organising life anymore. And it impacted our family.

I started baking to bring myself back to life and clinging onto anything I previously loved, to ignite a passion. To bring back a spark. But I still felt unhappy, and numb. I had affirmation cards and motivational quotes scattered around the house. These massively helped and I still use them to this day. I even visited the local spirit church, in the hope of finding some peace. It worked.

Toxic workplace culture

Reluctant to carry on as normal, when I was off work due to mental health problems, I was scared and filled with irrational fears. What if someone from work sees me? What would they think? Looking back, these thoughts were the negative anxiety voice in my head. And they were created from working in toxic workplace cultures for so long. Something I will never go back to!

Dichiperhing fiction and reality

My family were right. Normality, routine and self-care were all needed. A focus on my health, not the workplace which had basically sent me to this negative place in my mind. Why on earth did I still want to focus on them? But the mind does this. You have some pretty random thoughts when you’re in the midst of a mental breakdown and you cannot decipher fiction from reality. All the thoughts passing through your mind become your reality and you rely on the people closest to you to tell you which ones you should listen to.

What mental illness really looks like

I see a lot of debate on this. The answer – every single person will be impacted by mental illness differently. I hid my anxiety for years. therefore I looked fine. But I wasn’t. That said, I look back at the photos just after my mental breakdown and I remember how I felt. Going through them today actually makes me quite sad. I need to not dwell on them for too long.

The photos show bad skin, a blank look behind the eyes, and tiredness. Throughout my journey back to recovery, I sometimes compared these pictures with ones where I looked slightly happier. To me, it meant progress. When you’re in the midst of recovery, it is sometimes difficult to see any progress and look at the situation objectively.

There was an element of ‘putting on a brave face’ for my little one. But mostly, I accepted my situation and allowed myself to feel the pain and numbness. Something I had masked for so long was finally let out! In order to heal, you have to acknowledge your situation. And I had battled with anxiety for too long.

The journey back to life

I still have gripes about the NHS and the procedures in place to help someone who has suffered a mental breakdown. Looking back, the doctors didn’t really focus on support around me and my circumstances. I didn’t feel heard, or looked after. A doctor pretty much told me they cannot be responsible for me staying off work any longer and I would have to take it up with my workplace. A workplace they knew had put me in this situation and was not helping me during the period of time I was unwell. During telephone calls with the doctor, I was distressed, and emotional, asking for help. And I felt like a burden. They made me feel like I was being dishonest to get time off work.

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Systematic change in mental health care

It is important to say, I know NHS staff are overworked, unpaid and bound by ridiculous policies. However, they are also human beings. For anyone who watched the recent Panorama documentary, when did we stop caring for other human beings, just because we have a certain job title?

I am writing this post today because there is clearly a lot of work to be done around mental health awareness. A systematic change must happen.

I’ve accepted I will never be fully healed. We are all a work in progress and life will continue to throw us challenges. Our job is to work on how we respond to adversity.

Allowing adequate time for recovery

At the time of writing this post, it has taken me a total of 18 months to consider myself fully recovered from my mental breakdown. Our financial circumstances took a hit as a result. I was expected to return to work, by both the workplace and the NHS when I wasn’t ready or well enough to. Why aren’t we looking after people who find themselves in this position? Both in the respect of health and finances. If you had a broken leg, your sick note would be issued for longer, without question and I am sure you would be entitled to some sort of financial help. Arguably, fighting a battle with your mind is worse than a physical ailment. So why as a society do we treat people with mental illness so unfairly?

Finances and mental health

I honestly never thought of the secondary impacts of being depressed. But there are so many. As the money organiser of the house, being switched off, reset, and rebooted isn’t exactly great for maintaining a household, or remembering to pay bills. I just didn’t care about organising life anymore. And it impacted our family. If you or your family are impacted by similar issues, Mind has a great section on how mental health can impact finances and vice versa.

Where am I in my life now?

At this point, I finally feel somewhat recovered. My hypnotherapy course has provided the tools I need to move forward with a weekly self-care routine. It’s a way I can look after my mind and keep myself healthy. I’ve accepted I will never be fully healed. We are all a work in progress and life will continue to throw us challenges. Our job is to work on how we respond to adversity.

Reading and writing help me and I am busy managing three blogs, launching a Gumroad shop and a T-shirt business.

I also finally feel able to take on more hours at work and look to the future. But also keep in mind that my family life is a priority as well. This being the case, I am taking steps to plan our next five years as a family. We need slightly more money to set in motion everything we want to achieve. But I still want us both to have one day per week with my little one. And of course, a family day together.

Final thoughts

Ultimately, hitting rock bottom allows you to create a blank canvas. You start afresh with brand-new building blocks. And you have the power to change things in your life that no longer serve you.

It’s strange to say this, but hitting rock bottom has transformed my life. Would I choose this experience if I could go back? No! But am I thankful for it? Yes.

mummy conquering anxiety

Gaming, Guest posts, Mental Health, wellness

5 amazing benefits of social media on mental health

11 April 2022 , 11 Comments

I want to say thank you to Chloe from Nyxie’s Nook for this amazing guest post. I personally found social media to be the most amazing, supportive community following my mental breakdown and I definitely needed it. This post outlines the reasons it can be helpful for mental wellbeing.

Let’s dive in

Social media has long since been branded as hazardous to our mental and physical health. For those within a certain age bracket, it’s seen as something akin to the fall of socialisation. We constantly hear about children as young as six becoming addicted to social media, or adults missing the world around them because their nose is stuck in their phones.

But what about the positive side of social media? If we look beyond the addiction and online trolls, social media has helped shape the 21st century into a more inclusive place to be.

For a long time, we’ve been under the assumption that asking for help is a weak or attention-seeking behaviour. But with the help of social media, we’re now much further forward in realising that speaking up about our issues is an act of strength.

benefits of social media

—

5 Positive aspects of social media

Social media can be a great way to raise awareness, bring communities together and help those less fortunate.

Before the use of the internet and social media, we all seemed so far away. America, Japan, England, Finland; We were all divided by oceans, land and borders. With the use of the internet and, in turn, social media we’re able to raise awareness for issues that would otherwise be limited by location. By using social media we can reach other, like-minded people who can help spread awareness among their own communities and so on.

We’re better able to keep in touch with our loved ones, arrange online catch-ups and even play virtual games.

With so much of the world in lockdown at different times and for various levels of COVID-19, many of us have become separated from our families and peers. And with the current state of things here in the UK, our isolation isn’t set to end any time soon. The internet and social media have become a way for us to socialize, catch up and even watch movies together while staying safely apart.

Netflix has created their Netflix party to help socially distanced subscribers to watch television shows and movies together. Zoom has become the number one go-to video chatting application for social catch-ups to business meetings. Instagram, Facebook and Twitter also deserve honourable mention for helping us keep in touch and meet like-minded people who are better able to help and support us. Some of the most trusting and inspirational people I know were found via social media!

Finally, although not specifically on social media, as an avid gamer I find the use of online resources helpful in finding gaming partners. There are various places online to connect and even chat with gamers worldwide. I’ve met so many people through my love for Animal Crossing and The Sims. I’m in various community groups online where I can chat about the games, get information, tips and advice, and even swap friend codes.

benefits of social media

Of course, this is all done from a safe distance and, as an adult, I’m aware of the danger of meeting others online. If you have a teenager or even a child who frequently games with others online, it’s suggested that you keep an eye on their activity. Have a chat with them about online safety and take an interest in what they’re doing without being overly critical.

Social media can be a welcome distraction from the outside world or a devastating realisation of the world around us

Social media has acted as a means for me to distract myself from the goings-on around me, but it’s also been there to remind me of the harsh realities of the world around us. Without it, I doubt I would be kept as informed as I am. I avoid the news at all costs and have long since stopped trusting state-funded news reports. So various online sources, social media included, have been my direct link to COVID-19 news, election updates and even any new information being spread in regards to mental health services in my local area.

In regards to acting as a distraction, by frequently visiting social media and getting to know others online, I’ve been able to build a small support network. This support network is usually biased and helps distract me just by chatting about things other than what’s on my mind.

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Social media has helped to normalise help-seeking behaviour

For a long time, we’ve been under the assumption that asking for help is a weak or attention-seeking behaviour. But with the help of social media, we’re now much further forward in realising that speaking up about our issues is an act of strength. Many adults and young people are coming forward to encourage others to ask for help for things such as mental illness, grief, sexual assault etc. No longer are these things taboo, rather, we’re unified in our need to speak up!

Social media can offer a creative outlet

Much like writing a blog or sketching in a notebook, creating social media posts can act as a creative outlet but on a much smaller scale. The likes of Instagram are especially good for displaying things such as photography and artwork, while Tik Tok is for the videographer in all of us. Others can view your work, like, share and even become inspired. But, of course, it’s not always about the number of likes and engagement you get. So long as you’re careful about how you manage your life on social media, it can be a wonderful place to find and hone your creative voice.

What are your thoughts on social media and its impacts? Do you feel that it’s a positive, negative or a bit of both? How do you use social media and how do you protect your mental health when using it?

Final thoughts from me

I agree with all these benefits and I hope you enjoyed reading the post. All the details you need to connect with Chloe are below. Please go check out her blog, show some love, comment on posts and do what we do best in the blogging community, interact and show support.

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Mental Health, Tools for managing anxiety

Tackling Constant What-Ifs With Simple Practices

16 June 2022 , 0 comments

Anxiety is a form of stress. However, they are not the same. It is not uncommon for people who experience an extremely stressful situation to believe they have seen and survived anxiety. Dealing with high stress deserves all the respect in the world. But the main difference between anxiety and stress is that stress tends to have a tangible trigger, such as an urgent work project, for example.

Anxiety, on the other hand, has long forgotten its trigger. Someone who has gone through a disturbing experience that was stressful at the time could develop an anxiety disorder as a response, which means they could get anxious reminiscing about their previous experience, facing a new situation that shares common points with their experience, or even imagining what would happen if they were to go through the same thing again. Anxiety is the world where what-if questions live. Unfortunately, what ifs have no trigger. So, the typical advice to avoid triggers may not be useful at all.

How do you manage the what-if scenarios in day-to-day life?

Learn to know your mind

Controlling your mind is an impossible challenge. However, getting to know what makes you feel vulnerable and which mindset can influence your what-ifs could be a game-changer. That is precisely where keeping a journal can make a huge difference to your anxiety. Indeed, a journal allows you to play out some of the possible scenarios safely while reminding yourself of the positive things in your life. Listing the good and happy things in your life can help significantly. It is easy to lose yourself in the distress of a what-if narrative. But the positive aspects of your life can act as sanity lights that take you back to safety.

Besides, a journal can also let you track mood swings and habits, so you can identify times when you are more susceptible to anxiety.

tackling

Talk about it

What makes anxiety especially difficult to manage is social and emotional isolation. Anxiety can cut you off from your friend and family circle as you find it hard to express your thoughts and be heard. As such, what ifs drive loneliness? Being alone with your thoughts is never easy, especially when your thoughts get the best of you. Unfortunately, very few friends are mentally and emotionally astute about the stages of anxiety. But talking with someone who understands what you are going through and isn’t going to judge you for it can transform your experience. Expert psychologists at Three Seas have developed dedicated programmes to provide counselling and telehealth to their clients. Finding a therapist you can trust to manage and control what-if scenarios will offer the support you need to:

Free yourself from the spiralling anxiety trap
Learn to recognise dangerous thinking habits
Unlock your courage by voicing out your fears
Discuss potential techniques and coping mechanisms that could help in the future
Talk medication if needs be — why suffer alone when there are solutions out there?

What ifs are the enemy of an anxious mind. But, every enemy, ever the most fearsome ones, has weaknesses. What ifs lose their power when you can recognise them for what they are, name them, understand which habits grant them power, and ultimately remind yourself that they don’t control you. Is it easy? No, it never is. But, hopefully, these tips can help you feel less vulnerable to their soul-crushing darkness.

tackling

Mental Health, Mindset change

My New Beginning Following A Mental Breakdown

9 May 2022 , 34 Comments

**Post updated – 14 July 2022**

#MentalHealthAwarenessWeek

#StressAwarenessMonth

#MentalHealthAwarenessMonth

In true Mummy Conquering Anxiety fashion, I wanted to post something real and honest for Mental Health Awareness Week this year! I want to remind you all, these posts are hard for me to write and probably, for you to hear. However, the topic is relevant and important. Creating my new beginning, in respect of my career, was the best thing I ever did. And I know other people are experiencing the same treatment at work.

I second guess myself about whether I should publish these posts and therefore, this one has been in the pipeline for a while. However, now is the right time to release this post. Because my work situation is now vastly different. I am a different person, with a different outlook. BUT I will always be a mental health advocate.

my new beginning

The back story

Here goes. I wrote this post a while ago, as a means of getting through one of the most stressful times in my life. As it happens, changing my situation was also the most life-changing.

Following total burnout in my job, I suffered a complete mental breakdown. Cue falling to the floor, tears, not making any sense. Like someone switched off my brain. And it wouldn’t restart. At the time, I didn’t want it to. It was the lowest point of my life. I’d suffered from low points with my mental health in the past. High anxiety levels and depression were common in times of stress, but it was never this bad.

The culture must change. We can no longer pile an unreasonable amount of pressure on employees and expect them not to eventually burn out.

My personal experience

The return to work – almost at my new beginning

Following months’ off work and pressure to return, I went back into the workplace. And eagerly awaited a redundancy date. Having an end date in sight, kept me going.

Ultimately, I was temporarily throwing myself back into a situation where miscommunication and downright rudeness in the workplace, had led me to a mental breakdown. Going back into that situation, for even a day, was going to be a mammoth task. Remember when I returned, I didn’t know how long I would stay in the role. And I don’t do very well with the unknown. It’s one of the biggest drivers of my anxiety. Knowing where I stand and having a routine helps keep it under control.

My life is different and much happier, and I now have support in my new workplace. And I am thankful for the journey because it taught me so much about my mental strength in challenging times.

Getting back into it

Upon my return, I was left alone for the first month, with everyone telling me “we want to make sure you’re okay“, “bear in mind your mental health” and I knew it was bullshit. It was a line they had to say to appear supportive. That’s what some workplaces do. In this day and age, for some businesses, it’s all talk, no action. And I think it’s despicable. I would rather the business be honest and not have a mental health policy at all, rather than provide empty words on such an important topic.

Jobless, ‘unemployed’ was soon going to be my label. All of a sudden I felt a lack of self-confidence. A lack of security. An urge to review my money situation and sort out bills that still needed paying, with one less income. But I still had not recovered fully and didn’t have the energy. A battle between wanting to prioritise myself for once, but lacking the motivation to do so.

I hope EVERYONE starts to place the same physical illness value on mental illness. Especially after we’ve all endured so much trauma lately.

Poor management

Another factor in all my previous job roles, was a lack of knowledge at the top. Yes, managers are there to manage, not necessarily understand how to do your job. But if they don’t have a clue about the work the people they are supposed to be supporting do daily, what’s the point? How will they ever recognise the stress triggers of overworked staff? How do they even know what too much work is?

From a human perspective, we should all be able to communicate appropriately with someone whos suffered a mental breakdown. But this takes training and awareness!

I’ve written previously about how I witnessed rude, biased, and bullying behaviour in workplaces I was part of, and this spans my whole working life. Although I wouldn’t relive the pandemic if I had a choice, I do hope it’s brought significant changes to the office environment in the UK. The culture must change. We can no longer pile an unreasonable amount of pressure on employees and expect them not to eventually burn out.

Where it all went wrong

My first anxiety-filled morning began a while after I returned to work. When you’re constantly having to justify yourself and the work you are completing, it is exhausting. This is what I was being asked to do on this occasion and given my mental health history, I think there was a better way of doing things.

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My thoughts in hindsight

Throughout all of this, I do have some grasp of the fact that employees in the department were under daily stress because of an impending redundancy and I take on board the fact this can impact a person’s behaviour. But it still doesn’t make poor behaviour towards staff correct. And it certainly doesn’t help my already fragile anxiety levels. From a human perspective, we should all be able to communicate appropriately with someone whos suffered a mental breakdown. But this takes training and awareness!

The redundancy announcement

It is hurtful when you’ve invested so much time and energy into your career and it comes to an end in this way. My heart goes out to anyone whos been through or is currently going through a redundancy process.

On the day I found out our redundancy date, I felt numb. I thought I would feel differently. It felt just like any other announcement. Following my mental health struggles, I couldn’t be bothered sorting out the admin and conversations involved in leaving. I wouldn’t feel satisfied until I had left the company and the redundancy money was in my bank.

Jobless, ‘unemployed’ was soon going to be my label. All of a sudden I felt a lack of self-confidence. A lack of security. An urge to review my money situation and sort out bills that still needed paying, with one less income. But I still had not recovered fully and didn’t have the energy. A battle between wanting to prioritise myself for once, but lacking the motivation to do so.

10 days to go – the worst 10 days of my life

10 days to go. Then I would be unemployed. Something I never anticipated I would be happy about. Finally, done and dusted with the workplace that I once loved, but then also caused me unreasonable amounts of stress.

To deal with the anger, I started journaling my feelings. I thought, what’s the point in stressing about this when I had 10 days to go. But bear in mind, that I was now a different person. More protective of my mental health. I viewed life differently. It was great I had grown in confidence to change the situation that broke me. But I was still in the situation that broke me. And I was still facing the same daily battles that sent me to hell and back.

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Looking back

Maybe these heightened feelings are normal for anyone going through a redundancy process. It’s probably just part of the process and how your mind accepts the huge change which will be happening to you at any moment. A moment someone else chooses, usually based on money-making and not paying any attention to your life.

The current employment situation in the UK

I can tell you, from my recent experience of visiting the job centre, unstable job conditions have impacted a lot of people and the department is inundated. The knock-on effect of COVID, and greedy CEOs making reckless decisions, together with a failing economy, have created a recipe for disaster. And it’s set to get even worse!

Yes, there are jobs out there, but the game has changed. I’m hoping the shift will eventually benefit office workers and companies to start to value mental health. I hope EVERYONE starts to place the same physical illness value on mental illness. Especially after we’ve all endured so much trauma lately.

my new beginning

Download the mental health check-in sheet

Mental health check-in Download

You may have questions

Some of you might be asking why I went back to the workplace at all. Well, I wanted and deserved the redundancy payment. I also deserved to be treated like a human being. Bear in mind, that I am an advocate for mental well-being and society ditching the stigma those with mental illnesses suffer. I couldn’t just let this situation slide, without showing up and standing up for myself. In turn, I felt like I was also standing up for other people.

I considered raising concerns, then I weighed this up against the mental exhaustion this would exert and the potential of really gaining anything. In the end, I cut my losses and decided to start putting my energy into my new life.

Work should be a complementary part of our lives, not the thing that makes it unliveable
Huffington Post

my new beginning

How my experience applies to all workplaces

Mental health training in the workplace

TO clarify, I’m all for mental health training in the workplace. But it has to be great training, run by people who’ve experienced dealing with a mental health crisis first hand. It can’t just be another set of standard lines companies use to protect themselves.

Trusted training resources

Mind conducts workplace training and I would trust them as a great resource. It’s also great to see the training by Rethink Mental Illness had input from people with lived experience. There are also other smaller companies running mental health training and there is value out there.

Workplaces – please create a different process for mental health absences

Another significant issue that made me feel like my mental illness wasn’t valid, was the return to work process. Workplaces need to create different policies for mental health circumstances. As they would do a terminal illness or a bereavement. Any other unusual situation, which doesn’t fit into the category of physical health.

My hope for HR departments in the future

Whilst I don’t have personal experience of it, I hope other employers are already doing the great things I’ve suggested. I hope this blog post doesn’t need to be read by most companies, but my own experience was just a stand-alone negative one. In conducting some research for this post I found this promising article about HR awards won by a building society. I wish all businesses would adopt this approach.

It’s also important for HR to check the company ethos is being implemented in all departments. And ensure there isn’t a disconnect between individual departments.

The main point

My life is different and much happier, and I now have support in my new workplace. And I am thankful for the journey because it taught me so much about my mental strength in challenging times.

Worrying statistics

The statistics for mental health-related absences in the UK look grim. And some of the research was conducted pre-pandemic. Arguably, we are in a worse position currently. Worst still, people are sometimes dismissed as a result of their mental health struggles.

How can we continue to accept this treatment?

my new beginning

One final note about burnout

Whilst I am still trying to make sense of what happened to me, I faced complete burnout as a result of overdoing it. I want to take this opportunity to tell all my readers this is not the way you have to live. Yes, we all need money. Both I and my hubby have to work to pay bills and live, but it is possible to balance this with looking after your mental health.

My wish for the future is that employers become the ones who prioritise this on behalf of their employees. And they avoid creating a culture where people feel they need to do more for the same money. Employ more staff, reduce the workload, and spend money to ease pressure on your staff!

Will you ever recover from burnout? I have. Granted, I am not the same person I was before. I now take less rubbish and I know, my boundaries. I won’t ever allow a repeat of this situation.

Final thoughts

This is my journal of a tough time in my life. In keeping with the theme of this blog, I wanted to share this with you because I want to help other people in the same situation. I want other people to realise they are not alone. Thankfully, I have recently started a new chapter in my career and I am in a better place.

Let time know what you think of the post in the comments below. I would love to hear from you.

Because this is such an emotive issue for me, it would be great to hear from anyone who can relate. Your comments are much appreciated and it helps me and other people know we are not alone in our struggles.

Family, Mental Health, Parenting tips, Relationships, Toddlers

How to Explore Emotions With Your Toddler

28 September 2022 , 27 Comments

It is a proven fact, that the early years of our lives shape who we are and how well we cope with challenges in adult life. A traumatic experience in childhood can have lasting effects. Exploring emotions is vital.

All human beings have emotions. They start to develop at an early age, often when toddlers don’t really understand what they are yet. The common one in our house at the moment is missing other people. This involves a daily conversation filled with reassurance, that everyone misses the people they love.

Because toddler emotions are a challenge I currently face. And I know other parents definitely go through this cycle, I wanted to write a post dedicated to the best stories I could find, discussing children’s emotions.

Quick note: Mummy Conquering Anxiety is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program. Some of the links contained on this page are affiliate links and if you go through them to make a purchase, I will earn a commission. I only recommend products I use myself and think would be useful for other people

Let’s look at the research into why we should explore emotions

Why emotions are important

Understanding children’s emotions are critical to understanding their behaviour. Early years children feel a range of emotions, but often cannot express, interpret or process them like us.

With poor emotional skills, it could be harder for children to learn:

acceptance
resilience
confidence and control
how to articulate experiences
a sense of identity
empathy
a sense of self

What Is Social and Emotional Development

Children grow and develop rapidly in their first five years across the four main areas of development. These areas are motor (physical), communication and language, cognitive, social and emotional.

Social and emotional development means how children start to understand who they are, what they are feeling and what to expect when interacting with others. It is the development of being able to:

Form and sustain positive relationships.
Experience, manage and express emotions.
Explore and engage with the environment.

Positive social and emotional development is important. This development influences a child’s self-confidence, empathy, the ability to develop meaningful and lasting friendships and partnerships, and a sense of importance and value to those around them. Children’s social and emotional development also influences all other areas of development.

Parents and caregivers play the biggest role in social/emotional development because they offer the most consistent relationships for their children. Consistent experiences with family members, teachers and other adults help children learn about relationships and explore emotions in predictable interactions.

To nurture your child’s social and emotional development, it is important that you engage in quality interactions like these on a daily basis, depending on the age of your child:

Be affectionate and nurturing: hold, comfort, talk and sing with your baby, toddler and child.
Help your baby experience joy in “give-and-take” relationships by playing games like “peek-a-boo.”
Provide your toddler with responsive care, letting them practice new skills while still providing hands-on help.
Support your child’s developing skills; help him/her, but don’t do everything for your child, even if it takes longer or is messy.
Teach social and emotional skills, such as taking turns, listening and resolving conflict.

What happens if we don’t manage emotions

One of the most important ways parents or guardians can help is by listening to their children and taking their feelings seriously. They may want a hug, they may want you to help them change something or they may want practical help.
Children and young people’s negative feelings usually pass. However, it’s a good idea to get help if your child is distressed for a long time if their feelings are stopping them from getting on with their lives, if their distress is disrupting family life or if they are repeatedly behaving in ways you wouldn’t expect at their age.
Mentalhealth.org.uk

Let’s dive into the list of stories that explore emotions with toddlers and children

Explore Emotions

What’s Troubling Tawny?

What’s Troubling Tawny? The award-winning second book in the Sumatran Trilogy! Tawny longs to make friends with another rhino, but her shyness holds her back. When she meets a hornbill called Tallulah, she is surprised to learn that she has a lot in common with the beautiful bird.

The Problem With Poppy

Poppy the porcupine has always wanted to make a friend, but her defensive nature prevents her. When a young tiger cub stumbles upon her one day in the rainforest, she reacts badly and scares him away.

Determined to change her ways, she sets out to find him, but little does she know that the tiger cub is about to have a problem of his own. In the face of danger, will Poppy find a way to save the day?

The Problem with Poppy is the award-winning debut picture book by British author Emma Sandford. Illustrated by Ukrainian artist Olena Osadcha.

Sarah’s Shadow

If you could change something about yourself, would you do it?

When Sarah Simpkins is teased about her shadow in the school playground, she finds herself wishing she didn’t have one.

That night she has the chance to make the wish come true. But will losing her shadow really make her happy?

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Let’s Be Friends Again

Purchase the book below:

Let’s Be Friends Again

Kids World Books – Sibling fights, tantrums and subsequent bonding is the theme of this story.

The story is narrated by a boy and he narrates rather than shares his experiences with his sister. The boy and the girl play together. They spend most of their leisure time together. Just like every sibling, they fight often and bond subsequently.

The boy finds some trouble with his sister. The boy sometimes babysits for his sister and she used to trouble him! However, she was a good listener and the boy used to tell some great stories. The boy refused to share his toys with her. Yet, the smart girl used to grab all her brother’s toys. The tantrum began when the girl played with his brother’s pet turtle!

The girl thought that the tank where the pet turtle was kept was too small for the turtle. She carried it to the pond and let it free in the pond.

The boy was as angry as he lost his pet turtle. He showed his anger in many ways. He shouted at her. He threw away his toys and kept on thinking about his turtle. His parents supported his sister. He planned to avenge the loss of his pet and imagined many things. (This is definitely a fun part that everyone would die laughing).

He couldn’t sleep for hours thinking about the pet. He then saw his sister playing in the garden so happy like never before. The boy was surprised as well as very angry seeing her sister happy.

He made a decision! What was that?

Let’s be friends again, the lovable brother and sister, their cute fights, rivalry, etc are narrated beautifully. It happens very commonly in every household.

Children and young people are still developing – they don’t have adult brains or bodies, so need help to understand and manage their emotions.
You’ve probably heard your parents or grandparents say “they’re just attention seeking” or “they’re being difficult”. But there’s usually more to it than this.
We often ask people who contact Children 1st Parentline: “What is your child trying to tell you when they’re acting like that?” Looked at this way, unwanted behaviour is usually about a child needing something – or their way of trying to work out how to manage something.
From a toddler’s need for comfort to a teenager’s conflicting desires for independence and security, testing behaviour is common and is often set off by everyday experiences rather than big events.
Children1st.org.uk

When Worley gets Brave

Explore Emotions

READ ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

Jodi also thinks the book will come just at the right time for children who have had to shut themselves away all year and might be scared to try something new.

She added: “It is a lovely story for 4–7-year-olds about taking yourself out of your comfort zone to try new things.

“Worley’s story is a fab way to engage children with these cute little monsters and learn how to develop their confidence.

“The book also included suggested activities for parent and adult readers.

“I’m also now writing my second story for the series about Worley and Co!

When Worley gets Angry

Explore Emotions

How to teach children how to deal with anger, through the character of Worley and his friends.

READ ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

She has produced books – which tell the story of very special monsters who face different emotions – in her efforts to help children talk about their feelings.

“Having suffered quite a bit as a kid – I lost my dad at 10 and my best friend at 14 – and had a lot of bullying and not nice things going on and I didn’t know how to cope,” she explained.

“That had a massive effect on me as an adult which led to a breakdown. I don’t want kids to go through what I did. The more people I can teach and I can help the better. I don’t think I would have had as big a meltdown if I already had tools to use.

“My characters are all monsters – I have a whole tribe of emotions monsters that teach children about emotions. Worley is the main one and he meets his friends with different emotions.

“The first one was teaching him to be brave and through the monster, you learn you might make a mistake but it will be fine. He realises he doesn’t need to be the best at everything.

“The second book is about anger. The book is written as a rhyme; basically, Worley gets angry and doesn’t know what it is. His friend George, the angry monster, teaches him it is ok to be angry and how to manage it.

“It is done in quite a fun way so children can understand.”

Explore Emotions

Buster Finds His Beat

Purchase the book below:

Buster Finds His Beat

A feel-good story about an autistic boy,
That will capture your imagination and fill you with joy.

Buster uses ear defenders to soften sounds he hears,
Find out what happens when he faces his fears…

Pick up your copy, you’ll be in for a treat,
As he uses the power of sound to find his own beat.

Explore Emotions

Hector

The first book in a new rhyming picture book series from D.M. Mullan and Kirsteen Harris Jones – welcome to D.M. Mullan’s Curious Tales… Hector van Groat If something is missing, and you’re feeling blue, you could learn from Hector, who feels this way too. This little genius lives in an upside-down boat, and he grunts from his hill like a grumpy old goat. “Hector van Groat needs no one but Hector because he is a genius, a crazy inventor”.

Explore Emotions

Where Is My Smile?

A beautifully illustrated picture book about mental health for young readers. Where Is My Smile? is the story of a little boy who can’t find his smile anywhere. He searches and searches, but it’s nowhere to be found. Where could his smile be? This delightful picture book is perfect as a bedtime story, and to help little children understand that it’s okay to be sad sometimes, but we can always find our way through it.

Final Thoughts

I hope you enjoyed reading my list of books to inspire conversations with your toddler about emotions.

Do you have any of these books? Or will you be purchasing them? What techniques do you use to explore emotions?

I would love to hear from you in the comments below.

Explore Emotions

Mental Health, self-care, Tools for managing anxiety, wellness

10 Ways To Improve Your Mental Well-being In Winter

28 November 2022 , 8 Comments

I don’t always want to put the work in to protect my mental health. Keeping on top of it sometimes becomes a chore and the rebellious side of my personality wants to give up. But I don’t! Whilst I have weeks where I am just not feeling it. If I don’t have time for self-care, I usually catch myself and urgently utilise some much-needed mental well-being techniques I have in my toolbox.

I would encourage anyone else out to keep maintaining a good standard of mental well-being. Especially during the winter months.

Why do we as humans know how to physically rest, but we have a problem with guilt when it comes to looking after our mental health?

Quick note: Some of the links contained on this page are affiliate links. If you go through an affiliate link to make a purchase, I will earn a commission. I only recommend products I use myself and think would be helpful for other people.

mental well-being

You might have already seen my TikTok where I talk about my current feelings. I can’t shake the feeling of wanting to hibernate until March 2023. I feel lower than usual and have to work harder than ever to keep my head above water.

I’ve written on the blog before about Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) and how this can have an impact on our mental health.

I already have anxiety problems, which can sometimes lead to low periods and depression.

As I said in the TikTok video, each year I forget just how bad I feel. Lack of vitamin D, limited natural light and horrible, cold weather can impact our bodies negatively. Which can lead to implications for our mental and emotional well-being.

Here are my tips for maintaining a good standard of mental well-being during the winter months, including some worksheets to help you…

@mummyconqueringan
As of last weekend, I definitely feel pretty low mentally. Especially when it’s dark all day & the rain won’t stop. At this point, I feel like it will rain until March 2023 & I just want to hide under the duvet until then. For anyone currently feeling the same, some helpful tips will be posted on the blog over the weekend. Hope it helps ❤️❤️❤️ #mentalhealth #mentalhealthmatters #mentalhealthawareness #sad #seasonaldepression
♬ Chill Vibes – Tollan Kim

1. MAKE time for self-care

I know it’s challenging to fit in time for self-care. And society still holds the opinion that resting and relaxing is wasting your time or pure laziness. This couldn’t be further from the truth!

Not looking after myself or getting enough sleep for a few months, led me to have a full mental breakdown. It then took me 18 months to fully recover.

If you’re a gym goer, you will understand rest days. Similarly, if you walk a lot for your job, you sit down at night and physically rest. Why do we as humans know how to physically rest, but we have a problem with guilt when it comes to looking after our mental health?

Make some time. Even five minutes can help you. I am now well-practised at meditation and can complete a hypnotherapy recording in five minutes. It may not seem like a lot of time, but it helps.

2. Plan in self-care time to avoid burnout

Felling low, and becoming irritable can creep up on us and we don’t always consciously know what’s happening. Allocating specific days and times for self-care can help.

I personally tell my hubby in advance that I will need childcare cover. To complete the hypnotherapy mediations, I then find a quiet room and some time to myself, without a toddler bothering me. I dedicate at least 90% of my time to her care, needs and spending time as a family. 20-30 minutes to refresh myself isn’t a lot to ask. And we shouldn’t feel guilty as parents when we need to ask for this time out.

3. Use some tools to assist you in your journey

Because of my history of mental health problems, I now have a toolkit on hand for my low moments. These are some of the things in there:

Meditation recordings saved to my phone

Mental health apps on my phone

Anxiety workbooks on the shelf next to where I work at home

Adult colouring books on my desk

I always stock up on bathtime self-care products

Candles, wax melts, burners

My light therapy box

Light Therapy Box

Salt Lamp

Blankets, fluffy dressing gown

mental well-being — Some of the things which make me feel better

4. Talk to someone

In the mental health community, we all know talking to someone can be powerful. And it helps. In the aftermath of my mental breakdown, making connections with like-minded people, pulled me out of the fog and allowed me to move forward.

You might be reluctant to make social connections and I know the feeling of just wanting to hide away. But please talk to someone if you need to!

5. Change your routine

Stepping outside your comfort zone and doing something you wouldn’t normally do, can help break the depression cycle in your brain. For me, it became sitting in the local park, soaking in nature and literally putting myself back together.

Even walking a different way home from the park, during those dark moments in my mind, helped me. I felt very much like my brain wouldn’t reboot. But these different habits started to fill me with confidence and allowed me to think slightly differently. Gain a new perspective on life.

6. Do some exercise

Exercise alone won’t cure you of your mental struggles, but it will help you to feel better along the way. During those dark days, it can get you moving and out of the house. And slowly, you start to tackle other challenges.

Here are some other resources on the blog which may be helpful for you:

BLOG POST – 12 BOOKS & COURSES FOR MANAGING ANXIETY

In this post, I include some great books about managing anxiety, written by those with lived experience. There are also some great workbooks to manage stress, which I still use to this day!

RESOURCES PAGE – TOOLS FOR MANAGING ANXIETY

This page features a range of workbooks that I personally use. And a summary of all the mental health-related blogs I have written previously.

RESOURCES PAGE – PARENTING RESOURCES

Parenting is a challenging time. Lack of sleep, a completely new routine and not having a clue how to look after a child, can all take a toll. I am actively adding to this page for any parents out there who may be struggling,

RESOURCES PAGE – THE PERMA HYPNOTHERAPY SERIES

On this page, I share my journey of completing a Perma hypnotherapy course. And how it benefitted me massively. If it’s something you’ve considered, check out the blog posts.

DEDICATED PAGE – BOOK CORNER

Because reading helps me mentally, it was only right to dedicate a page to all things books. I am now even reading stories from other writers about their own mental health journeys.

mental well-being

7. Take your vitamins

I must admit, I sometimes forget to take my vitamins for a few days and I usually don’t feel great when it happens. I now take a vitamin D supplement, which helps me throughout the year, but especially in winter.

Everyone is different and will need a different supplement to fuel their bodies. Get some advice, or look into what works best for you.

8. Get enough sleep

I know from experience, some people just cannot get enough sleep. For a new mother, it just isn’t possible. Prior to motherhood, I never slept well because I had thoughts whirling through my mind all the time. So I get it.

If you can, try and get 7-8 hours of sleep, or however much your body needs. This is the time when our body repairs itself and it is therefore vital to our well-being.

9. Positive thinking

For me personally, positive thinking is about having affirmation cards littered around my workspace. It is also doing meditation recordings which contain powerful, life-changing messages. Mostly, it is being aware that our thoughts can impact us positively or negatively. And trying to turn things around if I am not having a great time mentally.

affirmations

10. Be kind to yourself

The winter months can be harsh on both our minds and bodies. Do whatever it takes to be kind to yourself. Have an ice cream, and jump in bed for a nap. Spend time under the duvet. And don’t feel guilty for looking after yourself.

Final Thoughts

Every human being is different and will respond to these techniques and tools differently. I personally found that combining a range of these different strategies and tools, helped me become well enough to get through the dark days and then focus on mentally recovering.

Free download

I’ve created a self-care planner, where you can list all the areas you want to focus on. There are four sections, and each allows you to focus on a different area of your life. To bring an overall sense of well-being.

mental well-being

Self-Care-Planner Download

Other resources if you are struggling with your mental health

If you need someone to talk to about difficult feelings, The Samaritans are available 24/7. Call 116 121 for free any time. email jo@samaritans.org or visit some branches in person

Mind – Infoline: 0300 123 3393 – this helpline provides information and signposting. (open 9 am to 6 pm, Monday to Friday (except for bank holidays).

Anxiety UK – they have a helpline: 03444 775 774 Text support: 07537 416 905 (open Mon-Fri 09:30 am-5:30 pm)

The Stay Alive app is a pocket suicide prevention resource for the UK, packed full of useful information to help you stay safe

Shout – If you would prefer not to talk but want some mental health support, you can text SHOUT to 85258. Shout offers a confidential 24/7 text service providing support if you are in crisis and need immediate help

SANEline – If you’re experiencing a mental health problem or supporting someone else, you can call SANEline on 0300 304 7000 (4.30 pm–10.30 pm every day).

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Guest posts, Mental Health

Exercising Your Brain: The Connection Between Mental Stimulation and Good Mental Health

5 April 2023 , 19 Comments

Good Mental Health — Pixabay (CC0 Licence)

It isn’t really news to anyone that mental health is an issue requiring more attention than it gets. We’ve all been made conscious of mental health awareness campaigns, even though we’re all perfectly aware of mental health by now, and what we really need is action. While we are stuck with more self-help than outside help, however, there is definitely a lot to be said for getting some brain exercise. Not only does mental stimulation provide a timely distraction from the strain of mental health issues, but it also provides a strengthening effect on our brains and minds, which certainly doesn’t cure depression or anxiety, but makes the battle fairer.

Good Mental Health

It has been proven time and again that brain exercise boosts the capacity of your brain, speeding cognitive function and boosting memory. While there are always going to be elements of anxiety and depression that try their best to diminish your quality of life, it is worth knowing that improved cognitive function helps to push back against those intrusive thoughts and negative self-image, and so it’s more than worthwhile.

What do we mean by brain exercise?

Essentially, any time you use your brain, it’s brain exercise. All that differs is the intensity and control. So managed brain exercise will usually take the form of puzzles and processes that lead to us using our brains in a targeted way. While filling out your tax return or figuring out how to install a shelving unit are also forms of exercise, they are time-consuming and have a high failure factor – resulting in frustration that is precisely the opposite of what you’re looking for. Doing a Sudoku, where it doesn’t matter if you get it right, or learning a language in your spare time just for the joy of it, are good methods of brain exercise.

If you’re prone to anxiety, you’ll know how your thoughts can shift around, as though the brain is filled with too much energy. Using puzzles to focus the mind can redirect that energy. The more you do these forms of exercise, the better you’ll get too, which is rewarding and mentally gratifying; if you can replace some of those negative thoughts with positive reaffirmation, it will help your condition. Even if you occasionally need to use a tool to unscramble words, it still helps use your mind for better purposes than it will choose if left idle.

Can brain exercise overcome mental health issues entirely?

Good Mental Health — Pixabay – CC0 Licence

It’s optimistic to imagine that brain exercise will be enough on its own to “beat” mental health hurdles. Those of us who have suffered from such conditions know that the situation is a lot more complex than something that can be unlocked with one fun trick. However, it’s important to try to elevate your starting level when dealing with any condition. Just as someone with an injury needs physical exercise to rehab the injured part, so someone with mental health concerns can give their brain some help by working on puzzles and other skills.

This form of mental exercise will also have outside benefits: doing puzzles will improve your vocabulary and open up interesting things to read about; learning a language will give you an insight into a different culture and potentially even offer a travel destination that you can work towards. At the base of it, brain exercise is about finding a positive way to occupy your thought processes. It won’t cure any mental health condition, because that takes a great deal of time and guided exploration of your condition – but it is one element of a package that can deliver great results.

What if I don’t enjoy puzzles?

Brain exercise can take a lot of different shapes, and in truth, it is best to let your own preferences and tastes guide what form of exercise you choose. Not everybody likes puzzles. Language learning isn’t for everyone, either, but there are other ways you can direct your thoughts. You could learn to cook a certain kind of cuisine, take up an instrument, grow and tend to a small garden or anything else that gives you moments of joy and small victories.

A mental health condition will try to make you feel small, stupid, and helpless. The best way to put yourself on a path to long-term recovery is to find an enjoyable way to remind yourself that you are none of those things. It won’t always be easy and straightforward, but if you don’t complete a crossword or your minestrone turns out a little watery, that doesn’t matter. What matters is that you did something for yourself and had some fun in the process.

Achieving personal development, Mental Health, Mindset change, Tools for managing anxiety, wellness

Life Won’t Stop Throwing Challenges Our Way So The Key Is Mental Strength

17 July 2022 , 12 Comments

AD / PR – please note – the sessions have been gifted in exchange for my honest thoughts about the process

The theme of mental strength came up in my latest Hypnotherapy session with Kevin. And it’s an important topic I want to explore a little more.

The fight, flight, and fear responses are triggered by our primitive brain and is essentially a safety mechanism which was useful many years ago. It saved the lives of our ancestors. But is it fit for purpose in today’s modern world?

I think it’s still useful, but the world has changed dramatically. Let’s be honest, in 2022 the world a scary place. The planet and its inhabitants are unstable and the feeling something bad could happen at any moment is anxiety-inducing in itself.

Put aside the current condition of the world, and imagine only staying within your family circle. Keeping yourself locked away in your protective bubble. You will still face disagreements, loss, and hurt. There is no avoiding the fact that life will throw us a curve ball, at some point. And it’s only a matter of time.

Rather than dwell on the fact this unpredictable moment is coming, I have chosen to strengthen my mind. So that, when this situation arises, I can respond and react differently.

And it’s going really well, so far. I already feel better. But we have lots more work to do in order to build my mental strength.

mental strength

Previous posts in this series

If you want to follow my hypnotherapy journey, you can check out the two posts below:

Achieving Personal Development – My Journey With Solution-Focused Hypnotherapy

A Powerful Concept – The Ability To Change Our Brain

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mental strength

Your reaction is a choice

I know these words are true. But it isn’t as simple as just saying this sentence. I certainly don’t feel this way. Currently, I can’t fully control my response to situations that trigger me and this is why I need help to build my mental strength. The science behind hypnotherapy is hugely beneficial, to try to understand how it impacts my thinking (and therefore my behaviours).

At the moment, we are exploring tools to stop the moment anxiety gets out of control and assess the reaction. A lot of research says our reaction is often the thing which causes us the most distress, rather than the event itself. It’s our response to it which is problematic. Obviously in reality it isn’t as simple as this. And the research is more complex than I can explain.

Your reaction is a choice

I hope one day soon I will truly feel the full impact of these words and I can shout them from the rooftops. And fully take control of every reaction I have in life. That’s the goal!

Why choose a therapist to assist you in building mental strength?

There are some people out there who believe you can read a book, or watch YouTube videos to become an expert, I was previously one of them. However, some experiences you need to be guided through. Especially when we are talking about accessing and changing the subconscious mind.

Hypnotherapy is about understanding how the brain works. Knowledge is power. But there is a lot to learn and this can only be done properly by taking it one step at a time. In this respect, weekly or fortnightly sessions provide enough time to consume the information and provide meaning.

I have to put the work in!

Kevin provides me with tools to do my own work. He’s like a guide. How much of the reading I choose to do in between sessions and how many trance recordings I practice in my own time, is completely up to me.

The work we complete during the sessions is also dependent on my life circumstances and the people around me and how I form relationships. We are also looking at the problems I currently face in being able to fully thrive as a person.

Final thoughts

I think people often go to therapy thinking someone will fix them (I did in the past) but change doesn’t happen without the individual wanting to make a change and working to do it.

If you want to start your journey of change, you can book a FREE discovery call with Kevin here.

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Check out a summary of my blog stats, the brands I have worked with and recent feedback I’ve received.

For collaborations, or any other queries you can contact mummyconqueringanxiety@gmail.com

I look forward to hearing from you.

Achieving personal development, Mental Health, Mindset change, Tools for managing anxiety, wellness

A Powerful Concept – The Ability To Change Our Brain

3 July 2022 , 38 Comments

AD / PR – please note – the sessions have been gifted in exchange for my honest thoughts about the process

Throughout this post, I want to introduce you to a powerful concept. In the past, I have looked into neuroplasticity and how the brain functions. But I only scratched the surface. My latest hypnotherapy session provided a comprehensive overview of the brain model: essentially how the brain functions according to its different parts. And more importantly, how this can impact our automatic responses to stressful situations.

The information Kevin provided me with blew my mind. Pun intended! Talking through how the brain functions react during panic attacks and how you pick up bad habits, which then become programmed responses, really resonated with me. It’s how I’ve lived for the past 15 years. But this type of solution-focused hypnotherapy asks you not to dwell on the past. It’s time to use it as a lesson and move forward. To a better, brighter future.

powerful concept

The brain model

Understanding the brain model made me think about the mechanisms at play when my anxiety levels rise. It also makes me feel less guilty about the flight or fight reactions I experienced in the past. Another benefit is it definitely makes me feel more sympathetic towards anyone else showing their emotions through anger. There is always an underlying reason behind someone’s behaviour. When talking about toddler tantrums recently, someone said to me “all behaviour is communication” and it’s so true.

Knowing my brain just reacts in a certain way, which is beyond my control, and this happens so fast before your logical brain can kick in, allows me to view anxiety differently. I now feel empowered with this knowledge and I feel like I have the building blocks to move forward.

perma hypnotherapy — Photo by Emma Simpson on Unsplash

Kevin as a therapist

We visit a particular therapist because they make us feel at ease and Kevin certainly does that. The way he uses humour to break up heavy topics helps me immensely. Similarly, I feel comfortable going through the trance part of the session with him. His voice is very soothing and it was an enjoyable experience to completely switch off. Something I feel I haven’t achieved for a while.

Summary

What I love about these sessions is the onus that the work is done by me and only I have the power to change things. The therapist is there to guide you. The weekly homework is there so I can put into practice what I’ve learned. It was great to read through the information he sent and also try a few of the trance recordings for myself.

It is important to note, that although I don’t expect a quick fix, I am certain this journey will improve how I respond to life circumstances. I have started on level one of my building and although I have a way to go, I am starting to walk the path to a more fulfilled life.

In every area of life, understanding what is happening to us and why helps. Knowledge is power!

To book a free discovery call with Kevin, visit this page. Kevin can also be reached via Perma Hypnotherapy and directly at kevin@permahypnotherapy.co.uk

powerful concept

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