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Anxiety is a form of stress. However, they are not the same. It is not uncommon for people who experience an extremely stressful situation to believe they have seen and survived anxiety. Dealing with high stress deserves all the respect in the world. But the main difference between anxiety and stress is that stress tends to have a tangible trigger, such as an urgent work project, for example.
Anxiety, on the other hand, has long forgotten its trigger. Someone who has gone through a disturbing experience that was stressful at the time could develop an anxiety disorder as a response, which means they could get anxious reminiscing about their previous experience, facing a new situation that shares common points with their experience, or even imagining what would happen if they were to go through the same thing again. Anxiety is the world where what-if questions live. Unfortunately, what ifs have no trigger. So, the typical advice to avoid triggers may not be useful at all.
How do you manage the what-if scenarios in day-to-day life?
Learn to know your mind
Controlling your mind is an impossible challenge. However, getting to know what makes you feel vulnerable and which mindset can influence your what-ifs could be a game-changer. That is precisely where keeping a journal can make a huge difference to your anxiety. Indeed, a journal allows you to play out some of the possible scenarios safely while reminding yourself of the positive things in your life. Listing the good and happy things in your life can help significantly. It is easy to lose yourself in the distress of a what-if narrative. But the positive aspects of your life can act as sanity lights that take you back to safety.
Besides, a journal can also let you track mood swings and habits, so you can identify times when you are more susceptible to anxiety.
Talk about it
What makes anxiety especially difficult to manage is social and emotional isolation. Anxiety can cut you off from your friend and family circle as you find it hard to express your thoughts and be heard. As such, what ifs drive loneliness? Being alone with your thoughts is never easy, especially when your thoughts get the best of you. Unfortunately, very few friends are mentally and emotionally astute about the stages of anxiety. But talking with someone who understands what you are going through and isn’t going to judge you for it can transform your experience. Expert psychologists at Three Seas have developed dedicated programmes to provide counselling and telehealth to their clients. Finding a therapist you can trust to manage and control what-if scenarios will offer the support you need to:
Free yourself from the spiralling anxiety trap
Learn to recognise dangerous thinking habits
Unlock your courage by voicing out your fears
Discuss potential techniques and coping mechanisms that could help in the future
Talk medication if needs be — why suffer alone when there are solutions out there?
What ifs are the enemy of an anxious mind. But, every enemy, ever the most fearsome ones, has weaknesses. What ifs lose their power when you can recognise them for what they are, name them, understand which habits grant them power, and ultimately remind yourself that they don’t control you. Is it easy? No, it never is. But, hopefully, these tips can help you feel less vulnerable to their soul-crushing darkness.
In true Mummy Conquering Anxiety fashion, I wanted to post something real and honest for Mental Health Awareness Week this year! I want to remind you all, these posts are hard for me to write and probably, for you to hear. However, the topic is relevant and important. Creating my new beginning, in respect of my career, was the best thing I ever did. And I know other people are experiencing the same treatment at work.
I second guess myself about whether I should publish these posts and therefore, this one has been in the pipeline for a while. However, now is the right time to release this post. Because my work situation is now vastly different. I am a different person, with a different outlook. BUT I will always be a mental health advocate.
The back story
Here goes. I wrote this post a while ago, as a means of getting through one of the most stressful times in my life. As it happens, changing my situation was also the most life-changing.
Following total burnout in my job, I suffered a complete mental breakdown. Cue falling to the floor, tears, not making any sense. Like someone switched off my brain. And it wouldn’t restart. At the time, I didn’t want it to. It was the lowest point of my life. I’d suffered from low points with my mental health in the past. High anxiety levels and depression were common in times of stress, but it was never this bad.
The culture must change. We can no longer pile an unreasonable amount of pressure on employees and expect them not to eventually burn out.
My personal experience
The return to work – almost at my new beginning
Following months’ off work and pressure to return, I went back into the workplace. And eagerly awaited a redundancy date. Having an end date in sight, kept me going.
Ultimately, I was temporarily throwing myself back into a situation where miscommunication and downright rudeness in the workplace, had led me to a mental breakdown. Going back into that situation, for even a day, was going to be a mammoth task. Remember when I returned, I didn’t know how long I would stay in the role. And I don’t do very well with the unknown. It’s one of the biggest drivers of my anxiety. Knowing where I stand and having a routine helps keep it under control.
My life is different and much happier, and I now have support in my new workplace. And I am thankful for the journey because it taught me so much about my mental strength in challenging times.
Getting back into it
Upon my return, I was left alone for the first month, with everyone telling me “we want to make sure you’re okay“, “bear in mind your mental health” and I knew it was bullshit. It was a line they had to say to appear supportive. That’s what some workplaces do. In this day and age, for some businesses, it’s all talk, no action. And I think it’s despicable. I would rather the business be honest and not have a mental health policy at all, rather than provide empty words on such an important topic.
Jobless, ‘unemployed’ was soon going to be my label. All of a sudden I felt a lack of self-confidence. A lack of security. An urge to review my money situation and sort out bills that still needed paying, with one less income. But I still had not recovered fully and didn’t have the energy. A battle between wanting to prioritise myself for once, but lacking the motivation to do so.
I hope EVERYONE starts to place the same physical illness value on mental illness. Especially after we’ve all endured so much trauma lately.
Poor management
Another factor in all my previous job roles, was a lack of knowledge at the top. Yes, managers are there to manage, not necessarily understand how to do your job. But if they don’t have a clue about the work the people they are supposed to be supporting do daily, what’s the point? How will they ever recognise the stress triggers of overworked staff? How do they even know what too much work is?
From a human perspective, we should all be able to communicate appropriately with someone whos suffered a mental breakdown. But this takes training and awareness!
I’ve written previously about how I witnessed rude, biased, and bullying behaviour in workplaces I was part of, and this spans my whole working life. Although I wouldn’t relive the pandemic if I had a choice, I do hope it’s brought significant changes to the office environment in the UK. The culture must change. We can no longer pile an unreasonable amount of pressure on employees and expect them not to eventually burn out.
Where it all went wrong
My first anxiety-filled morning began a while after I returned to work. When you’re constantly having to justify yourself and the work you are completing, it is exhausting. This is what I was being asked to do on this occasion and given my mental health history, I think there was a better way of doing things.
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My thoughts in hindsight
Throughout all of this, I do have some grasp of the fact that employees in the department were under daily stress because of an impending redundancy and I take on board the fact this can impact a person’s behaviour. But it still doesn’t make poor behaviour towards staff correct. And it certainly doesn’t help my already fragile anxiety levels. From a human perspective, we should all be able to communicate appropriately with someone whos suffered a mental breakdown. But this takes training and awareness!
The redundancy announcement
It is hurtful when you’ve invested so much time and energy into your career and it comes to an end in this way. My heart goes out to anyone whos been through or is currently going through a redundancy process.
On the day I found out our redundancy date, I felt numb. I thought I would feel differently. It felt just like any other announcement. Following my mental health struggles, I couldn’t be bothered sorting out the admin and conversations involved in leaving. I wouldn’t feel satisfied until I had left the company and the redundancy money was in my bank.
Jobless, ‘unemployed’ was soon going to be my label. All of a sudden I felt a lack of self-confidence. A lack of security. An urge to review my money situation and sort out bills that still needed paying, with one less income. But I still had not recovered fully and didn’t have the energy. A battle between wanting to prioritise myself for once, but lacking the motivation to do so.
10 days to go – the worst 10 days of my life
10 days to go. Then I would be unemployed. Something I never anticipated I would be happy about. Finally, done and dusted with the workplace that I once loved, but then also caused me unreasonable amounts of stress.
To deal with the anger, I started journaling my feelings. I thought, what’s the point in stressing about this when I had 10 days to go. But bear in mind, that I was now a different person. More protective of my mental health. I viewed life differently. It was great I had grown in confidence to change the situation that broke me. But I was still in the situation that broke me. And I was still facing the same daily battles that sent me to hell and back.
Other posts you may like in the mental health category
Maybe these heightened feelings are normal for anyone going through a redundancy process. It’s probably just part of the process and how your mind accepts the huge change which will be happening to you at any moment. A moment someone else chooses, usually based on money-making and not paying any attention to your life.
The current employment situation in the UK
I can tell you, from my recent experience of visiting the job centre, unstable job conditions have impacted a lot of people and the department is inundated. The knock-on effect of COVID, and greedy CEOs making reckless decisions, together with a failing economy, have created a recipe for disaster. And it’s set to get even worse!
Yes, there are jobs out there, but the game has changed. I’m hoping the shift will eventually benefit office workers and companies to start to value mental health. I hope EVERYONE starts to place the same physical illness value on mental illness. Especially after we’ve all endured so much trauma lately.
Some of you might be asking why I went back to the workplace at all. Well, I wanted and deserved the redundancy payment. I also deserved to be treated like a human being. Bear in mind, that I am an advocate for mental well-being and society ditching the stigma those with mental illnesses suffer. I couldn’t just let this situation slide, without showing up and standing up for myself. In turn, I felt like I was also standing up for other people.
I considered raising concerns, then I weighed this up against the mental exhaustion this would exert and the potential of really gaining anything. In the end, I cut my losses and decided to start putting my energy into my new life.
Work should be a complementary part of our lives, not the thing that makes it unliveable
TO clarify, I’m all for mental health training in the workplace. But it has to be great training, run by people who’ve experienced dealing with a mental health crisis first hand. It can’t just be another set of standard lines companies use to protect themselves.
Trusted training resources
Mind conducts workplace training and I would trust them as a great resource. It’s also great to see the training by Rethink Mental Illness had input from people with lived experience. There are also other smaller companies running mental health training and there is value out there.
Workplaces – please create a different process for mental health absences
Another significant issue that made me feel like my mental illness wasn’t valid, was the return to work process. Workplaces need to create different policies for mental health circumstances. As they would do a terminal illness or a bereavement. Any other unusual situation, which doesn’t fit into the category of physical health.
My hope for HR departments in the future
Whilst I don’t have personal experience of it, I hope other employers are already doing the great things I’ve suggested. I hope this blog post doesn’t need to be read by most companies, but my own experience was just a stand-alone negative one. In conducting some research for this post I found this promising article about HR awards won by a building society. I wish all businesses would adopt this approach.
It’s also important for HR to check the company ethos is being implemented in all departments. And ensure there isn’t a disconnect between individual departments.
The main point
My life is different and much happier, and I now have support in my new workplace. And I am thankful for the journey because it taught me so much about my mental strength in challenging times.
Worrying statistics
The statistics for mental health-related absences in the UK look grim. And some of the research was conducted pre-pandemic. Arguably, we are in a worse position currently. Worst still, people are sometimes dismissed as a result of their mental health struggles.
How can we continue to accept this treatment?
One final note about burnout
Whilst I am still trying to make sense of what happened to me, I faced complete burnout as a result of overdoing it. I want to take this opportunity to tell all my readers this is not the way you have to live. Yes, we all need money. Both I and my hubby have to work to pay bills and live, but it is possible to balance this with looking after your mental health.
My wish for the future is that employers become the ones who prioritise this on behalf of their employees. And they avoid creating a culture where people feel they need to do more for the same money. Employ more staff, reduce the workload, and spend money to ease pressure on your staff!
Will you ever recover from burnout? I have. Granted, I am not the same person I was before. I now take less rubbish and I know, my boundaries. I won’t ever allow a repeat of this situation.
Final thoughts
This is my journal of a tough time in my life. In keeping with the theme of this blog, I wanted to share this with you because I want to help other people in the same situation. I want other people to realise they are not alone. Thankfully, I have recently started a new chapter in my career and I am in a better place.
Let time know what you think of the post in the comments below. I would love to hear from you.
Because this is such an emotive issue for me, it would be great to hear from anyone who can relate. Your comments are much appreciated and it helps me and other people know we are not alone in our struggles.
It is a proven fact, that the early years of our lives shape who we are and how well we cope with challenges in adult life. A traumatic experience in childhood can have lasting effects. Exploring emotions is vital.
All human beings have emotions. They start to develop at an early age, often when toddlers don’t really understand what they are yet. The common one in our house at the moment is missing other people. This involves a daily conversation filled with reassurance, that everyone misses the people they love.
Because toddler emotions are a challenge I currently face. And I know other parents definitely go through this cycle, I wanted to write a post dedicated to the best stories I could find, discussing children’s emotions.
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Let’s look at the research into why we should explore emotions
Understanding children’s emotions are critical to understanding their behaviour. Early years children feel a range of emotions, but often cannot express, interpret or process them like us.
With poor emotional skills, it could be harder for children to learn:
Children grow and develop rapidly in their first five years across the four main areas of development. These areas are motor (physical), communication and language, cognitive, social and emotional.
Social and emotional development means how children start to understand who they are, what they are feeling and what to expect when interacting with others. It is the development of being able to:
Form and sustain positive relationships.
Experience, manage and express emotions.
Explore and engage with the environment.
Positive social and emotional development is important. This development influences a child’s self-confidence, empathy, the ability to develop meaningful and lasting friendships and partnerships, and a sense of importance and value to those around them. Children’s social and emotional development also influences all other areas of development.
Parents and caregivers play the biggest role in social/emotional development because they offer the most consistent relationships for their children. Consistent experiences with family members, teachers and other adults help children learn about relationships and explore emotions in predictable interactions.
To nurture your child’s social and emotional development, it is important that you engage in quality interactions like these on a daily basis, depending on the age of your child:
Be affectionate and nurturing: hold, comfort, talk and sing with your baby, toddler and child.
Help your baby experience joy in “give-and-take” relationships by playing games like “peek-a-boo.”
Provide your toddler with responsive care, letting them practice new skills while still providing hands-on help.
Support your child’s developing skills; help him/her, but don’t do everything for your child, even if it takes longer or is messy.
Teach social and emotional skills, such as taking turns, listening and resolving conflict.
What happens if we don’t manage emotions
One of the most important ways parents or guardians can help is by listening to their children and taking their feelings seriously. They may want a hug, they may want you to help them change something or they may want practical help.
Children and young people’s negative feelings usually pass. However, it’s a good idea to get help if your child is distressed for a long time if their feelings are stopping them from getting on with their lives, if their distress is disrupting family life or if they are repeatedly behaving in ways you wouldn’t expect at their age.
What’s Troubling Tawny? The award-winning second book in the Sumatran Trilogy! Tawny longs to make friends with another rhino, but her shyness holds her back. When she meets a hornbill called Tallulah, she is surprised to learn that she has a lot in common with the beautiful bird.
Poppy the porcupine has always wanted to make a friend, but her defensive nature prevents her. When a young tiger cub stumbles upon her one day in the rainforest, she reacts badly and scares him away.
Determined to change her ways, she sets out to find him, but little does she know that the tiger cub is about to have a problem of his own. In the face of danger, will Poppy find a way to save the day?
The Problem with Poppy is the award-winning debut picture book by British author Emma Sandford. Illustrated by Ukrainian artist Olena Osadcha.
If you could change something about yourself, would you do it?
When Sarah Simpkins is teased about her shadow in the school playground, she finds herself wishing she didn’t have one.
That night she has the chance to make the wish come true. But will losing her shadow really make her happy?
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Let’s Be Friends Again
Purchase the book below:
Let’s Be Friends Again
Kids World Books – Sibling fights, tantrums and subsequent bonding is the theme of this story.
The story is narrated by a boy and he narrates rather than shares his experiences with his sister. The boy and the girl play together. They spend most of their leisure time together. Just like every sibling, they fight often and bond subsequently.
The boy finds some trouble with his sister. The boy sometimes babysits for his sister and she used to trouble him! However, she was a good listener and the boy used to tell some great stories. The boy refused to share his toys with her. Yet, the smart girl used to grab all her brother’s toys. The tantrum began when the girl played with his brother’s pet turtle!
The girl thought that the tank where the pet turtle was kept was too small for the turtle. She carried it to the pond and let it free in the pond.
The boy was as angry as he lost his pet turtle. He showed his anger in many ways. He shouted at her. He threw away his toys and kept on thinking about his turtle. His parents supported his sister. He planned to avenge the loss of his pet and imagined many things. (This is definitely a fun part that everyone would die laughing).
He couldn’t sleep for hours thinking about the pet. He then saw his sister playing in the garden so happy like never before. The boy was surprised as well as very angry seeing her sister happy.
He made a decision! What was that?
Let’s be friends again, the lovable brother and sister, their cute fights, rivalry, etc are narrated beautifully. It happens very commonly in every household.
Children and young people are still developing – they don’t have adult brains or bodies, so need help to understand and manage their emotions.
You’ve probably heard your parents or grandparents say “they’re just attention seeking” or “they’re being difficult”. But there’s usually more to it than this.
We often ask people who contact Children 1st Parentline: “What is your child trying to tell you when they’re acting like that?” Looked at this way, unwanted behaviour is usually about a child needing something – or their way of trying to work out how to manage something.
From a toddler’s need for comfort to a teenager’s conflicting desires for independence and security, testing behaviour is common and is often set off by everyday experiences rather than big events.
Jodi also thinks the book will come just at the right time for children who have had to shut themselves away all year and might be scared to try something new.
She added: “It is a lovely story for 4–7-year-olds about taking yourself out of your comfort zone to try new things.
“Worley’s story is a fab way to engage children with these cute little monsters and learn how to develop their confidence.
“The book also included suggested activities for parent and adult readers.
“I’m also now writing my second story for the series about Worley and Co!
“Having suffered quite a bit as a kid – I lost my dad at 10 and my best friend at 14 – and had a lot of bullying and not nice things going on and I didn’t know how to cope,” she explained.
“That had a massive effect on me as an adult which led to a breakdown. I don’t want kids to go through what I did. The more people I can teach and I can help the better. I don’t think I would have had as big a meltdown if I already had tools to use.
“My characters are all monsters – I have a whole tribe of emotions monsters that teach children about emotions. Worley is the main one and he meets his friends with different emotions.
“The first one was teaching him to be brave and through the monster, you learn you might make a mistake but it will be fine. He realises he doesn’t need to be the best at everything.
“The second book is about anger. The book is written as a rhyme; basically, Worley gets angry and doesn’t know what it is. His friend George, the angry monster, teaches him it is ok to be angry and how to manage it.
“It is done in quite a fun way so children can understand.”
Buster Finds His Beat
Purchase the book below:
Buster Finds His Beat
A feel-good story about an autistic boy, That will capture your imagination and fill you with joy.
Buster uses ear defenders to soften sounds he hears, Find out what happens when he faces his fears…
Pick up your copy, you’ll be in for a treat, As he uses the power of sound to find his own beat.
The first book in a new rhyming picture book series from D.M. Mullan and Kirsteen Harris Jones – welcome to D.M. Mullan’s Curious Tales… Hector van Groat If something is missing, and you’re feeling blue, you could learn from Hector, who feels this way too. This little genius lives in an upside-down boat, and he grunts from his hill like a grumpy old goat. “Hector van Groat needs no one but Hector because he is a genius, a crazy inventor”.
A beautifully illustrated picture book about mental health for young readers. Where Is My Smile? is the story of a little boy who can’t find his smile anywhere. He searches and searches, but it’s nowhere to be found. Where could his smile be? This delightful picture book is perfect as a bedtime story, and to help little children understand that it’s okay to be sad sometimes, but we can always find our way through it.
Final Thoughts
I hope you enjoyed reading my list of books to inspire conversations with your toddler about emotions.
Do you have any of these books? Or will you be purchasing them? What techniques do you use to explore emotions?
I would love to hear from you in the comments below.
Today I am so excited to welcome a guest blogger! I am also over the moon to introduce a mummy, also facing difficult issues with a newborn. I can relate to this. My guest blogger today has turned a negative experience of her own into something to help others. All the details you need to connect with Lauryn can be found at the end of this post.
POST UPDATED 30 July 2022
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Let’s dive into why a sleep routine is important
I felt very ready to have a baby in every sense. I was 32 years old and financially secure. It was great that I had a successful teaching career of ten years and my relationship was strong.
As a confessed perfectionist, when we fell pregnant, I did all of the homework to be fully prepared. We did an online hypnobirthing course together. I planned my drug-free, calm labour. In addition, I planned to breathe the baby out (LOL) simply. I also knew all there was to know about the fourth trimester. I was, of course going to breastfeed. It was on the agenda to get started early with a bedtime routine. Additionally, I planned to be back in the gym from six weeks postnatal. I also signed up for lots of baby classes with my NCT friends.
I had all of the right things to ensure a sound night’s sleep for our baby. The right clothes, crib, mattress, baby monitor, and dream sheep to get her sleeping easily. You name it, we had it.
Finally, eight days after my due date, I started feeling labour pains. My feelings were weirdly nervous and excited. I just could not wait to meet this baby I felt so connected to during the pregnancy. Preparing, I calmly got my hypnobirthing tools ready. Bouncing on my ball, candles lit, and a comedy video, had me feeling prepared.
My labour did not go as planned. After 30 hours, I ended up having an emergency C-section and my daughter came out with suspected sepsis and was whisked straight off to neonatal care.
Once I got home, all the planning we had done during pregnancy felt pointless. I felt beyond unprepared for this responsibility. Breastfeeding was not working for us and I felt like the ultimate failure in getting the formula out. My daughter had classic colic and cried for 3-6 hours every evening. It was exhausting and I felt awful I was unable to console her.
How had I gone from feeling as if I knew exactly what to expect, to this? I realised that one thing no one had told me might come with new motherhood. Anxiety.
I have never been an overly anxious person, but all of a sudden every aspect of motherhood was anxiety-inducing. Breastfeeding, sleep, guests coming over, leaving the house. All of it. My plans to go to classes and groups were far too big for me to face and I was so anxious about guests coming in case she would cry and I would not be able to settle her.
How lockdown impacted the situation
Eight weeks after she was born, we were plunged into the very first lockdown. This was great for me because it meant I didn’t have to face my anxiety about going out or guests coming over. Although in hindsight, there were negative aspects, because it didn’t give me a chance to talk to professionals, as medical visits and access to health visitors had ceased.
To regain control, I started a very rigid sleep routine with my little one. Every nap had to be to the minute of my new programme. The sleep environment had to be perfect. If it ever went out of the window, it was a huge stress for me and could ruin my entire lockdown day.
Light at the end of the tunnel
Needless to say, I realised it was time to do some mental digging and see what was going on. I opened up to friends who had suffered postnatally and searched for information online. After thinking about it, I eventually concluded that anxiety was linked to birth trauma. I had not given myself the chance to go over my labour or the fact she was taken straight from me due to being ill upon arrival.
Once I did a little work on myself through the lockdown, the pressure I’d put myself under started to lift. I introduced yoga, meditation, and journaling into my routine.
Turning a negative into a positive
I eased up a little on the sleep routine and now two years down the line I have trained to become a sleep consultant to work with families on gentle sleep schedules and training, to cause the least anxiety possible.
If anyone out there is new to this parenting gig and finding things tough, open up. Talk it out when you’re ready and know that this storm will pass and get better. More beautiful days are coming your way.
Lauryn and her little one
Angelcare were fantastic for all of our baby’s needs when we had a newborn. Check them out.
More details on how to contact Lauryn
Lauryn has worked as a full-time teacher for 10 years, teaching Drama and English in both primary and secondary settings. Since having her first child, Eliza, she realised the importance of sleep for well-being and this led to her training to become a sleep consultant in Summer 2021. Lullaby Lauryn launched in October and she can’t wait to help as many families as possible improve their sleep.
I don’t always want to put the work in to protect my mental health. Keeping on top of it sometimes becomes a chore and the rebellious side of my personality wants to give up. But I don’t! Whilst I have weeks where I am just not feeling it. If I don’t have time for self-care, I usually catch myself and urgently utilise some much-needed mental well-being techniques I have in my toolbox.
I would encourage anyone else out to keep maintaining a good standard of mental well-being. Especially during the winter months.
Why do we as humans know how to physically rest, but we have a problem with guilt when it comes to looking after our mental health?
Quick note: Some of the links contained on this page are affiliate links. If you go through an affiliate link to make a purchase, I will earn a commission. I only recommend products I use myself and think would be helpful for other people.
You might have already seen my TikTok where I talk about my current feelings. I can’t shake the feeling of wanting to hibernate until March 2023. I feel lower than usual and have to work harder than ever to keep my head above water.
I’ve written on the blog before about Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) and how this can have an impact on our mental health.
I already have anxiety problems, which can sometimes lead to low periods and depression.
As I said in the TikTok video, each year I forget just how bad I feel. Lack of vitamin D, limited natural light and horrible, cold weather can impact our bodies negatively. Which can lead to implications for our mental and emotional well-being.
Here are my tips for maintaining a good standard of mental well-being during the winter months, including some worksheets to help you…
As of last weekend, I definitely feel pretty low mentally. Especially when it’s dark all day & the rain won’t stop. At this point, I feel like it will rain until March 2023 & I just want to hide under the duvet until then. For anyone currently feeling the same, some helpful tips will be posted on the blog over the weekend. Hope it helps ❤️❤️❤️ #mentalhealth#mentalhealthmatters#mentalhealthawareness#sad#seasonaldepression
I know it’s challenging to fit in time for self-care. And society still holds the opinion that resting and relaxing is wasting your time or pure laziness. This couldn’t be further from the truth!
Not looking after myself or getting enough sleep for a few months, led me to have a full mental breakdown. It then took me 18 months to fully recover.
If you’re a gym goer, you will understand rest days. Similarly, if you walk a lot for your job, you sit down at night and physically rest. Why do we as humans know how to physically rest, but we have a problem with guilt when it comes to looking after our mental health?
Make some time. Even five minutes can help you. I am now well-practised at meditation andcan complete a hypnotherapy recording in five minutes. It may not seem like a lot of time, but it helps.
2. Plan in self-care time to avoid burnout
Felling low, and becoming irritable can creep up on us and we don’t always consciously know what’s happening. Allocating specific days and times for self-care can help.
I personally tell my hubby in advance that I will need childcare cover. To complete the hypnotherapy mediations, I then find a quiet room and some time to myself, without a toddler bothering me. I dedicate at least 90% of my time to her care, needs and spending time as a family. 20-30 minutes to refresh myself isn’t a lot to ask. And we shouldn’t feel guilty as parents when we need to ask for this time out.
3. Use some tools to assist you in your journey
Because of my history of mental health problems, I now have a toolkit on hand for my low moments. These are some of the things in there:
In the mental health community, we all know talking to someone can be powerful. And it helps. In the aftermath of my mental breakdown, making connections with like-minded people, pulled me out of the fog and allowed me to move forward.
You might be reluctant to make social connections and I know the feeling of just wanting to hide away. But please talk to someone if you need to!
5. Change your routine
Stepping outside your comfort zone and doing something you wouldn’t normally do, can help break the depression cycle in your brain. For me, it became sitting in the local park, soaking in nature and literally putting myself back together.
Even walking a different way home from the park, during those dark moments in my mind, helped me. I felt very much like my brain wouldn’t reboot. But these different habits started to fill me with confidence and allowed me to think slightly differently. Gain a new perspective on life.
6. Do some exercise
Exercise alone won’t cure you of your mental struggles, but it will help you to feel better along the way. During those dark days, it can get you moving and out of the house. And slowly, you start to tackle other challenges.
Here are some other resources on the blog which may be helpful for you:
In this post, I include some great books about managing anxiety, written by those with lived experience. There are also some great workbooks to manage stress, which I still use to this day!
Parenting is a challenging time. Lack of sleep, a completely new routine and not having a clue how to look after a child, can all take a toll. I am actively adding to this page for any parents out there who may be struggling,
On this page, I share my journey of completing a Perma hypnotherapy course. And how it benefitted me massively. If it’s something you’ve considered, check out the blog posts.
I must admit, I sometimes forget to take my vitamins for a few days and I usually don’t feel great when it happens. I now take a vitamin D supplement, which helps me throughout the year, but especially in winter.
Everyone is different and will need a different supplement to fuel their bodies. Get some advice, or look into what works best for you.
8. Get enough sleep
I know from experience, some people just cannot get enough sleep. For a new mother, it just isn’t possible. Prior to motherhood, I never slept well because I had thoughts whirling through my mind all the time. So I get it.
If you can, try and get 7-8 hours of sleep, or however much your body needs. This is the time when our body repairs itself and it is therefore vital to our well-being.
9. Positive thinking
For me personally, positive thinking is about having affirmation cards littered around my workspace. It is also doing meditation recordings which contain powerful, life-changing messages. Mostly, it is being aware that our thoughts can impact us positively or negatively. And trying to turn things around if I am not having a great time mentally.
10. Be kind to yourself
The winter months can be harsh on both our minds and bodies. Do whatever it takes to be kind to yourself. Have an ice cream, and jump in bed for a nap. Spend time under the duvet. And don’t feel guilty for looking after yourself.
Final Thoughts
Every human being is different and will respond to these techniques and tools differently. I personally found that combining a range of these different strategies and tools, helped me become well enough to get through the dark days and then focus on mentally recovering.
Free download
I’ve created a self-care planner, where you can list all the areas you want to focus on. There are four sections, and each allows you to focus on a different area of your life. To bring an overall sense of well-being.
Mind – Infoline: 0300 123 3393 – this helpline provides information and signposting. (open 9 am to 6 pm, Monday to Friday (except for bank holidays).
Anxiety UK – they have a helpline: 03444 775 774 Text support: 07537 416 905 (open Mon-Fri 09:30 am-5:30 pm)
The Stay Alive app is a pocket suicide prevention resource for the UK, packed full of useful information to help you stay safe
Shout – If you would prefer not to talk but want some mental health support, you can text SHOUT to 85258. Shout offers a confidential 24/7 text service providing support if you are in crisis and need immediate help
SANEline – If you’re experiencing a mental health problem or supporting someone else, you can call SANEline on 0300 304 7000 (4.30 pm–10.30 pm every day).
I wanted to write a list of great books by people who’ve found creative ways to manage their anxiety levels. In addition to this, I will also be letting you know about some courses which are geared towards wellness.
Quick note: AD-AFF-GIFTEDSome of the links contained on this page are sponsored and affiliate links. If you go through an affiliate link to make a purchase, I will earn a commission. I only recommend products I use myself and think would be helpful for other people.
Shall we dive into the list of great resources to help you with managing anxiety?
Education – courses for managing anxiety
Charlotte Lewington
Charlotte is a bestselling co-author, educator and consultant helping children and young people to find their voice, be seen and feel validated. There is nothing she is more passionate about than making sure children know that they are loved and love themselves from the inside out. During her own childhood, Charlotte faced many struggles that only made her stronger. Through these experiences, she learnt that you can either sit down and cry about things or you get up and you move on. Learning the lesson being shown to you.
After 16 years of experience within different health and childcare settings, Charlotte gained a degree in psychology and is currently working towards a master’s degree in children and young people. Charlotte spends most of her time delivering training to nurseries, schools and organisations offering workshops and retreats relating to emotional well-being.
Her mission is to provide support in order to bridge the gap with the mental health crisis that we are currently experiencing.In between all this, you will often find charlotte travelling the world and making the most out of life.
You can view and purchase all of her courses on Udemy UK.
1-2-1 support sessions if anyone is feeling lost or finding the queen’s death a trigger. For anyone finding it challenging with children going back to school or children managing anxiety about anything, parents or carers can book a call. She is also currently looking for people to be involved in a book collaboration.
Miss M Online courses
I recently wrote about how important it is to nurture a business-minded child. And more importantly, teach essential life skills that are usually lacking in the mainstream school system. You can check out the full blog post here.
Well, it’s time to bring you the latest from this amazing platform. Check out some of the courses available below.
What’s the latest?
Why not check out the new business board game? What an amazing gift for a young person this Christmas!
Head over and check out all of their amazing learning resources. Maybe you want to buy the gift of learning for a loved one or friend this holiday season. You know someone who is currently managing anxiety and needs some assistance.
Books for managing anxiety
You can check out my page, dedicated to all things books! Feel free to browse the other book-related posts on my blog
Running For Our Lives is about how running helps people overcome life challenges and mental health struggles. It touches upon how it helped Rachel reclaim her identity after she became a mum. In addition, it contains human stories and experiences from ordinary people.
I knew this title would resonate with time on some level. But I was unprepared for how much I would feel an emotional connection to the stories. A literal pang in my heart because this journey of sharing our mental health struggles is also one I’ve been on myself. I couldn’t put this book down, thanks to honest writing. Not to mention, the sheer power of connection between human beings who have one shared cause.
“It enables us to silence the chimp and write another story for ourselves – one where things become possible.”
“Perhaps it is you seeing the tiniest chink of light in a very dark place, discovering that you have a new friend in the world – one whom you have never met.”
The Cold Fix is about the healing power of cold water immersion in overcoming physical and mental pain. Or anguish including osteoarthritis, seasonal sadness, migraines, alcoholism and overthinking. It’s about growing older and exploring new opportunities; menopause, body image and confidence.
My thoughts
When reading the book, my initial thought was that I was intrigued as to why people do this and I find it fascinating that such an extreme activity can help someone mentally.
I particularly like the sensory and meditative experience which comes with this technique. It feels similar to how I probably feel when doing meditation.
“Coming here on my own had indeed added a risk factor, but it had also motivated and driven me to climb, literally, out of my comfort zone and rediscover a world that had been out of my reach for too long”
“The cold water has given me the key to unlock myself within a place I didn’t know existed: the community of cold-water swimmers right around the world. What binds us all together is the cold and how it makes us feel: brave enough to tackle even the toughest of life’s issues.”
Stand Up Paddleboarding is a guide to paddle boarding. However, Jo explains the sport has got her through grief, anxiety and empty nesting. It’s brought her identity back outside her roles as a mother, daughter, sister, and friend. And her commitment to the environment has strengthened. Back in 2019, she became the first woman aged 54 to stand up paddleboard coast to coast across northern England. Picking up litter and raising money for environmental charities.
My thoughts
The most striking thing about this book is the great images of places to visit. You feel transported there, and it’s wonderful. You are experiencing an adventure alongside reading about Jo’s story. There is a real variation in locations across the UK and I was glad to see some near where we live. It also makes me want to visit the places I haven’t visited and take in the scenery for myself.
The book also includes practical tips on how to get started, if you’re interested in starting your stand-up paddle-boarding journey
“A chance to walk on water, and I hope, appreciate that we all belong there too.”
He has recently been writing for some projects, aiming to help young people with their mental health. If you follow my blog, you will know I am totally on board with this. The current cost of living situation we are facing in the UK is only going to increase mental health problems among young people. Ultimately, it is up to us to raise awareness.
One is about how becoming guise-wise can really help reduce the mental health issues of young people (and not so young!)
Why? Because so many are the result of comparing ourselves to others, often obsessively, and to a disproportionate emphasis on relatively minor or very specific but not all-defining differences. Young people are especially prone to these practices. Supposing I’m a teenager preoccupied with my gender identity. Maybe I suspect I’m different in this respect from most of my friends. At one time, gender identity was not an issue for all but a tiny number of kids. Now it’s an issue for a lot, but that’s not the main point. The main point is that if I am a teenager with gender identity concerns then part of that will involve placing myself on a spectrum of gender gradations. I’m defining myself by what I am not and I’m probably defining my whole self primarily in terms of gender identity markers. This means that I’m not foregrounding all the many things I share with my peers – other aspects of identity, beliefs, preferences, interests and hosts of others that I share with everybody on the planet. Rather, I’m over-focusing on one thing that’s distinctive about me, one particular difference.
Becoming-Guise-Wise: How to dissolve the mental health issues of the young – Dr Michael Waters
The other is about making commonality-first, not difference-first how we should best respond to others – this would be the best legacy for the Queen since this is what she did in her life
She experienced diversity, more than anyone who has ever lived. No one else has been up as close and personal to such a variety of individuals in such a variety of settings. No one else has had more first-hand experience of as many different social and cultural groups. Who else has made official visits to over 117 countries and carried out over 21,000 official engagements, to say nothing of walkabouts and other unscripted exchanges? It’s also clear that she cared deeply for many of those to whom the word “diversity” is usually applied – minorities and the marginalised.
The Queen’s Legacy: Commonality-First – Dr Michael Waters
Workbooks for managing anxiety
I had to share the workbooks that personally helped me with managing anxiety, during the down periods in my life. I still have these on the shelf by my workspace. They proved to be so beneficial in my time of need.
My Bookshelf at home
Final thoughts
I hope you found these tools for managing helpful anxiety. Maybe a book you want to purchase something for yourself or a loved one?
Let me know your favourite book or course – I would love to hear from you in the comments.
Recent posts on the blog
Feel free to check out some of the other posts on my blog:
Stress is a common experience for many people, and it can profoundly impact mental and physical health. In this blog post, we will explore the various ways to cope with stress better and develop strategies to manage its effects. We’ll discuss how to recognize stress triggers, identify healthy coping strategies, and incorporate techniques such as relaxation techniques and mindfulness into your daily routine. Finally, we’ll look at various available resources to help you deal with stress effectively. Whether you’re just beginning to feel overwhelmed or looking for long-term solutions, this guide will provide some useful guidance on managing stress in your life. Ready to reduce the causes of stress?
What is Stress?
Stress is defined as the emotional and physical strain caused by our response to pressure from the outside world. It can originate from a wide range of sources, such as work, family responsibilities, relationships, health concerns, or significant life changes. While some amount of stress is normal and even beneficial in certain situations, prolonged or excessive levels can lead to a variety of physical and mental health problems.
Causes of Stress
Stress can be caused by a variety of factors, including difficult life situations such as job loss and family issues or even seemingly manageable things like work deadlines. Other common stress triggers include financial problems, health concerns, relationship issues, and time pressures. Some people may also experience causes of stress in response to unexpected events such as natural disasters or personal tragedies.
Recognizing Stress Triggers
The first step in managing your stress is to identify the things that trigger it. Pay attention to your physical and emotional reactions when you feel overwhelmed, and try to pinpoint what triggered your reaction. Once you know what causes your stress, you can begin to develop strategies for dealing with it more effectively.
Signs and Symptoms of Stress
The signs and symptoms of stress can vary from person to person but generally include physical symptoms such as headaches, muscle tension, fatigue, digestive issues, and skin problems. Mental health symptoms include difficulty concentrating, difficulty sleeping or sleeping too much, irritability or mood swings, anxiety, and depression. Other common signs include feeling overwhelmed or constantly in a rush; lacking motivation; avoiding social situations; procrastination; frequent crying spells, and reduced productivity at work.
Understanding Your Response to Stress
It is crucial to understand how your body responds to different levels of stress in order to develop strategies for managing it more effectively. Common responses to stress can include increased heart rate, shallow breathing, muscle tension, and feeling overwhelmed. Recognizing these signs in yourself can help to identify when it is time to take a break from a stressful situation.
Coping Strategies
Stress is an inevitable part of life and can be challenging to manage. However, learning how to cope with stress and practice self-care effectively is essential for maintaining good physical, mental and emotional health. Developing healthy habits such as engaging in regular physical activity, practising mindfulness, eating well, and creating routines or calendars can help reduce stress levels daily. By implementing these strategies into your lifestyle, you will start to feel more relaxed and better equipped to handle any challenges that come your way. Additionally, seeking professional help, if necessary, is also crucial in managing thoughts or feelings that are overwhelming or disruptive.
Benefits of Physical Exercise for Reducing Stress
Regular physical activity can help to counter the adverse effects of stress. Exercise releases endorphins that can improve your mood and reduce feelings of depression, anxiety, and fatigue. Additionally, it helps to strengthen your body’s natural defences against stress-related illnesses such as high blood pressure or heart disease. A combination of aerobic exercise (such as running), strength training (such as weightlifting), stretching, and relaxation techniques are all beneficial for managing stress levels.
Eating Healthy Key to Managing Anxiety and Stress
Eating a balanced and nutritious diet is essential for managing stress. Eating foods rich in antioxidants, vitamins, and minerals can help improve mood and reduce feelings of fatigue or irritability. Making dietary changes such as eating more fresh fruits and vegetables and reducing your intake of processed foods, sugary snacks, or caffeine can help to reduce stress levels. Avoiding processed foods and caffeine and getting enough sleep can also contribute to better overall health, which will help with your ability to cope with stressful situations. Avoiding overeating is also crucial, as this can lead to feeling sluggish, irritable, or anxious, which can further contribute to stress.
Mindfulness Practices: An Effective Tool in Dealing with Stress
Mindfulness practices such as meditation, yoga, and tai chi are beneficial techniques for reducing stress levels. By intentionally bringing awareness to your present moment experience and allowing yourself to observe thoughts, feelings, and sensations without judgment, you can recognize patterns in how you respond to stressful situations.
Organizing Your Time: Creating Calendars; Routines
Creating routines and calendars for managing your daily activities can help make you feel more organized, reducing feelings of overwhelm and anxiety associated with stress. By planning out your day, you can prioritize tasks and create a more structured method of managing workloads. This will help to make sure that all necessary tasks are completed in a timely manner, leaving room for moments of relaxation or enjoyment.
Prioritizing Self-Care
It is important to remember that your well-being comes first. It is easy to get caught up in work or daily tasks, but it is essential to take time out for yourself in order to relax and focus on your own needs. Prioritizing self-care activities such as getting enough sleep, spending time with loved ones, taking breaks from screens, journaling, and practising relaxation techniques can help to reduce stress levels and improve your overall well-being.
Seeking Professional Help
Suppose stress has a significant impact on your daily life. In that case, it may be beneficial to seek professional help from a counsellor or therapist who can provide more effective strategies for managing your responses. Talking about how you feel with someone trained in mental health issues can help to alleviate anxious thoughts or feelings of despair. Delta 8 Gummies could also be used as an additional tool for managing stress levels. These gummies are derived from hemp plants and contain CBD, which has been proven to reduce anxiety and stress levels. The gummies are available in a variety of flavours, making them an easy-to-use option for those looking for a quick way to relax and destress.
Simple Tips for Everyday Living that Promote Well-Being and Reduce Stress Levels
Living a healthy lifestyle that is balanced and manageable can reduce stress levels. Taking time for yourself to engage in activities or hobbies that you enjoy, getting enough sleep, spending time with friends and family, laughing more often, creating boundaries between work and home life, and setting achievable goals are all simple strategies that can be used on a daily basis. Additionally, learning how to say no to tasks or requests that exceed your ability to manage them effectively can also help reduce feelings of stress and overwhelm.
Stress is an inevitable part of life, and it is essential to learn how to manage it effectively. Finding the right mix of activities that work best for you on an individual basis is key to reducing stress levels and promoting overall well-being. Remember to be kind to yourself, take a break when needed, reach out for professional support if required, and don’t forget to have fun along the way. With these tips in mind, you will soon find yourself better equipped to cope with life’s challenges with confidence.
In the final stages of recovery from my mental breakdown, it was about putting tools in place to survive daily life from now on. Understanding my triggers has helped me reduce the mental impact of certain situations. In this respect, self-maintenance is required.
For example, I know lack of sleep impacts me negatively. Therefore, I have rest or a nap if it’s needed, and I have time to do so. Meditation has also allowed me to feel refreshed, without spending too much of my time on this activity. Practice makes perfect!
We need to start treating mental well-being maintenance with the same importance as physical wellbeing maintenance.
Quick note: Some of the links on this page are affiliate links; if you go through them to make a purchase, I will earn a commission. I only recommend products I use myself and thinkwould be useful for you.
Even when I feel mentally well, I now understand that ongoing self-maintenance is required. A runner doesn’t just go for one run, and then stop. We need to start treating mental well-being maintenance with the same importance as physical well-being maintenance.
It’s essential I build on the foundations of self-maintenance I discuss below.
Positive thinking
Every single day since my mental breakdown, I’ve worked hard to replace negative thoughts with positive ones and try not to let my mind run away with itself. The blog has helped and I feel like I’ve processed a lot of emotions by writing about my experiences.
I also now understand that we manifest and create the world we live in, from our thoughts. Whether these are positive or negative can have an impact on our well-being and our outlook on life.
Planning time for self-care
Regardless of your circumstances, we live in a fast-paced and busy world. It is easy to tell ourselves we are too busy, or tired to fit in self-care and self-maintenance. But it must be done. Constant self-care was one of the main factors in recovering from my mental breakdown. I was forced to be kind to myself. And I’ve continued this far beyond recovery.
Meditation for self-maintenance
You may have already viewed my page on my blog, following my hypnotherapy journey. Because of this transformative course, I am now well-practised at mediating and I get huge benefits from doing this.
Life Coaching
Life coaching is something I tried in the past, but I recently opted for the hypnotherapy course instead. The sessions are made up of assisting you in finding your power and the path you want to take – so essentially it is life coaching with the addition of some other concrete tools you can use for the rest of your life.
Maintaining connections
I have written on the blog before about hiding away from social situations during my anxiety-filled days. Making new connections and being honest with my family and friends about my struggles, allowed me to heal. Following my breakdown, the support network I had was vital.
I now make a point of ditching any relationship which doesn’t serve me (not everyone in life is supposed to get along). And I seek out, value and nurture connections which align with my values. Favouring like-minded people has allowed me to finally attain the career I want and be surrounded by people who want to help others. All of which have a positive impact on my mental well-being.
Affirmations for self-maintenance
If you follow the blog, you will know I have affirmation cards dotted around the house, Particularly around my workspace, to motivate me and encourage me to think positively. Especially if I am having a bad day.
The ones I use are centred around career, empowerment and confidence. But there are so many other decks available, depending on your preference. Maybe you want a journal to record gratitude or affirmations in a different format. Take a look at the various options below:
Firstly, I should make it clear I am writing this mainly because I want more people to be aware the #JoinIn Twitter hashtag exists. It’s important people know there is someone out there to support them. Even if it isn’t possible to do this face to face right now.
I previously volunteered for a befriending service and did home visits with an elderly person. But the service also offered much-needed telephone conversations. As you can imagine, this could mean the world to a lonely older person. Therefore, I’m aware of how valuable this contact can be.
To clarify, this isn’t about me being a hero or superior to anyone else. I truly believe we are all muddling through life. Any one of us could be lonely one day, or find ourselves in the depths of depression during the Christmas period. If everyone could understand this, or always try to lead with a kind heart, I don’t think the stigma surrounding mental health would be as bad as it is.
What happened on Christmas morning?
All I can tell you is, I felt compelled to support others on Christmas Day. And the #JoinIn Twitter hashtag was my way of doing it.
I will be honest and say when I first saw the campaign in the lead-up to Christmas, I was dubious about committing. The only reason for my reluctance was self-preservation. I’ve learned to look after myself first. I obviously also want to help others and it’s the reason I started my blog. But how can I help others without preserving my mental strength?
Despite my reluctance, something happened on Christmas morning which made me feel I needed to participate. I looked at our little family and I felt grateful. Lucky to be seeing my parents and finally getting to teach my toddler about Santa.
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Giving back
I genuinely loved interacting under the #JoinIn Twitter hashtag on Christmas Day. I still had quality time with my family, but I was also proud to give something back. The Twitter community helped me out of a dark place. To recover from a mental breakdown.
In a similar way to my blogging journey, this then made me think of all the people who wouldn’t have this luxury. We couldn’t see some family members because of a positive covid test. Therefore I was all too aware some people might just be isolated this year to avoid spreading the virus.
These selfless, kind people needed someone to connect with. To clarify, this isn’t about me being a hero or superior to anyone else. I truly believe we are all muddling through life. Any one of us could be lonely one day, or find ourselves in the depths of depression during the Christmas period. If everyone could understand this, or always try to lead with a kind heart, I don’t think the stigma surrounding mental health would be as bad as it is.
I’ve found receiving and giving the following to others really does help to transform your life.
Compassion
Gratitude
Kindness
Support
Empathy
Love
Hugs
Understanding
I wish everyone would show more of these qualities. The world would be a better place.
For anyone who needs it right now, feel free to sign up to my freebie library and download the self-care checklist
Sarah Millican is an amazing human being for starting the #JoinIn Twitter hashtag and also taking time out of her Christmas day to chat with everyone. I honestly think it’s so lovely. Through her shows, she also raised an amazing amount of money for Mind. A charity doing amazing work to support those with mental health problems.
When confronting my own mental health issues in the past, I’ve always found therapy helped. Something about talking to a stranger means you lower your guard and can often be more honest. I truly think the same concept works online. I’ve sometimes felt more supported by strangers online than people close to me.
My wish and the reason I am writing this
I want to spread the word to everyone. this support exists on Twitter. I would like the chat to continue and I know there are some people who want to do this.
The main thing we all need to be aware of is there is someone there to talk if you feel you need it. And that is priceless. It warmed my heart to see the exchange of kind messages!
Final thoughts
Please come and chat with me in the comments below and let me know what you think of the #JoinIn Twitter hashtag.
Now we are coming to the end of my hypnotherapy journey, it’s fascinating to look back at the process and how the mechanics of the Perma Hypnotherapy model work. And how my life has drastically improved. I completed the journey without having the roadmap to hand. But I have naturally improved each of these areas of my life. And it’s only at the end of the journey, that the full picture of the work we completed is revealed.
I finally feel ready to take on this role. Like I am recovered from my mental breakdown fully, and it’s time to grab these opportunities with both hands. And it’s exactly what I recently did. Why not finally use my experiences to do some good in the world and help other people? It doesn’t feel like work!It feels like I am finally thriving.
Sam – Mummy Conqering Anxiety
Stay tuned for a final, collaborative blog post from Kevin and me – to follow within the next month
The areas of my life which have drastically improved…
Finance
Career
Development
Home
Relationships
Health
PLEASE NOTE: This post contains some affiliate links.If you go through affiliate links to make a purchase, I will earn a small commission, at no additional cost to you. I only recommend products I use myself and think would be helpful for other people
“The optimists believe defeat is just a temporary setback.”
There were many techniques and processes we used throughout our hypnotherapy sessions. But one, in particular, stuck with me. The way Kevin explained this process during our sessions, was by giving a certain part of the brain an instruction to improve or change things. Then the worker or factory makes it happen, behind the scenes. This is the reason that people who complete hypnotherapy courses often see drastic changes, seemingly out of nowhere. Changes are happening on a sunconcious level and this is definitely something I experienced.
Let’s take a look at how each of the areas of my life has dramatically improved as a result of completing this Perma Hypnotherapy course
Finance
My finances before hypnotherapy
I didn’t always have a good relationship with my finances. Back in the anxiety filled days, I would impulse buy things to make myself feel better. Unsurprisingly it never worked and usually made me feel worse. Lately, we’ve had a tough time financially as a family, due to the life-changing circumstances we’ve experienced.
My finances right now and looking to the future
It’s only now I am taking more control of my life and the direction I want to go in, that I am prioritising financial health. Because of this, I feel less fearful about my financial future and a lot more optimistic. As a family, we have financial goals and we have actually started to tackle some of them.
I think the main feeling I have is EVERYTHING WILL BE OKAY – I no longer live in fear that we might have a lack of money or one of us will be made redundant. I am safe in the knowledge that if that happens, we are resilient enough to get through it.
“Optimists recover from their momentary helplessness immediately. Very soon after failing, they pick themselves up, shrug, and start trying again.”
I spent years in a high-paid career that I kind of fell into. Don’t get me wrong, at times I enjoyed it, but ultimately it wasn’t in line with my values, or what I wanted to do with my life.
It is unsurprising that when I did the character strength test, helping other people came top of the list. It seems I wasn’t going to find my calling until I was fulfilling this need. Not only did my mental breakdown allow me to help other people via a blog, (a communication channel I love – writing and getting great feedback, from an amazing online community – who helped me during my darkest days) but it also allowed me to make career changes.
The significant changes I recently made
It was time to finally use the skills and confidence I had gained from the hypnotherapy course to change my situation. I spent a lot of time putting together a fresh CV, using my transferable skills and essentially selling myself. The old me would have come up with an excuse not to apply for the job. The new me just went for it and threw myself into the challenge. Despite still feeling anxiety.
You want to know the main thing I did during my two career change interviews? I was honest. About my mental health, and my reasons for wanting to help people. It’s as if I connected on a human level and feedback from the first job role, after my redundancy, was that my lived experience was taken into consideration. And valued. It was amazing to hear this.
Where am I now?
Because of funding, it was unlikely I could stay in my current role past the new year. Therefore I made a recent decision to apply for another job in the charity sector, doing something I absolutely love. This role involves slightly more hours as well, which will help our financial family goals.
I finally feel ready to take on this role. Like I am recovered from my mental breakdown fully, and it’s time to grab these opportunities with both hands. And it’s exactly what I recently did.
Why not finally use my experiences to do some good in the world and help other people? It doesn’t feel like work!It feels like I am finally thriving.
“Here is the exercise: find one wholly unexpected kind thing to do tomorrow and just do it. Notice what happens to your mood.”
Human beings are constantly changing and we should always want to update and improve ourselves. This is exactly what the Perma model does. It asks you to reevaluate your character strengths and values based on your current life situation. In giving your brain new instructions, related to the life goals you have, you naturally ditch old behaviours that don’t serve you anymore.
How life circumstances can and will change your values
We’ve all heard people talk about ‘life-changing events’ and until you’ve gone through this process yourself, it doesn’t make much sense. Over the last four years, here are some of the life changing events I have experienced: Pregnancy, antenatal depression during pregnancy, started taking anti-depressents when pregnant, severe anxiety about the pregnancy process, a traumatic birth, mental health problems for two years following pregnancy. Returning to work following maternity leave, for the pandemic to hit less than one month later. Adjustment to working from home. Financial impact on our family. Change of routine (partner off work for 12 weeks as vulnerable and nursery closing). Followed by a mental breakdown due to work pressure (literally being afraid to return to my own home and open my laptop). Returning to work, reluctantly. Redundancy a few months later. A further five months off work, which I had to use to recover and financially funded myself. Changing careers and slowly putting my life back together using self improvement techniques.
Motherhood
Motherhood is a great example of how my values completely changed. Subconsciously, my full-time, demanding job was no longer fit for purpose. But I didn’t realise this until things went horribly wrong. The day I sat down to do the character strengths test, it was apparent that some of my values had changed. Motherhood was now my priority and I needed a career to fit around this, to create a work-life balance. Working with my current life situation, instead of against it.
Home life
Home life during my demanding career
Based on everything I’ve described above, you can imagine our home life wasn’t previously very happy. In my most demanding career days, working 12 hours (not including travel time), I was completely exhausted. I would ask my now-hubby not to talk to me all evening. I was beyond tired, pretty much all the time and this was no life for each of us. Yes, I earned a lot of money, but I never had the time or energy to spend it. When I did, we would splash out to “reduce the stress”.
We are not always conscious of our decisions
However, at the point of giving birth to my little one, I didn’t consciously realise this job wouldn’t fit my circumstances anymore. Let alone decide it wasn’t even something I wanted to do. As human beings, we plod along on autopilot, and it’s completely okay if you’re doing this. The key factor is that you need to be happy, not stressed out and mostly content with your actions.
If there is something missing, as there was with me, it might be time to look into a Perma Hypnotherapy course.
Relationships
Our family life
My hubby and I are both strong-minded. We have some communication problems, due to our brains being rewired completely differently. It’s taken us time, patience and hard work to understand each other. As you can imagine, during my mental breakdown and the aftermath, I wasn’t a very happy or easy person to be around,
When I started this hypnotherapy course, I felt like I could make some changes on my own. But I had an overwhelming feeling that something was still missing. I knew I needed help or guidance of some sort, and I am so glad Kevin arrived and posed the opportunity for working together.
Because it’s been so vastly life-changing – it is truly one of the best experiences of my life.
Our relationship communication following my hypnotherapy course
I am not going to tell you our communication is perfect. We will always face the same barriers as before. The significant difference is now, I am more open, honest and in control. By in control, I mean I often walk away when communication isn’t going well. I understand that the brain reacts automatically to stressful situations. A bit like when there is no point talking to a toddler mid-meltdown. Well, the same applies to us as adults. Our primitive automatic response kicks in and it’s best to calmy compose yourself before entering into the discussion, if you can.
What hypnotherapy has helped me do is be more in control of this response. I’ve spent time, meditating, and working on myself, and I am now able to realise when a situation will become heated, or when I am about to react badly myself. Something I never mastered in my life before now.
A little mention for the parents
It’s important to mention the role of parents. Our communication was poor before we had children. Any parent out there will be aware children bring with them new challenges. We are lucky these days if we can fit in any adult conversation, with a loud toddler running around. It’s therefore important to make time to discuss adult matters or reconnect with one another. We now make time. Yes, every day is far from perfect and it’s sometimes a while until our next reconnecting time. But I am confident and assured it will happen. More importantly, I now realise that spending time doing reconnecting has huge benefits for our family. And it’s, therefore, a must!
Health
Because of the significant link between physical and mental health, I have struggled physically for a number of years. Mainly with symptoms of irritable bowel syndrome. My health is still not perfect, but I do now understand when my anxiety symptoms are causing a physical reaction in my body. And I can tell the difference between a food related or mind related reaction.
In moments where I am suffering physically, I try my best to overcome whatever is causing me stress or anxiety, in order to alleviate the symptoms.
Final thoughts
I now have a toolbox I can use to maintain a great standard of wellbeing. Mastering trance sessions has helped me access a place of calm within myself and talk to myself on a sunconsious level. To reevaluate where I am in life and make any nessecery changes.
Kevin provides practical guidance and support – as well as a vast amount of accessible resources which you have for life! I am thankful for this journey and looking forward to the bright future I have ahead of me.
If you’re ready to start your self improvement journey, get in contact with Kevin. You wont be disappointed.
“The takeaway lesson from positive psychology is that positive mental health is not just the absence of mental illness.”
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