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Because I am excited by stories and books again, it was time to dedicate a space on my blog to all things books! Reading is currently helping me mentally. And I wanted to share this passion, in the hope, it might help other people out there.
You can check out Book Corner because it’s where you will hear about my latest book reviews, what I am currently excited about reading, and any stories that literally knocked my socks off.
Quick note: Some of the links contained on this page are affiliate links and if you go through them to make a purchase, I will earn a commission. I only recommend products I use myself and thinkwould be useful for you.
A much-needed break to help me mentally
If you follow me on Twitter, you will know I am taking a two-week break from blogging in September. Whilst writing and being creative is my passion, I have worked non-stop on this little passion project since July 2021. It’s time to refresh and return better than ever. Because I have so many exciting things in the pipeline.
Follow me on Goodreads to hear about my reading progress. Whilst I am not sure I will achieve my target for 2022, I hope to make some reading progress during my two-week blogging break. I can’t wait to get lost in these stories and restore my mental well-being.
I’m going all out & saying this is one of the best books I’ve ever read. The pace, the writing, is outstanding. I couldn’t wait to keep turning pages and it’s renewed my eagerness to get through my TBR list!
Absolutely amazing! Gripping right from the very beginning. Strong characters and the second half of the book had me constantly turning the pages. I loved the characters and got to know them all very well. Would love to see this as a fil…
Books transporting us to a new destination
I have been struggling recently, with physical illness, and being run down. This means I’ve taken a hit emotionally and mentally. I am finding that reading allows me to switch off and recover, which I am thankful for. I often read books to get transported to the destination the book is set in. Lately, I need something to bring me out of the fog and reading is helping me mentally.
Let’s dive into my current reading list
As any book lover will experience, there were many titles on my list to choose from. I managed to narrow it down into a manageable reading list. And put them in an order I was happy with.
Mental Health books currently helping me mentally
It is important to me, to read about mental health, as well as write about it on this blog.
I recently visited the Bradford Literature Festival recently and attend a talk by Horatio Clare, discussing Heavy Light. Reading about mental illness from the perspective of the person is something very interesting to me. As such, I am so eager to read this title. It just had to come top of the pile.
I haven’t finished this book yet. But I can say, it is so well written. And I relate to so much of the content. Whilst I haven’t experienced psychosis, I have experienced seeing a situation from a completely different perspective because of my anxiety and depression. During my pregnancy and stay in the hospital, my and my hubby’s accounts of what took place are so different. It’s like talking to people who were in hospitals at opposite ends of the country. Therefore, I can relate to some of what Horatio and his partner experienced. It is a helpful insight into mental illness, and the lack of support for individuals who are unwell. Also a heartbreaking insight into what their families go through.
“The words with which a breakdown is treated are all medicalised – illness, treatment, nurse, doctor, meds – but the mechanism of treatment belongs to retribution: incarnation, surveillance, behaviour monitoring, parole. For crimes against normality, we get a label and a chemical life sentence. I hate this mechanism. I refuse to believe in it.” ― Horatio Clare, Heavy Light: A Journey Through Madness, Mania and Healing
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The Power Of Letters
If you follow my blog, you will know a letter I wrote was published in an anthology. The proceeds of the book went to the Prince’s Trust and the letters are designed to give the youth of today hope that things can get better. I was honoured to be part of this project.
I can’t wait to read the other amazing letters featured. However, with how I have been feeling recently, I think waiting for a little would be better for me mentally.
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This was a recommendation I picked up and I am so excited to see what it is all about. I feel like this book will contribute to helping me mentally. And will also tie in with the work I am doing in my hypnotherapy course, which helps me to understand how the brain works.
More about the book – From Amazon
The Psychopath Inside, tells the fascinating story of Fallon’s reaction to the discovery that he has the brain of a psychopath. While researching serial murderers, he uncovered a distinct neurological pattern in their brain scans that helped explain their cold and violent behaviour. A few months later he learned that he was descended from a family with a long line of murderers which confirmed that Fallon’s own brain pattern wasn’t a fluke.
As a scientist convinced that humans are shaped by their genetics, Fallon set out to reconcile the truth about his brain with everything he knew about the mind, behaviour, and the influence of nature vs. nurture on our personalities. How could he, a successful scientist and a happy family man with no history of violence, be a psychopath? How much did his biology influence his behaviour? Was he capable of some of the gruesome atrocities perpetrated by the serial killers he had studied?
Combining his personal experience with scientific analysis, Fallon shares his journey and the discoveries that ultimately led him to understand that, despite everything, science can teach us, humans are even more complex than we can imagine.
I know this title is part of a series. But having read the reviews, I have decided to read this one as a stand-alone book. We all have different preferences when reading and personally, I want titles which have great reviews, otherwise, I simply won’t finish them. This book sounds like the best one in the series. Obviously, I can’t pass judgment until I’ve read it. Sign up to be alerted each time a blog post is released, and you can catch up with the review when I finish it.
Getting lost in a book is helping me mentally. I love nothing more than a thriller, or crime drama. Therefore, naturally, it is the type of book I love reading.
A bit more information (courtesy of Wob)
Dark secrets, a devastating mystery and the games people play: the gripping new novel from the bestselling author of The House We Grew Up In and The Third Wife.
You live on a picturesque communal garden square, an oasis in urban London where your children run free, in and out of other people’s houses.
You’ve known your neighbours for years and you trust them. Implicitly.
You think your children are safe.
But are they really?
Midsummer night: a thirteen-year-old girl is found unconscious in a dark corner of the garden square. What really happened to her? And who is responsible?
Utterly believable characters, a gripping story and a dark secret buried at its core: this is Lisa Jewell at her heart-stopping best.
I have decided to add this to my list, but whether I read it or not will be very much based on how I like the other one in the series. I realise it sounds a bit quirky to read the titles in this order, but I love doing things my own way and this feels right. If I like the first title, it will be like watching the series and then the prequel.
This is another title, which is technically a series, but can be treated as a stand-alone book. I can’t wait to read this one. I love high-quality writing. And the reviews suggest I won’t be disappointed with this one.
A Thousand Moons skips forward a few years from Days Without End and although it’s in effect a sequel, the novel stands alone, wasting no time with backstory as it launches into its typically rollicking tale.
Even when you come out of bloodshed and disaster in the end you have got to learn to live.
Winona is a young Lakota orphan adopted by former soldiers Thomas McNulty and John Cole. Living with Thomas and John on the farm they work in 1870s Tennessee, she is educated and loved, forging a life for herself beyond the violence and dispossession of her past. But the fragile harmony of her unlikely family unit, in the aftermath of the Civil War, is soon threatened by a further traumatic event, one which Winona struggles to confront, let alone understand.
Told in Sebastian Barry’s rare and masterly prose, A Thousand Moons is a powerful, moving study of one woman’s journey, her determination to write her own future, and the enduring human capacity for love. (courtesy of Amazon).
‘Nobody writes like, nobody takes lyrical risks like, nobody pushes the language, and the heart, and the two together, quite like Sebastian Barry does.’ ALI SMITH
My hubby has been nagging me for years to get the full Harry Potter series and read it. He is aware I love the description and imagination in a book, much more than in a film. Up to now, I have been reluctant. But I will be giving this a go and see what happens. And whether I then want to read the rest of the books. Stay tuned on the blog and also on Twitter.
Final thoughts
I have so many titles on my bookshelf and I intend to continue my reading journey, with another Goodreads challenge in 2023. Stay tuned to the blog, on Book Corner for more of my current reading lists.
My battle with perinatal anxiety & depression was a long and scary journey.
Throwing hormones into the mix, along with a history of managing anxiety-related issues and panic attacks, was probably always going to be a recipe for disaster. But pregnancy was the point in my life when I finally needed help. Of the medicated kind.
The factors at stake for me during pregnancy were not only the worries related to the actual pregnancy, but risks to my sanity, family, income-earning ability, and my job role.
let’s look at the definition of perinatal:
Perinatal mental health (PMH) problems are those which occur during pregnancy or in the first year following the birth of a child. Perinatal mental illness affects up to 27% of new and expectant mums and covers a wide range of conditions.
As a result of working full-time, I put a lot of additional pressure on myself. It’s fair to say I wasn’t exactly working for a business where having kids was fully supported. I think this is improving, but there is still a lot of work to do in the corporate world. Women shouldn’t have to choose between having children or succeeding in a career. Businesses need to ensure both options are achievable.
Although I know my mushy brain raised red flags at work, it was too early to announce the pregnancy. We were still within the three-month period, and to be honest I didn’t want anyone to know, because I thought it made me look weak.
Quick note: Mummy Conquering Anxiety is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program. Some of the links contained on this page are affiliate links and if you go through them to make a purchase, I will earn a commission. I only recommend products I use myself and think would be useful for other people.
Working full-time during pregnancy and having pre-existing anxiety issues was a lot to deal with. I hope telling my story will be of some benefit to you.
In this post, I will cover the following topics:
What is antenatal depression
My backstory
The pivotal moment I knew I needed help
Antidepressants
How I think mental health services for women during pregnancy could be improved
Why are women still afraid to speak out on mental health matters?
Techniques that helped me through
What the experience taught me
Mummy comes second
Often, we neglect our own mental health to be a mummy. Self-care comes bottom of the list and there aren’t enough hours in the day to complete every task on the never-ending list. I found out the hard way. You don’t realise you’re neglecting yourself until it’s too late. At this point, the damage is already done.
From my own experience, health services need to be more proactive in respect of pre-pregnancy mental health problems. There is a lot of information and help out there relating to postnatal mental health problems. But my experience didn’t fit into this category. It made me feel like this was supposed to happen to me after I had the baby, not now. Surely? Why was this happening now?
Looking back, the impact of this shameful thinking only made matters worse. I was afraid to speak out and visit the doctor, for fear someone would think I was an unfit mother. The anxiety talking in my head would tell me, you can’t look after yourself, how can you look after a baby?
I’ve also found these resources for anyone who needs to read more on the subject. You can filter by area and will see a range of therapists, charities, and support groups.
Please read on for the full story of my battle with antenatal depression…
My backstory
I was two months into the pregnancy when I started feeling the symptoms listed in this article:
I was at work full time, struggling with the office-environment heat. Eating properly was just not happening, due to a constant sicky feeling (I felt permanently sick throughout pregnancy but was never actually sick!). I was far away from the toilet and needed to pee every 20 minutes – you get the picture. I actually lost weight over the course of my pregnancy, due to not getting enough nutrients.
My hormones and worries made it incredibly difficult to concentrate on my work tasks and I became paranoid that I was unable to do my job. I was seeking reassurance from a management team, who were used to me just getting on with things, however difficult the task was. Although I know my mushy brain raised red flags at work, it was too early to announce the pregnancy. We were still within the three-month period. And to be honest I didn’t want anyone to know, because I thought it made me look weak.
We need our tribe
A mental health specialist once made the point, the people we refuse to tell during this three-month period are the very people we would need if something unforeseen was to happen. This has stuck with me, and it’s true. In the future, I probably wouldn’t open up in the workplace, unless I felt comfortable in doing so. But I would definitely let my friends and family in, sooner than I did before. They are the tribe you need around you, at such a testing time in life. It takes a village and all that jazz (it really does BTW – safety in numbers with toddlers, hehe).
The pivotal moment I knew I needed help
I tried to plod along for a bit. We had a holiday planned (pre-planned before pregnancy). And I remember spending every waking moment of the getaway fixating on work and the conversation I’d had with a manager before leaving. The manager in question was trying to gauge why I was being so mushy in the brain (baby brain is real people). I wasn’t really capable of communicating verbally at that point and therefore, it was all a bit of a mess.
The damage caused by keeping these feelings to yourself at such a vulnerable, unpredictable time in life, is colossal. Then going through possibly the worst trauma of your life and trying to look after a small baby who is totally relying on you. It’s a lot to cope with. And we should be able to open up about it without fear.
It’s fair to say my worries, and anxiety levels about being bad at my job, pretty much ruined my experience on holiday. As much as I told myself to put the thoughts out of my head, they would come back. Even trying to forget about the drama at work was exhausting.
Upon my return from holiday, I booked an appointment with the doctor. What I experienced during my appointment didn’t help me at all. They were reluctant to prescribe antidepressants during pregnancy and were unable to explain why. I was left to muddle through at work and I am sure you can all imagine, things worsened. My mental health was in serious decline and I didn’t know what to do.
Why it’s vital to reach out for help
The situation wouldn’t improve until I had the help I needed. My instinct told me this was the case, but I felt like the doctors were not listening to me. This resulted in me worrying and playing out situations in my head, which only fuelled the negative anxious thoughts I was already having. When you’re at your most vulnerable, you shouldn’t have to fight to access mental health services and the solutions you need.
I knew I needed medication at this point. Something to help me out of a black hole. So I could focus on growing a child and balancing the pressures of daily life.
Around this time, I also experienced very rude reception staff when trying to make appointments. I was speaking to them following a few hours of sleep, worrying all night and I just needed help. I ended up crying down the phone twice and I honestly don’t think they are adequately trained to deal with people experiencing mental health problems.
Complaining to the GP
I made a complaint and left the doctor’s surgery, following an incident where they asked me to visit reception. I nearly had a panic attack and was afraid to approach the reception desk due to the treatment I’d received previously. I didn’t need rude people dealing with my care, on top of my existing need for help and my current, very fragile mental state.
Talk about adding to my mum-guilt. Making an expectant mother feel like they are harming their unborn child, by seeking out medication to help both parties.
Mind.org provides a lot of useful information about taking anti-depressants during pregnancy. When I was in the midst of trying to convince a doctor to prescribe the medication I required (it’s ridiculous I even have to write this in a blog post), I wish someone had provided me with the information I needed to make my case.
The doctor’s viewpoint on medication during pregnancy
I was asked to go away and try other techniques to avoid medication and the doctor insinuated, had I been on medication before pregnancy, it would be fine to continue taking it. Talk about adding to my mum guilt. Making an expectant mother feel like they are harming their unborn child, by seeking out medication to help both parties.
Waiting in limbo for a solution
I personally spent two months in limbo, before finally receiving medication, which eventually helped. Including the adjustment period, I would estimate I spent five months of a nine-month pregnancy suffering, unnecessarily. Antidepressants take a while to start working, and initially, you have some pretty severe side effects. I was already walking around like a zombie and new medication didn’t help the situation.
Based on my experience, I know we need to change the system to avoid negative outcomes at a time in life where a woman should be happy and thriving.
I was desperately trying to find a solution to ease the pressure. My mental health issues impacted my well-being, my job, my relationship. In addition to the confidence, I had to be a good mother. Also, my ability to buy things for the baby and it made the whole experience pretty grim.
A difficult pregnancy
I look back on my pregnancy now and don’t remember having one good day. I probably did, but I was plagued with uncontrollable anxiety and depression. As well as trying to manage all other areas of life.
It’s definitely had a bearing on my decision to have another child. I have anxiety about what another pregnancy would be like. Would I be a mess again, unable to cope, or worse this time? Whilst also trying to care for a toddler. I also don’t have much faith I would get help from a doctor if I needed it. And I know a lot of other people who feel like this.
The research on taking antidepressants whilst pregnant
From conducting my own research, I was only able to find one study which mentioned the medication I was on. And how it could have an impact on an unborn baby. Surely, I thought, having a healthy mother is vitally important. Given the way I was dealt with by the doctor, I expected to find endless studies backing up the reluctance to prescribe the medication, but that just wasn’t the case.
How I think mental health services for women during pregnancy could be improved
Whilst in hospital Let’s just talk for a second about how calling anyone with anxiety issues, ‘difficult’, can be extremely damaging in itself. It made me feel like an inconvenience, like I wanted to go home straight away.
Unfortunately, the health service is understaffed, and staff do not have time to speak to you one on one and deal with your anxiety issues. Whilst the people caring for me were lovely, salt-of-the-earth people, who were clearly meant to be in this job. I still felt like a burden.
Traumatic experiences during my stay on the postnatal ward
I remember the morning after my C-section, with only basic over-the-counter medication, to deal with a major operation and a serious infection. Being called “difficult” for not wanting to sit up in bed until I had my painkillers. Let’s just talk for a second about how calling anyone with anxiety issues, “difficult”, can be extremely damaging in itself. It made me feel like an inconvenience. I wanted to go home straight away, but I couldn’t as I was under observation.
During my stay, I was in agony, and I kept receiving the pain medication at the incorrect times, which resulted in some nasty withdrawal symptoms from the whole, traumatic ordeal. Whilst I would only wish to thank the staff involved in my care (they do their absolute best every single day and you can see that). These circumstances resulted in my anxiety levels rising, in a situation and surroundings where there was nobody but my hubby to understand or support me.
The need for a birthing partner who knows you well
They even sent my hubby home, so there were periods when I didn’t have anyone to understand me. And I couldn’t get out of bed or look after myself!
Being in my head at the time, I was honestly afraid of how I would be judged in that situation. Would the nurse caring for her think I was an inadequate mother? Were they making notes about me and recording what was happening? Would I get a visit from social services? Because I was clearly unstable for thinking like this?
He was initially sent home during my labour period, at the pivotal moment when my pain was increasing and I felt like nobody was listening when I said that. Things progressed quickly in his absence and he was called back. However, the endless number of factors that worsened my anxiety during his absence had already made me defensive and less likely to open up. From this point, I felt trapped. And my anxiety spiralled.
The system, funding, and government intervention need to improve. It simply isn’t good enough to have a lack of care, over-tired staff, and possible negative outcomes. When you are dealing with the care of a new mother and child.
The pandemic worsening the situation
To send partners home when they are really the only ones looking after the expectant mother and taking time to understand their needs is unacceptable. The anxiety about mothers being left to fend for themselves only worsened during the pandemic. This Independent article goes into more detail. This Guardian article also touches on the issue.
Possible solutions?
I also don’t believe a one size fits all approach is sufficient when you are dealing with mental health. It would help to have mental health specialists visit patients in the antenatal ward. But it’s all about the lack of funding for services. And whilst some NHS trusts have this specialism, most still don’t. It’s also vital to allow birthing partners to stay with the expectant mother, especially when staff are too busy to care for their needs.
I am eternally grateful to the staff at our local hospital for ensuring our post-pregnancy outcome was as positive as possible given their resources. I am aware some of the issues discussed in this article can lead to negative outcomes for babies and parents. And my thoughts go out to anyone who is impacted.
Need help?
If you are impacted by any of the issues we have touched on in this article. Here are some charities that could help: Tommy’s or Bliss. They are fantastic charities doing a lot of work to help improve maternity services. I’ve also recently come across PaNDAS which specialise in postnatal Depression. Pregnant then screwed is a charity advocating for women’s rights at work.
Why are women STILL afraid to speak out on mental health matters?
The following quote is from a Glamour article and summarises how one woman felt about admitting there was a mental health issue during pregnancy:
“It’s comforting to know that I’m not the only one who feels ashamed. A woman I know recently told me that when she was pregnant, her mind was in a particularly dark place but she feared that telling someone she felt depressed could result in her baby being taken away when he was born. For months she resisted medication because she thought that being a medicated mom equaled being a bad parent. She has since started medication but is too ashamed to tell her in-laws, and she has gone from wanting multiple children to writing off any future pregnancies.”
Why is this still a problem in our society? And why isn’t someone helping pregnant women be honest and get the help they need? I do think mental health services have improved and are continuing in the right direction, but we still have a long way to go.
The quote above describes the way I felt and the way I was subsequently made to feel by a doctor. How many expectant mothers are turned away and then never have the confidence to ask for help again? As I am quite a strong person, I persisted and luckily got the help I needed. Doing this took every ounce of energy I had though. Just before getting the medication I needed, I booked 10 days holiday from work, because I just couldn’t carry on. I was even afraid to take sick leave because it would be questioned in respect of my pregnancy. I don’t know where I would be without the medication I started taking during pregnancy.
Adding a label to my experiences
It would have been beneficial for the doctor to mention or label, what I was experiencing could be a battle with antenatal depression. Nobody ever mentioned this term to me and it’s only now, looking back on the situation, that I know what it is. It has a name and I can talk about it now.
Is someone spying on me?
During my pre-pregnancy appointments and my stay on the ward (4 days), I remember feeling as though I was being watched. Checked up on, and questioned a lot. The obstetrician was obviously aware of my anxiety issues and I was overweight, which required additional check-up appointments.
Seeing through an anxiety lens
Maybe the staff weren’t acting any differently, just doing their job. The point is I felt like this throughout my care. Up to the point of discharge from the hospital post-pregnancy.
The damage caused by keeping these feelings to yourself at such a vulnerable, unpredictable time in life, is colossal. Then going through possibly the worst trauma of your life and trying to look after a small baby who is totally relying on you. It’s a lot to cope with. And we should be able to open up about it without fear.
My hubby describes me as being reluctant to visit our little pumpkin in the baby unit (she had to be monitored due to an infection). And he puts it down to my pain levels.
Being in my head at the time, I was honestly afraid of how I would be judged in that situation. Would the nurse caring for her think I was an inadequate mother? Were they making notes about me and recording what was happening? Would I get a visit from social services? Because I was clearly unstable for thinking like this?
Pressure to breastfeed
There is so much talk about breastfeeding whilst you’re there and you are made to feel inadequate, whether this is intentional or not. The surroundings also don’t help you get the rest you need: babies crying all night, women screaming in pain. Although I felt for all parties involved and could relate, it isn’t the best setting in which to recover from a major operation with out-of-control anxiety issues.
Techniques that helped me through
Stopping full-time work one month early
The pressure on expectant mothers from the workplace also has to stop! Slowly society is progressing in this area, but the progress isn’t quick enough for me or other poor mothers, who have additional guilt, added to the mixing pot of hormones, emotions, physically struggling, anxiety about life-changing circumstances, and the thought of being responsible for a new baby.
When it came to it, admitting I needed to stop working due to severe hip pain and mental health issues, really helped me. Although having to do this makes you feel inadequate. Nobody at work visited me, whether it be management or HR to ask how I was doing. The only sympathetic comments I got were from other expectant mothers. Who literally felt my pain in respect of lack of support.
Feeling isolated and lonely
It is isolating and lonely to feel like nobody understands how you feel. You’re so tired at that point. It’s too much to try and explain it to someone, who frankly doesn’t understand and doesn’t really want to. I stayed quiet for a lot of time and put my head down until I could finally finish work.
The day I finished work, I visited the doctor after not sleeping all night, feeling sick, and suffering from severe anxiety. And this was the route I took to stop working. It had to reach a breaking point before I could finally stop. They told me not to go back until after my maternity leave ended. The worry then became about limited time with my child. Was I wasting a month before the baby was here? Should I still be working?
Workplaces need to do better
I think workplaces and the government are also accountable for supporting women and making employees feel secure in having children and thriving at their jobs. You shouldn’t have to pick one or the other.
I am a huge fan of the shared paternity leave. The hubby & I have discussed doing it with a second child. Unfortunately, I don’t think enough people know about the option or want to take it up. Hopefully, this will change.
The pressure on expectant mothers from the workplace also has to stop! Slowly society is progressing in this area, but the progress isn’t quick enough for me or other poor mothers, who have additional guilt, added to the mixing pot of hormones, emotions, physically struggling, anxiety about life-changing circumstances, and the thought of being responsible for a new baby.
Self-care
During the month off work pre-pregnancy, I made time for self-care. Baths, naps, candles, chocolate, strawberry laces (even though they made me sick towards the end, with my limited stomach space). Anything that would lift my mood and make me feel a little better.
Although I was hesitant to finish work early, as I was only having 9 months at most with my little pumpkin. It was refreshing to have a month off before the baby came. I did all the things that made me feel better and stopped dragging my overloaded body to the train station every day. To a job where I didn’t feel supported. It was lovely to be out of the toxic environment.
The home was my haven
Nesting – we’ve all heard that term used. To describe a woman’s instinct to prepare for the impending arrival of a brand-new baby. I love this description from a Dad’s perspective.
My hubby was used to the nesting process (I’ve always been obsessed with cleaning). He’s the messy, unorganised one in the relationship and I’m the one who gets excited about new cleaning products. (standards have slipped though, now I have a toddler).
On the subject of men, I would also like to mention, this issue doesn’t just impact mothers. Men’s mental health can also be affected by pregnancy and the aftermath.
What the experience taught me
I have learned my lesson about prioritising the health of myself and my baby. Also, not caring about what other people think. Especially those who have no bearing on my life and the decisions I make. Ultimately you as an individual will know what’s best for you and you should push to receive the help you need. In the future, I would stick up for myself when it comes to doctors’ appointments and medication.
If and when we have another baby, I would do things differently this time. You don’t know what to expect when it’s your first pregnancy. You must experience it for yourself, in order to learn and grow.
Final thoughts
Everyone has their own way of coping with traumatic events and mine is blogging.
I can only relay my personal experience, feelings, and thoughts on this subject. I am aware there are a lot of additional factors and issues surrounding these sensitive subjects,
If you have been affected by any of these issues, let’s all speak out and raise awareness. That’s how change happens. Please feel free to get in touch, or leave a comment below. I would love to hear from you.
Life’s a wild ride, isn’t it? Some days, it’s like walking on a rainbow, while others feel more like a whirlwind of endless tasks that make you feel like you’re running a never-ending marathon. During those turbo-charged times, finding a smidge of calm can seem as difficult as finding a needle in a haystack. But let me let you in on a little secret: it’s exactly during these fast-paced times that mindfulness plays its trump card.
Each morning, before you leap into the day, spend a quiet moment setting an intention. It could be as straightforward as saying, “Today, I will keep my cool, no matter what.” Next up, it’s time to tackle your to-do list – but smartly. Highlight what needs your attention the most. You’ll be acting instead of reacting, and trust me, that feels so much better.
Breathe And Pause
Ever noticed how your breath is like your trusty sidekick? Always there, right when you need it. So in those intense, I-can’t-catch-a-breath moments, it’s time to get back to basics. Take a break, breathe in deeply, hold for a sec, and then breathe out. This nifty trick, also known as diaphragmatic breathing, is like your personal stress-busting superhero that you can call upon anytime you need.
Mindful Eating
Here’s a thought: when life turns into a whirlwind, meal times often feel like just another task. But what if we turned them into an opportunity to practice mindfulness? Next time you’re eating, really savour your food. Enjoy its colour, texture, and aroma. Take in all the flavours as you chew. Not only will you be more present, but your tummy and overall health will thank you too!
Mindful Chores
What if we could turn everyday tasks into mini-moments of mindfulness? Sounds intriguing, right? Be it folding laundry, washing dishes, or sweeping the floor, start focusing on what you’re doing and how it feels. Watch how these routine chores turn into peaceful pockets of mindfulness.
Harness The Power Of Music
Who doesn’t love a bit of background music, right? It can be a great buddy when practising mindfulness. Can’t find the right tracks? Why not explore torrent sites for music or check out mindfulness apps that offer chill playlists? You’ll be surprised how the right music can set the tone for your day.
Seek Solitude
Carving out a bit of ‘me-time’ can be a total game-changer in a busy day. Find a quiet spot at home or a peaceful corner in a park, or even just a cosy nook in your office. Spend 10-15 minutes there, soaking in your thoughts or maybe doing some journaling. It’s like finding an oasis of calm in a desert of busyness.
Guided Meditation
New to mindfulness? Guided meditations are like a helping hand, guiding you through the practice. There are tons of apps and online platforms that offer step-by-step sessions. Even just 5 minutes can help you relax and clear your mind. Give it a go, and you’ll see what I mean.
Connect With Nature
Ever spent a moment just soaking in the great outdoors? The sun on your face, the wind in your hair – it’s like nature’s own brand of mindfulness. Next time you’re feeling stressed, try spending a few minutes outside. Feel the breeze, listen to the birds, watch the clouds. You’ll be surprised at how grounded and peaceful you’ll feel.
Laugh It Off
We’ve all heard the saying, “Laughter is the best medicine,” and boy, is it true! A good chuckle can cut stress, boost your mood, and even improve your health. So when things get tough, find a reason to giggle. Share a joke, watch a funny clip, or play with your pet – because nothing brings you into the present moment quite like a good belly laugh.
Digital Detox
Let’s face it, we’re pretty much attached to our devices these days. But taking a digital detox – even if it’s just for an hour – can do wonders for your mindfulness practice. Switch off your devices and do something offline. Read a book, cook a meal, or just enjoy a hot drink. Your mind will thank you.
Progress, Not Perfection
Last but definitely not least, remember this: mindfulness isn’t about becoming a Zen master or having an empty mind. It’s about being aware of your thoughts and emotions, and gently bringing them back to the now. And sure, your mind will wander – that’s just part of the deal! But the key isn’t perfection; it’s progress.
So, even when the pace of life tries to sweep you off your feet, remember you’ve got the tools to stay grounded. Mindfulness isn’t a quick escape from life’s busyness, but a secret weapon to navigate it more effectively. So take a moment, breathe, and just be. It’s like discovering your own personal island of calm amidst the hustle and bustle of life.
According to the Word Health Organisation, approximately 16% of adults aged 60 and above suffer from a mental health disorder. In most cases, depression, anxiety disorders, dementia, and isolation are the most common issues. Caring for an elderly parent with mental health problems can be challenging and emotionally demanding, often requiring unique skills and support systems. Fortunately, the following tips can make the task easier.
Prepare yourself for the emotional aspect
Caring for an elderly parent is hard enough, but the difficulty level is higher when your ageing loved one has mental health issues. Of course, you love your parent, but other emotions can hinder you from providing the care they need. The most common things you may have to deal with r are worry, anger, frustration, and helplessness. All these are common; experiencing them does not make you a bad caregiver. Preparing yourself for these emotions can help you develop helpful ways to address them.
Monitor their movement
Available data shows that about 53,337 were detained under the Mental Health Act from 2001 to 2002. Older people also fall victim to such detentions when they have mental health issues. Don’t be surprised by how easily your elderly parent can slip out of the house and wander around. The last thing you want is to receive a call that they have been detained under the Mental Health Act.
So, always ensure you always have extra eyes on your ageing loved one. And in case of any detention, you can seek legal assistance, depending on where you live. For example, if you live in Sheffield, you can run an online search for ‘local solicitors Sheffield‘ to find legal experts near you. But make sure they have expertise in mental health cases.
Schedule regular medical visits
You’ll need all the professional help you can get, starting with regular medical visits. Your doctor will perform regular diagnoses and prescribe new treatments when necessary. You’ll also receive tips on how to care for your elderly parent and help them get better. Aside from visiting a doctor, work with therapists to help them learn how to cope with any underlying issues responsible for their poor mental health. You can also hire trained nurses or caregivers to provide home care and ease the burden of responsibility on your shoulders.
Educate yourself
It’s almost impossible to care for an ageing parent if you don’t know or understand what mental health challenges they’re dealing with. So, take the time to educate yourself about it. Understand its symptoms, triggers, and treatment options. This way, you can anticipate and address their unique needs. You can also contact support groups and find resources online.
Open, clear, and honest communication are crucial when caring for an ageing loved one with mental health issues. Speak calmly and do your best to ensure that you understand them and that they understand you. Also, encourage your parent to express their thoughts and feelings and actively listen without judging them. They might also need a safe and non-threatening environment, making them comfortable to open up or discuss their concerns. Being harsh, rude, disrespectful, or aggressive will only make your parents withdraw in fear and choose not to communicate.
I have a great guest post for you today. From Workingthedoors.co.uk.
I am happy to support any message about mental health, whatever industry that may be in. None of us are immune to the impact of mental health problems. And it’s all about raising awareness.
Whilst I am aware both men and women work in the security industry. It is a predominantly male-dominated occupation. And more importantly, we know men’s mental health isn’t talked about enough.
I hope this post helps anyone out there, who may be struggling mentally!
Introduction
It’s no surprise that working in the security industry can be demanding and at times dangerous. But few of us realize just how deep an impact it has on the mental health of those who take this job on, especially men.
Recent surveys have revealed a concerning level of depression among workers in this sector, as well as alarming trends in violence against employees. In this article, we will explore these issues and potential solutions to improve overall well-being in the security industry.
Violence in the Security Industry
A recent survey from WorkingtheDoors.co.uk found that 51% are verbally abused every time they work, with 98% of incidents occurring in nightclubs and bars.
Alongside this, 24% of workers also reported experiencing physical and verbal violence at least once a week. These statistics highlight the dangerous environment in which many people are required to work, and the toll it can take on their mental health.
A report from WorkingtheDoors.co.uk found that 57% say that an incident has affected their mental state more than 24 hours after the event, with almost half of those sympathizing that an incident has been severely traumatic. This highlights the serious mental health issues that can arise from this job, and the lack of access to resources to help with it.
Causes of Depression in the Security Industry
The causes of depression in security workers are complex, but there are a number of potential factors contributing to it.
These include long hours and low pay; lack of support from employers; poor working conditions and lack of job security; exposure to high levels of violence or trauma, and the stigma attached to talking about mental health issues.
Managing Depression in the Security Industry
Given the serious implications of depression for security workers, it’s important to look at ways to manage this issue and improve overall well-being in this sector. Employers can help by providing better working conditions, a secure job contract, and access to mental health services.
Additionally, having clear policies on anti-violence, training on how to respond when an incident occurs, and a supportive workplace culture can all help to reduce the risk of depression.
Ways to Combat Depression
Get more exercise
Exercising more can help to reduce the symptoms of depression, and it’s particularly important for security workers who may be struggling with long hours and stress. Taking regular breaks from work and getting at least 30 minutes of exercise a day can make a big difference.
Get more sleep
Lack of sleep can exacerbate depression and anxiety, so it’s important for security workers to make sure they get enough rest. This means making sure you have a relaxing bedtime routine, avoiding stimulants such as caffeine late at night and trying to stick to a consistent sleep pattern.
Seek professional help
It’s also important to seek professional help if you or someone you know is struggling with depression. Speak to your doctor or a mental health professional who can provide advice and support, as well as access to therapy and medication if necessary.
Identify your stressors
Depression can be triggered by a range of stressors, so it’s important to identify what these are in order to manage them. This could mean looking at the environment you work in and making changes to reduce your exposure to violence or trauma; challenging stigmas around mental health issues; taking steps to improve working conditions; or talking about your feelings with a friend or family member.
Conclusion
The security industry is an important but often overlooked sector and one in which workers face daily challenges to their mental health.
By acknowledging the issues of violence and depression among those in this field, employers can take steps to improve overall well-being by providing better working conditions, access to mental health services and a supportive workplace culture. With these measures in place, security workers can feel better equipped to manage their mental well-being and take steps towards a healthier future.
In true Mummy Conquering Anxiety fashion, I wanted to post something real and honest for Mental Health Awareness Week this year! I want to remind you all, these posts are hard for me to write and probably, for you to hear. However, the topic is relevant and important. Creating my new beginning, in respect of my career, was the best thing I ever did. And I know other people are experiencing the same treatment at work.
I second guess myself about whether I should publish these posts and therefore, this one has been in the pipeline for a while. However, now is the right time to release this post. Because my work situation is now vastly different. I am a different person, with a different outlook. BUT I will always be a mental health advocate.
The back story
Here goes. I wrote this post a while ago, as a means of getting through one of the most stressful times in my life. As it happens, changing my situation was also the most life-changing.
Following total burnout in my job, I suffered a complete mental breakdown. Cue falling to the floor, tears, not making any sense. Like someone switched off my brain. And it wouldn’t restart. At the time, I didn’t want it to. It was the lowest point of my life. I’d suffered from low points with my mental health in the past. High anxiety levels and depression were common in times of stress, but it was never this bad.
The culture must change. We can no longer pile an unreasonable amount of pressure on employees and expect them not to eventually burn out.
My personal experience
The return to work – almost at my new beginning
Following months’ off work and pressure to return, I went back into the workplace. And eagerly awaited a redundancy date. Having an end date in sight, kept me going.
Ultimately, I was temporarily throwing myself back into a situation where miscommunication and downright rudeness in the workplace, had led me to a mental breakdown. Going back into that situation, for even a day, was going to be a mammoth task. Remember when I returned, I didn’t know how long I would stay in the role. And I don’t do very well with the unknown. It’s one of the biggest drivers of my anxiety. Knowing where I stand and having a routine helps keep it under control.
My life is different and much happier, and I now have support in my new workplace. And I am thankful for the journey because it taught me so much about my mental strength in challenging times.
Getting back into it
Upon my return, I was left alone for the first month, with everyone telling me “we want to make sure you’re okay“, “bear in mind your mental health” and I knew it was bullshit. It was a line they had to say to appear supportive. That’s what some workplaces do. In this day and age, for some businesses, it’s all talk, no action. And I think it’s despicable. I would rather the business be honest and not have a mental health policy at all, rather than provide empty words on such an important topic.
Jobless, ‘unemployed’ was soon going to be my label. All of a sudden I felt a lack of self-confidence. A lack of security. An urge to review my money situation and sort out bills that still needed paying, with one less income. But I still had not recovered fully and didn’t have the energy. A battle between wanting to prioritise myself for once, but lacking the motivation to do so.
I hope EVERYONE starts to place the same physical illness value on mental illness. Especially after we’ve all endured so much trauma lately.
Poor management
Another factor in all my previous job roles, was a lack of knowledge at the top. Yes, managers are there to manage, not necessarily understand how to do your job. But if they don’t have a clue about the work the people they are supposed to be supporting do daily, what’s the point? How will they ever recognise the stress triggers of overworked staff? How do they even know what too much work is?
From a human perspective, we should all be able to communicate appropriately with someone whos suffered a mental breakdown. But this takes training and awareness!
I’ve written previously about how I witnessed rude, biased, and bullying behaviour in workplaces I was part of, and this spans my whole working life. Although I wouldn’t relive the pandemic if I had a choice, I do hope it’s brought significant changes to the office environment in the UK. The culture must change. We can no longer pile an unreasonable amount of pressure on employees and expect them not to eventually burn out.
Where it all went wrong
My first anxiety-filled morning began a while after I returned to work. When you’re constantly having to justify yourself and the work you are completing, it is exhausting. This is what I was being asked to do on this occasion and given my mental health history, I think there was a better way of doing things.
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My thoughts in hindsight
Throughout all of this, I do have some grasp of the fact that employees in the department were under daily stress because of an impending redundancy and I take on board the fact this can impact a person’s behaviour. But it still doesn’t make poor behaviour towards staff correct. And it certainly doesn’t help my already fragile anxiety levels. From a human perspective, we should all be able to communicate appropriately with someone whos suffered a mental breakdown. But this takes training and awareness!
The redundancy announcement
It is hurtful when you’ve invested so much time and energy into your career and it comes to an end in this way. My heart goes out to anyone whos been through or is currently going through a redundancy process.
On the day I found out our redundancy date, I felt numb. I thought I would feel differently. It felt just like any other announcement. Following my mental health struggles, I couldn’t be bothered sorting out the admin and conversations involved in leaving. I wouldn’t feel satisfied until I had left the company and the redundancy money was in my bank.
Jobless, ‘unemployed’ was soon going to be my label. All of a sudden I felt a lack of self-confidence. A lack of security. An urge to review my money situation and sort out bills that still needed paying, with one less income. But I still had not recovered fully and didn’t have the energy. A battle between wanting to prioritise myself for once, but lacking the motivation to do so.
10 days to go – the worst 10 days of my life
10 days to go. Then I would be unemployed. Something I never anticipated I would be happy about. Finally, done and dusted with the workplace that I once loved, but then also caused me unreasonable amounts of stress.
To deal with the anger, I started journaling my feelings. I thought, what’s the point in stressing about this when I had 10 days to go. But bear in mind, that I was now a different person. More protective of my mental health. I viewed life differently. It was great I had grown in confidence to change the situation that broke me. But I was still in the situation that broke me. And I was still facing the same daily battles that sent me to hell and back.
Other posts you may like in the mental health category
Maybe these heightened feelings are normal for anyone going through a redundancy process. It’s probably just part of the process and how your mind accepts the huge change which will be happening to you at any moment. A moment someone else chooses, usually based on money-making and not paying any attention to your life.
The current employment situation in the UK
I can tell you, from my recent experience of visiting the job centre, unstable job conditions have impacted a lot of people and the department is inundated. The knock-on effect of COVID, and greedy CEOs making reckless decisions, together with a failing economy, have created a recipe for disaster. And it’s set to get even worse!
Yes, there are jobs out there, but the game has changed. I’m hoping the shift will eventually benefit office workers and companies to start to value mental health. I hope EVERYONE starts to place the same physical illness value on mental illness. Especially after we’ve all endured so much trauma lately.
Some of you might be asking why I went back to the workplace at all. Well, I wanted and deserved the redundancy payment. I also deserved to be treated like a human being. Bear in mind, that I am an advocate for mental well-being and society ditching the stigma those with mental illnesses suffer. I couldn’t just let this situation slide, without showing up and standing up for myself. In turn, I felt like I was also standing up for other people.
I considered raising concerns, then I weighed this up against the mental exhaustion this would exert and the potential of really gaining anything. In the end, I cut my losses and decided to start putting my energy into my new life.
Work should be a complementary part of our lives, not the thing that makes it unliveable
TO clarify, I’m all for mental health training in the workplace. But it has to be great training, run by people who’ve experienced dealing with a mental health crisis first hand. It can’t just be another set of standard lines companies use to protect themselves.
Trusted training resources
Mind conducts workplace training and I would trust them as a great resource. It’s also great to see the training by Rethink Mental Illness had input from people with lived experience. There are also other smaller companies running mental health training and there is value out there.
Workplaces – please create a different process for mental health absences
Another significant issue that made me feel like my mental illness wasn’t valid, was the return to work process. Workplaces need to create different policies for mental health circumstances. As they would do a terminal illness or a bereavement. Any other unusual situation, which doesn’t fit into the category of physical health.
My hope for HR departments in the future
Whilst I don’t have personal experience of it, I hope other employers are already doing the great things I’ve suggested. I hope this blog post doesn’t need to be read by most companies, but my own experience was just a stand-alone negative one. In conducting some research for this post I found this promising article about HR awards won by a building society. I wish all businesses would adopt this approach.
It’s also important for HR to check the company ethos is being implemented in all departments. And ensure there isn’t a disconnect between individual departments.
The main point
My life is different and much happier, and I now have support in my new workplace. And I am thankful for the journey because it taught me so much about my mental strength in challenging times.
Worrying statistics
The statistics for mental health-related absences in the UK look grim. And some of the research was conducted pre-pandemic. Arguably, we are in a worse position currently. Worst still, people are sometimes dismissed as a result of their mental health struggles.
How can we continue to accept this treatment?
One final note about burnout
Whilst I am still trying to make sense of what happened to me, I faced complete burnout as a result of overdoing it. I want to take this opportunity to tell all my readers this is not the way you have to live. Yes, we all need money. Both I and my hubby have to work to pay bills and live, but it is possible to balance this with looking after your mental health.
My wish for the future is that employers become the ones who prioritise this on behalf of their employees. And they avoid creating a culture where people feel they need to do more for the same money. Employ more staff, reduce the workload, and spend money to ease pressure on your staff!
Will you ever recover from burnout? I have. Granted, I am not the same person I was before. I now take less rubbish and I know, my boundaries. I won’t ever allow a repeat of this situation.
Final thoughts
This is my journal of a tough time in my life. In keeping with the theme of this blog, I wanted to share this with you because I want to help other people in the same situation. I want other people to realise they are not alone. Thankfully, I have recently started a new chapter in my career and I am in a better place.
Let time know what you think of the post in the comments below. I would love to hear from you.
Because this is such an emotive issue for me, it would be great to hear from anyone who can relate. Your comments are much appreciated and it helps me and other people know we are not alone in our struggles.
It is a proven fact, that the early years of our lives shape who we are and how well we cope with challenges in adult life. A traumatic experience in childhood can have lasting effects. Exploring emotions is vital.
All human beings have emotions. They start to develop at an early age, often when toddlers don’t really understand what they are yet. The common one in our house at the moment is missing other people. This involves a daily conversation filled with reassurance, that everyone misses the people they love.
Because toddler emotions are a challenge I currently face. And I know other parents definitely go through this cycle, I wanted to write a post dedicated to the best stories I could find, discussing children’s emotions.
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Let’s look at the research into why we should explore emotions
Understanding children’s emotions are critical to understanding their behaviour. Early years children feel a range of emotions, but often cannot express, interpret or process them like us.
With poor emotional skills, it could be harder for children to learn:
Children grow and develop rapidly in their first five years across the four main areas of development. These areas are motor (physical), communication and language, cognitive, social and emotional.
Social and emotional development means how children start to understand who they are, what they are feeling and what to expect when interacting with others. It is the development of being able to:
Form and sustain positive relationships.
Experience, manage and express emotions.
Explore and engage with the environment.
Positive social and emotional development is important. This development influences a child’s self-confidence, empathy, the ability to develop meaningful and lasting friendships and partnerships, and a sense of importance and value to those around them. Children’s social and emotional development also influences all other areas of development.
Parents and caregivers play the biggest role in social/emotional development because they offer the most consistent relationships for their children. Consistent experiences with family members, teachers and other adults help children learn about relationships and explore emotions in predictable interactions.
To nurture your child’s social and emotional development, it is important that you engage in quality interactions like these on a daily basis, depending on the age of your child:
Be affectionate and nurturing: hold, comfort, talk and sing with your baby, toddler and child.
Help your baby experience joy in “give-and-take” relationships by playing games like “peek-a-boo.”
Provide your toddler with responsive care, letting them practice new skills while still providing hands-on help.
Support your child’s developing skills; help him/her, but don’t do everything for your child, even if it takes longer or is messy.
Teach social and emotional skills, such as taking turns, listening and resolving conflict.
What happens if we don’t manage emotions
One of the most important ways parents or guardians can help is by listening to their children and taking their feelings seriously. They may want a hug, they may want you to help them change something or they may want practical help.
Children and young people’s negative feelings usually pass. However, it’s a good idea to get help if your child is distressed for a long time if their feelings are stopping them from getting on with their lives, if their distress is disrupting family life or if they are repeatedly behaving in ways you wouldn’t expect at their age.
What’s Troubling Tawny? The award-winning second book in the Sumatran Trilogy! Tawny longs to make friends with another rhino, but her shyness holds her back. When she meets a hornbill called Tallulah, she is surprised to learn that she has a lot in common with the beautiful bird.
Poppy the porcupine has always wanted to make a friend, but her defensive nature prevents her. When a young tiger cub stumbles upon her one day in the rainforest, she reacts badly and scares him away.
Determined to change her ways, she sets out to find him, but little does she know that the tiger cub is about to have a problem of his own. In the face of danger, will Poppy find a way to save the day?
The Problem with Poppy is the award-winning debut picture book by British author Emma Sandford. Illustrated by Ukrainian artist Olena Osadcha.
If you could change something about yourself, would you do it?
When Sarah Simpkins is teased about her shadow in the school playground, she finds herself wishing she didn’t have one.
That night she has the chance to make the wish come true. But will losing her shadow really make her happy?
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Let’s Be Friends Again
Purchase the book below:
Let’s Be Friends Again
Kids World Books – Sibling fights, tantrums and subsequent bonding is the theme of this story.
The story is narrated by a boy and he narrates rather than shares his experiences with his sister. The boy and the girl play together. They spend most of their leisure time together. Just like every sibling, they fight often and bond subsequently.
The boy finds some trouble with his sister. The boy sometimes babysits for his sister and she used to trouble him! However, she was a good listener and the boy used to tell some great stories. The boy refused to share his toys with her. Yet, the smart girl used to grab all her brother’s toys. The tantrum began when the girl played with his brother’s pet turtle!
The girl thought that the tank where the pet turtle was kept was too small for the turtle. She carried it to the pond and let it free in the pond.
The boy was as angry as he lost his pet turtle. He showed his anger in many ways. He shouted at her. He threw away his toys and kept on thinking about his turtle. His parents supported his sister. He planned to avenge the loss of his pet and imagined many things. (This is definitely a fun part that everyone would die laughing).
He couldn’t sleep for hours thinking about the pet. He then saw his sister playing in the garden so happy like never before. The boy was surprised as well as very angry seeing her sister happy.
He made a decision! What was that?
Let’s be friends again, the lovable brother and sister, their cute fights, rivalry, etc are narrated beautifully. It happens very commonly in every household.
Children and young people are still developing – they don’t have adult brains or bodies, so need help to understand and manage their emotions.
You’ve probably heard your parents or grandparents say “they’re just attention seeking” or “they’re being difficult”. But there’s usually more to it than this.
We often ask people who contact Children 1st Parentline: “What is your child trying to tell you when they’re acting like that?” Looked at this way, unwanted behaviour is usually about a child needing something – or their way of trying to work out how to manage something.
From a toddler’s need for comfort to a teenager’s conflicting desires for independence and security, testing behaviour is common and is often set off by everyday experiences rather than big events.
Jodi also thinks the book will come just at the right time for children who have had to shut themselves away all year and might be scared to try something new.
She added: “It is a lovely story for 4–7-year-olds about taking yourself out of your comfort zone to try new things.
“Worley’s story is a fab way to engage children with these cute little monsters and learn how to develop their confidence.
“The book also included suggested activities for parent and adult readers.
“I’m also now writing my second story for the series about Worley and Co!
“Having suffered quite a bit as a kid – I lost my dad at 10 and my best friend at 14 – and had a lot of bullying and not nice things going on and I didn’t know how to cope,” she explained.
“That had a massive effect on me as an adult which led to a breakdown. I don’t want kids to go through what I did. The more people I can teach and I can help the better. I don’t think I would have had as big a meltdown if I already had tools to use.
“My characters are all monsters – I have a whole tribe of emotions monsters that teach children about emotions. Worley is the main one and he meets his friends with different emotions.
“The first one was teaching him to be brave and through the monster, you learn you might make a mistake but it will be fine. He realises he doesn’t need to be the best at everything.
“The second book is about anger. The book is written as a rhyme; basically, Worley gets angry and doesn’t know what it is. His friend George, the angry monster, teaches him it is ok to be angry and how to manage it.
“It is done in quite a fun way so children can understand.”
Buster Finds His Beat
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Buster Finds His Beat
A feel-good story about an autistic boy, That will capture your imagination and fill you with joy.
Buster uses ear defenders to soften sounds he hears, Find out what happens when he faces his fears…
Pick up your copy, you’ll be in for a treat, As he uses the power of sound to find his own beat.
The first book in a new rhyming picture book series from D.M. Mullan and Kirsteen Harris Jones – welcome to D.M. Mullan’s Curious Tales… Hector van Groat If something is missing, and you’re feeling blue, you could learn from Hector, who feels this way too. This little genius lives in an upside-down boat, and he grunts from his hill like a grumpy old goat. “Hector van Groat needs no one but Hector because he is a genius, a crazy inventor”.
A beautifully illustrated picture book about mental health for young readers. Where Is My Smile? is the story of a little boy who can’t find his smile anywhere. He searches and searches, but it’s nowhere to be found. Where could his smile be? This delightful picture book is perfect as a bedtime story, and to help little children understand that it’s okay to be sad sometimes, but we can always find our way through it.
Final Thoughts
I hope you enjoyed reading my list of books to inspire conversations with your toddler about emotions.
Do you have any of these books? Or will you be purchasing them? What techniques do you use to explore emotions?
I would love to hear from you in the comments below.
Today I am so excited to welcome a guest blogger! I am also over the moon to introduce a mummy, also facing difficult issues with a newborn. I can relate to this. My guest blogger today has turned a negative experience of her own into something to help others. All the details you need to connect with Lauryn can be found at the end of this post.
POST UPDATED 30 July 2022
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Let’s dive into why a sleep routine is important
I felt very ready to have a baby in every sense. I was 32 years old and financially secure. It was great that I had a successful teaching career of ten years and my relationship was strong.
As a confessed perfectionist, when we fell pregnant, I did all of the homework to be fully prepared. We did an online hypnobirthing course together. I planned my drug-free, calm labour. In addition, I planned to breathe the baby out (LOL) simply. I also knew all there was to know about the fourth trimester. I was, of course going to breastfeed. It was on the agenda to get started early with a bedtime routine. Additionally, I planned to be back in the gym from six weeks postnatal. I also signed up for lots of baby classes with my NCT friends.
I had all of the right things to ensure a sound night’s sleep for our baby. The right clothes, crib, mattress, baby monitor, and dream sheep to get her sleeping easily. You name it, we had it.
Finally, eight days after my due date, I started feeling labour pains. My feelings were weirdly nervous and excited. I just could not wait to meet this baby I felt so connected to during the pregnancy. Preparing, I calmly got my hypnobirthing tools ready. Bouncing on my ball, candles lit, and a comedy video, had me feeling prepared.
My labour did not go as planned. After 30 hours, I ended up having an emergency C-section and my daughter came out with suspected sepsis and was whisked straight off to neonatal care.
Once I got home, all the planning we had done during pregnancy felt pointless. I felt beyond unprepared for this responsibility. Breastfeeding was not working for us and I felt like the ultimate failure in getting the formula out. My daughter had classic colic and cried for 3-6 hours every evening. It was exhausting and I felt awful I was unable to console her.
How had I gone from feeling as if I knew exactly what to expect, to this? I realised that one thing no one had told me might come with new motherhood. Anxiety.
I have never been an overly anxious person, but all of a sudden every aspect of motherhood was anxiety-inducing. Breastfeeding, sleep, guests coming over, leaving the house. All of it. My plans to go to classes and groups were far too big for me to face and I was so anxious about guests coming in case she would cry and I would not be able to settle her.
How lockdown impacted the situation
Eight weeks after she was born, we were plunged into the very first lockdown. This was great for me because it meant I didn’t have to face my anxiety about going out or guests coming over. Although in hindsight, there were negative aspects, because it didn’t give me a chance to talk to professionals, as medical visits and access to health visitors had ceased.
To regain control, I started a very rigid sleep routine with my little one. Every nap had to be to the minute of my new programme. The sleep environment had to be perfect. If it ever went out of the window, it was a huge stress for me and could ruin my entire lockdown day.
Light at the end of the tunnel
Needless to say, I realised it was time to do some mental digging and see what was going on. I opened up to friends who had suffered postnatally and searched for information online. After thinking about it, I eventually concluded that anxiety was linked to birth trauma. I had not given myself the chance to go over my labour or the fact she was taken straight from me due to being ill upon arrival.
Once I did a little work on myself through the lockdown, the pressure I’d put myself under started to lift. I introduced yoga, meditation, and journaling into my routine.
Turning a negative into a positive
I eased up a little on the sleep routine and now two years down the line I have trained to become a sleep consultant to work with families on gentle sleep schedules and training, to cause the least anxiety possible.
If anyone out there is new to this parenting gig and finding things tough, open up. Talk it out when you’re ready and know that this storm will pass and get better. More beautiful days are coming your way.
Lauryn and her little one
Angelcare were fantastic for all of our baby’s needs when we had a newborn. Check them out.
More details on how to contact Lauryn
Lauryn has worked as a full-time teacher for 10 years, teaching Drama and English in both primary and secondary settings. Since having her first child, Eliza, she realised the importance of sleep for well-being and this led to her training to become a sleep consultant in Summer 2021. Lullaby Lauryn launched in October and she can’t wait to help as many families as possible improve their sleep.
I don’t always want to put the work in to protect my mental health. Keeping on top of it sometimes becomes a chore and the rebellious side of my personality wants to give up. But I don’t! Whilst I have weeks where I am just not feeling it. If I don’t have time for self-care, I usually catch myself and urgently utilise some much-needed mental well-being techniques I have in my toolbox.
I would encourage anyone else out to keep maintaining a good standard of mental well-being. Especially during the winter months.
Why do we as humans know how to physically rest, but we have a problem with guilt when it comes to looking after our mental health?
Quick note: Some of the links contained on this page are affiliate links. If you go through an affiliate link to make a purchase, I will earn a commission. I only recommend products I use myself and think would be helpful for other people.
You might have already seen my TikTok where I talk about my current feelings. I can’t shake the feeling of wanting to hibernate until March 2023. I feel lower than usual and have to work harder than ever to keep my head above water.
I’ve written on the blog before about Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) and how this can have an impact on our mental health.
I already have anxiety problems, which can sometimes lead to low periods and depression.
As I said in the TikTok video, each year I forget just how bad I feel. Lack of vitamin D, limited natural light and horrible, cold weather can impact our bodies negatively. Which can lead to implications for our mental and emotional well-being.
Here are my tips for maintaining a good standard of mental well-being during the winter months, including some worksheets to help you…
As of last weekend, I definitely feel pretty low mentally. Especially when it’s dark all day & the rain won’t stop. At this point, I feel like it will rain until March 2023 & I just want to hide under the duvet until then. For anyone currently feeling the same, some helpful tips will be posted on the blog over the weekend. Hope it helps ❤️❤️❤️ #mentalhealth#mentalhealthmatters#mentalhealthawareness#sad#seasonaldepression
I know it’s challenging to fit in time for self-care. And society still holds the opinion that resting and relaxing is wasting your time or pure laziness. This couldn’t be further from the truth!
Not looking after myself or getting enough sleep for a few months, led me to have a full mental breakdown. It then took me 18 months to fully recover.
If you’re a gym goer, you will understand rest days. Similarly, if you walk a lot for your job, you sit down at night and physically rest. Why do we as humans know how to physically rest, but we have a problem with guilt when it comes to looking after our mental health?
Make some time. Even five minutes can help you. I am now well-practised at meditation andcan complete a hypnotherapy recording in five minutes. It may not seem like a lot of time, but it helps.
2. Plan in self-care time to avoid burnout
Felling low, and becoming irritable can creep up on us and we don’t always consciously know what’s happening. Allocating specific days and times for self-care can help.
I personally tell my hubby in advance that I will need childcare cover. To complete the hypnotherapy mediations, I then find a quiet room and some time to myself, without a toddler bothering me. I dedicate at least 90% of my time to her care, needs and spending time as a family. 20-30 minutes to refresh myself isn’t a lot to ask. And we shouldn’t feel guilty as parents when we need to ask for this time out.
3. Use some tools to assist you in your journey
Because of my history of mental health problems, I now have a toolkit on hand for my low moments. These are some of the things in there:
In the mental health community, we all know talking to someone can be powerful. And it helps. In the aftermath of my mental breakdown, making connections with like-minded people, pulled me out of the fog and allowed me to move forward.
You might be reluctant to make social connections and I know the feeling of just wanting to hide away. But please talk to someone if you need to!
5. Change your routine
Stepping outside your comfort zone and doing something you wouldn’t normally do, can help break the depression cycle in your brain. For me, it became sitting in the local park, soaking in nature and literally putting myself back together.
Even walking a different way home from the park, during those dark moments in my mind, helped me. I felt very much like my brain wouldn’t reboot. But these different habits started to fill me with confidence and allowed me to think slightly differently. Gain a new perspective on life.
6. Do some exercise
Exercise alone won’t cure you of your mental struggles, but it will help you to feel better along the way. During those dark days, it can get you moving and out of the house. And slowly, you start to tackle other challenges.
Here are some other resources on the blog which may be helpful for you:
In this post, I include some great books about managing anxiety, written by those with lived experience. There are also some great workbooks to manage stress, which I still use to this day!
Parenting is a challenging time. Lack of sleep, a completely new routine and not having a clue how to look after a child, can all take a toll. I am actively adding to this page for any parents out there who may be struggling,
On this page, I share my journey of completing a Perma hypnotherapy course. And how it benefitted me massively. If it’s something you’ve considered, check out the blog posts.
I must admit, I sometimes forget to take my vitamins for a few days and I usually don’t feel great when it happens. I now take a vitamin D supplement, which helps me throughout the year, but especially in winter.
Everyone is different and will need a different supplement to fuel their bodies. Get some advice, or look into what works best for you.
8. Get enough sleep
I know from experience, some people just cannot get enough sleep. For a new mother, it just isn’t possible. Prior to motherhood, I never slept well because I had thoughts whirling through my mind all the time. So I get it.
If you can, try and get 7-8 hours of sleep, or however much your body needs. This is the time when our body repairs itself and it is therefore vital to our well-being.
9. Positive thinking
For me personally, positive thinking is about having affirmation cards littered around my workspace. It is also doing meditation recordings which contain powerful, life-changing messages. Mostly, it is being aware that our thoughts can impact us positively or negatively. And trying to turn things around if I am not having a great time mentally.
10. Be kind to yourself
The winter months can be harsh on both our minds and bodies. Do whatever it takes to be kind to yourself. Have an ice cream, and jump in bed for a nap. Spend time under the duvet. And don’t feel guilty for looking after yourself.
Final Thoughts
Every human being is different and will respond to these techniques and tools differently. I personally found that combining a range of these different strategies and tools, helped me become well enough to get through the dark days and then focus on mentally recovering.
Free download
I’ve created a self-care planner, where you can list all the areas you want to focus on. There are four sections, and each allows you to focus on a different area of your life. To bring an overall sense of well-being.
Mind – Infoline: 0300 123 3393 – this helpline provides information and signposting. (open 9 am to 6 pm, Monday to Friday (except for bank holidays).
Anxiety UK – they have a helpline: 03444 775 774 Text support: 07537 416 905 (open Mon-Fri 09:30 am-5:30 pm)
The Stay Alive app is a pocket suicide prevention resource for the UK, packed full of useful information to help you stay safe
Shout – If you would prefer not to talk but want some mental health support, you can text SHOUT to 85258. Shout offers a confidential 24/7 text service providing support if you are in crisis and need immediate help
SANEline – If you’re experiencing a mental health problem or supporting someone else, you can call SANEline on 0300 304 7000 (4.30 pm–10.30 pm every day).
My thoughts on awareness days – whilst I believe there is much more work to be done in reducing the stigma surrounding mental health, I am thankful for awareness days, in bringing such important issues to the forefront of peoples’ minds.
Trigger warning – throughout this post, I will discuss intimate topics regarding the birthing process. Depression, anxiety, paranoia & touch on baby loss. If any of these subjects are a trigger for you, please do not continue to read this post
PLEASE NOTE – It’s also important to note that this post contains an account of my own personal experiences and perspective during that time.
The right time
I’ve wanted to talk about this for a while. But I simply haven’t been ready. You may have seen a TikTok post about the dangers of postpartum depression. This subject is something I am passionate about. Because my mental health significantly worsened during pregnancy. Hormones played a huge part in my declining mental well-being.
The essence of this blog is to raise awareness of both mental illness AND how difficult pregnancy can be for some expectant mothers
Before we get into it
It’s important to note that it’s only over the last year that I feel able to discuss these issues. For two years following birth, I really struggled mentally and emotionally.
I will be honest and say that I still have some paranoid thoughts about the safety of my little one. Which I think stems from the fact we experienced an emergency situation during birth. I try my best not to let these thoughts impact my daily life. And I’m no longer a believer in “what if” – the what if never happened. Probably for a good reason. Therefore it’s just a waste of brain power. And in the past, contemplating the “what if”, sent me to a dark place mentally. I’m quite disciplined these days in not allowing my mind to run away with itself.
Going into the hospital to be induced, I was full of anxiety and what followed was a series of traumatic events. I just wasn’t able to adequately cope with it.
Existing anxiety
Looking back, I think the main personality trait which worsened my anxiety levels in the hospital, was lack of control. I also live my life based on instincts, something you can’t convey in a clinical setting.
Six months before birth I just knew it would result in a c section. I had a feeling, but it was more than that. It was so believable to me – like it had already taken place. This made interactions with midwives difficult. Because I just wanted the outcome I KNEW would happen anyway. I want people to understand that expectant mothers DO know best. We know our own bodies and instinctively feel things someone else could never understand.
But first… Some context – let’s look at pregnancy and the lead-up to the birth
In addition to stress from my day job, one of the biggest driving factors for my decline in mental health was pregnancy. I still can’t remember a day, during pregnancy, when I felt happy and well. There probably was some, but for me, the whole process was one I just didn’t enjoy! This experience makes me apprehensive about going through the process again. AND it makes me angry when I see polished parenting posts online. I wish people would be mindful that not everyone’s pregnancy experience is the same. I am happy with people posting about their lives. Just not making their lives about everyone else. This can be so harmful to young expectant mothers.
Having to travel to work, five days a week, met with stress, whilst pregnant, sick & tired, was a daily battle. It got to the point where I couldn’t physically do it anymore and had to leave work one month earlier than planned. The worry of an already short maternity leave and money pressures, added to the anxiety of the whole experience.
Antenatal depression
I’ve discussed on the blog before that I suffered from antenatal depression. However, at the time I didn’t know this term and nobody helped me in establishing what was actually happening to me. Labels aren’t always helpful when it comes to mental health. But on this occasion, for me, it would have been. I made the difficult decision to start taking antidepressants during pregnancy. I had no choice. Being incredibly unwell, at such a vulnerable time in life was horrible. And I needed something to stabilise me.
Going into the hospital to be induced, I was full of anxiety and what followed was a series of traumatic events. I just wasn’t able to adequately cope with it.
The nitty gritty
We arrived at the hospital, apprehensive, as any first-time parents would be. This is us in the sunshine, not knowing what to expect.
I was induced on my due date because one of the measures of my scans was a little concerning. That day we had a stand-in sonographer. And to this day I feel like he was sent to me by those watching over me. As you will learn later in this story, my little one was at risk and had a chest infection. In newborns, this can be severe and they label it pneumonia (something I cried about when I read the notes) If I hadn’t been offered an induction on my due date, where would we be?
SIDE NOTE – I was given my maternity notes, which I opened one day and it resulted in a complete meltdown. I don’t think this information should never have been in my hands. When firstly, I was so out of it during the experience, that I don’t remember much. And secondly, the trauma of it all made me vulnerable.
The induction suite
The induction was going well until they asked my partner to leave at 9 pm. Partners couldn’t stay in the induction suite. At this point, I lost the one person who could support me and knew me inside out. Don’t get me wrong, maternity staff are some of the loveliest people you will ever meet. But they do not know you enough to understand you in your most vulnerable moments of life. For these reasons, I am a huge advocate for partners or trusted people being allowed to sleep in maternity wards, preferably in private rooms with bathroom facilities. It’s an absolute must for me. And something I will always continue to advocate for.
Loss of a trusted person who knows you well
Mentally and physically things went downhill after my partner left. I was in so much pain and something was wrong, but I felt like the staff wouldn’t listen. There was stuff scattered all over our cubicle because I was in so much pain I couldn’t bend down and pick things up. I felt like a nuisance to other people in the induction suite. My anxiety levels were through the roof and I felt alone.
The staff agreed move me at 1 am. At this point, I was unable to pick up a phone to speak to my partner (they had to do it for me). And they rushed me round, on a wheelchair to a birthing room. But prior to this, I was told one wasn’t ready!
Epidural
Because the pain was so bad, I requested an epidural. My mum and hubby witnessed me in so much pain and not doing well at all, prior to them agreeing to pain relief. The anaesthetist took ages to arrive. I’m fully aware the NHS staff are busy. But in the moment, it was difficult to be anything other than fuming, exhausted and ready to flip out.
SIDE NOTE – I still have sciatica to this day and my back has never been the same since the epidural. But each time I raise with a GP, I’m told it shouldn’t be an issue. Lasting physical damage as a result of pregnancy is also something I am eager to raise awareness of. It happens. And I would rather listen to the genuine experiences of people who have suffered physically postpartum (there are lots of people saying the same thing as me)
Following the epidural, I was able to recover slightly from the pain. There were two lovely midwives assigned to me. But I was very sick and needed to have my clothes cut off, because sick went everywhere. They tried to put a thin sheet on me and I felt overheated. Like I would be sick again. Therefore I spent the majority of my time in this room, completely naked for all staff to see. In moments like this, you simply don’t care. Birth and motherhood definitely make you less bothered about vanity and how you look.
I want to thank those two midwives. They turned a traumatic experience around, for the majority of the time I was in hospital. For a while, my anxiety levels were reduced and I could get some much needed rest!
Anxiety setting in
Although the pain was gone, I was still somewhat anxious that they kept topping up the epidural and the pressure I was feeling just didn’t feel right. It would transpire later that my little one was stuck and her shoulders were ramming into my bottom. Something I had told staff since about 10 pm, in the induction suite. The surgeon commented that she would never have come out naturally and that whoever made the c-section decision, made the right call. This is EXACTLY how I felt earlier in the night.
It’s just a given that new parents will probably be less equipped to cope with the anxieties and potential trauma of birth, than parents who’ve already experienced the system.
Not being heard – let’s rewind
Let’s go back to the delivery room. Nothing was progressing and I wasn’t passing any urine. I also had some feeling down one leg, which was strange.
I asked for a c-section, but because I had known it would happen six months prior, I didn’t come across in the right way. And the staff in the room felt reluctant to do it. They wanted me to wait it out! It was a battle to have my wishes fulfilled. I take on board that some of the reluctance was due to how I reacted.
Following a collective decision to finally do it. Panic stations ensued. Signing paperwork, getting me ready. What I wasn’t aware of at the time, was that I had a fever and the little one was clearly in distress and needed to come out. I was completely out of it. And to this day, I tell a different story to my hubby. Bless him, he was aware of everything that happened that day. And also suffered mentally after birth. We both did.
The aftermath of the C-section
The operation went well, but I was distressed as to why she wasn’t crying (apparently c section babies don’t cry as they have mucus stuck and staff have to clear their airways)
The relief I was feeling during these pictures was immense. She was finally here and safe. But not for long.
My poor mum had waited outside the emergency delivery room for over an hour. Probably worried sick. I was only allowed one other person with me in the theatre. And my mum completely understood that this should be my hubby.
My little baby whisked away
We were taken to a private room, but the midwife was concerned about my little one looking blue. The neonatal manager came in and gave her some oxygen. Then quickly whisked her away to the neonatal ward. At the time, this was painful for her to be taken and I was so out of it, I didn’t know what was happening. Sleep was the only thing on my mind. But then I felt guilty for wanting to sleep and not being able to take care of my baby.
I couldn’t fully comprehend she had been taken. In hindsight, she was in the best place possible. And both the midwife and neonatal manager called in to check on me (after their shifts had ended!). They understood how painful this situation was and their care had a positive impact on me. In what was a very distressing situation.
My medical notes were clear. I had depression and anxiety problems, which we so severe I started taking antidepressants during pregnancy. It would be great for maternity ward staff to be aware of these notes and essentially factor this in, during a stay in the hospital.
Hospital stay
In the five days which followed, my hubby was the one caring for both me and my little one. I was in a ward where it was noisy. The staff busy rushing around and I wasn’t doing well mentally. I didn’t want to get up and about (due to the risk of blood clots after surgery, you need to get up and walk). Therefore I had to be encouraged to go see my little one and it was a while before I did.
Fear of being judged
I’ve spoken on the blog and my social media accounts before, about the fact that I believed the hospital staff were watching me. Paranoia set in and it’s one of the reasons I didn’t want to visit my little one. I was afraid of getting it wrong. It’s important to say, they were not actually doing anything to rationalise this feeling. But high anxiety levels, exhaustion, and hormones played a big part in my warped perspective. A perspective which was very real to me at the time.
In terms of breastfeeding, I didn’t feel like a choice was being presented to me, for how I wanted to feed my baby. To be honest, going through the pain of breastfeeding was the last thing on my mind and probably the one thing which would have tipped me over the edge mentally.
My little one is fine, never having been breastfed. And I know LOTS of other babies who are too. I wish society would be more accepting of the fact it’s a choice. I’m fine with being told about the benefits of breastfeeding. But not being presented with your own clear choice to make, is a problem for me.
Honest feelings about the neonatal unit
To be honest, part of me wanted to stay away from the neonatal unit for fear they would talk about breastfeeding. The nurse looking after our little one didn’t, other than to ask what my decision was. But I was apprehensive about it constantly.
I stayed in the hospital for three days and was relieved when I was discharged. You don’t get proper rest on these wards and are woken up every hour for checks. The real recovery began at home. But I was so distressed about leaving my little one in the hospital. I couldn’t win. It felt like I chopped my leg off and left it behind. But home was the best place for my recovery.
We were offered a room in the neonatal ward but refused it. I wouldn’t have properly rested. I was still weary of being there and there were other, more needy parents who would use it. Parents whose babies would remain on that ward for months and not days. (at this point, I should make it clear again that neonatal staff are some of the most amazing people. But my perspective was totally warped by anxiety, depression, mum guilt and birth trauma).
My heart goes out to anyone who has endured birth trauma, or separation from a little one following birth. Or any family who has suffered mental health problems as a result of the pregnancy or the birth process.
Coming home
When my little one eventually came home, we were so thankful. But we also didn’t have a clue what to do. Nobody helps you. I was so overcautious about her safety, I would ask my hubby to carry her from room to room in a Moses basket. And ask visitors to hand gel first (we didn’t even have visitors for the first few weeks). Because she had already been ill, I was convinced she would get ill again.
A turning point
Whilst I coped well, the medication helped. It would be two years before I could fully move past the trauma that happened to our family.
The turning point was me drunkenly saying I didn’t want to have another child, for fear they might die.
Solutions
Ultimately, we need to stop judging new parents for feeling completely normal feelings, following birth. After a traumatic experience, these reactions are completely justified. So why do new parents and specifically new mothers, feel unable to speak out? Without fear of being judged or stigmatised.
In terms of maternity wards, simple changes could be made to ensure the experience is a little better. Such as private rooms, enough beds and partners being allowed to stay overnight.
I am fully aware there is no simple solution to the problem.
I also don’t think it’s appropriate to warn new parents of the dangers and unpredictability of childbirth. It’s just a given that new parents will probably be less equipped to cope with the anxieties and potential trauma of birth, than parents who’ve already experienced the system.
TikTok post – postpartum psychosis
You may have seen my TikTok post about the potential mental health dangers for new mums. Postpartum psychosis is something which can happen and it’s great that we are starting to raise awareness on this topic. More needs to be done to support new mothers and families.
I’ve spoken before on my blog about how beneficial a mental health nurse or well-being expert would be on a maternity ward. This would have benefitted me and my family so much. My medical notes were clear. I had depression and anxiety problems, which we so severe I started taking antidepressants during pregnancy. A mental health champion would have been amazing!
Health visitors
In the UK we have health visitors, who make contact when you come home, but you have little contact with them. And at the time, in my mental state, I honestly just felt like they were checking up on me. I felt inadequate as a mother. But like I had to put on a brave face during visits. My health visitor was caring and sympathetic. But I couldn’t shake the feeling I was being judged.
To tell anyone the reality of the thoughts inside my head would have alarmed them. I was in no way a danger to anyone – just exhausted, anxious, depressed, hormonal and thrown into a completely unknown situation. With a severe lack of sleep. Wondering what on earth had just happened to our family, and trying to make sense of it all.
Let’s not stigmatise already traumatised new parents
Ultimately, we need to stop judging new parents for feeling completely normal feelings, following birth. After a traumatic experience, these reactions are completely justified. So why do new parents and specifically new mothers, feel unable to speak out? Without fear of being judged or stigmatised.
Final thoughts & summary
My little one is almost four years old. And I finally feel like I have mentally and emotionally moved past this experience. Time helps you move on. Education also massively helped. Reading about what happened to me. Labelling some of the mental health conditions I had. And speaking to other parents, transformed my recovery.
Peer support and talking to other parents, also have a powerful impact. You get vital information from other people in a similar situation. And the connections I’ve made since starting this blog, help me mentally every single day.
I will never stop posting on this blog. It was born from trauma, despair and finding my way through a very dark place.
But what I’ve created helps people. I know this from the amazing comments and feedback I get. Advocating for more understanding of those suffering poor mental health, is something I will continue to do.
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